Originally Published in Schneps Media on September 18, 2025
Question:
Our 8-year-old has frequent meltdowns over small things like turning off a video game, not getting the snack he wants, or being told it is bedtime. He will yell, slam doors, and sometimes throw things. Once he gets upset, it can take a long time for him to calm down. We have tried talking to him, giving him space, and setting consequences, but nothing seems to work in the moment. How can we help him manage his emotions so that little upsets do not become overwhelming?
– Frustrated but Caring Parents
Dear Frustrated but Caring Parents:
It sounds like your son is having a hard time regulating his emotions, which is something many kids struggle with, especially when they are young and still learning how to communicate their feelings. When a child’s nervous system is dysregulated, their body and mind can get stuck in “high alert” mode, and calming down becomes very difficult. Without the right words to explain what is going on inside, those feelings often spill out in loud or physical ways.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we help children build tools to handle these moments in healthier ways. One of our favorite spaces for this is the Sensory Room. It is designed to help kids reset, with things like bubble tubes, textured walls, weighted blankets, and gentle, color-changing lights. Every child responds differently, so we customize each session to fit their needs. I have seen children who once could not sit through a regular therapy session walk into the Sensory Room, relax, and eventually start opening up.
You can create calming moments at home too. Try a weighted stuffed animal, noise-canceling headphones, a small quiet spot in the house, or even something simple like a piece of Velcro under a desk that your child can touch when he needs to focus. These small tools can make a big difference in helping him find his calm before his emotions get too big.
Nature and creativity are also powerful. Time in a garden, planting seeds, or doing art projects away from screens can give kids a grounding break from overstimulation. Art therapy works especially well for children who have a hard time expressing themselves with words because it gives them another way to communicate their feelings.
Most importantly, your calm presence matters more than you might realize. When you set clear boundaries, acknowledge how he feels, and model things like deep breathing, you are showing him that it is possible to work through big emotions without losing control. Over time, with patience and support, he will start to use those same strategies on his own.
To learn more about our lifesaving programs, call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org. In case of an emergency after hours, contact our partners at Long Island Crisis Center, (516) 679-1111
