by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Oct 20, 2012 | Anton Media
In September, County Executive Ed Mangano held a press conference on the growing heroin and prescription pill problem in Nassau County. At the press conference, Mr. Mangano stood with the mothers of children who died from drug overdoses. He said that there were 149 overdose deaths in 2011. To remedy this scourge he announced that Nassau is the first county that was certified by the New York State Department of Health to administer a Drug Overdose Prevention Program. This means that the County will train its employees, as well as families of atrisk individuals, in administering the overdose-reversal agent Narcan to anyone who has ingested large amounts of opioids, such as prescription painkillers like Oxycodone or street drugs like heroin, and who is in a life-threatening situation. Any step that Nassau County takes to save lives is welcome. However, at the press conference there was no mention of $7.3 million in human services funding that was cut on July 5, 2012, that included $1.75 million for outpatient chemical dependency treatment services. I am reminded of the parable about the small village on the edge of a river. One day a villager noticed a baby floating down the river. He jumped in the river and saved the baby. The next day he saw two babies floating down the river. He and another villager dived in and saved them. Each day that followed, more babies were found floating down the river. Consequently, the villagers organized themselves, training teams of swimmers to navigate the treacherous currents and rescue the babies. Rescue squads were soon working around the clock. Although they could not save all the babies, the rescue squad members felt good and were lauded for saving as many babies as they could. However, one day, one of the villagers raised an intriguing question: “Where are all these babies coming from? Why don’t we organize a team to head upstream to find out who’s throwing the babies into the river in the first place!” Implementing a new Drug Overdose Prevention Program that aims to save the lives at the same time that the County cuts drug treatment funding seems contradictory and signals a policy shift. Mobilizing county resources to pull babies from the river while simultaneously cutting back on activities to prevent the babies from being tossed into the river in the first place makes no sense at all and is likely to lead to a net loss of even more young lives. I suggest that the next time Mr. Mangano addresses the problem of drug overdoses, he would do well to turn around and look upstream.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 20, 2012 | Anton Media
September 5, 2012 marked two months since 7.3 million dollars, earmarked to support human services, were shifted to the general fund. We were told that this was due to the Nassau County legislature’s failure to pass $41 million in bonding for property tax refunds. But, it is not that simple. How did all of this get started? In 2009, then-County Executive Tom Suozzi “enlisted” the county’s most vulnerable citizens as unpaid lobbyists to advocate for red-light cameras, cigarette taxes and traffic-violation reform. Mr. Suozzi threatened scores of agencies serving tens of thousands of youths and families that they would be closed down or crippled unless the revenue enhancers were passed through Albany. Red-light camera legislation passed and local agencies were assured, by unanimous vote of the full Nassau County legislature, that related revenues would become a sustainable source funding for these services. Three years later, that agreement is null and void. Our young people are now the collateral damage in a political war over bonding and redistricting. More than two months have passed since the July 5, 2012 cuts to human services, which included $1.75 million of chemical dependency treatment funding. Despite extensive testimony, protests and media coverage, not a thing has changed. Advocates, young and old, have held press conferences, prayer vigils and a symbolic funeral for youth services. On August 6, several young people and adults attended a legislative meeting symbolically bound, gagged and blindfolded to point out that youth services were being held hostage. What is the outcome of all of this activity and attention? Democrat and Republican legislators continue to point fingers and holler at one another in front of hundreds of disbelieving youths and family members who have become regular attendees at legislative meetings as well as activists in addressing this issue. Youth services organizations that depend almost exclusively on County funds will close in a short time. Agencies with more diversified funding may not go out of business, but will have to shutter critical services such as after-school and summer programs as well as suicide, pregnancy, gang and drug-prevention programs that keep kids safe, provide enriching activities and offer a sense of belonging and relationships with caring adults during the non-school hours. The developmental tasks necessary for adolescents in our culture to become healthy, functioning adults require great effort and time and more than parent and school support alone. These tasks include forging relationships with peers and adults that lead to the achievement of emotional independence from parents, developing a healthy sexual identity, building a capacity for greater intimacy with peers, learning skills and selecting an economic career; also developing a moral value and an ethical system to guide one’s behavior as well as desiring and employing socially responsible behavior. Adolescence today is an age of particular vulnerability, a time in which youngsters are experiencing the sexual awakenings of puberty earlier than ever while facing increasing social and educational demands, and experimenting with more freedom, autonomy and choice than ever before. The politically-motivated de-funding of youth services is therefore an attack on the family. Nassau County’s broken promises and its propensity to use vulnerable young people as pawns in promoting partisan political interests represents a moral failing and a lack of leadership. Our elected representatives on both sides of the aisle should be ashamed of themselves for putting our most vulnerable young people in the political crosshairs. Who among them will stand and deliver to put an end to this madness?
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Aug 20, 2012 | Anton Media
Bob, my younger brother, was a die-hard Penn State football fan going back to the early 1960’s. In later years he became a college coach and athletic director. Presently, he is Chair of the Sports Studies Department at Guilford College. He has written and researched extensively on maximizing the educational value of sports participation for youths, middle and high school, and college athletes. I thought there was no one better to ask about the Penn State mess and what lessons parents could take from it? Here is what he told me: “For the past few months, we have been inundated with news about what is now commonly known as the ‘Penn State Scandal.’ Although the focus has been on the horrific acts of Jerry Sandusky and decrying the actions – or lack thereof – of Penn State administrators and others, it may be helpful to consider what the parents of young athletes can learn from this tragic affair. Many parents have paused and asked themselves, ‘What do I really know about the people coaching my children?’ First, the overwhelming majority of youth and high school coaches are solid citizens who have the best interests of your child in mind. But it would be naïve to think that there are not exceptions. Many states have laws requiring youth sport organizations and public schools to run background checks on coaches. Whether or not this is the case for your community, you can speak to the appropriate authorities about conducting these checks and implementing training programs that address how coaches can help young athletes to have a positive and safe experience. Parents need to understand that it is the coach’s job to manage the team and, for the most part, you should not interfere. However, you should be aware of the kind of experience that your child is having and you should feel free to ask questions. We sometimes tend to assign positive personal characteristics to coaches, whether deserved or not. This is particularly so in the case of winning programs; even at youth, and middle and high school levels. But winning championships doesn’t necessarily make someone a good person or role model. And, there is no question that it is difficult to challenge the coach who is competitively successful and has strong support from team parents and in the community. With unconditional support, less sensitive coaches can feel empowered to do as they please, especially if they are oblivious to how youngsters might be adversely impacted by their actions. Finally, you should strive to help your children keep sports in perspective. This starts with you, as a parent, doing the same. An appropriate level of perspective doesn’t mean that your child should not be competitive or do his or her best to excel on the field or court, or should not show respect 2 for coaches and teammates. It does mean that when faced with a coach who behaves inappropriately or a teammate who bullies other children, your child should be encouraged to share what is going on, as opposed to subscribing to the idea that a good team member never questions a coach’s authority, even if it is used to exploit or harm others. The great majority of coaches care deeply about the long term development of the children under their supervision, but parents of young athletes are wise to bear in mind an adage that was lost on a number of people involved in the Penn State tragedy: ‘Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.'”
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Jul 20, 2012 | Anton Media
The Dignity for All Students Act was signed into law on September 13, 2010 and took effect on July 1, 2012. According to the New York State Education Department, the dignity act “seeks to provide public elementary-school and secondary-school students with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment, and bullying on school property, a school bus and/or at a school function.” According to an official from the New York State Center for School Safety, the dignity act “takes a major step in creating more nurturing environments in all our schools.” The impetus for passage of the act was the increasing number of complaints about bullying at school and through social media. Schools are now expected to provide education and human-relations training for students of all ages to prevent discrimination and harassment. Schools must implement codes of conduct and procedures for reporting incidents of discrimination or harassment on school grounds. Last month, the state legislature passed an amendment to the dignity act that will address cyber-bullying. This provision will take effect a year from now and will enable schools to address ways to curb bullying in and out of the classroom. Parents would do well to familiarize themselves with the provisions of the new law. A sample local policy guideline is available on the Internet at: www.p12.nysed.gov/dignityact/documents/LocalDASAModelPolicyRev6-22-12_1.pdf. This 14-page document offers definitions of harassment, bullying, hazing and discrimination and guidelines for prevention, intervention, training, reporting and investigation. The guideline includes an important section that affirms that there is to be no retaliatory action against any reporter acting in good faith. Some schools across the state have registered for www.anonymoustips.com to assist students who might be afraid to report incidents. Although it is important for families to know that there are protections under the law for reporting acts of harassment, it would be naïve to think that children and teenagers who blow the whistle on their peers, if exposed or even suspected, would be immune from social consequences outside of school. The passage of the dignity act provides an opportunity for parents to talk to their children about how to protect themselves from intimidation, harassment and abuse of power. It also offers them a context to discuss how to be sensitive to others who are different and how to stand up, speak out and fight back in the face of abusive behavior. Students need to know that protecting oneself or advocating for others by speaking out are often tests of character and bold moves that can bring social consequences. 2 Although putting legal muscle into the fight against bullying in schools may prove helpful, it is not enough to tackle this social problem. No amount of legislation and no penalties for intimidating schoolyard behavior, no matter how severe, can guarantee that children will be safe at all times in, or outside of, school. The dignity act, as implemented on school grounds and within the purview of school officials, must complemented by support at home, pro-social bonds among neighbors and consistent community standards against bullying, bias and harassment, including in cyber-communities, otherwise the legislation will be little more than a paper tiger, another layer of bureaucracy, with limited influence in the real world in which kids reside.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Jun 20, 2012 | Anton Media
By Andrew Malekoff
The problematic use of alcohol, drugs and tobacco is unquestionably the nation’s number one health problem. While all segments of society are affected, the future of young people is most severely compromised by this epidemic. There has been increased media exposure and public education on the rise of young people’s abuse of pharmaceuticals – prescription drugs – that often leads to heroin use and addiction. Parents have been alerted to the fact that the most likely source of prescription drugs is the medicine cabinets of friends and family, where the pharmaceuticals can be easily attained at no cost; and, that the cost for a bag of heroin is less than that for a six-pack of beer. Despite enhanced media coverage on these drugs, what the public hardly hears about anymore is the fact that there are millions of children who grow up in homes with parents who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs. It has been estimated that approximately one in four children in the US is exposed to alcohol abuse and drug dependence in the family at some point before age 18. There are multiple impacts on children growing up in these homes. These young people are likely to become alcohol or drug abusers themselves without intervention. Children who grow up in families with alcohol and drug addiction learn to distrust to survive. They learn how to walk on eggshells. The behavior and attitude of the addict and the related emotional tone in the home is a day-to-day mystery. When unpredictability dominates a child’s life, they are likely to be perpetually wary, always sensing disappointment or danger lurking nearby. Children who grow up in addicted families become uncomfortably accustomed to living with chaos, uncertainty, unpredictability and inconsistency. These children have no idea what is normal. They live vastly different internal lives than their peers from homes where coping with addiction in the family is not a daily challenge. Denial and secrecy are common for children who live in alcoholic or addicted families. Their lives are organized around concealing the truth. Asking for help is out of the question as that would trigger exposure to the outside world, disloyalty inside the family and it would evoke intense feelings of embarrassment and shame. In an addicted family there is an ongoing and, most often, unspoken agreement to hide the problem to prevent exposure that will erode the image of a “perfect family.” Children may avoid bringing friends home and cringe at the thought of having the family secret 2 revealed. Their own needs and desires take a back seat to fronting for their family and preserving the image that belies the reality. It is hard to be a child in an alcoholic or addicted family. It takes a lot of energy just to get through the day. Growing up in such a family leaves children with little hope that things will ever change. Children who live in these homes often feel trapped, depressed, alone and desperate. There are no simple answers, but there is help. Family members, friends, pediatricians and school personnel who are attuned to this problem can help to break the conspiracy of silence. Understanding the barriers, gently inviting trust and seeking professional support is the first step to overcome the problems involved. If you need guidance about how to proceed, call Tyrone Anthony, coordinator of chemical dependency services at the Leeds Place, a branch of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, at 516-997-2926.
