by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 18, 2026 | Blog
By Tracy Brown, LCSW and volunteer with the Guidance Center
Emotions often get a bad rap. Many people were taught in childhood, either explicitly or implicitly, that experiencing strong emotions is a weakness or something to suppress. Have you ever been told to “just get over it,” “move on,” or “let it go” when you were upset? While often well-intentioned, this advice overlooks a fundamental truth: there is a reason we have emotions: because we need them!
Emotions can give us important information about a situation. They serve as signals that we are reacting to something in our environment or internally. They motivate our behavior and prepare us for action. They can help us save time when we need to act quickly. Emotions aren’t a flaw in our design—they are the design. However, it is important to understand that our emotions are often triggered by our thoughts or interpretations of events.
Every person experiences a wide variety of emotions (even if they aren’t aware of them). That’s what it means to be human. Without emotions, we wouldn’t be calm or strong or better regulated—we’d be robots. Emotions aren’t the problem; misunderstanding them or giving them the driver seat is.
So let’s talk about what emotions actually do for us.
Fear & Anxiety: Our Built-In Alarm System
Fear and anxiety were evolutionarily designed to keep us safe. Our fight or flight mechanism scans the environment for potential threats and prepares the body to respond quickly. Long ago, these emotions helped cave men to instinctively escape predators. In today’s world, they might arise when sensing danger, but they also may come up in less physically threatening situations, for example, when preparing for a presentation, trying to meet a deadline, or when thinking about an upcoming challenging social situation.
Anxiety not only motivates us to avoid or get out of dangerous situations; it also motivates us to problem solve and plan ahead. Without anxiety, how many of us would wake up on time for work, or be motivated to complete a project before a deadline?
The problem isn’t anxiety itself—it becomes problematic when the alarm goes off and we misinterpret or overestimate a threat. When anxiety turns into long periods of unproductive rumination, or leads to avoiding important tasks or activities that can actually be beneficial, it stops being helpful and starts running the show. That’s when we need to take a closer look at our relationship to anxiety, and seek help when we recognize it’s taken over and it’s not helping us reach our goals.
Still, its original purpose remains protection. So trying to suppress it is not the goal. You want to understand it, and find ways to relate to it in a healthy way.
Anger: The Boundary Setter
Anger often gets labeled as “bad,” but anger is often an emotion of information. It tells us that something feels unfair, threatening, or violating. Anger helps us recognize our boundaries and gives us the energy to defend them.
Healthy anger can lead to assertiveness, change, and justice. Unchecked or suppressed anger, on the other hand, can turn inward (as shame or anxiety) or outward (as aggression).
Anger isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal asking to be understood and channeled.
Sadness: The Emotion of Loss and Healing
Sadness shows up when we lose something—whether that’s a person, a dream, a phase of life, or a sense of safety. It slows us down so we can process, reflect, and heal.
Sadness also invites connection. When we allow ourselves to feel it, we often receive comfort and support from others. It reminds us of what matters.
Avoiding sadness doesn’t make it disappear—it just finds other ways to show up.
Joy: The Reinforcer
Joy tells us, This matters. This is good for me. It reinforces behaviors, relationships, and experiences that bring meaning and connection. Joy helps us build resilience—it doesn’t erase hardship, but it gives us something to return to.
Joy isn’t meant to be constant. It’s meant to be savored.
Disgust: The Protector
Disgust protects us from physical and emotional harm. It keeps us away from spoiled food, unsafe environments, and situations that feel deeply wrong. It’s a powerful protective emotion, even if we don’t always recognize it as such.
When an Emotion Takes Over the Driver’s Seat
Emotions are meant to be signals, not dictators.
When one emotion starts running your thoughts, choices, body, and behaviors, it may be time to pause and get support.That doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system is working overtime and you may benefit from support in managing these emotions.
Therapy, support, skills, and connection don’t eliminate emotions. They help you listen to them without being controlled by them.
The Goal Isn’t to Get Rid of Emotions
The goal isn’t to “fix” anxiety, silence anger, or avoid sadness.
The goal is to understand what your emotions are trying to tell you—and to respond with curiosity and balance instead of fear.
Because emotions aren’t the problem.
They’re part of the solution.
If your child is struggling to manage difficult emotions, you are not alone. The team at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is here to help. Call (516) 626-1971 to learn more about the programs and services offered.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Jan 27, 2026 | Blog
With the holiday season behind us and less festive days ahead, it’s common to experience the winter blues; a temporary dip in energy and emotion brought on by the shorter days and lack of sunlight.
While some level of winter blues isn’t unusual, for some people, the shorter, darker and colder days that characterize this time of year can cause a depressive episode that requires clinical intervention.
If you’ve noticed your child’s mood change dramatically when winter comes around, they might be in the six percent of the population who experiences seasonal affective disorder, or SAD.
While SAD typically begins in a person’s early 20s, older children and teens can develop the condition. More than simply the winter blues, SAD is characterized by feelings of sadness and hopelessness nearly every day. People with SAD are unable to enjoy the activities that typically make them happy; they have difficulty concentrating and are often tired and/or agitated.
Two chemicals in the brain—melatonin and serotonin—are responsible for regulating energy, sleep cycles and mood. During winter’s darkness, melatonin levels increase, causing sleepiness and fatigue. Serotonin, which is sometimes referred to as the feel-good chemical, is produced in greater amounts with exposure to sunlight, and we naturally get less light in the long, cold days of winter.
Some people suffer from a lesser form of SAD, whose symptoms include low energy, weight gain, and social withdrawal.
Some other facts: Females are about four times more likely to develop SAD than their male counterparts. People with a history of depression are more prone to experiencing symptoms of SAD.
Here are some strategies that you can share with your family, whether they might experience full-blown SAD or the milder winter blues (and most of these are useful tips for everyone year-round!):
- Get as much direct exposure to sunlight as possible.
- Since being out in the sun can be difficult this time of year, either due to cold temperatures or long days inside, consider purchasing artificial “sunbox” lights. Their special fluorescent tubes mimic the sun’s beneficial rays (plain lights don’t have the same effect).
- Keep or start an exercise routine. If it’s not too cold out and it’s a sunny day, try to walk outside to reap the benefits of being in natural sunshine. Even if you work out indoors, it will have a positive impact on your mood.
- Turn up the heat (between 64 and 70 degrees) and drink hot beverages.
- Eat healthy foods, with a focus on fruits and vegetables high in vitamin D. That’s good advice any time of year, but especially important in winter when your cravings for sugar and carbohydrates tend to increase.
- Don’t give in to the urge to isolate. Seeing friends and attending social functions are crucial to putting a damper on the blues.
- Engage with your creative side, whether it be taking up a new hobby or reintroducing a former favorite pastime. Encourage your child to participate in after-school clubs and other activities.
- Take up meditation and other mindfulness-based practices.
Finally, keep in mind that if your child’s depression is impacting their ability to function, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional, regardless of the season.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 26, 2025 | Blog
By Alissa Striano, a volunteer at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
As a volunteer at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center and as a yoga and Pilates instructor, I’ve always been fascinated by the mind-body connection. In my work, I see firsthand how breath, movement, and mindfulness can help regulate the nervous system. But it got me thinking: How do kids learn to calm their bodies and emotions when they’re feeling overwhelmed?
What does it really mean when a child has a dysregulated nervous system? What tools are available to help them feel calm, safe, and in control? And how do modern approaches like sensory rooms and art therapy make a difference?
To explore these questions, I sat down with Dr. Susan Cohen, Director of Clinical Services at the Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center. With over 30 years of experience at the Guidance Center, Dr. Cohen offers a wealth of knowledge on how emotional regulation develops and how the Guidance Center is meeting the growing mental health needs of children and teens through a variety of creative, therapeutic modalities.
“Kids are showing more anxiety,” says Dr. Cohen. “Especially since the pandemic, children are not as well-equipped to regulate their emotions.” After three decades at the Guidance Center, Cohen has seen the landscape of mental health shift dramatically and today’s children are facing emotional challenges at increasingly younger ages.
One of the reasons? Co-regulation, or rather the lack of it. “This can be brought on by the changes in society that have promoted increased leniency and a lack of boundaries,” she explains. The result is often a cycle of stress and reactive behavior that makes emotional regulation difficult for the whole family.
So, what does a dysregulated nervous system look like in a child?
“There are several layers to it,” Dr. Cohen says. “Some kids are hyperactive, can’t sit still, can’t focus. Others can’t tolerate frustration or being told ‘no.’ They fly off the handle with even mild stress.”
For younger kids especially, it’s not just about behavior; it’s about language. “They don’t have the vocabulary yet to express their feelings,” she says. “So, they act out physically with hitting, tantrums, and meltdowns. Older kids might slam doors or use inappropriate language, but younger ones just don’t have the words.”
That’s where the Guidance Center’s Sensory Room comes in.
A child-centered, multi-sensory environment filled with tools like bubble tubes, tactile walls, weighted blankets, and color-changing fiber optic curtains, it’s a place where over-stimulated children can reset.
“It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach,” Dr. Cohen explains. “Therapists tailor the experience to the child’s needs. One boy who couldn’t make it through traditional sessions without tantrums now finds calm in that space and is even able to talk more openly.”
The goal is to carry what works in the Sensory Room into everyday life. Dr. Cohen encourages parents to try simple tools at home like noise-canceling headphones, weighted stuffed animals, or even Velcro under a desk for discreet tactile input. “There are a lot of little tricks that can make a big difference,” she says.
The Guidance Center also supports children through nature-based therapy in their outdoor garden, The Friends of Nancy Marks Nature Nursery. “We plant vegetables, do arts and crafts outside, and keep the kids unplugged from screens,” says Dr. Cohen. “It’s a different kind of sensory experience. It’s grounding and real.”
Art therapy is another modality used regularly, particularly in group settings like the Girls Empowerment Group. “We use art to help kids build confidence and process emotions,” says Cohen. “It’s especially helpful for those who have trouble expressing themselves verbally.”
What gives Cohen the most hope for the future?
“That parents want help,” she says. “They come here seeking support, connection, and guidance. That tells me people are beginning to understand how important emotional work is and that healing is a process we don’t have to face alone.”
