By Nicole Nagy

I was a prisoner inside my own body.

Like many people, I struggle with anxiety and depression, which started when I was a teenager. Somehow I had the will power to document my journey from hospitalizations, suicide attempts, brain surgery and just navigating life. The rest is history inside a book I wrote called Creative Mind: Diary of Teenage Mental Illness.

One of the issues I chronicle in my book is the challenge of finding a psychiatrist that has openings, or is on your insurance, or is available to see you within a reasonable amount of time. This is a national problem, as well as a personal one. (Editor’s note: click here to read more about the issue of timely and affordable access to treatment for mental illness.)

Not long ago, I found myself once again without a doctor to treat my depression—or in this case a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PNP), whom I had last seen in June. When I went to refill my prescription, the pharmacy informed me that they could not reach anyone from the PNP’s office. When I tried to call her, I expected to at least speak with the secretary, but I couldn’t reach anyone. The next day I called again. Still no answer.  I left a message stating I needed my medication refilled but my call wasn’t returned.

Luckily my neurologist had the prescription refilled for me and I was able to pick up my medication, but for so many people, this can be a truly devastating situation. 

With my medication taken care of for the time being, I was good for a while. I had some wonderful changes in my life: I got married, returned from my honeymoon and enjoyed the summer.  I had nothing to worry about—or so I thought. With the summer coming to an end, work became busier and I returned to school. It was stressful, but I was able to handle the stress.

I didn’t see the dip that was coming.

A “dip” is what my mom and I call it when I go into a deep depression, and unfortunately, I started to dip. Could this have been due to an extra work load and anxiety from the anticipation of school? Whatever the reasons, I decided that I needed to make an appointment with my PNP. It was the end of July; I was making calls to her office every day. One day I even took a drive to her office. The office was shared by other practitioners, but my PNP and her secretary were nowhere in sight. 

I heard another worker in the office; I rattled my car keys to get somebody’s attention, but got no acknowledgment. I resorted to loud, obnoxious coughing, which finally did the trick. A counselor came out of her office and asked me what I needed. I explained my situation and to my surprise the PNP’s absence was due to a hospital stay. Additionally, her secretary just returned from vacation and I had just missed her. 

With all of these complications and uncertainties, I decided to search for an alternative to my PNP, so I researched various doctors and made some phone calls. 

Finding a specialist shouldn’t be this difficult. It should require making a phone call, making sure they accept your insurance, and booking an appointment. Simple, right? Not the case. I quit after four phone calls. 

The offices I called did not accept insurance, which is common. There are so many people listed on Psychology Today’s website, but almost none of them take insurance. My mom and I accepted that, for now, insurance did not matter—until I found out that an evaluation was $500!

The good news is that I am doing well right now, and I can get my medication through my neurologist, but not everyone has that option. Although the journey is rough sometimes, I urge people not to quit seeking help. It’s important to remember that every day is another opportunity for a great day.

I will continue to write my story and help others along the way.

Bio: Guest blogger Nicole Nagy is a social worker and author of Creative Mind: Diary of Teenage Mental Illness, available at amazon.com. 

Finding Help

If your child or teen needs help with anxiety, depression or any other mental health issue, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. We take most insurance plans, and we never turn anyone away for inability to pay.