The reprehensible act that wound up getting Deputy-School Resource Officer Ben Fields fired from the police department.Several weeks ago I read three letters to the editor in another newspaper that focused on the importance of classroom discipline and respect for authority, and I have not been able to get the incident out of my mind. The letters were written with regard to the high school girl in Spring Valley, SC who was thrown around like a rag doll and body-slammed by power-lifting Deputy-School Resource Officer Ben Fields. Her crime? Refusing to turn over her cell phone. The incident was captured on two cell phone videos.
Here’s how the violent arrest was described by CNN:
“The videos show the officer standing over a student, seated at her desk. He puts his arm near her neck, then yanks her backward. The desk tips over and the student crashes onto the floor. The uniformed officer doesn’t let go, sharply tugging the student toward the front of the classroom. She flies out of her desk and slides several feet across the floor.”
Although the letter writers were critical of the deputy’s actions, there was not a scintilla of sympathy for the victim expressed in their reflections or, seemingly, any wish to know or even wonder about her back story.
Maybe they didn’t know that her grandmother had become her caregiver for years because her own mother had lost custody of her due to criminal activity. Perhaps they were not aware that her grandmother died a week before the classroom incident. Or, that her cell phone was her only personal property, a comforting transitional object.
This information is sourced but isn’t “reportable” in the news because of her age and status in foster care. If the media “outs” her mother and grandmother she becomes identifiable. But surely the school must have known. And if they didn’t, they are negligent.
Did they do anything to comfort the grieving girl or just call the school resource officer to discipline her and bend to their authority? Why didn’t they call the guidance counselor or school social worker instead of a law enforcement officer? Did he know she was grieving? Did school authorities tell him? Would it have made any difference?
CNN also reported the following: “Curtis Lavarello, one of more than 46,000 people employed full time as school resource officers [across the country], has seen this kind of scenario ‘played out hundreds of times, … and it’s one that can be handled so simply.’ But he can’t explain why this one was handled as it was. ‘We saw a pretty routine discipline issue become a criminal issue in just a matter of minutes,’ said Lavarello, head of the School Safety Advocacy Council. ‘It escalated needlessly’.”
Discipline and respect for authority are completely beside the point in this case. Those issues are for another discussion. What this teenage girl who was grieving needed was some empathy and TLC and not physical abuse by school personnel and condemnation by judgmental outsiders. Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org. The views expressed in this column are not necessarily those of the publisher or Anton Media Group.
Even though the chill of autumn is well upon us, it’s always a great time to enjoy the outdoors—and it’s also important for a youth’s development to keep their connection to our natural world.
With teens so immersed in texting and video games and other tech-focusedpursuits, they often lose both the connection to each other and to the world around them. That’s why North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center designed our Wilderness Respite Program, which provides a unique opportunity for at-risk adolescents to participate in nature activities that foster individual growth, leadership skills, self-esteem and friendships while also promoting environmental stewardship.
Following is a “slice of life” from the program:
During one of the planning meetings for an upcoming hike, a few of the boys tried to take control of the situation by dominating the other group members through physical posturingand verbal banter. That all changed once the teens drove to the state park and departed from the van. We found ourselves immersed in the forest, with no pavement, stores, traffic lights or any of the usual trappings of the home neighborhood—the kind of pure, natural environment many of the teens had rarely if ever experienced.
To our surprise, the boys did not volunteer to lead the way. Instead, they followed the girls, who became models of leadership. Little by little, all of the teens learned to work together, decoding the trail markers located on trees and rocks. Relying on their growing awareness of themselves and the direction of the staff, the teens gradually learned to hike at a controlled, measured pace, rather than starting out in a sprint and tiring as the day wore on. Although this was emphasized during preparation meetings, it was in the “doing” that this learning was integrated by the hikers, who soon learned how easy it was to get worn out.
The hike was a challenging one, lengthy and with rough terrain. It was an experience most of the teens felt was beyond their capabilities, but once they realized they could overcome these perceived limitations, they felt exhilarated. They also developed a noticeable respect, admiration and affection for each other. Tired and done-in, the group gathered around some rocks, leaning on one another for support, warmth and belonging.
Self-discovery took another turn on a canoeing trip by the same group. The teens were faced with strong winds and an unfriendly current as they attempted to learn basic canoeing skills on Long Island Sound. All of the teens experienced a great deal of frustration, disappointment and anger as they struggled in teams to control the direction and progress of their canoes. They learned that the elements and obstacles proved too formidable on that day for us to reach our destination, when after three hours of tiresome paddling, we needed to turn around and paddle back to our starting point, rather than continue to our original destination six miles away.
But the trip wasn’t by any means a failure, because learning how to handle disappointment is just as valuable as experiencing success. The group learned that when the challenges of the wilderness became tiring and weather conditions on the water became burdensome and oppressive, they had to reach inside themselves to summon up additional strength to overcome frustration, anger and fear. So, even though the trip had more than its share of disappointments, the teens were able to carry over the feeling that they could handle it when things don’t go smoothly.
These wilderness outings to excursions on both land and sea were successful because they all serve to prepare the teens for unknown challenges ahead.
For more information about the Wilderness Respite Program, contact Director Bruce Kaufstein at 516-626-1971, ext. 316.
Bio: Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
It wasn’t necessary for the slaughter of innocents at Sandy Hook to validate that there is evil in the world. But it did affirm that if the massacre of six-year-olds isn’t off limits, then nothing is. Sadly, we are reminded of this again after the senseless killings at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, OR on Oct. 1.
As after Sandy Hook, mental health experts offered tips to speechless parents about how to soothe their children. Their advice: reassure safety, limit media exposure, offer distractions to prevent obsessive worry, watch for angry outbursts and depression and if symptoms persist, seek professional help.
I imagine if parents speak to their children from their guts instead of their heads and hearts, they’d say, “It’s a cruel world, evil is everywhere, watch your back and don’t trust anyone.”
Since Sandy Hook, there have been 142 school shootings. After some time passes, Umpqua Community College will become another tombstone in our collective psyche, alongside Columbine, Virginia Tech and many more.
The two major talking points will continue to be preventing gun violence and promoting mental health. On gun violence, the discussion is about maintaining the right to bear arms and taking steps to keep certain guns out of uncertain hands.
The gun lobby is formidable. On the other hand, it seems that children don’t have a voice until they are in the ground. Children die, grieving parents become tireless advocates and laws are passed named after their deceased children.
Yet, although the Sandy Hook tragedy ignited a national discussion on mental health, not much has changed. People with mental health problems often feel shame and suffer in silence, while major metropolitan newspapers exploit and discredit people suffering with mental illnesses with malicious name-calling that reinforces fear, mistrust and stigma.
Many people might be surprised by the fact that most violent acts are not committed by persons with mental illness. In fact, people with mental illness are disproportionately the victims of violence. New gun laws require that the names of individuals with severe mental illness who are designated as dangerous be recorded in a national database. Whether this will improve public safety or generate a witch hunt that further stigmatizes the mentally ill remains to be seen. In any case, what it doesn’t do is address the problem of better access to quality mental healthcare that takes into account an individual’s needs and social circumstances in a holistic manner.
Congressman Tim Murphy (R-PA)
According to a subcommittee on mental health chaired by U.S. Representative Tim Murphy, 75 percent of all serious mental illness occurs before the age of 24 and 50 percent before the age of 14. Yet, only one out of five children who have emotional disturbances receives treatment from a mental health specialist.
Early screening by schools and pediatricians is a promising development. But beyond screening, many states only assure continued access to mental healthcare to children and families with Medicaid coverage, which leaves a significant number of children and adults in the lurch. The government throws the underinsured middle class and working poor overboard with no life preserver.
And the health insurance industry is no better. Most private health insurers pay substandard rates that community-based agencies can no longer afford to accept. To add insult to injury, profit-driven insurance authorization denials kill people. For example, in 2001 Timmy O’Clair, a 12-year-old from upstate New York, committed suicide after his parents were unable to obtain mental health treatment for him due to health-insurance coverage limits.
Timmy’s death was the impetus for the passage of Timothy’s Law, which extended insurance coverage for mental health treatment in New York. Although the Affordable Care Act extends federal parity protections, profit-driven insurance companies have a very long way to go to meet their mandate for adequate networks of care. When they don’t meet the mandate, we must expose them and fight to have their licenses revoked.
Although this is a story about a school in rural Roseburg, OR, as it was in Sandy Hook a blink of an eye ago, it’s really a story about the thousands of children that community-based mental health agencies guide safely to shore every year, offering them the chance to see a brighter day. To do this we need to overcome stigma and fight for funding that allows for ready access to quality mental healthcare.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visitwww.northshorechildguidance.org.
In one week in September, soon after we commemorated the 14th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attack on our country, there were three widely publicized stories that revealed the ugliness of post-9/11 America.
At a town hall meeting in New Hampshire, Republican campaign front-runner Donald Trump was questioned by a man who said, “We’ve got a problem in this country; it’s called Muslims. You know our current president is one. You know he’s not even an American.” Obviously, the questioner felt comfortable asking this question of Mr. Trump, whose rhetoric about immigrants has been, to put it mildly, less than kind.
Mr. Trump tried to laugh it off. But instead of correcting the audience member’s false assertion about President Obama or challenging his bigoted smear of Muslims, he just let it stand.
Dr. Ben Carson
Shortly thereafter, Dr. Ben Carson, running close behind Mr. Trump in the campaign, asserted onMeet the Press that he would not be comfortable with a Muslim as President of the United States.
Just prior to these ugly interchanges, Ahmed Mohamed, a Muslim boy living in Irving, TX, was arrested for bringing a homemade clock to school. A teacher who thought it was a bomb reported Ahmed, a ninth grader, to the police, who then arrested him.
President Obama invited Ahmed to the White House, telling him, “Cool clock, Ahmed. Want to bring it to the White House? We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It’s what makes America great.”
Although these stories were well-publicized, they represent only the tip of the iceberg in post-9/11 America. In recent years I had an encounter that is probably more typical than you’d expect.
During a roundtable group forum on immigration and youth held at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Roslyn Heights headquarters, a 12-year-old boy named Muhammad, who was listening intently to others tell personal stories about leaving their homelands and struggling to fit in after arriving in the U.S., decided to speak up.
With a trembling voice, Muhammad revealed that there were kids in school who taunted him. “They’ve been calling me ‘terrorist’ for years because of my name.” Muhammad is an Arabic name that means praiseworthy. But, instead of feeling proud, Muhammad felt like an outcast.
Muhammad sat slumped in his chair and spoke softly and guardedly, but clearly and eloquently, and he was heard. By the end of the day he had received so much support from the group for having the courage to speak out that he was beaming.
During the lunch break I approached him to ask him how he was doing. He said, “Everybody is telling me that I talk good. I didn’t know that I could talk so good. Nobody ever told me that before.” Muhammad left the meeting feeling praiseworthy, a feeling befitting his name—a name he was given at birth that he should feel proud to have.
Sadly, stories of racism and hatred against Muslims are not rare—not surprising given the recent example of Ahmed Mohamed’s arrest for his innocent work on a school project. I recall that shortly after 9/11 one Muslim mother who came to us for help revealed that she dyed her children’s hair to a lighter color so that they wouldn’t be viewed as “kin of terrorists.” Those are the lengths that one mother felt were necessary to protect her children and they display a sad commentary on our culture.
As we remember the thousands who were lost on 9/11, along with other acts of terrorism, we should not lose sight of the fact that profiling people of Middle Eastern descent as terrorists or as sympathetic to terrorists must be confronted. Such widespread profiling is detrimental and devastating to thousands of innocent children and their families, many of whom were not even born until after Sept. 11, 2001. It’s time to let our voices be heard and, unlike Mr. Trump, take a stand against bias when we hear it.
When the staff at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center noticed a trend of first–generation Latina teens coming to the center with depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts, they came up with a program that has been an enormous success: The Latina Girls Project, which uses not only individual, group and family therapy, but also organizes monthly outings, supported by a generous grant from the John and Janet Kornreich Charitable Foundation, to show the girls the world outside of their communities and provide them with hope for their future.
Many of the outings are designed to expose the girls to their heritage and to celebrate Hispanic culture. On one recent trip, the girls attended a performance by Segunda Quimbamba, a Jersey City-based percussion and dance ensemble that performs authentic bomba and plena, the drum music of Puerto Rico. The music was uplifting and joyful, and the girls were instantly drawn to the rhythmic expressions of the group, which features drums, wind instruments, guitarists, vocalists and dancers performing Latino songs. The musicians provided the girls with some interesting and important historical information—but the most important and impactful part of the experience was when the performers invited the teens to dance and drum. To watch as some of the most shy and withdrawn girls bravely and excitedly joined the group onstage was inspiring beyond words. The trip revealed how music and dance are terrific therapeutic tools which help teens heal by encouraging self-expression and self-awareness, and it also exposed the teens to positive messages about Hispanic culture, making them feel the richness of their heritage.
For another cultural event, the guidance center staff took 18 teens to see a play called La Gringa at the Repertorio Español in Manhattan. For most of the girls, it was their first exposure to a Manhattan theater. The play was an excellent choice for this age group due to their ability to identify with the protagonist. La Gringa depicts the struggles of a young Latina woman whose parents are Puerto Rican but who is born and raised in New York City. She visits her parents’ homeland as a young adult who is seeking out her cultural identity. She immediately falls in love with her country of origin, but is met with the reality that she is neither a “native” Puerto Rican nor a North “Americana,” as family members label her. The play uses humor and sensitivity to deal with the cultural conflicts related to the different values and their impact on relationships within their families. The girls especially enjoyed how the protagonist is able to assert herself and seek out her individualism.
A group from the Latina Girls Project at the Statue of Liberty in summer 2014.
Another trip this year was a spectacular evening at the Metropolitan Museum of Art to celebrate Women’s History Month. The teens, who were invited by the Met’s Multicultural Audience Development Initiative’s Advisory Committee, had never experienced such an elegant affair and the guidance center staff members who chaperoned the trip were so proud of the girls’ ability to conduct themselves with grace and maturity as they interacted with accomplished women of diverse social, racial and educational backgrounds. The teens confidently introduced themselves as young women from Long Island looking to expand their opportunities in their future careers. It impressed the girls so much that a few of them are saying that they’re now looking into college, their next milestone in life.
On Aug. 18, Rosie O’Donnell took to social media to ask her followers to help her find her 17-year-old daughter Chelsea, who had run away from home the week before. O’Donnell posted an alert on her website and Twitter account stating that Chelsea hadn’t been seen since Aug. 11.
O’Donnell also posted that her daughter had stopped taking her medication and “was in need of medical attention.” Her spokesperson added that “Chelsea, like millions of people, lives with mental illness. It has been a difficult road for Chelsea and her family and they just want her back safe.”
Thankfully, Chelsea was found unharmed. Apparently, alerts from her peers and the pinging on her cell phone led police to her location. O’Donnell tweeted her thanks, telling her followers, “Chelsea has been found and is safe in police custody—thank u all for the help and light #missingchildren.”
While no one outside of O’Donnell’s family knows the circumstances that led Chelsea to run away, one possible cause is clear. A quick search on social media revealed that there is no shortage of gossip about Chelsea’s family life, sarcasm about O’Donnell’s fitness as a mother, black humor suggesting she was kidnapped by Donald Trump and speculation about the missing girl’s mental status. There were also shaming commentaries as to how her mother’s impending divorce may have contributed to her daughter’s distress.
It’s more than likely that Chelsea O’Donnell had easy access to all of this. One can only imagine how a young person in turmoil was able to make sense out of it, and how much of the onslaught of cyberbullying against her family contributed to her demoralization before she made the dangerous choice to head to the home of a stranger, a 25-year-old who had a history of criminal offenses whom Chelsea met on an online dating app called Tinder.
All media—conventional and social—can be invaluable in helping to track down a missing child; that is a blessing. Almost anything in the way of messaging that might lead to the recovery of a runaway child is welcome.
But where’s the dividing line between offering assistance and adding to the emotional damage? What is the benefit in publicly revealing, among a population (that’s us, folks) that remains primitive in their understanding and acceptance of mental illness, that the runaway child has a history of mental health problems? While there should be no shame in having a mental illness, any more than with any other illness like diabetes, we still live in a culture that stigmatizes those who face these challenges. This story, and the subsequent cyberattacks joking about the condition, make that more clear than ever before.
Traditional media in recent decades has skewed more and more in the direction of sensationalism. It’s not unheard of for certain media outlets to use expressions such as “crazy” or “loony” to refer to those with mental illness; and social media, a 24-7 town meeting with minimal monitoring, is a runaway train that assumes more of the characteristics of chaos than order. The very tools we now have at our disposal that can be instrumental in the recovery of a missing child can also administer damage that the public ignores in the celebratory aftermath of the child’s recovery.
In the O’Donnell case, it seems likely that the family made a decision to discuss Chelsea’s mental health issues to help find their child, and one cannot imagine a more compelling reason to “go public” with her condition. But it’s also likely that, given the ignorance that is so widespread regarding mental illness, it wasn’t an easy decision for them to make.
If this incident sheds some light and sparks some intelligent discussions about media sensationalism, the role of social media both for good and ill, and the stigma surrounding mental illness, then that will at least result in some positive outcomes from what has been a sad, personal family story made public.
Helping others is always in fashion, and that’s why Entrée Boutique in Port Washington is hosting a special shopping weekend to benefit The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court, a program of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
The kick-off event will be on Thursday, October 8 from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. with wine and light refreshments at Entrée Boutique, located at 11 Main Street in Port Washington, one of Long Island’s most charming Gold Coast villages. Weekend shopping hours are Friday and Saturday, October 9 and 10 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Sunday, October 11 from noon to 5 p.m.
The Children’s Center provides a safe and enriching environment for children ages 6 months to 12 years on-site at the Nassau County Family Court while parents are involved in court business.
About Entrée Boutique:
Entrée Boutique is a go-to shopping destination filled with the most current young designers and must-have accessories, all thoughtfully curated with the chic, modern woman in mind. Noted in Long Island Newsday as having the best customer service, Entrée’s owners are committed to staying ahead of the fashion curve and providing an individualized shopping experience.
Have you ever sought mental health care for your child? What about care for a drug addiction? Have you made calls to multiple providers on your health insurer’s “list” and had the door slammed repeatedly in your face? Or were you fortunate enough to make a good connection and then unceremoniously have the rug pulled out from under you, with your insurer denying continued care?
Welcome to the club.
If you have a child with a mental health or addiction problem, you know how hard it is to make that first phone call. A parent with a child with cancer doesn’t hesitate to call for help. But when mental health is the problem, it can take weeks, months or even years because of the crippling effect of stigma. But what about the two situations I described above: You make that call, but you are denied continued care or you’re denied access to care in the first place?
The federal parity law, formerly known as the Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act, is designed to prevent group health plans and health insurance companies from imposing less favorable benefits than they do for other medical conditions. The law is supposed to guarantee that people with mental illnesses have the same access to treatment as patients with diseases like diabetes, but some insurers have continued to limit treatment in subtle ways.
According to a recent report by NPR, since 2010, the United States Department of Labor, which is the main federal agency in charge of parity, has found 140 instances in which a patient’s parity rights were violated. Although all those issues were resolved voluntarily, no insurer has been fined and none of the results are public.
Regarding gaining access to care in the first place, network adequacy refers to a health plan’s ability to deliver the benefits promised by providing reasonable access to a sufficient number of in-network primary care and specialty physicians, as well as all health care services included under the terms of the contract. The reality is that, because private insurers pay substandard rates as compared to Medicaid, middle class families are finding it harder and harder to find providers to help their children. They look at their insurer’s list of providers, make phone calls and are repeatedly told, I’m sorry, I don’t accept your insurance. The lists are inadequate, outdated or just plain falsehoods.
On July 22, 2015, Assemblyman Todd Kaminsky authored a letter to the New York State Department of Financial Services (DFS) to express deep concern about the lack of commercial insurance coverage for mental health services for middle class families on Long Island. He requested that DFS launch an investigation to determine the scope of this pressing problem.
Assemblyman Kaminsky said, “After hearing from numerous constituents and closely studying this issue, it is clear that commercial insurance companies do not have adequate mental health service networks for hard-working families. This lack of access to care is alarming, and I hope DFS will immediately respond by commencing a thorough study of this issue.”
While Medicaid covers comprehensive mental and behavioral health services, commercial insurance frequently does not provide coverage, or if they do, the rates are miniscule compared with the cost of treatment. The reality today is that fewer community-based mental health clinics are accepting privately insured clients who earn too much to qualify for Medicaid, which leaves these families with nowhere to turn for affordable care. They have few options to access care for their children, even those experiencing life-threatening crisis situations.
By ignoring the enforcement of the federal parity law, the majority of representatives in government are turning their backs on the millions of Americans who are in need of essential mental health care services. We cannot trust insurance companies, whose eye is on their bottom lines, to do the right thing. It’s no exaggeration to say that lives have been and will continue to be lost unless we pressure our politicians to make this a top priority.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center was the beneficiary of 5% Day at Whole Foods Market in Manhasset on June 24. Whole Foods made a donation of more than $5,000 to support the many programs and services of the organization, the leading children’s mental health agency on Long Island.
Through Community Giving Days (otherwise known as 5% Days), Whole Foods Market supports the local causes that are important to their shoppers and neighbors. Five percent of one day’s net sales is donated to a local nonprofit or educational organization. North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center was the selected charity for the most recent Community Giving Day in Manhasset.
Every year, it is more fun and more and more exciting and so for the fifth year in a row, the theme of the Guidance Center’s annual gala will be Dancing With Our Stars. This year’s event will take place on November 6 at the Garden City Hotel.
This year’s line-up is incredible:
Honoree Sunny Hostin, Legal Analyst at CNN;Emcee Len Berman, Sports Announcer/Author; Live Auctioneer Bernadette Castro; and six of Long Island’s movers and shakers as the Dancing Stars: Frank Castagna, Castagna Realty;Charles Chan, Harvest International; Wayne Grossé, Bethpage Federal Credit Union; Jo-Ellen Hazan, Past President, the Guidance Center; Tracey Kupferberg, Daniel Gale Sotheby’s International Realty; and Sandra Schoenbart, Sandra K., Inc. Sales/Marketing.
The evening’s co-chairs are Chris & Jack Bransfield and Andrea & Michael Leeds.
Guests will enjoy a wonderful evening of dinner and dancing to a live band, with a raffle, silent and live auctions. All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about becoming a sponsor or an underwriter, placing a journal ad, or purchasing tickets, please visit www.northshorechildguidance.org/events/html, call 516 626-1971 ext. 337 or email: development@northshorchildguidance.org
More than 65 women enjoyed a great night of spin, aerobics and yoga followed by a host of activities: blowouts, manicures, makeup tips and facials, plus a raffle and refreshments.
The Event raised $2,500 to support the many programs of the Guidance Center. The evening was also the kick-off for a donation drive for the Guidance Center’s Good Beginnings for Babies program, which works with pregnant and parenting teens to promote healthier pregnancies, healthier babies and happier relationships between parent and child.
“The event is a fun way to gather new friends and to create awareness of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center,” said Linda Ugenti, a member of the Guidance Center Board of Directors and Business Advisory Council. “Those who attended are asking us to continue our Ladies Night Out, and we are looking forward to making the event even bigger next year!”
Many thanks to the Guidance Center’s Business Advisory Council, Equinox of Roslyn, Lord & Taylor Manhasset, Wat Chu Wan Wonton, Princess Nails & Spa and Commiso Salon.
The church shootings of nine black parishioners in Charleston, SC, at the hands of 21-year old Dylann Roof, who has confessed to the crime, sends a sobering message to all those involved with adolescents. Although cries of “hate crime” ring out in this instance—and no doubt are true—we need to recognize that issues surrounding diversity and systemic racism are an issue for every teenager and young adult here on Long Island.
Those of us who have the privilege to work with youth in schools, community centers and other arenas face the unique challenge of helping them address diversity and racism openly and honestly. Although discussions about race during the last two presidential campaigns gave a number of people a chance to process their feelings, it doesn’t appear that we have come very far.
An open, nonjudgmental group experience can provide adolescents with a unique opportunity to explore the typically taboo areas of race and ethnicity, exposing deeply ingrained or loosely-formed beliefs and influencing their perceptions and behaviors in the world outside of the group.
When stories like the church shootings and the deaths of unarmed black citizens at the hands of the police dominate the media, young people’s tendency toward stereotyping and polarizing is too often reinforced. Within group settings, we can encourage discussion about ethnic identity, bias, prejudice and intergroup relations as a normal part of adolescent development. We can help young people to tune in to ethnically and racially-charged local, national and international events that affect them.
I vividly recall a meeting I had with a group of local teenagers in the immediate aftermath of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, CO. The group talked about their feelings regarding profiling and stepped-up security in schools and in the community. One group member, Carlos, recalled an incident when he was stopped by a police officer who asked to check his arms. “He was looking for gang tattoos. He thought I was MS-13,” Carlos explained as he slowly pulled his shirtsleeve back across his forearm, as if back in the moment. “I told the cop, ‘First of all, I’m Salvadorian and proud of it. Second, I’m not a gangbanger.’ ”
Carlos continued, “A week later, I saw the same cop at my restaurant job, where I work as a maître d’ and wear a tuxedo. He looked me over and seemed really confused. I smiled and said to him, ‘See, I’m the same person.’”
A healthy exchange of ideas and opinions about controversial subjects in a safe environment enables young people to test out their beliefs and attitudes, to practice listening to the views of others, to respectfully express differences and to discover common ground.
By advancing an understanding of differences, we can reach for commonalties experienced among young people across cultures to open pathways for relating among different ethnic groups.
Presently, we all face the sad possibility of seeing a dramatic erosion of empathy and loss of community as a result of the struggle for economic survival. We cannot afford to allow the development of empathy for others to slip away from our youth in the process. As adults, we must do all that we can to help young people confront the issues surrounding diversity openly, honestly and safely. Our survival and humanity depend upon it.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
On June 15, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted the annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic at The Creek in Locust Valley. The Event raised more than $230,000 to support the programs and services of the Guidance Center.
This year’s outstanding honorees were Steven Dubb of The Beechwood Organization and Michael Duffy of Duffy & Duffy PLLC. Jack Bransfield (Bethpage Federal Credit Union), Michael Mondiello (Joseph Gunnar & Co., LLC) and Michael Schnepper (Rivkin Radler LLP) co-chaired the event. Christopher Robbins of Robbins Wolfe Eventeurs served as the auctioneer.
Participants enjoyed a great day of golf and tennis followed by a steak & lobster dinner reception.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the pre-eminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, leading the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy.
The Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) who are troubled, in trouble or causing trouble. Our highly qualified team of caring psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, drug and alcohol counselors, mental health counselors, vocational rehabilitation counselors and family advocates work with children and their families to address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; school refusal; bullying; sexual abuse; teen pregnancy; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. We offer outpatient mental health counseling and teen drug abuse and prevention services.
For more than 60 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay.
On June 10, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted its 62ndt Annual Meeting at The Carltun at Eisenhower Park.
The following awards were presented: Distinguished Friends Award – Chris and Jack Bransfield; Media Award – Laura Figueroa; 25 Years of Distinguished Service – Joan Vitiello; Staff Awards – Cindy Ambrose and Brian Eck.
Nancy Lane was sworn in as the President of the Board of Directors for a two year term and Charles Chan of Harvest International was named as a member of the Board.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the pre-eminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, leading the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy.
The Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) who are troubled, in trouble or causing trouble. Our highly qualified team of caring psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, drug and alcohol counselors, mental health counselors, vocational rehabilitation counselors and family advocates work with children and their families to address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; school refusal; bullying; sexual abuse; teen pregnancy; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. We offer outpatient mental health counseling and teen drug abuse and prevention services.
For more than 60 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay.
As parents, we naturally want to keep our children safe. But it’s important to remember that, while it’s a parent’s job to protect, it’s a child’s job to explore. But for mothers and fathers who came to the United States from countries in Central and South America that are rife with war, gang violence and poverty, allowing their children—and especially their daughters—to explore the world around them can be terrifying.
Regardless of their origins, it’s natural for all teens to want to be accepted by their peers and feel like they are part of American culture, but it’s understandable that the parents of first-generation Latinas are extremely overprotective. Many immigrated to America because they wanted their families to be safe, which results in a tendency to continually hover over their daughters. Many of them won’t let the girls participate in typical teen activities, such as sleepovers, dating or trips to the mall, which makes the girls feel trapped and isolated.
Even if the teens are allowed to go out with friends, they are required to have a chaperone, such as a parent or brother. In addition, they are often relegated to gender-biased roles, required to cook, clean and take care of their siblings, while their brothers are treated, as one girl said, “like princes.”
The result of these conflicts: An increasingly large number of teenage Latinas were coming to North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center with depression, self-harming behaviors and suicidal thoughts. Some had even attempted suicide.
Determined to help these girls and their families, Associate Executive Director Regina Barros-Rivera gathered a team of bilingual, multicultural counselors from the Guidance Center and created the Latina Girls Project, an innovative program that employs counseling, monthly outings and other activities designed to tackle issues such as hopelessness, poor self-esteem and school refusal (a disorder of a child who refuses to attend school or has problems staying in school).
Individual, group and family therapy are integral pieces of the program. Through therapy, the girls develop trust, learn healthy ways to deal with stress and depression and find better ways to communicate with their parents.
But the monthly outings are also a very important element of the Latina Girls Project. During one trip to Manhattan, the girls took part in a workshop led by female artists, dancers and poets, all accomplished and confident Latina women. This was a huge adventure for the teens, because they were so often stuck in their home communities—and also stuck in feelings of low self-esteem, shame and self-consciousness.
At first, the girls couldn’t say anything positive about themselves; they had no access to such self-affirming feelings. But they gradually spread their wings, bit by bit, and took part in art, dance and writing. The teens were uplifted by witnessing the confidence and compassion of these powerful role models, who told the girls to look in the mirror and see their own strength and beauty.
This workshop, along with other trips to historical sites, artistic venues and nature settings, help the girls shift from feelings of helplessness to hopefulness. Over time, they find their voices and discover the inner strengths that had eluded them.
By participating in family therapy and also witnessing the transformation their daughters experience, the girls’ parents become more compassionate and understand that they need to let their teens separate in healthy, age-appropriate ways. As one girl put it, “My parents learned that I just wanted them to be there for me and listen. They learned that it doesn’t help to question why I feel the way I do but to accept it and support me.”
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit ww.northshorechildguidance.org.
Finally, what seemed like the longest winter in memory is over. I’m grateful to spend time soaking up the sun, walking and biking along the boardwalk in my Long Beach neighborhood.
But during my excursions, it saddens me to see how many young people are isolated and clueless about the beauty of the world surrounding them. Most are staring down at their phones as they text or scroll through their Instagram feeds.
For other kids, their tech device of choice doesn’t even make it out of the house. It can be a perfect spring day and these youngsters prefer to stay indoors, playing video games or glued to some other electronic device. Regardless of their protestations otherwise, a number of these children and teens are not only lonely and miserable, they’re also at risk of a host of problems.
Here are just a few: We all know that obesity is an epidemic in our culture, and a big reason is that our kids’ addiction to gadgets means they’re not outside running around and playing. When kids spend all their time on Facebook instead of face-to-face with their peers, they feel isolated and alone. Research suggests that nature-deprived kids are prone to anxiety and depression.
Here at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we’ve seen firsthand how children blossom when they “get back to the garden.” At our Roslyn Heights headquarters, groups of children and teens water, seed and weed our organic bed, and they are filled with joy when they see the vegetables grow. Moreover, since much of the produce they harvest is donated to local food pantries, they experience the pride that comes from helping others.
Through their work in the garden, kids who were shy and insecure developed self-confidence and made new friends. They learned leadership and team-building skills. Tending the garden and watching it grow intensified their sense of wonder and curiosity.
Gardening helps kids connect to the earth, to each other and, yes, even to their parents. Young children will be in awe as you show them the fruits (and vegetables) of your joint labor. If your teens are reluctant to work with you, expose them to tools that they can begin to master—and don’t be surprised if they end up joining you in the garden.
Another plus: Gardeners achieve a natural state of calm and focus called “mindfulness.” Though people often associate it with meditation, mindfulness doesn’t require hours of prayerful silence or chanting mantras. Mindfulness at its core is about staying in the present, moment by moment, to feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations and the surrounding environment.
Mindfulness is an inherent part of the experience of gardening; it gives kids new ground to stand on, both literally and figuratively, embracing their senses of sight, smell, sound, touch and taste. Mindfulness in nature calms the brain, allowing for reflection and healing and it’s also great for the body.
If gardening isn’t up your alley, not to worry. Being outdoors—whether hiking, biking or swimming—restores the spirit. There’s bound to be an activity your kids will enjoy.
So, whether you are 8 or 80, take advantage of the beautiful weather and find your bliss. It’s right outside your door.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
On April 23, the Guidance Center hosted a fun exciting new event – a luncheon featuring games (mahjong and canasta), vendor boutiques and a powerful engaging keynote speaker.
With more than 175 guests in attendance, the event raised over $50,000 to support the programs and services of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
The keynote speaker was award-winning journalist, Edie Magnus. Ms. Magnus is the Executive Producer of the PBS documentary, Cry for Help, and is currently the Executive Director of Media & Innovation at Mercy College.
Janice Ashley of Signature Bank, Amy Cantor, and Alexis Siegel, all members of the Baord of Directors, co-chaired the luncheon. Sponsors included Nancy Lane, Baker Tilly, RFC Fine, Alexis Siegel, Nanci Roth, Jill Berman, Amy Cantor, Fara Copell, Ruth Ann Drucker, Joan Grant, Andrea Leeds, Nawrocki Smith LLP, North Shore LIJ Health Systems, Raich, Ende and Malter Co. LLP.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the pre-eminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, leading the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy.
The Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) who are troubled, in trouble or causing trouble. Our highly qualified team of caring psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, drug and alcohol counselors, mental health counselors, vocational rehabilitation counselors and family advocates work with children and their families to address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; school refusal; bullying; sexual abuse; teen pregnancy; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. We offer outpatient mental health counseling and teen drug abuse and prevention services.
For more than 60 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay.
On June 15, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will host its annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic at The Creek in Locust Valley. This year’s co-chairs are Jack Bransfield (Bethpage Federal Credit Union), Michael Mondiello (Joseph Gunnar & Co., LLC) and Michael Schnepper (Rivkin Radler LLP).
The honorees are Steven Dubb, The Beechwood Organization and Michael Duffy, Duffy & Duffy PLLC.
The outing will offer morning and afternoon tennis round robins, golf on the incomparable Creek course, and a steak & lobster dinner reception on Long Island Sound.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the pre-eminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, leading the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy.
The Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) who are troubled, in trouble or causing trouble. Our highly qualified team of caring psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, drug and alcohol counselors, mental health counselors, vocational rehabilitation counselors and family advocates work with children and their families to address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; school refusal; bullying; sexual abuse; teen pregnancy; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. We offer outpatient mental health counseling and teen drug abuse and prevention services.
For more than 60 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay.
Members of a Wisconsin middle school basketball team are being lauded as heroes, and rightfully so. When the boys noticed some bullies making fun of one of their cheerleaders—a 14-year-old girl named Desiree who has Down’s Syndrome—they took action, walking over to the bleachers and telling the offenders to cut it out. As one of the boys told reporters, “They were pointing and laughing at her from the stands. It’s not funny to make fun of somebody by the way they look or act.” Another said, “This is not a one-time thing. You always have to stick up for kids that are bullied. It’s the right thing to do.”
Another group in New York City, Teen Pact, has taken steps to combat cyberbullying by producing public service announcements that are being used nationwide. One PSA depicts a boy texting an affectionate message about a classmate. His friends then pass it on and when it goes viral he becomes the target of unrelenting teasing and taunting. The PSA message is: “It’s not funny anymore, don’t be an accidental bully.”
Just how many kids are being tormented, either online, in school or both? Recent studies report some startling statistics:
83 percent of girls and 79 percent of boys report being bullied either in school or online.
75 percent of school shootings have been linked to harassment and bullying against the shooter.
About 160,000 teens skip school every day because they are bullied, and 1 in 10 teens drops out of school due to repeated bullying.
Kids who are bullies as young adults continue the trend of abuse and violence into adulthood. By the age of 30, about 40 percent of boys identified as bullies in middle and high school had been arrested three or more times.
The most frequent targets are kids seen as “different”—gay or transgender youth, those with special needs or who are overweight—but no kid is immune from being a victim.
While bullying isn’t a new phenomenon, cyberspace obliterates any sense of sanctuary that children once found when they were away from school and in their own homes.
One social media app that’s particularly alarming is Yik Yak, which allows users to send out posts—known as “yaks” — that can be seen by anyone within a 1.5-mile radius. What makes it worse than most other social media forums kids are using is the fact that the posters are anonymous. A user can “yak” out anything they want without fear of being identified. Perfectly acceptable posts: “Jane is an ugly cow,” “John is a fag,” and much more that would be unprintable in this newspaper. It’s devastating to imagine the damage this type of abuse can have on a child or teen.
Laws such as the Dignity for All Students Act , which took effect in July 2012, seeks to provide students with a safe and supportive environment free from discrimination, intimidation, taunting, harassment and bullying on school property, buses or at a school function.
The passage of the dignity act provides an opportunity for parents to talk to their children about how to protect themselves from bullying and offers them a context to discuss how to be sensitive to others who are different. This is, of course, providing that parents are able to engage their children in an accepting and nonjudgmental manner that opens communication.
But laws like the dignity act aren’t enough to tackle what is a social problem. No amount of legislation and no penalties for intimidating schoolyard behavior can guarantee that children will be safe at all times whether inside or outside of school.
These laws must be complemented by support at home, pro-social bonds among neighbors and consistent community standards against bullying, bias and harassment, including in cyberspace. Otherwise, the legislation will be little more than a paper tiger, another layer of bureaucracy with limited influence in the real world.
When Nassau residents decided that speed cameras in school zones were unfair, their outrage got the attention of local politicians. The cameras were gone in record time. And when taxpayers told their representatives to keep gambling off the block, the pols backed down, knowing they were waging a losing bet.
So why are our state leaders closing their ears to the pleas of children and families in desperate need of mental health services?
Across Long Island, the agencies that care for the most vulnerable are dropping like flies, victims of a mentality that stigmatizes psychiatric illness and a short-sighted healthcare system more interested in managing costs than managing care. This year alone, FEGS, a $250 million agency, closed after 80 years. Catholic Charities will close its outpatient mental health clinic in Freeport in May. Previous L.I. victims were South Shore Child Guidance, the Family and Children’s Association, Peninsula Counseling Center and Pederson-Krag Center.
The pattern is clear: For decades, big government has cut funding to mental health services across the nation, and the cuts just keep on coming.
Failed state and federal leadership has enabled insurance companies to make it nearly impossible for community-based mental health clinics to survive, unless they reduce the time spent with clients to squeeze in more billable hours; refuse to handle crisis situations that require greater resources; restrict access, taking only patients who have Medicaid, which pays a higher rate than commercial insurers; and/or fire salaried employees and hire per diem staff who have little stake in the agency’s values.
When the “community” is taken out of community-based mental health care, it’s not just semantics. Time-honored practices fall by the wayside. Cultures fall apart. Quality of care crumbles.
Government powerbrokers continue to slash funding for lifesaving programs. Why? Follow the money. Insurance company lobbyists pay them big bucks to turn their backs on those in need.
But politicians also listen when constituents make noise. Isn’t it time we get loud about something as critical as the health and well-being of our children?
Andrew Malekoff is executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, a nonprofit children’s mental health center in Roslyn Heights, NY.
Here is the link to a WBAI radio program – “Behind the News Long Island” – that Guidance Center Associate Executive Director Regina Barros was featured on related to adolescent/Latina suicide.
Increasing numbers of nonprofit mental health clinics on Long Island are closing or being sold to other mental health networks, following years of declines in government funding and a growing demand for services.
In the past four years, at least four clinics have closed in Nassau and Suffolk, including one already closed and one about to close this year. Another four clinics have been acquired by other nonprofits.
The closures have prompted several local social service advocates to ramp up fundraising efforts while lobbying for increases in government aid. They say treatment options are dwindling for low- and middle-income patients who earn too much to qualify for Medicaid.
“There is somewhat of a crisis in the system,” said Jeffrey Steigman, chief administrative officer of the nonprofit Family Service League, of Huntington, which provides counseling services for children and families.
In February, the league acquired the Huntington clinic of Pederson-Krag, a social service agency founded in 1957. But “it’s not just the clinic we took over,” Steigman said. Mental health agencies “throughout the state are transferring their licenses or closing clinics because of the financial burden and the deficits that occur. The fiscal model is broken in certain ways,” he said.
There are 18 licensed nonprofit mental health facilities in Nassau and 48 in Suffolk, according to the State Office of Mental Health Services. The clinics provide services, including family counseling and drug rehabilitation, for low- and middle-income residents who cannot afford private care.
More than 10,000 individuals sought treatment at nonprofit clinics in Nassau last year, according to the county’s Office of Mental Health, Chemical Dependency, and Developmental Disabilities Services.
Suffolk’s Office of Mental Hygiene said it did not have overall figures. But state data show that nearly 4,000 Suffolk adults and 1,200 children enrolled in Medicaid sought mental health services in 2013. In Nassau, there were 3,600 adults and 850 children on Medicaid who received mental health services.
Freeport clinic forced shut
In May, Catholic Charities Outpatient Mental Health Clinic in Freeport, which has treated 550 patients a year, will shutter after more than 50 years in operation. Earlier this year, the 81-year-old nonprofit Federation Employment and Guidance Services, which provided mental health services throughout Long Island, announced it was closing.
The closures come as Peninsula Counseling Center, a Valley Stream nonprofit founded 102 years ago, and three clinics operated by Pederson-Krag were acquired by other nonprofit mental health agencies in recent months, after years of struggling to stay afloat financially.
Laura A. Cassell, CEO of Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Rockville Centre, said the organization decided it no longer could afford to run its Freeport clinic, because of insufficient reimbursement rates and declining government funding to subsidize care. Over the past three years, Catholic Charities had to raise $1.26 million in private donations to keep the Freeport office open, Cassell said.
“While Catholic Charities is blessed with generous donations to support our ministries, we cannot direct such a large portion to just one service site,” Cassell said. “Many other mental health providers were forced to close their doors for the same reason.”
“Unfortunately, with no hope of permanent additional funding to match the real costs of providing quality services in the future and increasing unfunded government regulatory mandates, this painful decision had to be made,” Cassell said.
In a newsletter to area mental health providers last month, Martha A. Carlin, director of the Long Island field office of the state Office of Mental Health, noted that with the closures and acquisitions, the “beginning of 2015 has been challenging for the Long Island region.”
Declining reimbursements
Mental health providers say some of their fiscal strain is due to low reimbursement rates by private insurers.
Under Medicaid, clinics are reimbursed an average of $130 per visit for an adult patient and $137 for a child, according to state figures.
Commercial insurance providers pay from 20 percent to 50 percent less, several local mental health providers said. Officials with the New York Health Plan Association, which represents commercial health insurance providers, said they could not provide data on reimbursement rates because each company negotiates rates with clinics.
The incentive to treat higher-paying Medicaid patients means that some clinics are opting to see fewer patients covered by commercial insurance, said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights, a nonprofit that has about 5,000 clients annually.
Malekoff, who has testified before state lawmakers about the challenges faced by nonprofit mental health providers, said that with fewer clinics accepting privately insured patients, many families who earn too much to qualify for Medicaid are “left with nowhere to turn for affordable community-based outpatient mental health care.”
The closure of one nonprofit clinic often causes a ripple effect among the small group of Long Island nonprofit clinics, where phones are “ringing off the hook,” with queries from displaced patients looking for affordable care, said Jeffrey Friedman, CEO of Central Nassau Guidance Services in Hicksville.
“As a result of the closures, we’ve had an influx of people calling us,” Friedman said. “I think for us the landscape is changing drastically because the reimbursement from insurance companies is not adequate. We’re losing money on that visit.”
Leslie Moran, spokeswoman for the New York Health Plan Association, said each provider negotiates reimbursement rates with clinics, aiming to control costs to keep plan rates down for consumers.
“The reality is, in our health care system, affordability is something we have to keep an eye on,” Moran said.
In 2012, the nonprofit Family & Children’s Association, of Mineola, closed its mental health clinics in Roosevelt and West Hempstead, after years of deficits stemming from services provided to low-income patients.
Jeffrey Reynolds, executive director of the association, said losses at both clinics in 2011 totaled $1.6 million. Keeping them open would have “threatened the livelihood” of other operations, including homeless shelters for seniors and runaways, Reynolds said.
“What happens when you lose these clinics is you’re driving people into chemical dependency, ERs or jails,” he said.
State taking steps to aid LI
State Office of Mental Health spokesman Ben Rosen, to whom Carlin referred questions, said the agency has “taken several steps to help Long Island’s mental health clinics remain fiscally viable.”
Rosen said $60 million has been allocated over the next three years to fiscally distressed clinics statewide, including seven in Nassau and Suffolk. The clinics, which include the former Pederson-Krag clinics, each were assigned “strategic planners” to improve their finances over the next three years, Rosen said.
The agencies acquiring some of the local facilities say the transition is going as seamlessly as possible.
Herrick Lipton, administrative and financial director of New Horizon Counseling Center, said that since taking over Peninsula, the agency has done repair work at the clinic and installed a flat-screen TV in the waiting room. New Horizon, which also runs clinics in Ozone Park, East Elmhurst and the Rockaways, is planning to add Saturday service hours at Peninsula, Lipton said.
“Peninsula was losing money. It didn’t have the ability to invest in repairs . . . they were in dire straits,” Lipton said. “Our goal is to create a sustainable solution for mental health services for Nassau County. In today’s environment, many health care providers are struggling to survive.”
Despite the influence of some distinguished legislators with big hearts, big government has treated community-based mental health organizations with little respect. For example, at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we have not received a net increase in government funding for our outpatient mental health services for more than 30 years.
Mental health agencies are disappearing all around us. In late January, the Federation of Employment and Guidance Services (FEGS), a $250 million, 81-year-old health and human services organization, announced it was closing. Last month, word came out that Catholic Charities is giving up their Freeport mental health clinic. In the last few years, 100-year-old Peninsula Counseling Center in Valley Stream and 57-year-old Pederson-Krag in Huntington gave up their mental health clinics; South Shore Child Guidance was taken over by the Epilepsy Foundation; and Long Island Consultation Center in West Hempstead and Roosevelt Counseling and Resource Center, which operated since 1958, shut their doors. More than likely, others will follow.
A key factor contributing to this tragic trend is a poorly regulated managed health care system that is more interested in managing costs than managing care, paying a substandard rate for critical services that save children’s lives.
To make up the difference in big government’s neglect and the insurance industry’s greed, mental health organizations have relied for decades on the compassion and generosity of community members who support the cause. But, despite the good that they do, these people are more than do-gooders. They are smart and selfish. They’re smart because they know that what community-based mental health centers do is cost-effective, saving tens of millions of taxpayer dollars by keeping troubled kids out of costly institutional settings. They are selfish because they know, as one of them stated, “If your child is not healthy, my child is not safe.”
Beyond these attributes, our supporters are empathetic. They look into the eyes of their own children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews and feel a deep connection to all children. Perhaps my greatest influence in joining the field of human services was observing the impact of the kindness of others during my youth.
The father of a close childhood friend died in the 1950s. My friend was six-years-old, decades before “grief counseling” entered our lexicon. I lost touch with him as we grew older, but when his mother died years later, I sent him a note. My old friend, who is a physician today, wrote back. I saved his letter, and each time I read it, it leaves a lump in my throat. He wrote: “Dear Andy: What a surprise to hear from you! My mom’s death has caused me to spend hours thinking about my childhood. Some of my most fond recollections involve you and your family. Your father was the dad I didn’t have…”
As a child, I observed my parents and other adults in my family carrying out acts of profound kindness and generosity with no fanfare and no expectation of receiving anything in return. I married a woman who came from a similar family, one in which her parents took in their nieces after the death of their mother. Now I have found these people again among our board of directors and community supporters. What they have in common with my family is their empathy.
Government bureaucracies are by definition dispassionate and without empathy. They have rules and regulations. But only in tyrannies do they get to run things. One can only hope that the policies that guide their rules are based in values rooted in the needs of real people.
I know that we cannot rely exclusively on government to take care of us; we must rely on one another. If we allow empathy to slip away under the cover of economic survival, we’re in trouble. The demise of empathy would be the most perilous consequence of the fragile economy.
Let’s take care to preserve empathy. When all else fails, it’s all that we have to maintain a humane society.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
SOCIAL MEDIA CAN BE A HAMMER, a tool that is rigidly used, or PUTTY, a tool that is flexible. TROUBLE IS we never grew up learning how to use this tool. It’s all trial and error. And, so, there are human benefits and casualties. Let’s teach our kids how to reduce the casualties and advance the benefits. Maybe this original poem can be a start.
The reprehensible act that wound up getting Deputy-School Resource Officer Ben Fields fired from the police department.Several weeks ago I read three letters to the editor in another newspaper that focused on the importance of classroom discipline and respect for authority, and I have not been able to get the incident out of my mind. The letters were written with regard to the high school girl in Spring Valley, SC who was thrown around like a rag doll and body-slammed by power-lifting Deputy-School Resource Officer Ben Fields. Her crime? Refusing to turn over her cell phone. The incident was captured on two cell phone videos.
With teens so immersed in texting and video games and other tech-focused
During one of the planning meetings for an upcoming hike, a few of the boys tried to take control of the situation by dominating the other group members through physical posturingand verbal banter. That all changed once the teens drove to the state park and departed from the van. We found ourselves immersed in the forest, with no pavement, stores, traffic lights or any of the usual trappings of the home neighborhood—the kind of pure, natural environment many of the teens had rarely if ever experienced.
The hike was a challenging one, lengthy and with rough terrain. It was an experience most of the teens felt was beyond their capabilities, but once they realized they could overcome these perceived limitations, they felt exhilarated. They also developed a noticeable respect, admiration and affection for each other. Tired and done-in, the group gathered around some rocks, leaning on one another for support, warmth and belonging.
But the trip wasn’t by any means a failure, because learning how to handle disappointment is just as valuable as experiencing success. The group learned that when the challenges of the wilderness became tiring and weather conditions on the water became burdensome and oppressive, they had to reach inside themselves to summon up additional strength to overcome frustration, anger and fear. So, even though the trip had more than its share of disappointments, the teens were able to carry over the feeling that they could handle it when things don’t go smoothly.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center was the beneficiary of 5% Day at Whole Foods Market in Manhasset on June 24. Whole Foods made a donation of more than $5,000 to support the many programs and services of the organization, the leading children’s mental health agency on Long Island.
Honoree Sunny Hostin, Legal Analyst at CNN;Emcee Len Berman, Sports Announcer/Author; Live Auctioneer Bernadette Castro; and six of Long Island’s movers and shakers as the Dancing Stars: Frank Castagna, Castagna Realty;Charles Chan, Harvest International; Wayne Grossé, Bethpage Federal Credit Union; Jo-Ellen Hazan, Past President, the Guidance Center; Tracey Kupferberg, Daniel Gale Sotheby’s International Realty; and Sandra Schoenbart, Sandra K., Inc. Sales/Marketing.
