By Juliette Owens, MHC, Originally published in Anton Media
As summer winds down, families face the challenge of reorienting children back into school routines. For many, this period involves the usual protests and complaints, as children resist returning to their structured schedules and time away from home. However, some families face a more serious issue known as school refusal, making the back-to-school transition particularly taxing on the family as a whole.
What is School Refusal?
School refusal, also referred to as school avoidance, refers to any kind of significant absenteeism accompanied by severe emotional distress. While not a formal diagnosis, it is a symptom associated with other mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Children exhibiting school refusal may demonstrate avoidance behaviors in various ways, such as lateness and refusing to get out of bed, or leaving school early and acting out during class due to the more deeply rooted stressors. Once a child discovers an effective method of avoidance, it can escalate into a more persistent issue.
Distress associated with attending school can manifest in different ways, varying from child to child. Some may report physical symptoms of headaches or stomach aches, increased depression, anxiety, or aggression, and a resistance to getting ready for school.
School Refusal vs. Truancy
It can be challenging for parents to distinguish between school refusal and truancy, as both involve a child missing school. However, the underlying motivations and emotional responses are notably different, and understanding these differences is essential for providing appropriate support.
Truancy is often associated with older teenagers and is typically driven by external factors such as boredom, rebellion, or the influence of peers. In these cases, the avoidance of school is not due to emotional struggles, but a desire to seek out more enjoyable activities. Though truancy can sometimes be a form of acting out or asserting independence, it lacks the severe emotional distress seen in school refusal.
Unlike truancy, school avoidance is often rooted in significant mental health concerns that require professional attention. A child experiencing school refusal isn’t avoiding school for the sake of fun or rebellion; instead, they are overwhelmed by fear or discomfort at the thought of attending school. For these children, school is a source of distress that they feel unable to cope with, leading to a strong emotional and physical reaction.
What Parents Can Do
It’s important to practice active listening in order to understand their reasons for school avoidance. School can be intimidating due to a child’s fears of bullying, social isolation, public speaking, or failure. Recognizing that your child is not making their situation harder on purpose is important and allows your family to productively help as a unit.
Creating a comprehensive support system is the key to helping your child overcome the underlying issue of school refusal. Work with your child’s school to develop a plan that addresses their anxiety and facilitates school attendance. An outpatient mental health center, such as North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, can address the underlying issues while advocating for accommodations at school to make the environment more manageable.
Know that your family is not alone. School refusal is a growing challenge, with rates rising by 5% partly due to the disruptions caused by the Covid-19 pandemic in which kids missed out on vital socialization, creating higher levels of anxiety when faced with large groups of their peers. However, with understanding, support, and the right resources, your family can navigate this difficult period and help your child successfully reenter the school environment.
