by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 26, 2024 | Anton Media, In The Media
By Juliette Owens, MHC, Originally published in Anton Media
As summer winds down, families face the challenge of reorienting children back into school routines. For many, this period involves the usual protests and complaints, as children resist returning to their structured schedules and time away from home. However, some families face a more serious issue known as school refusal, making the back-to-school transition particularly taxing on the family as a whole.
What is School Refusal?
School refusal, also referred to as school avoidance, refers to any kind of significant absenteeism accompanied by severe emotional distress. While not a formal diagnosis, it is a symptom associated with other mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
Children exhibiting school refusal may demonstrate avoidance behaviors in various ways, such as lateness and refusing to get out of bed, or leaving school early and acting out during class due to the more deeply rooted stressors. Once a child discovers an effective method of avoidance, it can escalate into a more persistent issue.
Distress associated with attending school can manifest in different ways, varying from child to child. Some may report physical symptoms of headaches or stomach aches, increased depression, anxiety, or aggression, and a resistance to getting ready for school.
School Refusal vs. Truancy
It can be challenging for parents to distinguish between school refusal and truancy, as both involve a child missing school. However, the underlying motivations and emotional responses are notably different, and understanding these differences is essential for providing appropriate support.
Truancy is often associated with older teenagers and is typically driven by external factors such as boredom, rebellion, or the influence of peers. In these cases, the avoidance of school is not due to emotional struggles, but a desire to seek out more enjoyable activities. Though truancy can sometimes be a form of acting out or asserting independence, it lacks the severe emotional distress seen in school refusal.
Unlike truancy, school avoidance is often rooted in significant mental health concerns that require professional attention. A child experiencing school refusal isn’t avoiding school for the sake of fun or rebellion; instead, they are overwhelmed by fear or discomfort at the thought of attending school. For these children, school is a source of distress that they feel unable to cope with, leading to a strong emotional and physical reaction.
What Parents Can Do
It’s important to practice active listening in order to understand their reasons for school avoidance. School can be intimidating due to a child’s fears of bullying, social isolation, public speaking, or failure. Recognizing that your child is not making their situation harder on purpose is important and allows your family to productively help as a unit.
Creating a comprehensive support system is the key to helping your child overcome the underlying issue of school refusal. Work with your child’s school to develop a plan that addresses their anxiety and facilitates school attendance. An outpatient mental health center, such as North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, can address the underlying issues while advocating for accommodations at school to make the environment more manageable.
Know that your family is not alone. School refusal is a growing challenge, with rates rising by 5% partly due to the disruptions caused by the Covid-19 pandemic in which kids missed out on vital socialization, creating higher levels of anxiety when faced with large groups of their peers. However, with understanding, support, and the right resources, your family can navigate this difficult period and help your child successfully reenter the school environment.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 13, 2024 | Blog
The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court is a welcomed place of respite for children and families who have business in family court. Far from a simple daycare service, the Children’s Center provides early-learning, social connection, and emotional well-being in a safe and caring environment.
Through a grant made possible through United Way this summer, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center partnered with Sesame Workshop, the global nonprofit behind Sesame Street, introducing new and exciting ways to impact our clients. Through familiar faces like Elmo, Big Bird, and the rest of the Sesame Street family, the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court utilized a diverse range of resources and tools, spanning issues from Healthy Minds & Bodies to Tough Topics, that are designed to help children navigate challenges like trauma, grief, and parental addiction.
Each day, our teachers and volunteers have exposed the children to the Sesame Workshop resources, allowing them to learn about friendship, art, and health, often practicing breathing techniques as a group to help with stress management. Children are able to apply the skills they learn at the Center to their daily routine, enhancing their communication and coping skills.
Many of our young clients at the Children’s Center aren’t familiar with Sesame Street, so this partnership has introduced them to a world of fun and creativity experienced by previous generations for decades. Feedback from parents has been overwhelmingly positive; many expect their children to simply play while they tend to court matters, but when they see the engaging and educational resources we provide, they leave with a renewed sense of hope for their children and appreciation of our work.
Making a Difference
The impact of Sesame Workshop is seen through the personal experiences of the children themselves. One example came from two siblings who felt drawn to a webpage that focused on coping with divorce. This video acknowledged the difficulties of separation while emphasizing that change, although challenging, is a natural part of life.
Afterward, a teacher sat down with the siblings to reflect on what they had learned. When asked about their takeaway from the video, they responded: “Mom and Dad love us, no matter what.”
For Monica Doyley, Head Teacher and Supervisor of the Children’s Center, moments like these clearly show the importance of the Children’s Center. “That type of answer is why we do what we do,” she says. “We aren’t babysitters—we’re a resource that supports children and families throughout the hardest challenges they face.”
This partnership with Sesame Workshop has opened new doors of learning and healing at the Children’s Center, allowing us to continue supporting children in ways that are meaningful, educational, and fun. As we continue to incorporate these tools into daily activities, we remain committed to ensuring that every child who enters the Center takes home a sense of hope and belonging.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Aug 21, 2024 | In The Media, Newsday
By Craig Schneider, Published in Newsday, August 20, 2024
Roosevelt kindergarten teacher Margarita Acevedo said she’ll be starting the new school year with excitement, anticipation — and concern.
The teacher said that since children returned from the pandemic in fall 2021, some have lacked basic abilities, including how to handle pencils and crayons, as well as social skills such as getting along with others, taking turns and listening to one another.
“I feel like I’m starting off the year needing to do urgent interventions,” said Acevedo, who teaches at Ulysses Byas Elementary School.
She is hardly alone in such worries. Long Island educators and child experts say some of the youngest students — who were babies, toddlers and in prekindergarten when COVID reached the United States in 2019 — are struggling with relating to other students, throwing tantrums in class and not wanting to go to school.
WHAT TO KNOW
- Some of Long Island’s youngest public school students — who were babies, toddlers and in prekindergarten during the COVID pandemic — are struggling with relating to other students, throwing tantrums in class and not wanting to go to school.
- These students, now in kindergarten through third grade, missed important social interactions with their peers and others during the year or more of lockdowns and remote learning.
- Island educators say they are optimistic the children can catch up, given the school-based interventions and kids’ natural resiliency.
“We’re seeing an increase in these children with social deficits — navigating a social setting, navigating conflict and sharing things,” said Antonio Santana, superintendent of the South Country school district in Suffolk County. “More young kids need counseling. … It’s enough that it’s notice.”
The pandemic impacted students across all ages, setting many back academically and developmentally. Many were largely left at home to their own devices without much supervision or time with friends. Now, educators are seeing the effects it had on younger children.
These students, now in kindergarten through third grade, missed important social interactions with peers during the year or more of lockdowns, educators say. They lost out on structured learning when day care centers and preschool programs shut down in March 2020, educators and local child therapists said.
“We have noticed that many students entering kindergarten are not at the developmental and academic level we would typically expect,” said Shawn Wightman, superintendent of the Roosevelt school system. “Issues such as difficulties in fine motor skills, limited verbal communication, and challenges in emotional regulation have become more pronounced.”
Nakia Wolfe, a math intervention instructor in the Amityville district, taught grades 3-5 after the pandemic. He said he saw the difference as soon as the children came into class.
“Especially in terms of stamina, their ability to focus,” Wolfe said. “There were more behavior issues, more fighting.”
Helping kids readjust academically was difficult enough when many students returned to classes full time in 2021, he said. But dealing with the added social and emotional difficulties “felt like you were climbing up a steep hill and now were pushing a boulder.”
Island educators say they’re addressing the challenges. Children’s mental health already had become a major concern before the pandemic, and COVID added to those worries. Educators have been using millions in federal aid to hire more school counselors and implement more interventions.
South Country added a counselor at the elementary level in the 2023-24 school year and is considering adding another for its youngest students, Santana said.
“We’re continuing our focus on character education, so we actually do look out for one another,” he said.
More younger children need counseling, said Antonio Santana, superintendent of the South Country school district. Credit: Alejandra Villa Loarca
Roosevelt spent about $200,000 to add a speech specialist and an occupational therapist during the pandemic to address the developmental delays in these students, Wightman said.
The district also has hired three additional social workers, at a cost of about $495,000, since the pandemic to ensure every building has social workers and counselors, he said.
Roosevelt also hired three reading specialists and three math specialists during the pandemic, at a cost of $625,000, to work with the students, he said.
In addition, Roosevelt’s after-school and summer tutoring programs have helped to close academic gaps, Wightman said, adding that these programs cost a total of about $1.2 million. Those costs cover a range of initiatives, including those that started in the summer of 2021 to target young learners with foundational literacy and math tutoring, he said.
The superintendent said assessments indicate a 14% increase in reading fluency among K-3 students since 2021.
In Port Jefferson, school officials said that at the elementary level, speech teachers and counselors are providing “push-in” services in which they come into a class to provide lessons in social skills and language skills, said Jodi Cahill, district director of special education.
“Many teachers are doing a social-emotional check-in at the start of a class, asking students, ‘Feel OK today?’ ” she said. “It’s become ingrained in a lot of our teachers.”
COVID money ending this school year
Worries persist, however.
COVID money is drying up this coming academic year. That and other budget cuts have forced some schools to cut back and even lay off some counselors and social workers, said Stacy Pellettieri, clinical director of Long Island Counseling, which has offices in East Meadow and Melville.
“Some schools don’t have the resources, and they’re overwhelmed,” said Pellettieri, who works with about 30 Island districts. “This is the worst possible time to get rid of school social workers.”
Wightman said Roosevelt is keenly aware of the financial challenges that will arise when COVID money runs dry. He said the district is pursuing additional grants and other funding to sustain the additional positions.
“However, if we are unable to secure the necessary funding, we will be faced with difficult decisions that could involve reductions in services and/or programs, leading to potential budget cuts and staffing reductions,” he said.
The majority of Island districts, including Roosevelt, begin school Sept. 3.
Over the past year, Amityville has let go of a half-dozen social workers, leaving the district with about five, Wolfe said. The Sachem district also has laid off social workers in that period.
Following the pandemic, Riverhead added several social workers, psychologists and guidance counselors, interim Superintendent Cheryl Pedisich said. This past school year, due to budget constraints, the district reduced one psychologist, one social worker, and 0.4 guidance counselor, Pedisich said.
Pellettieri said she is seeing roughly a 30% to 40% increase in young students with emotional problems coming in for help. She said some teachers are reacting to these children acting out with punishments that don’t get to the heart of the problem.
“It’s really important not to shame them. … It’s almost like punishing a disability,” Pellettieri said.
Stacy Pellettieri, clinical director of Long Island Counseling, said she is seeing more young students with emotional problems coming in for help. Credit: Rick Kopstein
Teachers and parents need to help the child feel safe in school and catch up on the skills they need, she said. The child may need some counseling or to come to class in shorter periods until they become comfortable with the school setting.
Cahill said the Port Jefferson district is using “trauma-informed” responses to young students acting out, rather than just simple discipline.
“We’re looking at how do we work with a student, and understand what they’re going through, rather than just punishment,” she said.
Before the pandemic, it was not uncommon to see some nervous kids on the first day of school clinging to their parents outside. But now, for some kids, that separation anxiety has grown into refusing to go to school at all, Pellettieri said.
“Certain stages of development require experiences. … The pandemic interrupted those experiences and interactions,” Pellettieri said.
Playing with other kids teaches them to take turns, share and resolve conflicts, she said.
“Both parents had to work from home, and day cares and preschools were all closed, leaving parents no choice but to use the television or iPads to keep the kids busy,” she said.
Much depends on how parents themselves handled the pandemic, said Susan Cohen, clinical director of the Right From the Start program at the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center in Manhasset. Even the youngest of children pick up on their parents’ stress, she said.
“The anxiety trickles down. They may not know about the pandemic, but they see that the anxiety is amped up,” Cohen said. At the same time, she said, some children are simply more prone to anxiety regardless of their parents’ behavior.
The stakes are high in helping these children, she said.
“It’s in second and third grade when learning disabilities often show up. That’s when children go from learning how to read to reading to know other subjects,” Cohen said. “If they’re not succeeding, they can fall behind. Their self-esteem takes a hit.”
That can lead to more absenteeism and resistance to even go to school, she said.
“They don’t want to be put in an environment where they’re not succeeding,” she said.
1.3M behind in reading, 1.7M in math
The issue stretches well beyond Long Island.
While studies show older students have shown encouraging signs of recovery in math and English, younger students who were not in a formal school setting when the pandemic hit have not fared as well, and some are falling further behind, according to a 2024 report by Curriculum Associates, a Massachusetts company that provides math and reading tests for students.
If applied nationally, the report suggests that 1.3 million second-graders are behind in reading, and 1.7 million are behind in math.
Addressing students in K-3, the report concluded, “We found these students are performing behind pre-pandemic levels, with limited signs of recovery.”
The report notes that the pandemic’s impact on older children has been studied extensively, but little research has focused on the youngest children.
“I think this data, based on millions of students across the nation, is a call to action across the education community,” said Kristen Huff, the company’s vice president of assessment and research, noting it could take years for these young learners to rebound.
However schools respond to this trend, it’s critical that they involve parents, educators and therapists.
In Roosevelt, school officials have made a point of working more closely with parents, Wightman said. The district launched family engagement programs in the fall of 2022, at a cost of $80,000, that include training sessions on positive parenting techniques and tools for managing stress, he said.
“Despite the challenges, we remain optimistic about our students’ ability to catch up,” he said. “Young children possess remarkable resilience and adaptability. . . . Many of our students are demonstrating significant improvements in literacy and numeracy skills, and we are witnessing enhanced social interactions.”
Acevedo, the Roosevelt kindergarten teacher, said she’s heading into the school year with more hope than worry. She’s been focusing on positive reinforcement with the kids.
“When I see a child crawling around on the floor, I look at the child who’s behaving and say, ‘I love the way you’re sitting in your seat,’ ” she said. “The child on the floor sees the praise, and they’re going to want that praise.”
TIPS FOR PARENTS
Susan Cohen, clinical director of the Right From the Start program at North Shore Child & Family Guidance, offers these tips to parents for helping children with emotional problems:
- Be open to listening to the child.
- Help the child express their feelings.
- Try not to project your own anxiety onto the child.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- The child needs to understand there are consequences for their actions, but also work on understanding what’s behind the behavior and work on better ways to handle it.
- Always try to communicate with the child’s school.
Click to read the article, Younger students are developmentally behind, educators say, and they’re blaming the pandemic – Newsday
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Aug 21, 2024 | In The Media, Newsday
By Bart Jones, Published in Newsday, August 11, 2024
The mental health of teenagers improved somewhat as the COVID-19 pandemic eased, a new federal study says, though experts on Long Island said it remains a major problem, fueled in part by addiction to cellphones and social media.
The number of adolescents reporting persistent sadness or hopelessness dropped slightly between 2021 and 2023, from 42% to 40%, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in a report released last week. For girls, the percentage dropped from 57% to 53%, while the number of girls who seriously considered suicide fell from 30% to 27%.
Mental health experts on Long Island said that while those numbers may be cause for limited optimism, they underscored that depression, anxiety and other issues remain widespread among teenagers.
“Even though there are some improvements in some of the mental health markers among youth, it is important to note how dramatic the continued mental health crisis is,” said Dr. Victor Fornari, the vice chair of child and adolescent psychiatry for Northwell Health.
He noted that four out of every 10 teenagers reported continuous sadness or hopelessness in 2023, meaning they felt so despondent for at least two weeks that they stopped doing their usual activities. About 20% seriously considered suicide, 16% came up with a suicide plan, and 9% attempted suicide, according to the report.
And while the number of teens reporting persistent sadness or hopelessness fell to 40% in 2023, a decade earlier it was 30%.
Dr. Adria Gerber, a licensed clinical psychologist at Stony Brook Medicine, said that “although there has been some improvement … the numbers are daunting.”
The report did not include figures on suicides among teenagers, but according to the CDC, suicide is now the second-leading cause of death after unintentional injury among people ages 10 to 34 in the United States.
Guarded optimism about new numbers
CDC officials said they saw reasons for hope with the latest report.
“One of our main priorities at [the] CDC is improving Americans’ mental health,” Dr. Debra Houry, the CDC’s chief medical officer and deputy director for program and science, said in a statement. The report shows “improvements to a number of metrics that measure young people’s mental well-being — progress we can build on. However, this work is far from complete.”
Among minority teenagers, the report found some improvement also.
The number of Hispanics who felt persistently sad or hopeless fell from 46% to 42%. Hispanic students who seriously considered attempting suicide dropped from 22% to 18%, while those who made a suicide plan fell from 19% to 16%.
Among Black students, the amount who attempted suicide fell from 14% to 10%, while those injured in a suicide attempt fell from 4% to 2%.
For LGBT+ students, the study found troubling trends: In 2023, nearly three in 10 were bullied at school, and two in 10 attempted suicide.
Some local experts attributed the small improvements to the country emerging from the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and returning to some normalcy. The CDC study was based on data from the 2021 and 2023 national Youth Risk Behavior Survey. The pandemic erupted in the United States in March 2020.
“Some of it might be coming out on the other side of the pandemic,” Fornari said. “We know that the COVID pandemic demonstrated a dramatic increase in mental health concerns among youth” as they had to stay home for months and engage in remote learning.
Christopher Coluccio, of Blue Point, whose 14-year-old son, also named Christopher, died by suicide in 2021, agreed.
“I have a concern that, as much as it’s a good number, that some of it is just falling off from how people were in COVID and that we’re just getting back to the real numbers,” said Coluccio, who now runs a foundation aimed at combating suicide.
Others said the improvements might be due to more people seeking mental health services as the stigma surrounding the issue slowly dissipates.
“The one good thing about COVID is that we really laser-focused on people’s mental health, because we saw it deteriorating so quickly,” said Jeffrey Friedman, CEO of the nonprofit CN Guidance & Counseling Services in Hicksville.
“We’re seeing more people access services, and when more people access services and enter treatment, we do see a decrease in people experiencing sadness or hopelessness and an increase in their overall mental health,” he said.
His agency has seen a 20% increase in young people receiving mental health assistance since 2022, he said.
Gerber, who works at the Outpatient Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Department of Stony Brook University Hospital, said that clinic was overwhelmed with requests for help during the early years of the pandemic, with a 200% increase between 2020 and 2022. Social isolation due to the pandemic was causing widespread depression, anxiety and other issues, she said.
“We were getting this huge increase in call volume that we weren’t able to manage,” she said.
Demand for service is still high, she said, but has dropped to a more manageable level.
Access to mental health counseling has improved partly because of another consequence of the pandemic — “telehealth,” or counseling sessions held over Zoom or other programs. Now teenagers don’t have to rely on their parents to drive them to a therapist’s office, she said.
Not all local experts think the mental health situation of teenagers has improved.
“Rates of depression and anxiety are pervasive, particularly among Hispanic girls,” said Kathy Rivera, executive director and CEO of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center in Nassau County. Her agency has “not seen a reduction in the overall need for our vital children’s mental health programs.”
Claudia Boyle, CEO of the Hispanic Counseling Center in Hempstead and Bay Shore, said that while the overall picture for Hispanics nationwide may have improved, “That’s not the case … in Nassau and in Suffolk. I don’t feel that it’s going down.”
Her agency is receiving a growing number of calls for help, with self-harm, hopelessness, thoughts of suicide and other problems common. Even this summer — a season when requests typically drop — the number of calls has remained steady.
“The kids have very few coping skills,” she said. “It’s just a different world.”
Social media and mental health
Many experts attribute some of the ongoing mental health problems to the emergence over the last decade of ubiquitous cellphones and social media.
U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy in 2023 issued an extraordinary public warning that social media poses a threat to the mental health of young people. In June, he called for warning labels on the platforms, like those mandated on cigarette boxes. Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of anxiety and depression symptoms, he said.
Cellphones, said Northwell’s Fornari, are central to the mental health crisis “because we are holding a handheld computer that has access to the internet and social media. Youth are targeted and bullied on social media in ways that we can’t even imagine. It’s not just being called names in the cafeteria or in the hallway. It really can be quite toxic and quite hurtful.”
Rivera agreed, and said many teens are even turning to the internet for inappropriate mental health assistance.
“The dangers of social media have only intensified over time,” she said. “Many youths, particularly teens, are turning to online platforms for self-diagnosis and treatment or use unregulated mental health apps to fill their need for social connectedness. While these may offer temporary relief, they fail to address the underlying issues, which may exacerbate at a later time.”
Still, some experts have hope that the improvement in the numbers cited by the CDC will continue. They say the growing number of famous people speaking out about their mental health struggles can help end the stigma around the topic.
Simone Biles, considered the greatest gymnast of all time, has spoken openly of her mental health struggles — and how therapy helped her. After withdrawing from five event finals at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics, she came back to this summer’s games in Paris — and won three gold medals and one silver.
“She’s phenomenal,” Gerber said. “It’s just unbelievable to see the turnaround and to see her performance. I think she brought to the stage just this understanding that she’s human. She’s shown that if you admit what is going on, there is a community out there to help you. They can help you become your best self.”
Link to article, Mental health among nation’s teens takes upward turn, but challenges remain, study says – Newsday
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Aug 8, 2024 | Blog
By Guest Blogger Chloe Cohen
The Children’s Center, a program of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center located within the Nassau County Family Court, provides care and early learning for children (infants to 12 years old) while their parents or guardians handle court matters. Here at The Children’s Center, we partnered with Sesame Street’s “Sesame Workshop,” which provides resources, games, and webinars aimed to aid children of all ages to become “smarter, stronger, and kinder” according to Sesame Street. Throughout the duration of the summer thus far, we have been implementing these educational resources to over 70 children enrolled at the Children’s Center The Workshop features several topics ranging from emotional well-being, art, and friendship to more difficult topics such as divorce and trauma that have proven to educate and open the minds of children to these topics at an understandable and age appropriate level.
By using beloved Sesame Street characters and engaging content, the Workshop creates a safe and supportive environment for children to learn and grow. These resources not only foster healthy habits and resilience but also promote empathy, understanding, and inclusion, ensuring that children are equipped with the knowledge and skills they need for a happy, healthy, and successful future.
Healthy Minds and Bodies
The Sesame Workshop features three subsections of countless resources- the first two are “ABCs and 123s”, which outlines core academic subjects and approaches them in an entertaining and educational manner, and the second is “Healthy Minds and Bodies.” I would like to highlight this subsection, as Sesame Street leverages familiar and friendly Sesame Street characters to make learning about health and wellness fun and effective for young children.
While topics such as nutrition, mindfulness, social emotional learning, and hygiene are not typically touched upon by school curriculum, their importance to the development of children remains critical. By learning about topics related to healthy minds and bodies, we are actively working to set the foundation for lifelong habits that can be established at a young age. Understanding these concepts early on helps children to develop self-care routines and habits that can lead to healthier lifestyles. Additionally, learning about emotional well-beingequips children with skills to manage stress, build resilience, and navigate social interactions effectively. Sesame Street highlights a holistic approach within this subsection that fosters overall well-being for developing children by ensuring they are physically active, emotionally balanced, and socially adept.
The Approach to “Tough Topics”
Of the topics presented within the Workshop, we have found the third and final subsection, “Tough Topics”, to be the most effective. Understanding difficult topics such as divorce, trauma, and grief can be extremely hard for young children, and it can be even harder for caregivers to introduce such matters. The online resources for “Tough Topics” are designed to help children and their caregivers navigate sensitive issues with age appropriate and familiar characters who provide them with the tools they need to manage these challenges together. These topics can be difficult to approach for caregivers as they can even be seen as a taboo to be mentioned in schools or among children’s peers. The Sesame Workshop can open the conversation between children and their caregivers as well as allow them to pack their toolbox with skills to get through these difficult times. Additionally, caregivers who review these resources are able to learn how to communicate with their children through these journeys in a healthy way.
These topics, such as divorce and separation, have been especially useful in The Children’s Center as we are located within a family courthouse that regularly deals with these issues. Children who are literate are able to pick the topic they would like to learn more about during their time with us, and a number of children have chosen these tough topics potentially due to their own family situation or the situation of a loved one. By offering these resources to children who may be struggling, we are actively utilizing the Sesame Workshop to its fullest potential, and we hope to continue to make a difference in the lives of these children, though our time together is limited.
