Note: In honor of Minority Mental Health Month, this week’s blog talks about North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Latina Girls Project.
Any parent of a teenager knows that the adolescent years can be challenging, and they aren’t alarmed when their kids exhibit a healthy dose of moodiness and angst. But for some young people, feelings of desperation and sadness can become overwhelming, and that’s when North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center steps in to help.
In her work as Associate Executive Director at the Guidance Center, Regina Barros-Rivera has counseled numerous teens who suffer from depression and anxiety. But a few years ago, she noticed a disturbing trend: An increasingly large number of first-generation Latinas were coming to the Guidance Center with severe depression, self-harming behaviors and suicidal thoughts. Many had stopped going to school, and some had been hospitalized for suicide attempts.
Barros-Rivera soon discovered that nationwide research mirrored what she was seeing at the Guidance Center. Studies show that Hispanic teenage girls are significantly more likely than their non-Hispanic peers to suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide. Sadly, many have attempted suicide or killed themselves.
Barros-Rivera, herself the daughter of immigrant parents, was gravely concerned—and determined to do something to help the teens and their families. She gathered a team of bilingual, multicultural counselors from the Guidance Center and created the Latina Girls Project, an innovative program that employs individual, group and family therapy, along with monthly outings and other activities, all designed to tackle issues such as depression, low self-esteem, school refusal and suicidal ideation.
WARNING SIGNS
Following are some signs that your child or teen may be at risk of a suicide attempt. From the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology:
Family history of suicide attempts
History of depression
Exposure to violence
Impulsivity
Aggressive or disruptive behavior
Access to firearms
Bullying
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
Acute loss or rejection
Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Frequent or pervasive sadness
Withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
Frequent complaints about physical symptoms often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, etc.
Decline in the quality of schoolwork
Preoccupation with death and dying
If your child or teen exhibits these symptoms, contact the Guidance Center at 516-626-1971 for help.
A big part of the reason these girls are struggling is because they are pulled in conflicting directions, says Barros-Rivera. “Their parents want them to adhere to the traditional values of their homeland, while the girls seek to integrate into American culture,” she explains.
The result: Parents are often extremely overprotective; they won’t allow their daughters to venture out and participate in the activities such as sleepovers, dating or trips to the mall. “That leaves the girls feeling like they are trapped and have no way out, which creates a very dangerous situation,” says Barros-Rivera.
Even if the teens are allowed to go out with their friends, they are required to have a chaperone, such as a parent or brother. In addition, they are often relegated to gender-biased roles, required to cook, clean and take care of their siblings while their brothers are treated , as one girl said, “like princes.”
During individual and group therapy sessions, the girls realize that they can trust their counselors, many of whom also grew up as first-generation Latinas. The counselors teach the girls healthy ways to deal with stress and depression and better ways to communicate with their parents.
For their part, the parents become more compassionate about their daughters’ feelings and also understand the need to let their teens separate in healthy, age-appropriate ways. As one girl put it, “My parents learned that I just wanted them to be there for me and listen. They learned that it doesn’t help to question why I feel the way I do but to accept it and support me.”
The teens also go on supervised monthly outings to museums, historical sites and even Broadway shows, thanks to the support of theJohnand JanetKornreichCharitable Foundation. These trips serve to boost their confidence and sense of independence. They also discover that there’s a great big world of opportunity out there for them, which allows them to feel optimistic about their futures.
“After we work with them, they see hope,” says Barros-Rivera. “They develop self-reliance and self-esteem.” With a big smile on her face, she adds, “I just love these girls!”
More Help for Your Teen fromLatina Social Media Activists
It’s not unusual for teenagers to be reluctant to speak with their parents about issues such as depression. Of course, it’s important to do your best to engage them in these conversations, but there is also an important avenue you can use to help your daughter learn more about mental health from her peers. Share this link with them that highlights seven Latina activists who are blogging about mental health.
And how to help if your child is afraid of the water
With summer in full swing, your kids have likely been spending time at a pool or at the beach.
Lately there have been some tragic stories about children losing their lives to drowning. A recent Newsday article shared the frightening statistic that double the amount of boys than girls drown in water accidents, likely because of the types of activities that each gender participates in when they are in the water. In addition, for both boys and girls ages one to four years old, drowning is the leading cause of death in the United States.
There are many ways to prevent tragedies in the water from occurring. Here are some tips from the Mayo Clinic.
Supervise. Never leave children unsupervised near a pool, hot tub or natural body of water. Don’t rely on air-filled or foam toys, such as water wings, noodles or inner tubes, to keep children safe.
Teach children to swim. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most children age 4 and older can learn to swim. Children ages 1 to 4 might be able to learn depending on their physical and emotional development.
Fence in your pool. Install a fence at least 4 feet tall that separates the pool area from the house and yard. The fence shouldn’t block the view of the pool from outside the fenced area.
Install alarms. Use an alarm on the house door that leads to the pool area, a floating pool-alarm or a below-water alarm.
Remove toys. Don’t leave pool toys in the water. A child might fall into the water while trying to retrieve a toy.
Beware of drains. Don’t allow children to play near or sit on pool or hot tub drains. Body parts and hair can become entrapped by the strong suction.
Wear a life jacket. Children and adults should wear personal flotation devices whenever riding in a boat or fishing. An air-filled swimming aid isn’t a substitute for a life jacket.
Stay in designated areas. At public beaches, swim only in areas set aside for swimming. Pay attention to posted warnings about unsafe swimming conditions.
What if your child is afraid of the water? The reality is that some children grow up eager to jump into the pool, while it can be very difficult to get others to step anywhere near water.
First and foremost, never rush your child into jumping into the water. Thoughts of jumping into a pool may create a rush of anxiety in many children, so taking it slow is very important. Help your child feel safe by sitting near the pool with them and slowly stepping into the water together. Make sure to exhibit patience and understanding. Try to teach your child to swim at a private pool. This could definitely be less frightening than beginning in a large crowded one.
To watch a video with some tips on helping your child learn how to swim, click here.
There’s no doubt about it. We are living in contentious, anxious and uncertain times. One can only wonder what young people think of the endless parade of public figures—government officials, businessmen, entertainers, professional athletes—screaming and cursing and crashing and burning before their eyes. Perhaps F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best when he wrote: “Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.”
And, although the atmosphere seems more anxiety-producing than ever, such feelings aren’t new. Several years ago, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center asked 1,200 high school students from all across Long Island to share their concerns for the present and the future.
One of them wrote: “I don’t think this world is ever going to get better. To live in this world you have to be very, very strong, because if you’re not, the system will walk all over you. You really cannot trust anybody but your family, and not even them half the time.”
Relationships, illness, divorce and death weighed heavily on their minds. One wrote about the dissolution of his parents’ marriage, “My parents are getting a divorce and now there is talk about my mother being forced to move out of the house and my father move in and I have no say. I have lost faith in the court system. I thought we had the right to freedom of speech, but I guess actually being heard is another story.”
Another talked about his fears: “I am afraid of a lot of things—mainly dying too young and not getting to live to my greatest expectations.”
We asked, “When you’re confused about life, who helps you sort things out?” Almost three-quarters said their parents and their friends fill that role. Far from rejecting parents in favor of peers, family is part of the solution, not the problem.
In an all-day gathering of teens and adults that followed the release of the results of the student survey, the young people talked about well-meaning parents who are overwhelmed with trying to make ends meet, with little or no time for substantive discussion with them. They also talked about teachers they admire but who are too preoccupied with preparations for standardized testing.
In a small group discussion that day, a parent said: “What stood out for me the most was the observation by several of the kids that they need support from adults to tackle the challenging issues they face. Often, adults complain that kids are apathetic, lazy, unmotivated or apolitical. Maybe it is our own apathy and fears that prevent us as adults from helping.”
And a teacher said: “Listening to the depths of emotion and world concerns from the students, I came away feeling that we are missing the boat with our kids. I know this is a generalization, but so many young people are walking around with such powerful feelings that we as adults are not helping them with. Our schools appear to be more interested in control, assessments and achievement scores than the life events that affect our children.”
All of these comments point out one basic truth: connections count. It is the good connections in their lives that enable children to bounce back from private crises such as illness, divorce, drug addiction, child abuse and death, and keep them from being weighed down by the daily drumbeat and demoralizing impact of public scandal, corruption and contentiousness that beset us all.
Note: Portions of this article first appeared in Newsday. Written by Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
How many hours a week do your kids watch television? According to The Nielsen Company, kids ages 2-5 spend more than 32 hours a week in front of the TV screen, while 6- to 11- year-olds spend about 28 hours a week.
And those statistics don’t factor in time spent on computers or smart phones or other media platforms.
What all those hours add up to is lots and lots of ads. Children are bombarded with advertisements for everything from the latest tech gadget to the newest twist on Classic Coke. Few if any of those ads are about getting outside to exercise or spending time reading.
According to Maanasi, a blogger on momjunction.com, there are a number of potentially harmful effects of advertising on children. They include:
• Advertisements encourage children to ask their parents to buy the products they see in commercials, regardless of whether they need them or not.
• Children are likely to focus on the negatives rather than the positive side of the messages.
• Flashy ads on TV, the Internet, magazines, etc. create a tendency for impulse shopping.
• Many advertisements involve dangerous stunts, which children imitate as they do not understand the warnings that come with the ads.
• With so many attractive commercials marketing junk foods and sugary beverages, these ads encourage unhealthy eating, which in turn has led to an increase in obesity, diabetes, heart problems and other conditions in young children.
• Child advertising may impact self-esteem, making kids feel inferior to their peers if they do not have the latest products seen in commercials.
• Sexually suggestive ads make children objectify women and allow them to think that looking or acting a certain way is the only way to make friends or be popular.
Although parents and other who care about kids can always organize and protest against deleterious commercials, I think that the advertising of everyday life might be even more effective.
The advertising of everyday life is comprised of those homespun messages that parents, grandparents and other caregivers pass along to their children. Almost everyone can think of one or two from our growing up years. I believe that parents and other caring adults can be just as clever as Madison Avenue.
My mom, an antiques dealer known in the business as Antique Evelyn, was a businesswoman and collector of old advertising signs and tins. When I was about 12, Antique Evelyn brought home an old sign that read: “None of us in our business or social life can coast along on a reputation of past performances. It’s the good job we do today that counts.”
She framed the sign and placed it in a strategic place in the bathroom—just behind the toilet. This way my younger brother and I (and our dad) would come eye-to-eye with the sign several times a day, every day, year in and year out. According to my own calculations I read her “advertisement” at least 5,000 times during my teenage years.
Coaches have motivational slogans, preachers have spiritual sermons, teachers have instructional lessons and my mom had not-so-subliminal signs. These are the advertisements of everyday life. Some people might refer to this as imparting values.
Oh, and about mom’s sign; it hangs in my office, right next to my desk where I see it every day.
From left, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff, event co-chairs Mike Mondiello and Troy Slade, honoree Ed Haug and event founder Jeff Krevat. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, once again hosted a joyful event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner at our 22nd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf and Tennis Classic on June 18 at The Creek in Locust Valley.
The event raised more than $230,000 to support the guidance center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year’s honoree was Ed Haug, Managing Partner of Haug Partners LLP, a pioneer East Coast law firm and provider of synthesized, multidisciplinary legal services for life science and technology businesses.
“Everyone had a great time on this magnificent golf course and on the tennis courts, and the elegant steak and lobster dinner was exquisite” said Haug. “But the most important thing is that we came together so that children and their families will continue to receive the life-saving services of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Guidance Center.”
The co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade.
In addition, Dan Donnelly, last year’s honoree, served as the auctioneer at this year’s event.
“It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime support of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
“We’re so grateful to all of the people who worked so hard to make this year’s event a huge success,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the guidance center. “Their dedication to our work enables us to provide the services to all those who need them, despite their ability to pay.”
