When it comes to professional sports, talk is usually focused on performance stats, injuries and other game-related topics. Rarely is emotional well-being part of the discussion. But several NBA stars have opened up about their struggles with issues like depression and anxiety—a brave move in a culture that still tends to stigmatize mental health issues.
An article on the NBA’s website focused on three star players: DeMar DeRosen, Kevin Love and Kelly Oubre Jr. The players all expressed hope that bringing the conversation about mental health into the open would help remove some of the stigma.
DeRosen had sent out a tweet about his depression, and he was very moved by the public’s reaction: “The response I got from people was so uplifting, positive, refreshing,” says DeRosen. “It’s crazy. But it made me feel good. You just look at certain things. People say ‘you helped me. Because if you’re going through something like this, I can get through it.’ It’s incredible.”
Kevin Love, who has openly discussed his panic attacks and subsequent therapy, wrote: “Mental health isn’t just an athlete thing. What you do for a living doesn’t have to define who you are. This is an everyone thing.”
While some athletes fear that others may think that, because they make a lot of money, they have no right to complain, sports psychologist Brent Walker wrote: “The reality is that professional athletes are not different,” Walker said. “Everyone has their struggles regardless of what it looks like on the outside. We all have stuff we have to deal with. Where it gets different and difficult for the professional athletes is that it’s worst in a team sport in that, ‘I can’t let anybody know. I’ve got to be a man [or woman]. I can’t let anyone know there’s something wrong with me.’ ”
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff was an athlete in high school and college, and he echoes the idea that players at any level fear letting down their teammates. “One of the stresses I dealt with all the time was playing with injuries and not letting anyone know how much pain I was in, physically and emotionally,” he says. “It was as if my sense of worth was only a function of my performance.”
So, what does this mean to a child or teen athlete? The reality is that, starting at a very young age, many kids are often still taught to “suck it up” and play regardless of their physical or emotional state. That has to change.
“The fact that some of their heroes are speaking out about their battles with issues like anxiety and depression is a huge step in making it acceptable to discuss mental health issues,” says Malekoff. “Parents can also make a big difference by making sure their kids hear about these stories, so if they’re feeling emotionally vulnerable, they can know that they have nothing to be ashamed of and that it’s OK to seek out help.”
In addition, be sure that you demonstrate your pride in your child no matter how well they perform in a game. Point out what they do right and leave the coaching to the coaches.
From left, James Kinney, Fair Media Council board chairman; Andrew Malekoff, executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center; and Jaci Clement, CEO and executive director of Fair Media Council. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff was honored today at the Fair Media Council’s Folio Awards as Best Columnist. His winning column was “Looking for a Path Back to Civility,” which ran in Newsday’s Opinion section on Sept. 17, 2017.
Here is an excerpt from the column:
Most people I talk to agree that civility is on the decline. Everyone seems to have his or her own horror stories, whether it is inconsiderate neighbors or co-workers, aggressive driving or just plain rudeness.
Highways have become the Wild West. Hardly anyone comes to a complete stop for a stop sign. The yellow traffic signal has evolved from its original meaning, slow down, to speed up. And, of course, there are tailgating, middle-finger salutes and rampant road rage.
Today, there is so much talk about putting an end to bullying in schools. Yet, we live in a world of adults who don’t think twice about trampling personal boundaries through rude, intimidating and obnoxious behavior.
If we cannot reverse the trend, we can at least slow down and teach our children, after we remind ourselves, the importance of putting a pause between impulse and action. Perhaps it is somewhere inside of that sacred space that we can find our way back to a civil society.
“I’m honored to receive this prestigious journalism award, especially for this piece that I’ve come to realize has such universal appeal,” said Malekoff.
“It’s more important than ever for responsible, credible voices to take a leading role in the public conversation to ensure we have an informed public and a smarter democracy,” said Jaci Clement, CEO and executive director of Fair Media Council. “Winning a Fair Media Council Folio Award illustrates North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s commitment to bettering the community by raising awareness, and cements its role as a Long Island leader.”
Debbie Greco Cohen, Lauren Edwards, Vivian Moy, Bridgette Hirsch, Mariann Dalimonte and Robin McDermott.
Port Washington resident Vivian Moy and Sands Point resident Nancy Lane have been named to the 2018 May W. Newburger Women’s Roll of Honor and were recognized at the annual breakfast at the Clubhouse at Harbor Links in Port Washington on March 28. Moy and Lane were among 12 women honored for their contribution to the community and significant achievements through public or private efforts.
“North Hempstead has a long, rich history of strong, compassionate women who dedicate themselves to the enrichment of our great town,” said Town of North Hempstead Clerk Wayne Wink at the breakfast. “It is my distinct privilege to organize this event each year to honor women throughout the Town of North Hempstead that have generously dedicated their time to make our town a better place. This year, we are proud to honor 12 deserving women for their exemplary service to the community. They join the ranks of many whom, through their service, have contributed positively to the lives of others.”
Back row: Town of North Hempstead Supervisor Judi Bosworth, Clerk Wayne Wink and Councilwoman Dina De Giorgio. Front row: Port Washington honorees Vivian Moy and Nancy Lane.
The 25th annual breakfast featured a color guard made up of Manhasset VFW Post 5063 and American Legion Post 304, the singing of the national anthem by Lisa Berman and readings from Shirley Romaine. All 12 honorees were recognized with a presentation of certificates by Wink and Supervisor Judi Bosworth.
“Wayne Wink called me to let me know that five people submitted nominations for me,” said Moy. “I was surprised initially, then humbled, then horrified in that order. I really don’t enjoy the limelight. It’s not what motivates me to give back to my community. This award was an unintended consequence of my efforts to highlight the work of all the nonprofit organizations I volunteer for. I believe people admire me because of my heart for community service motivated by passion for helping others.”
Moy volunteers with several nonprofit organizations including the Port Washington Crisis Relief Team (PWCRT), which supports residents during times of crisis and disaster, the Ed. Foundation, the Port Washington Chamber of Commerce, the Port Washington Community Chest and the Port Washington Public Library. She also volunteers for Island Harvest, the United Service Organization and the American Red Cross.
“I have run Red Cross Blood Drives in Port Washington and organized a Red Cross and PWCRT event where teams of volunteers from both organizations, plus community members installed smoke alarms in any home that needed one,” said Moy.
Moy has also run several shelters for residents during disasters including Superstorm Sandy.
“Within the Port community this was my greatest accomplishment,” said Moy regarding her help with Superstorm Sandy. “It was as exhausting as it was rewarding. I remember the town commenting to us afterwards that they were fielding emergency calls from every town except Port Washington because residents had somewhere to go to find food, information, camaraderie and electricity to charge their cellphones.”
Moy was previously the recipient of awards including the 2016 Community Service Award by the Port Washington Chamber of Commerce, the 2016 Red Cross Emerging Leader Award and a Hometown Hero Award from the Town of North Hempstead after Superstorm Sandy.
Sands Point resident Lane had similar sentiments about being named to the women’s roll of honor.
“It is an honor,” said Lane. “There are a lot of wonderful people in North Hempstead. It’s wonderful to be listed among those women who make a difference in our community.”
Lane moved to Port Washington Estates in 1980, then moved to Flower Hill in Manhasset in 1983 and recently moved to the Village of Sands Point. Lane was introduced to the North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center by a friend who was then the board president. Lane joined the committee to give back to her community.
Founded in 1953 as a result of a grassroots parents movement, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center is a specialty outpatient children’s mental health agency located on Long Island with licenses from the New York State Office of Mental Health and New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services. The Guidance Center’s staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, addiction counselors and professional family advocates work with children ages birth through 24 and their families, leading the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, parent education and advocacy.
“I think raising awareness of mental health needs and treatment is no longer the stigma it used to be,” said Lane. “We’re trying to enlighten people. We advocate for services to be provided.”
Lane has served on the board of the Guidance Center since 1986 and, having served as its board president in the late 1980s, she is currently serving as the board president once again. As a member of the board and its president, Lane assists in raising funds for the Guidance Center to provide more services to the community.
“Helping to advocate and bringing more awareness about what can be done and the change that can happen in a family if services are provided to that family can make all the difference,” said Lane. “I live in this community and it’s important for me to give back. I want to be able to feel that the community is better for the work I do.”
Also honored at the event were honorees Jo Marino and Robin Garrison Bolling of Westbury, Paula Groothuis and Mona Ng of Albertson, Helene Harris and Lillian Barnola of Mineola, Stella Biniaris of Manhasset, Barbara Silverman of Roslyn, Lida Edalati of Great Neck and Rose Lowe of New Hyde Park.
What did you think of this article? Share your thoughts with me by email at cclaus@antonmediagroup.com.
Roslyn Heights, NY, March 29, 2018— North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff was honored today at the Fair Media Council’s Folio Awards as Best Columnist. His winning column was “Looking for a Path Back to Civility,” which ran in Newsday’s Opinion section on September 17, 2017.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Board Members Jo-Ellen Hazan and Rita Castagna; Frank Castagna of Castagna Realty Co.; and Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Here is an excerpt from the column:
Most people I talk to agree that civility is on the decline. Everyone seems to have his or her own horror stories, whether it is inconsiderate neighbors or co-workers, aggressive driving or just plain rudeness.
Highways have become the Wild West. Hardly anyone comes to a complete stop for a stop sign. The yellow traffic signal has evolved from its original meaning, slow down, to speed up. And, of course, there are tailgating, middle-finger salutes and rampant road rage.
Today, there is so much talk about putting an end to bullying in schools. Yet, we live in a world of adults who don’t think twice about trampling personal boundaries through rude, intimidating and obnoxious behavior.
If we cannot reverse the trend, we can at least slow down and teach our children, after we remind ourselves, the importance of putting a pause between impulse and action. Perhaps it is somewhere inside of that sacred space that we can find our way back to a civil society.
“I’m honored to receive this prestigious journalism award, especially for this piece that I’ve come to realize has such universal appeal,” says Malekoff.
“It’s more important than ever for responsible, credible voices to take a leading role in the public conversation to ensure we have an informed public and a smarter democracy,” says Jaci Clement, CEO and Executive Director of Fair Media Council. “Winning a Fair Media Council Folio Award illustrates North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s commitment to bettering the community by raising awareness, and cements its role as a Long Island leader.”
James Kinney, Partner at Mazars USA and Chair of the Board of Directors of Fair Media Council; Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center; and Jaci Clement, CEO and Executive Director of Fair Media Council.
Although we began the week (once again) with several inches of snow on Long Island, spring is truly just around the corner. April is National Garden month, and many people can’t wait to get their hands in the dirt!
Gardening has obvious benefits for physical health. It gets you outdoors in the sunshine (soaking up some vitamin D!) and moving around, so it’s great exercise. And, if you have vegetables in your garden, in a few months you will be experiencing the delicious benefits of homegrown tomatoes, cucumbers and other healthy foods.
But gardening isn’t just great for your body. It also promotes emotional and psychological well-being, especially for children and teens who have disconnected from nature.
“Young people are inundated with constant stimulation from their digital devices, with many glued in front of computer screens and video games as they struggle with feelings of loneliness and rejection,” says Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “That lack of connection to the natural world negatively impacts them physically, emotionally and socially.”
At the Guidance Center, we’ve seen firsthand how children blossom when they “get back to the garden.” With the help of Larry Foglia and Heather Forest of Fox Hollow Farms, we designed our two organic gardens—one at our Roslyn Heights headquarters and the other at our Manhasset location, The Marks Family Right From the Start 0-3+ Center. Groups of our children and teen clients water, seed and weed the organic beds, and they’re filled with joy when they see the vegetables grow.
Teens from our Wilderness Respite Program also worked at Fox Hollow Farm with Larry and Heather, learning even more about gardening. Another benefit: Since much of the produce the kids harvest is donated to local food pantries and organizations such as Island Harvest, they experience the pride that comes from helping others.
Through their work in the garden, kids who were shy and insecure developed self-confidence and made new friends. They learned leadership and team-building skills. Tending the garden and watching it grow intensified their sense of wonder and curiosity.
And there’s more. Gardeners achieve a natural state of calm and focus called mindfulness. “Though people often associate it with meditation, mindfulness doesn’t require hours of prayerful silence or chanting mantras,” says Malekoff. “Mindfulness at its core is about staying in the present, moment by moment, to feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations and the surrounding environment.”
Mindfulness is an inherent part of the experience of gardening; it gives kids new ground to stand on, both literally and figuratively, embracing their senses of sight, smell, sound, touch and taste. Mindfulness in nature calms the brain, allowing for reflection and healing, and it’s also great for the body.
Gardening helps kids connect to the Earth, to each other and, yes, even to their parents. Young children will be in awe as you show them the fruits (and vegetables) of your joint labor. If your teens are reluctant to work with you, expose them to tools that they can begin to master—and don’t be surprised if they end up joining you in the garden.
Note: Portions of this story originally ran in Anton Media, where Andrew Malekoff writes the Parenting Plus column.
