by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 14, 2018 | Blog
Whether you send cards, chocolates, flowers or none of the above, don’t think of Valentine’s Day as a commercial holiday or one that is only for lovers. Any occasion focused on the expression of feelings of love for the people who are important to you presents a perfect opportunity not only to strengthen emotional bonds but also to boost mental health.
Close, loving relationships have numerous positive effects on the mind and body. Though it’s not a cure-all, studies have shown that love helps decrease stress, depression and anxiety. It also helps improve self-esteem and, consequently, self-care such as healthy eating and exercise.
Research also indicates that high levels of social bonds may result in better prognosis in such conditions as cancer, heart attacks and other illnesses. And the reverse is also true: studies of mortality consistently show that people with the lowest level of involvement in social relationships are more likely to die sooner than those with greater involvement.
So, love—and the wonderful endorphins it produces— is truly a many splendored thing.
Following are some tips on how to spread the love this Valentine’s Day—and just about any day of the year!
- Write your partner, children or other loved one a note saying what you love most about them.
- Be a hugger! Not only will it make you feel closer to the “huggee,” but it will also boost your immune system.
- If you don’t already have one, consider getting a pet. There’s nothing better than coming home to a being who is full of love and affection for you and your family.
- Are you intrigued by meditation? There’s a particular kind, called loving-kindness, that is a wonderful way to heighten your connections not just with those you love but with the world at large.
- And remember, if you are alone this Valentine’s Day, don’t despair. Treat yourself to a favorite activity, whether it’s a bubble bath or some binge watching of your favorite TV show. Loving yourself, as well as loving others, is key to a happy, healthy life. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Where there is love, there is life.”
Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150158/
https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/mood-disorders/the-positive-effects-of-love-on-mental-health/article/401655/
https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging
http://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2011/07/cats-dogs.aspx
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 9, 2018 | Anton Media, In The Media
From Anton Media, Feb.7, 2018
Remembering without awareness is a phrase I really like. It suggests the retrieval of a memory that escapes conscious awareness.
Recently, I passed the 20-year mark without either parent, and many more years without grandparents. One grandmother, Annie, died before I was born. I was named after her. The other, Jenny, died when I was too young to remember her. My grandfathers, Harry and Joseph, died a few years later, still during my childhood years, but I have memories of both of them.
Each had disabilities and prostheses. Both of Grandpa Harry’s legs were amputated as the result of diabetes. Grandpa Joe lost his eye as the result of a carpentry accident. Their disabilities were never hidden from me. I went with my dad and Grandpa Harry when he had his prosthetic legs fitted. Grandpa Joe regularly took his eye out and showed it to me on request. I used to wonder if I would have artificial parts when I got older.
In my first year of graduate school in 1976, I was assigned to intern in a program called “Aged in Distress.” It was a crisis intervention program for older people. I made home visits to people with physical and mental disabilities, as well as one woman who was bedridden and terminally ill.
Although my primary interest in becoming a social worker was to work with children and teenagers, I was surprised at how much I liked working with older people. I was 25 at the time. Thinking back, it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to me. Sometime after the internship, I realized that I was remembering without awareness the short time I had with my grandfathers.
Now I know that my early memories and recollections, whether I am consciously aware of them or not, influence how I feel about and relate to others in the present. As a child who experienced my grandfathers’ lives and deaths, I wasn’t conscious of the fact back then that one day I would be dealing with my parents’ aging, illnesses and deaths.
My father had cancer and my mother had heart and kidney problems. I traveled often from my home on Long Island to New Jersey to help care for them, some of that time at the same hospital in Newark where I was born in 1951.
One memorable evening—which also happens to have involved artificial body parts—was the time my mother fell and was taken to the hospital. She called me at 2 a.m. and said, “Andy, will you bring my Polident to the hospital?” Broken arm and bruised face, all she could think about was what she needed to keep her dentures in place so that she would look good.
I took the 90-minute drive from Long Beach to Newark at 2:30 am, retrieved her tooth powder from the medicine cabinet in her home, headed to Beth Israel hospital, spent a few hours with her and drove back to Long Island with enough time to make it to my office for work.
Although the trip was inconvenient, I was aware all along that one good turn deserves another. Both my mother and father took time caring for their parents when they aged while also caring for me and my brother. It is these kinds of life lessons that seep into your unconscious and define the person you become, with many generations to thank.
By Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families.
Published in the Anton Media Group papers, Feb. 7, 2018.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 8, 2018 | Blog
Recently, a sixth-grade girl was seen through North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Triage & Emergency Unit, which offers a rapid response to psychiatric emergencies. She was being cyberbullied by some boys in her school who were spreading the untrue rumor that she was pregnant. The abuse had gotten so bad that she was expressing suicidal thoughts.
Abusive behavior among teens and pre-teens is nothing new, but in the age of technology, abusers have a new tool that can spread their hurtful, hateful messages like wildfire. But whether it’s through social media or in person, the problem is extremely damaging to its victims, and can even turn deadly.
“The goal of perpetrators of verbal and physical abuse is to make their partners feel worthless so they can be controlled,” says Elissa Smilowitz, Director of Triage and Emergency at the Guidance Center. “The abuser, who often has low self-esteem, is threatened by any sign of independence from their significant other, and that jealousy causes them to engage in physical, sexual, psychological and/or emotional violence.”
February has been designated as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, which acknowledges how serious and widespread a problem this is. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, among high school students who dated, 21% of females and 10% of males experienced physical and/ or sexual dating violence. In addition, 1 in every 5 students between the ages of 11 and 14 say their friends are victims of dating violence, with nearly half experiencing verbal abuse.
Common warning signs of dating abuse include:
Checking cell phones, emails or social networks without permission
Extreme jealousy or insecurity
Constant belittling or put-downs
Explosive temper
Isolation from family and friends
Making false accusations
Constant mood swings towards you
Physically inflicting pain or hurt in any way
Possessiveness
Telling someone what to do
Repeatedly pressuring someone to have sex
Though such behaviors are clearly unacceptable, it can be difficult to convince a teen that their partner is being abusive, according to Smilowitz. “We have to help them come to the conclusion on their own that this is an unhealthy relationship and that it’s OK to seek out help. Through individual and group therapy, we can help give them the strength and tools to recognize that their relationship is toxic and learn what a loving, respectful relationship is like.”
Smilowitz advises parents to monitor their kids’ social media usage, and to keep an open dialogue. “If you notice changes in behavior, such as isolation and depression, ask them directly what’s going on. They need to know you are there to listen to them without judgment.”
If you are concerned that your child or teen may be the victim of abuse, call North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. We guarantee to see you within 24 to 48 hours.
You can also call the 24-hour hotline at the Safe Center LI at (516) 542-0404.
Sources: www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teen_dating_violence.html
https://nrcdv.org/dvam/home
http://www.breakthecycle.org/warning-signs
![The fight for parity]()
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 5, 2018 | In The Media, Project Access
By: Adina Genn, Long Island Business News, February 2, 2018
On Long Island, a mother with “Cadillac level” medical benefits struggled to get her child counseling when all of the professionals she called on the North Shore said they don’t take insurance. A father with equally good medical coverage resorted to driving upstate to get his child therapy for the same reason.
These scenarios are not unique, as revealed in a yearlong study produced by North Shore Child Family Guidance Center, a children’s mental health agency headquartered in Roslyn Heights. Through its initiative, “Project Access,” the organization is exploring the challenge of providing timely, affordable mental health treatment and addiction care. It aims to pinpoint obstacles to accessing care and bring about change.
“The landscape for providing community-based mental health and addictions care has changed dramatically during the last decade,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of North Shore Child Family Guidance Center. “At the same time that the New York State government has focused most of its attention on Medicaid recipients, middle class families with commercial health insurance have been all but brushed aside.”
Concerns about access to treatment come at a time of a growing need for care. More than 43 million Americans have faced a mental health challenge and more than 20 million grappled with substance abuse, while more than 8 million struggled with both. That’s according to “Pain in the Nation: The Drug, Alcohol and Suicide Epidemics and the Need for a National Resilience Strategy,” a joint study by Trust for America’s Health and Well Being Trust, which looked at figures from 2006 to 2015.
And while federal law established in 2008 requires insurers to provide the same level of mental health and substance abuse services as physical health services, that parity has yet to come to fruition.
Substandard rates of reimbursement
“Fewer and fewer providers accept commercial health insurance,” Malekoff noted. “Why? Because they pay substandard rates of reimbursement, well below the Medicaid rate.”
These findings are similar to those of other experts. According to a 2017 study by Milliman, a consultancy with expertise in the healthcare industry, medical and surgical providers received higher reimbursement rates than behavioral providers for comparable services. Those lower rates for behavioral providers, according to the study, led to “lower network participation by these providers,” making it difficult for people to access treatment, or to seek treatment out of network. In New York, the Milliman study found, patients were 5.8 times more likely to go out of network for care.
Out of 650 Long Islanders surveyed in the Project Access study, nearly 40 percent said their insurance providers did not have an adequate number of providers.
State Senator Elaine Phillips: ‘We need to demand change.’
Photo courtesy of the office of state Sen. Elaine Phillips
Almost half of the survey’s participants said it was more difficult to find help for mental health or substance abuse problems than finding help for physical illnesses, especially once in crisis. Two-thirds said their insurance company was not helpful when it came to finding care for themselves or a family member.
And nearly 40 percent of participants claimed that stigma and affordability were deterrents as they sought care. In addition, 23 percent said they felt that their efforts in trying to access care proved unsuccessful.
“I tried seeking mental health counseling but every time I tried getting help either my insurance wouldn’t be accepted or it was a long waiting time,” a Project Access survey respondent said. This person “was scared at first” but ultimately did get needed care.
“Unfortunately we’ve seen a lot of lack of progress, a lot of noncompliance from the insurers and, in many cases, not enough enforcement by state or federal regulators,” Henry Harbin, an advisor to the Parity Implementation Coalition and former chief executive of Magellan Health Services, told Marketplace, a program produced by American Public Media.
A push for change
Across the nation, leaders are pushing for change. For example, this week, former U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy was in Spokane, Washington, supporting mental health parity.
And on Long Island, leaders are asking Gov. Andrew Cuomo to launch a full-scale investigation of “network adequacy,” which requires that health insurers maintain adequate numbers of providers as a condition of their license.
“The Project Access report is a damning indictment of where we are with mental health and addictions care in our state today,” state Sen. Todd Kaminsky, D–Long Beach, said. “We’re not in the 19th or even 20th century. We have to do better.”
“We now have the data when we write to our government and state agencies,” said state Sen. Elaine Phillips, R–Flower Hill. “We need to demand change so people get the support they deserve.”
In January, Kaminsky and Phillips described Project Access’ “startling results” in a joint letter to Maria Vullo, the superintendent of New York State Department of Financial Services.
They said it is “imperative” that the state “conduct(s) a thorough investigation to determine why insurance companies are not being held accountable for network adequacy.” And, they added, “failure to properly treat mental health issues feeds into the opioid epidemic we experience in society today.”
As Malekoff explained in an email to friends and colleagues, the disparity “is a civil rights issue and a matter of life and death.”
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 1, 2018 | Blog
By Andrew Malekoff
Today is the beginning of Black History Month, when we honor the lives and stories of black heroes, both well-known and not so well-known. And in just a few days, most TVs in America will be tuned to Super Bowl 2018.
What’s the connection? I had the privilege two years ago of meeting a true hero: Dr. Bennet Omalu. He was the keynoter at the Head Injury Association’s Awareness Sports Forum at the Hyatt Regency Long Island.
In 2002 Dr. Omalu discovered the presence of degenerative disease in the brain of National Football League player Mike Webster. He named the brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy, known as CTE. His discovery has proven to be a powerful pebble that has generated waves throughout the troubled waters of youth, college and professional football, as well as other contact sports.
Dr. Omalu was portrayed by Will Smith in the 2015 film Concussion, based on his book of the same name. Prior to that, he was prominently featured in the public affairs television program Frontline and in the book, League of Denial: The NFL, Concussions and the Battle for Truth.
Although the focus of the head injury forum was to raise awareness to protect school-aged athletes from concussions, Dr. Omalu transcended his role as a forensic scientist, inspiring an audience of several hundred people with his deep faith and fortitude.
He began his remarks by recalling that he was born in war-torn Nigeria and describing how he suffered as a child from malnutrition. He revealed that, “Because of the consequences of war, I became a weakling and introvert who was ridiculed.”
The turning point in his life came, he remembered, when he realized that “with knowledge you can do all things.” This realization ignited what became a lifetime thirst for learning and quest for truth. In fact, he has earned eight degrees and certifications.
Dr. Omalu explained that both science and faith seek truth. The role of faith, he said, “is the manifestation of things we do not see,” which was the case with Mike Webster and the rest of the world. Dr. Omalu said that it was his deep faith in humanity that led him to wonder about the cause of Webster’s destitution, deterioration and death, and, to “speak” to Webster’s spirit during the autopsy.
“Whatever happens to the least of us happens to all of us,” he told the rapt audience in Hauppauge; and, “what we do for the least of us, we do for all of us.” And, so began his spiritual relationship with the deceased Mike Webster.
Omalu has faced enormous obstacles as a scientist. He shared that he was smeared by the National Institute of Health, which said he was not a reputable doctor. And he was also defamed by the NFL, which did all they could to stonewall his discovery and disassociate the notion that repeated blows to the head were the cause of a degenerative brain disease that led to the premature deaths, including suicides, of scores of former players and counting.
Dr. Omalu spoke to the challenge of working in a context of “conformational intelligence” which he explained as when one’s “mind conforms to the expectations of society” and not necessarily the truth. “How does conformational intelligence hold down a society?” he asked.
This amazing man—who portrayed himself as an “outlier,” someone who operates outside of the box—concluded his remarks by stating, “One person can ignite a fire that can light the entire forest.”
We owe Dr. Omalu a debt of gratitude for his discovery and for his quest for truth, against all odds.
We must demand that those in power in youth, interscholastic and intercollegiate sports protect our children; and we must help our children, from an early age, to think critically and to develop the good sense and courage, without shame, to speak the truth and break the silence.
Bio: Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org
