by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Nov 7, 2017 | Anton Media
Anton Media’s Long Island Weekly, Parenthood Plus by Andrew Malekoff
In New York it is illegal to use a handheld cellphone while driving. Although drivers have the option to use hands-free devices, studies show that talking or texting on any cellphone while driving is so mentally distracting as to suggest it is a serious safety hazard. Nevertheless, not a day goes by that I do not see drivers talking on both hand-held and hands-free devices. Safety aside, what does all this chatter in the car portend about one’s ability to be alone?
More than 50 years ago Clark Moustakas, a psychologist and the author of the existential study Loneliness, wrote, “Being alone, for me, usually means an opportunity to think, imagine, plan. I choose to be alone because I desire to be quiet for awhile to consider aspects of my life. It is usually a tranquil time of self-expression and self-renewal.”
Can you remember a time when a solitary ride in the car offered such an opportunity, to simply be alone with your thoughts, feelings and sensations—maybe with your favorite soundtrack playing in the background?
We now live in an era when, because we are plugged in 24-7, the simple pleasure of being alone is something that we avoid. For many people, young and old, aloneness is a source of discontent. Why? Are we afraid that it might lead to loneliness?
Loneliness is not just about a lack of companionship but an inner sense of being alone, regardless of the external circumstances—of feeling lonely even when with friends or family.
I believe that the recent popularity of mindfulness—a mental state achieved by directing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly noticing and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations—is a counterforce to the busy-ness of our perpetually plugged-in lives.
As if to foreshadow the current era of mindfulness, Moustakas said, “Loneliness anxiety is a widespread condition in contemporary society. The individual no longer has an intimate sense of relatedness to the food he eats, the clothing he wears, the shelter which houses him.”
According to Maria Gonzalez, an author and corporate executive whose most recent book is Mindful Leadership, 9 Ways to Self-Awareness, Transforming Yourself, and Inspiring Others, “The daily commute is a great opportunity to train the mind.” She recommends practicing simple techniques, repeatedly, to train the mind in three areas:
1. To be more focused and better able to concentrate;
2. To experience more clarity in our thinking and decision-making; and
3. To approach all of life with a sense of balance, whereby we can “go with the flow” when a situation cannot be changed in the moment.
“The idea,” Gonzalez says, “is that you are continuously aware of three things: your body, what you see and what you hear. This is what it is to be mindfully present as you drive. Do your best to stay present for the entire commute.”
Although it seems elementary, it’s not as easy it sounds. As your mind wanders you may have the impulse to check your phone, or give in to some other distraction. When that happens, intentionally pull yourself back.
Like all things worth mastering, being mindful takes practice. As you do this you are preparing yourself to be present, to be at ease in your own company and, at the same time, you’re making the road a safer place for us all.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. Visit www.northshorechildguidance.org to find out more.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Nov 7, 2017 | In The Media
from Blank Slate Media
From left, Andrew Malekoff, Regina Barros-Rivera, Russell and Marilyn Albanese, Carol and Andrew Marcell, Nancy and Lew Lane. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center was proud to announce that its annual gala, “Under the Stars,” raised more than $430,000 to support the Guidance Center’s work to restore and strengthen the emotional health and well-being of children and families on Long Island.
More than 220 guests attended the event, enjoying a wonderful evening of delicious food, musical entertainment provided by New York, New York Dueling Pianos, a silent and live auction.
The honorees this year were Marilyn and Russell Albanese. Marilyn, a new member of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors, has been volunteering for the Guidance Center for several years, working to support and educate young mothers at the Leeds Place location.
Both Marilyn and Russell hold the mission of the Guidance Center close to their hearts. They shared the story of when they had a teen girl from Haiti who needed surgery and who was staying at their home. “The Guidance Center had someone who spoke Creole, and she was a tremendous help to our entire family and our guest,” said Marilyn.
The Albanese family
“We are delighted that the Guidance Center’s ‘Under the Stars’ gala was a grand fundraising and friendraising event,” board president Nancy Lane said. “The Board of Directors is thrilled that Marilyn and Russell Albanese agreed to be our 2017 honorees. This year’s co-chairs, Carol and Andy Marcell, pulled out all of the stops to help make this year’s event a real standout.”
The money raised at the event will help the Guidance Center continue its many innovative programs and services, with no one ever turned away for inability to pay.
“The financial success of the Gala is essential to our continuing to extend the Guidance Center’s reach to thousands of children and families that call on us in their hour of need,”executive director Andrew Malekoff said. “It was a fun and festive evening and a prime example of neighbor helping neighbor to bring hope and healing to vulnerable children.”
From left, Frank and Rita Castagna with Chris and Jack Bransfield. (Photo courtest of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
Source: The Island Now
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Nov 2, 2017 | Blog
Taking care of someone with an illness, whether it’s a mental or physical one, can feel overwhelming at times. At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we recognize the stress that comes with the role of caregiver, and we run several support groups to help caregivers get the help they need.
Sometimes what’s needed most is just a safe place to talk about your feelings with others who can relate to what you are going through; other times, it’s getting more concrete help, like finding qualified professionals who can relieve some of the burden so you have time to take care of yourself, or learning about how to advocate for your child at school.
One of our programs, Caregiver Grandparent Respite and Support Program, or C-GRASP, offers help to grandparents who are the primary caregivers of their grandchildren. With the assistance of other local entities, we provide them with a variety of services, including counseling, clothing, food, housing assistance and transportation.
“If a parent, grandparent or other caregiver has no time to spend on their own needs, they’re likely to have a much harder time dealing with the child or teen who may require a high level of supervision,” says Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “We realize what a stressful situation this can be, and consider it part of our role to make sure that these caregivers have the support they need.”
Groups are a great source of help, he adds. “We all need affirmation, support and understanding. In a group there is no need to put on airs or to pretend to be someone one is not in order to gain acceptance.”
And, of course, there are times when caregivers are nourished by solitude. “Such moments can generate creative expression—expression for no reason but to satisfy one’s soul,” says Malekoff. “Music, art or writing can provide much-needed respite from the daily stress of caregiving.”
Following are 10 tips provided by the Caregiver Action Network:
- Seek support from other caregivers. You are not alone!
- Take care of your own health so that you can be strong enough to take care of your loved one.
- Accept offers of help and suggest specific things people can do to help you.
- Learn how to communicate effectively with doctors.
- Caregiving is hard work so take respite breaks often.
- Watch out for signs of depression and don’t delay getting professional help when you need it.
- Be open to new technologies that can help you care for your loved one.
- Organize medical information so it’s up to date and easy to find.
- Make sure legal documents are in order.
- Give yourself credit for doing the best you can in one of the toughest jobs there is!
To learn more about our programs and services, call (516) 626-1971 or click here.
Sources:
http://caregiveraction.org
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Oct 30, 2017 | In The Media
Senator Elaine Phillips recently attended the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s 2017 “Under the Stars” Gala.
“The North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is an essential resource in our community for children struggling with mental health conditions,” Senator Elaine Phillips said. “I applaud the Center’s committed staff for working tirelessly to help restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children. Thank you to the Center for inviting me to this year’s wonderful “Under the Stars” Gala, and congratulations and thank you to this year’s honorees, Marilyn and Russell Albanese, for your gracious support of the community’s children.”
The North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety, developmental delays, bullying, teen pregnancy, sexual abuse, teen drug and alcohol abuse, and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce.
Published on https://www.nysenate.gov/newsroom/press-releases/elaine-phillips/senator-phillips-attends-north-shore-child-family-guidance
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Oct 25, 2017 | Blog
Halloween is just days away, and kids of all ages are gearing up for the festivities. Before your children go trick or treating, here are 10 tips on how to make sure they are safe and sound as they celebrate the candy-filled holiday.
- Children 11 and under should not trick or treat at night without an adult. If they are old enough to go out without a grownup, they should go with a group and remain in well-known, well-lit areas.
- Remind them NOT to use their cellphones for texting while they’re trick or treating. They should keep their heads up and their eyes focused on where they are walking, not on the tech gear!
- Teach kids to be extra careful of cars; they should never dash from one side of the street to another, and instead cover one side at a time.
- Adults should drive extra carefully on Halloween, both during the day and in the evening. You can’t count on youngsters to follow the rules, so slow down! Be especially careful when pulling into or out of your driveway.
- When it comes to costumes, the lighter the color the better. It will make them much easier to see when it gets dark. For extra safety, add reflective tape or stickers to their costumes or trick-or-treat bags, or have them wear or carry glow sticks or a flashlight.
- Nontoxic makeup and face paint are better than masks, which can block your child’s vision. Test the makeup a day or two ahead of time to make sure there are no allergies.
- Check that shoes fit securely and costumes are not too long, to prevent tripping.
- Speaking of tripping, remove hoses, garden tools, bikes and other possible hazards from your front lawn and porch.
- Though candy tampering is rare, go through your kids’ candy before allowing them to eat it; throw away anything with a tear in the wrapper or that is homemade; and set limits on how much candy per day can be consumed.
- 10. Keep pets indoors and away from the front door. It’s especially important to bring your black cat inside, since they are at an even greater risk of harm.
Sources:
www.safekids.org
https://www.aap.org
