Guidance Center Welcomes New Board Member, Long Island Business News, April 22, 2022
Guidance Center In-Person Lunch Set for April 28
Published in Long Island Business News, April 18, 2022
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will host its annual spring luncheon – this year in-person – on April 28, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Glen Head Country Club.
After a cancelled 2020 event and a virtual 2021 luncheon amid COVID, this year’s event continues to raise funds to support the organization at a time of “heightened anxiety and depression among children and teens,” according to the organization.
The day includes mahjong, canasta and bridge, as well as boutique shopping for jewelry, clothing, accessories and housewares.
Keynote speaker is Leg. Josh Lafazan who has passed bills that address the opioid epidemic, caring for veterans and advocacy for those with disabilities.
This year’s spring luncheon co-chairs are Jan Ashley, Amy Cantor and Alexis Siegel.
Photo: This year’s spring luncheon co-chairs are Jan Ashley, Amy Cantor and Alexis Siegel.
Guidance Center Luncheon Back
Ask the Guidance Center Experts
This story will be published in Blank Slate Media newspapers in April 2022
Helping Your Child Through Divorce
In this monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email communications@northshorechildguidance.org.
Question: After much discussion, including couples therapy, my husband and I have decided to divorce. We both know it’s the right thing to do, but we’re very worried about how our kids (we have two girls and a boy, 5, 8 and 10) are going to handle it. Can you offer some advice on how we can best support them during this difficult time?
— Splitting Up
Dear Splitting Up:
The rise in divorce rates in the pandemic period show that you and your husband are far from alone: In 2021, the COVID-19 crisis triggered a nearly 21% increase in divorce filings compared with the previous year.
Whenever there is a separation or divorce, there is no way around the fact that your children will be impacted in profound ways.
And, while divorce doesn’t have the same stigma it did years ago, it still is a difficult event in a young person’s life.
The dissolution of their parents’ marriage can create enormous stress for youngsters. Divorce can be devastating to the children’s feelings of safety, causing fear of abandonment and fear of losing a parent’s love. The result: Anxiety, depression and low self-esteem are common.
Guilt is often another problem, as many children blame themselves for the divorce, believing that it is somehow their fault and that if they had just been “good,” the separation never would have happened.
In addition, many parents make the mistake of talking negatively about their ex-spouse in front of their children. This upsets them because they see their parents as their caretakers, and they need to feel safe and supported by both of them.
When parents put their kids in the middle of their battles, the children struggle with issues of loyalty. Even if they are very caring parents, they may do things inadvertently that cause distress to their child, such as asking the child to talk with the ex-spouse about a change in weekend plans instead of dealing with the adult directly.
Here are some tips on how to help your children deal with divorce:
- Be supportive, reassuring your kids that both of you will always love them and be there for them.
- Encourage them to speak to you openly about all their feelings, and validate that those feelings are normal and completely acceptable.
- Learn how to co-parent the children so there is no confusion on discipline. Rules about bedtime, homework and the like should remain consistent.
- Never talk negatively about the other parent in front of the children.
- If possible, show a united front by attending events like back-to-school nights, games and other activities together.
- Let their teachers know about your separation so they are on the lookout for any troubling behaviors from your children.
- Foster the relationships your children have with your ex’s family so they don’t feel the loss of those attachments.
- Consider placing your child in a therapeutic group so they don’t feel like they are alone in their experience. Many schools have programs like “Banana Splits” offered by school-based social workers.
- Be sure to get support for yourself through this process through friends, family members and professional therapy, if needed.
Remember, the post-divorce relationship with your ex-spouse is perhaps the most important factor in how well your children handle the matter, so do your best to get along for their sake. Knowing that they are loved no matter what by both of you is the most important message. During the pandemic, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is seeing clients both in person and remotely via a telehealth platform. To make an appointment, call (516) 626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org.
Understanding the Effect of Burnout in the Age of COVID-19
By Kelly Christ, guest blogger
The COVID-19 pandemic has had a staggering impact on nearly every aspect of our lives, but one of the pandemic’s most notable and long-lasting effects has been the increasing rates of burnout in the United States. While burnout—a type of exhaustion caused by exposure to prolonged or repeated stress—is often discussed in the context of the workplace, it can affect everyone. From office employees to students to caregivers, burnout is taking a significant toll on our mental health.
Traditionally, burnout is understood in relation to stress at work. In 2019, the World Health Organization first declared workplace burnout a “stress syndrome.” The symptoms include “feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion” and “reduced professional productivity.”
But burnout in settings other than the workplace has drawn further attention in the past two years. Caregiver burnout is described as a state of “physical, emotional and mental exhaustion.” When schools transitioned to remote learning in 2020, many parents and caregivers struggled with a sense of burnout due to the added responsibilities at home. Psychology Today notes that burnout often occurs when someone “is not in control of how a job is carried out.” The lack of control that we have all experienced amid the pandemic’s unpredictability is likely a major cause of increasing rates of burnout.
School Pressures Can Create Burnout
Students of all ages are also facing academic burnout, especially alongside the challenges of remote learning and the other emotional burdens brought on by the pandemic. But it’s not a new experience. Even before the pandemic, high school students felt a heightened weight on their academic performance in the face of the college admissions process. Similarly, college students felt that their career opportunities and future success might be hindered by any academic difficulties.
One of the most troublesome parts of burnout is that we often do not recognize it when it is building within us. Caregivers are often so focused on those dependent on them that they neglect to pay attention to their own well-being, instead prioritizing the needs of others. Similarly, students may prioritize their productivity and responsibilities, even outside of the normal school day or week, and they don’t take time to rest.
However, by prioritizing our productivity and neglecting our mental and physical well-being, we often sabotage the very productivity we sought to protect. Once stress transforms to burnout, the negative impact on productivity is inevitable. For caregivers, the old adage of caring for yourself before caring for others is important to keep in mind. We must help ourselves to help others.
The Need for Self-Care
One of the most important ways to prevent burnout is to regularly engage in self-care. Though we often see self-care portrayed in the media as expensive skincare products or a rigid exercise program, the most effective methods are often the simplest. By identifying small activities that bring you the most joy, you can find simple ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine.
This may mean choosing to listen to your favorite song on your commute to work, going for a morning run, or calling a loved one at the end of the day. The easier it is to include in your schedule, the more likely it is that you will make it a true habit.
In a similar vein, mindfulness can help to prevent burnout by reducing stress and improving boundaries between yourself and your work. Thirty-minute mindfulness exercises such as meditation or journaling can be added to a daily routine relatively easily. However, these exercises are not for everyone. Mindfulness can be incorporated, instead, into the activities in which you already engage. Mindfulness, above all, is a heightened sense of awareness and presence. To increase this, you may decide to put your phone away while eating lunch so you can focus solely on your meal or to take a walk without listening to anything but the sounds s of nature around you.
Emotional self-care, above all else, must bring you joy. It should not feel like yet another burden or responsibility to bear. Allow yourself to think outside of the box. Self-care does not look the same for everyone.
As we continue to navigate our lives amid the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is important that we take this as an opportunity not to panic about the impact of burnout but instead to prioritize self-care and overall well-being. This awareness of burnout, ultimately, will serve as a time of revolution and innovation in work, caregiving, academics and all other aspects of our lives.
Bio: Kelly Christ is a guest blog writer originally from Manhasset, NY. Kelly is currently studying social work at Fordham University’s Graduate School of Social Service in New York, NY. She received her bachelor’s degree at Fordham University at Rose Hill in 2021, where she double majored in English and Psychology. Kelly is passionate about both writing and mental health advocacy.