by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Dec 8, 2023 | Blog
By Guest Blogger Colleen Stewart
Being a parent is tons of work, so it can be easy to get overwhelmed. After all, there is a seemingly never-ending list of things to do with limited hours in a day. Thankfully, there are many cost-effective ways to stay organized as a parent, even if you have multiple kids, work full-time, and struggle to keep your home neat and tidy.
The Importance of Staying Organized
Keeping your home clean can help reduce stress and strain in many ways. According to Hope Mental Health, clutter makes you focus on things that aren’t important, taking attention away from where it’s most needed. Being disorganized can greatly reduce productivity, and we all know how it feels to get so far behind that we don’t know what the next step should be.
Tips On Staying Organized
Go Digital
Keeping digital copies of medical, school, and other records can be a lifesaver for parents. Saving these documents as PDFs makes it easier to send them to anyone who needs access to your children’s histories, such as doctors’ offices and schools. PDFs can be viewed on any device and don’t require a special operating system. There are many free PDF tools online that allow you to edit, sort, rotate, and convert your documents.
Create a Family Command Center
A family command center is a space where everyone in the house can check to find out what they have to do for the week. It could be in physical form, such as a wall calendar or bulletin board, or you could utilize your smart technology to create a list for everyone in your home.
Purge the Unnecessary
Clutter is a major cause of stress, and the best way to get rid of clutter is to donate or sell things that you no longer need. These items can be given a new life in another family, and they won’t take up space and collect dust on your shelves. The Zebra Blog offers a list of worthwhile charities to consider.
Save Time Using Meal Planning and Bulk Buying
Meal planning and bulk buying groceries are effective strategies for parents to maintain organization in their busy lives. By planning meals in advance, parents can streamline their grocery shopping, ensuring they buy only what is necessary, thus reducing waste and saving time. Bulk buying frequently used items minimizes the need for frequent shopping trips, allowing for better management of time and resources. This approach also aids in budget control, as buying in bulk often comes with savings. Furthermore, meal planning ensures a balanced diet for the family, reducing the stress of last-minute meal decisions and promoting healthier eating habits.
Other Tips
● Be creative. There is no hard and fast set of rules when it comes to being organized. The most important thing is to find a system that works for you and your family. Come up with solutions that fit your lifestyle and budget.
● Change things up. If you find that an organizational system doesn’t work, don’t be shy about changing things up. It’s okay to change course and try something new!
● Streamline your morning routine. If you have kids, your morning routine is likely hectic. By streamlining things, mornings will become that much easier for everyone in the house. Consider using a closet hanging organizer to put several days’ worth of outfits together, so that no one ever has to wonder what they’re going to wear to school, packing lunches the night before, and having backpacks set out at the front door.
Being a parent on a budget means you have to get creative in all aspects of life, and being organized is no exception. Today’s tips, from digitizing your documents to purging your home of clutter, can all help you reduce the stress caused by disorganization.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Dec 3, 2023 | In The Media, Press Releases
Published in Port Washington News on November 15, 2023
It was a night to remember at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s 70th Anniversary Celebration in 70s Style, held on October 26, 2023 at North Hempstead Country Club. The event raised over $230,000 to support the Guidance Center, Long Island’s premier nonprofit children’s mental health organization.
The evening’s music was provided by Peat Moss and the Fertilizers, who filled the air with a variety of disco and boogie hits from the 70s, staying true to the event’s theme and keeping guests on the dance floor throughout the night.
Carol Bottiglieri, the mother of a long-time Guidance Center client shared an emotional account of her son’s struggle with depression, anxiety, and substance use. “Without North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, our family would be broken today,” she shared with the audience. “Because of the therapy and support given to us by the Guidance Center, we remain a strong, united family, continuing to help my son achieve a healthy, happy, independent life.” Carol’s story brought guests to tears and received a standing ovation.
Guidance Center Executive Director/CEO Kathy Rivera proudly honored the rich history of the organization she now leads, which spans seven decades. “I stand on the shoulders of giants and would not be speaking to you all tonight without their invaluable contributions.” she said of her predecessors. “The reason we have been able to bring hope and healing to the community for 70 years is thanks to them, and to all of you who support our mission.”
Rivera also thanked the night’s emcee, Crystal Cranmore of Channel 7 Eyewitness News, as well as the sponsors and underwriters of the event: the Klipper Family Foundation; Americana Manhasset, the Jane & Martin Schwartz Family Foundation; the Jack & Dorothy Kupferberg Family Foundation; Maureen & John Ferrari; Andrea & Michael Leeds; and WABC.
Guidance Center Board President Alexis Siegel acknowledged the sad tragedies occurring throughout the world and thanked the Guidance Center for helping members of the community receive the emotional support needed. “Though we can’t change the atrocities that are happening around us, we do have a say in how we choose to respond,” she said. “The Center is a lifeline to so many families struggling to find peace and a way forward through the darkness.”
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Dec 3, 2023 | In The Media, Newsday
By Tiffany Cusaac-Smith, Published in Newsday, October 21, 2023
After giving birth to her son in March, Justine Hofsiss lay in the fetal position on a couch at her Franklin Square home unable to function.
Ringing in her ears, heart palpitations, sweating, shaking — those were among the symptoms she shared with her best friend, a nurse, who tried to provide remedies until realizing the salve might be mental health treatment.
“It was a very scary, very overwhelming time in my life, where I felt like I had no control of my body whatsoever,” said the mother of two who had already eschewed driving because of her emotions.
With a referral from the friend, Hofsiss in April turned to the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, crying in an intake call but finally hearing a voice to help make sense of her feelings after a traumatic birth and pregnancy.
“I hung up the phone and just cried because I’m like, ‘OK, this isn’t going to be forever. I’m going to be OK. I’m gonna get help,’” she said.
The North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s maternal health and wellness program is among a handful of places on Long Island working to treat pregnant people and those who have recently given birth for mental health issues such as anxiety or perinatal depression, which is common but can impact a woman’s ability to function — and even be life-threatening.
Roughly one in eight women in the United States said they experienced symptoms of postpartum depression since the birth of their babies, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Mental health conditions are the leading cause of pregnancy-related deaths, the CDC said, citing data from 2017 to 2019. That figure includes suicides and overdoses related to substance use.
In New York, mental health issues made up 15% of pregnancy-related deaths in 2018, or the third-leading cause, the state Department of Health said.
The overall number of women in the state who asked for help for depression after giving birth has steadily increased from 2017 to 2020, moving from 7.7% to 11.3%, the Department of Health said.
Meanwhile, the number of women who said a health care provider had asked them about depression symptoms at a postpartum visit moved from 76.1% in 2016 to 82.4% in 2020, the DOH said.
Childbearing is often perceived as a joyous moment, but it is also a moment of immense physical and emotional change that can leave people in anguish, experts say.
“The expectation is this should be such a wonderful point in your life,” said Dr. Sue Cohen, clinical psychologist and a clinical director at the center.
She later added: “Everyone, maybe their parents say to them, ‘Oh, you should feel so grateful you have a healthy child,’ but they’re not feeling it.”
Barriers to getting mental health care
And while in the throes of mental health ailments, many women also face barriers to getting care, including the stigma of such illness and long waits to see providers, said Dr. Brittain Mahaffey, a licensed clinical psychologist and director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy at Stony Brook Medicine.
In addition, some psychiatrists will not prescribe medication to people who are pregnant or breastfeeding out of fear of harming the child. Other times, women will forgo their prescriptions while pregnant.
The North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center maternal program seeks to be a bridge for women seeking care, taking referrals from OB/GYNs, pediatricians and word-of-mouth.
They then do a screening call to ensure the women don’t need to be taken to a hospital. Within a week of that call, the parent is seen.
“We treat it like an emergency because these moms are at risk, and the babies could be at risk,” said Cohen, later noting: “We need to make sure everyone’s safe.”
Cohen said many of the program’s clients have had a traumatic birthing experience. A depressive or anxious history is sometimes the case.
The patients go into individual therapy or with a partner. A staff psychiatrist works to provide care for women who are pregnant or have just given birth. Parents can bring their children if they come in for visits, as evidenced by the toys and children’s artwork in the offices.
The sessions usually take place over a year but can last longer.
“Some women just need a little support to get through this period and you know, are grateful that they’ve gotten this, and they can go back to their level of functioning,” Cohen said.
Anxiety after difficult delivery
While pregnant with her son, Hofsiss was hospitalized multiple times because her blood pressure spiked. During delivery, the baby’s heart rate dipped, and she was given oxygen.
After the birth, she stayed in the hospital for a week — away from her daughter, 5, and unable to adjust to everyday life.
“I had a full-blown anxiety attack because I was afraid that my blood pressure was not going to get better. It was constantly going to be high. I was never going to go home. We have this new baby now, we need to get adjusted. And my anxiety just got bigger and bigger.”
She reached out to the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, where she was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety.
There, she met a therapist who gave her strategies to promote her care and mindfulness. One of the tools that she holds close is the idea of kintsugi. The Japanese technique mends broken pieces of pottery but still shows the seams, demonstrating both beauty, imperfections and endurance.
“It’s a different version of what you were, but it’s going to be a better version. And it’s OK that it’s different than what you were used to,” said Hofsiss, who is also on medication.
Mahaffey said the stress that mothers experience before they become a parent is one of the most important predictors of depression and anxiety.
Young parents may have more stress because of financial difficulties and mothers who have had a traumatic pregnancy could be also more prone to anxiety.
“I want people to know that mental health problems don’t just magically start in the postpartum; it usually starts during pregnancy and then worsens into the postpartum,” she said.
Depression deepens during pregnancy
After struggling to get pregnant, Dhipinder Walia said she felt “embarrassed” when depression crept back up while she was pregnant.
“I always just sort of felt like something was wrong with me because it is something I was asking for. So why, why couldn’t I just figure it out?”
Walia, 35, of Lynbrook, eventually told her OB/GYN that she was depressed, only for her to be given providers who had a long waiting list.
Meanwhile, she said, her feelings of depression were stronger and deeper than when she was a teen and in her 20s.
“Whereas before I just felt like I was unable to, like, find joy in things and like, I just needed help and getting there,” she said. But this time, “it was like, physical and mental pain.”
She got mental health care only after her child was born, after she mentioned her feelings to the child’s pediatrician, who called a social worker and put her in contact with the program.
Once in therapy, Walia said she learned how not to lean into distorted thoughts or how to set herself up for a good cry when she was feeling weepy.
By 18 months into therapy, she had better structures in place, aiding her overall health and giving her a clearer sense of her purpose.
“My purpose is to, you know, be a good mom and to support folks who need support,” she said. “But, I also feel like I’ve gained a lot of confidence and … understanding — all these abilities that I didn’t ever think I could have.”
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Dec 1, 2023 | Anton Media, Blog, In The Media
By Kathy Rivera, Executive Director/CEO, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Children are always listening, even to things they may not have the ability to fully comprehend. Whether it be from social media, school, or adults in their lives, it’s inevitable that kids are hearing about the many tragedies that are occurring throughout the world today. Though a parent’s first instinct may be to shield their child from the anxiety and fear that comes with the unknown, avoiding the topic could leave their child feeling lost and helpless.
Discussing challenging world events with your children is a delicate but necessary task. By fostering trust, maintaining composure, promoting open communication, addressing social media influence, and helping children cope with anxiety, you can guide them through the complexities of the world while providing them with a safe and supportive environment. These conversations should be ongoing and adapted to your child’s age and maturity level as they grow and develop.
A foundation of trust
Children need to know that they can rely on their parents through hard times. It’s important to have a strong foundation of trust before going into any difficult conversation with your child. So, what’s the best way to do this? Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, highlights the importance of actively listening to your children. By paying attention to what they say, encouraging family conversations, and demonstrating mutual respect, you can build a strong foundation of trust. This is vital in helping your children navigate complex issues and challenges in the world.
Remain calm
Before explaining the news to children, it’s essential for parents to come to terms with it themselves. Kids are adept at picking up on adult emotions, often feeling affected by the stress, anger, and anxiety of their caregivers, so remaining composed while approaching the topic is crucial for effective communication. “Children feed into their parents’ tone, so if they give the information in a calm manner, children will know that they’re safe,” says Dr. Cohen.
Open communication
Parents should strive to understand what their children already know to gauge their exposure to external information. Get a sense of their awareness and correct any misinformation they may have encountered. Allow them to ask questions without judgment and answer them in an age-appropriate manner. For younger kids, assure them that the scary events are happening far away and that they are safe. For older children, stress the importance of finding reliable information on current events and knowing when to look away from the news.
Addressing social media
With the rise of technology and social media, kids today have unfiltered access to events happening anywhere in the world. What once could only be viewed on the nightly news or in the morning paper is now at our children’s fingertips 24/7. It is important to explain to tweens and teenagers the realities of social media. Anyone can have a platform on sites like TikTok and Instagram, which means that not everything they see is backed up by facts. Media literacy is taught in some schools, but it’s important to continue those lessons at home. Discuss the importance of finding primary sources, understanding biases, and recognizing historical context.
Dealing with anxiety
Exposure to tragic events can significantly increase anxiety levels in children, impacting their daily routine, sleep schedules, and eating habits. Dr. Cohen emphasizes the importance of maintaining regular routines, as children thrive on consistency. Encourage children to express their feelings through creative outlets like artwork and music, or by seeking support from a youth group or volunteer service. Staying mentally and physically active can significantly impact how children cope with distressing news.
Remember that support is there for your families as we all navigate this difficult time. Contact the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at 516-626-1971 if you or a loved one are struggling.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Nov 20, 2023 | Blog
The holiday season is rapidly approaching, bringing with it countless expectations of family connection, laughter, gratitude, and joy. When these idyllic visions fall short, mental health often worsens, leading many to turn to alcohol and substance use to cope. As we gather around the table to give thanks, it’s equally important to understand the link between Thanksgiving and alcohol abuse, and what we can do to prioritize well-being during the holidays.
Why do the holidays serve as triggers for alcohol and substance use?
According to NAMI, 64% of individuals living with a mental illness report that the holidays make their conditions worse, often due to the increased amount of stress the holiday season brings. People tend to feel more anxious during this time for a variety of reasons: the holiday blues and seasonal affective disorder; the pressure of gift giving and overspending; unhealthy family dynamics; and much more. Studies suggest that people experiencing high stress levels have a greater likelihood of using alcohol or substances to forget their worries. These factors, combined with the culture surrounding alcohol during the holiday season, leads to an increased risk in the urge to over consume or relapse.
Setting boundaries
Rates of binge drinking increase during every holiday, but Thanksgiving is known to be among the worst offenders. The day before Thanksgiving has even earned the nickname “Blackout Wednesday,” as it is one of the most popular days for bars in America, even rivaling St. Patrick’s Day. For those suffering with alcohol and substance use issues, Thanksgiving can prove to be a major trigger. Family members that don’t understand sobriety may encourage a drink with dinner, thinking that “just one won’t hurt.” For some, even being in the same room as alcohol can be enough to compromise progress.
In these situations, it is important to set boundaries and communicate with your family. Here are some ways you can express your intentions and stick to them at your holiday dinner.
● Host Thanksgiving yourself. Your house, your rules. By hosting, you can ensure alcohol will not be on the menu.
● Let people know ahead of time that you aren’t drinking. If you feel comfortable sharing your sobriety journey with select family members, explain how important it is that you aren’t offered alcohol.
● Be the designated driver. Giving yourself the responsibility of driving someone else home at night will further motivate you to refrain from drinking.
● Have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand at all times. Consider bringing an alcohol-free beer, wine, or juice to sip on throughout the night. Holding a beverage can deter people from offering you something alcoholic to drink, and will help lessen feelings of missing out.
● Stay busy. Offer to help with the cooking, cleaning, and serving throughout Thanksgiving dinner. This can help to keep your mind distracted and away from thoughts of alcohol and anxiety.
As the holidays draw near, it’s important to value the things we should be most grateful for: our well-being, and that of our loved ones. Understanding the triggers for overconsumption or relapse & knowing when and how to set boundaries are integral in maintaining a healthy lifestyle during the season of gratitude. If you or a loved one show signs of alcohol and substance use, call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971 or click here to get connected to our drug and alcohol treatment and prevention services. It is never too late to turn hurting into healing
