Leaving for college for the very first time is an incredibly challenging, exciting and important moment for students and their families. With so many uncertainties still surrounding college life amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the normal fears and anxieties in both incoming freshmen and their parents have been escalated.
When I first left to attend college in my freshman year, the transition from living at home to living in a new state at a school where I knew no one was a challenge. But it is a challenge that was incredibly formative in becoming who I am now. I have so much empathy for this year’s freshmen, and I recognize that just as difficult as the challenges of this year are on me as a senior, the pandemic has altered many crucial traditions and elements of freshman life.
However, regardless of the circumstance, making the decision to leave home to attend college is a major milestone for a family. It is a bittersweet moment for parents who have worked so hard to make this dream a possibility for their children. Their freshmen often feel overwhelmed in their new environment and may feel homesick, especially during the first semester.
Quarantine has made all of us experts when it comes to communicative technology. FaceTime, Zoom and other services allow us to connect over long distances. These tools can be immensely valuable to homesick freshmen and worried parents. In my own experience, FaceTiming my family allowed me to feel connected to them while being able to become fully invested in my new experiences. Being able to check in with parents, see the family pet and connect quickly make these resources the perfect way for freshmen, in particular, to reduce anxiety.
The uncertainty of college experiences this fall will also benefit from this quick communication. Students can stay in touch with their families and keep them updated on the situation, which can be stress-relieving for the students and their worried parents at home.
Taking a trip home can be a great way to relieve stress during freshman year. I encourage students to not push themselves too hard and to listen to themselves if they feel they need a break. If it is a safe and possible option, a weekend trip home can make a world of difference for a struggling freshman.
While parents will always worry about their children, it is my hope that technology will continue to connect us while we are apart. Students and families have to make the right decisions for themselves and their safety. Every student and family will navigate freshman year differently. But whether you choose to take classes remotely and stay home or choose to return to campus, freshman year is a challenge for all. It is a time to reflect on who you are and who you hope to become in the next four years.
Some of the traditional advice for freshmen about getting involved on campus may not be applicable this year. However, schools are working hard to ensure that students can continue to connect with one another and remain engaged in their community. Club meetings are being held virtually, campus newspapers are publishing on their websites, and some traditional events are being redesigned to ensure social distancing and safety while giving freshmen the chance to have some of the cherished memories of the college experience.
I want to encourage incoming freshmen to reach out to organizations on campus that they are interested in and see how they are operating in the fall. Even if things are being done virtually, it will still be an opportunity to connect with others and begin to establish a life for yourself in the school community.
Schools often remind their freshmen throughout their first semester that these will be the greatest four years of their lives. But as this pandemic has shown us, we are not able to predict the future. As someone who ended up transferring from what I thought was going to be my dream school, not every moment has to match your expectations. Often, it is the act of working through the ongoing challenges and finding small moments of pure joy that makes college as special as it is.
This is not the freshman year anyone could have imagined. But it is that unexpected reality that will forever bond this class (and all the others that have been affected). It will find joy in laughing at technology failures during online classes, sharing our fears and concerns with others to find they have just the same ones. It will make for memories that we will not forget and a gratitude like no other. We cannot predict what this fall will bring, but we can only hope for the best and be grateful for each moment.
On Thursday Sept. 10 at 7 p.m., North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center and the Great Neck Chinese Association will be co-hosting a free webinar titled “Anti-Asian Bias: What Parents Need to Know.”
“The COVID-19 pandemic has led to a substantial increase in acts of bias against Chinese Americans and other Asian-Americans around the country,” said Kevin Sun, co-president of the Great Neck Chinese Association. “And it’s happening right here on Long Island. Kids and adults are being verbally harassed, spit on and shunned in stores. It’s a very concerning situation.”
While many families have shared stories with him about these incidents of racial bias, one was particularly heartbreaking. “The parents of a seven-year-old boy told me that some kids surrounded their son on a playground, cursing at him and making anti-Chinese remarks,” said Sun. “The little boy was frightened and traumatized, and the parents were devastated to see the impact on their child.”
“The Asian-American community is facing a backlash that’s similar to what Muslims faced after 9/11,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, the region’s leading children’s mental health organization. “Pandemic-fueled harassment and violence creates lasting trauma, especially for youngsters, and all of us are responsible to stand up against these horrific attacks.”
The webinar, which will air live but be recorded for later viewing, will cover the discrimination issues facing Asian-Americans and, most important, give people resources and information that they can use if they or their children are subject to harassment.
“It’s common in our culture for people to keep quiet about these matters, especially when they are new immigrants,” said Sun, “but if we don’t know specifics about the attacks, it’s much harder to help. There are people out there who can offer assistance, whether it be the mental health professionals at the Guidance Center or legal authorities.”
State Senator Anna Kaplan, who is the first political refugee and the first Iranian-American elected to the New York State Senate, will discuss anti-discrimination laws during the webinar.
“The crisis we find ourselves in has brought out the best and worst in people, and unfortunately we have seen a significant escalation of harassment and violence against the Asian-American community fueled by anti-Asian bias and xenophobia,” said Kaplan. “As Americans, we need to rise to this occasion, and face this challenge as a family, and there is no place in our American family for hatred and bias. I’m grateful for the efforts of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center and the Great Neck Chinese Association for holding this important event to empower our community with the tools we need to deal with this crisis, and I encourage everyone to participate and be part of the solution.”
Other participants will include Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director of the Guidance Center; Christine Liu, the vice chair of the Nassau Asian American Advisory Council and a board member at the Chinese American Association of North Hempstead and Herricks Chinese Association; and ChenXin Xu, Board Member of the Great Neck Chinese Association and Founder, New York Music & Arts.
The free webinar is open to everyone. Questions will be taken during the event, or people can email questions prior to the webinar at president@gnca.org.
For more information about the Great Neck Chinese Association, visit www.gnca.org. To learn more about the services offered by the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
LONG ISLAND (WABC) — With the academic year about to begin and the debate raging whether in-person, remote or hybrid learning is best for children and staff, many parents are experiencing anxiety over how to safely proceed.
On Long Island, Noah and his little brother Ayden are holding onto summer. But their parents are feeling anything but carefree. The boys will start second grade and kindergarten, respectively, in their homes. They have siblings even younger, and older grandparents who help care for them..
“The benefit doesn’t outweigh the risk,” mom Suzanne Jaramillo said. “I think every day we would come home worried.”
For Kelly McGrath Sullivan, it’s also about risk during the pandemic.
“I can’t have those what-ifs at night,” she said. “There’s just too many of them.”
Her boys lost their father eight years ago, and they say too much is at stake now.
“I know there are other people in this situation, where you only have one parent,” son and incoming freshman Jack Sullivan said. “And I can’t go to school and bring this virus home to my mother.”
That parental anxiety swings both ways, as other parents worry what will happen if they’re kids aren’t back in school five days a week.
“For me, it’s heartbreaking because I had my child come to me and tell me he’s depressed,” mom Maria Sanders said.
Many students struggle with remote learning.
“It’s just a loss to the children,” mom Jennifer DeMos said. “They’ve wasted time, and they’ve lost learning.”
So what can parents do to get through this? Weigh the pros and cons for your own family, talk to your older kids about what they want, and ask your school district as many questions as you can.
“Another fear they have is that school opens, right, and in another two weeks, they have to shut down again,” she said. “What is that going to do to the child emotionally? And also academically?”
She also warns that parents’ anxiety is often absorbed by their children, so it’s important to help them see the positive with the negative.
As fall approaches, the return to school is weighing heavily on students and their parents alike. With the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, most schools have adopted at least a partially remote learning model for the fall semester. Families were first rushed into remote learning in March 2020 as schools quickly shut down, and many are looking to find ways to improve the experience of remote learning for the fall.
For younger students especially, remote learning can pose many challenges. Young children often struggle to remain focused on their work, and the home environment and its many distractions can heighten this difficulty.
Parents should attempt to mitigate the distractions for their children while they are doing schoolwork. Try to find a small, quiet area of the home for them to attend virtual classes and complete homework. Personalize the space (and enjoy some creative crafts!) with poster boards and decorate with name tags, stickers and school supplies for the area.
While it can be hard for parents to manage their children’s classwork alongside their own work and other responsibilities, it is important to help younger children stay on task. Familiarize yourself with the schedule your school has set up for your children to ensure they attend online classes and do not miss assignments.
For older children in elementary and middle school, parents can see this as a chance to foster their children’s independence. While, again, it is useful to be familiar with your children’s schedules, encourage them to keep track of their work themselves. Simple planners, dry-erase calendars and creative task lists can be helpful.
This age group will also likely struggle with managing distractions. Encourage your children to include fun activities in their schedules. Once their school day comes to an end and their homework is complete, use these activities, such as video games or outdoor play, as a reward for finishing their tasks.
It is also important for these children to keep in touch with their peers safely. Explore virtual options to connect with friends, including Netflix party and Jackbox Games. Weather permitting, take advantage of the outdoors to spend time with friends safely and enjoy the fresh air.
High school students will need their own space to do their work. Ensure that they have a quiet environment to attend their remote classes and work on their assignments. These students will need to stay on top of their responsibilities. With remote learning, this can be a challenging task for the most organized of students. Encourage them to maintain planners and take advantage of online resources. Google Suite offers many different services that can aid students of all ages, including Google calendar, drive and classroom. Applications for both smartphones and computers can also help to stay on track, including the Reminder app from Apple (already pre-installed on all their devices!) and Todoist.
College students are in a particularly difficult state of flux. With many schools opting for either hybrid or entirely online plans, many students are unsure of where they should choose to stay. If you are on-campus, explore the options that are safely open. Libraries and study spaces at many universities have been redesigned to ensure social distancing and adherence to safety protocols in order to remain available to students.
Whether at home or in a dorm, be sure to establish a dedicated space for studying and attending classes. Just like all the other age groups, minimizing distractions is a must. When attending an online lecture, consider putting your phone in another room and set all notifications on your computer to “do not disturb” for the class time.
Make a master list of synchronous class times, in-person class events (if you have them), asynchronous assignments and due dates, as well as the dates of any exams you have and the way in which they will be administered. Reflect on the end of last semester and the beginning of online courses. What worked for you? What did not?
Reach out to your peers, advisors and professors for advice if you find yourself accidentally falling behind. Many professors are empathetic given the turbulent situation, so try not to get too down on yourself if you slip up. You are only human, and your professors know this too. These are trying times for everyone, so remember to be kind to yourself. Just as younger kids will need dedicated time for non-school-related activities they enjoy, incorporate alone and self-care time into your schedule.
While this semester will be challenging and unpredictable, parents and students alike should attempt to stay focused and calm as best they can.
Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, expresses the challenges remote learning poses on families. “This process can be difficult for teachers and students,” she says. “In addition, the parents/caregivers might be juggling their own jobs, childcare issues, teaching their children and technology issues.”
Here are some tips from Dr. Cohen for families helping their children with remote learning:
Encourage movement – build in time for exercise and movement before and during your child’s school activities.
Reduce distractions including noise and visual clutter.
Enlist your child in setting up a designated workspace that is comfortable.
Give your child, and yourself, breaks during the day.
Particularly for young children, give immediate positive feedback like a sticker or check mark on completed work to help with their motivation.
Establish good and healthy routines in the home.
By preparing ahead of time, you will make this challenging situation a workable experience!
The North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center is pleased to announce that the nonprofit organization received a Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) from Nassau County for $147,500 to support its work serving Long Island’s communities during the pandemic crisis.
“During this most troubling and stressful time for so many families of all backgrounds, we are grateful to Nassau County for awarding us a Community Development Block Grant COVID grant,” Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, said. “It could not have come at a better time. We are seeing an increase in young people who are experiencing depression and anxiety, are at risk for suicide and other self-harming behaviors, and cannot afford to be placed on a waiting list. This funding supports our ability to offer a rapid response and quality mental health care for all families who need us regardless of their ability to pay.”
Nassau County distributed nearly $2.5 million in federal CDBG-COVID funding to 12 nonprofit partners and nine municipalities across Nassau County to provide mental health and substance abuse services, youth and senior services, and health, safety, and accessibility upgrades for local community centers.
North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, the leading children’s mental health agency on Long Island, is seeing new and existing clients via telephone and video during the COVID-19 crisis. To make an appointment, call 516-626-1971. Visit www.northshorechildguidance.org for more information.
