Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, don’t forget to focus on the traditions that bring joy and comfort to you, your children and other family members.
There are several ways in which celebrating your family’s own unique traditions are beneficial to you and your children. First, holidays typically mean the coming together of family and friends with the intention of sharing loving, happy feelings and rituals.
“The holidays are a great time to help your child connect to elders in the family,” says Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “If your child has a hobby or activity that they can enjoy with their grandparents, they can create long-lasting memories.”
Cooking was the activity that bonded Barros-Rivera’s son to his grandmother, and the joy born of those early experiences has lasted throughout many years. “He’s 28 today and loves to join the family in preparing special holiday meals. His memories of my mother are forever special, and the moments for her were priceless.”
Another great way to build connections with significant others in the family is through storytelling. “That’s a wonderful way of giving rooted, positive foundations for present and future relationships,” says Barros-Rivera. Consider videotaping these conversations so you can hold onto them when the storyteller is no longer with you.
Although your family may have many holiday traditions in place, here are six ideas for creating new special memories that will carry over for generations, courtesy of PBS.org:
Cook Together — Include your children in meal prep and baking for holiday gatherings. It’s a great way to have fun and teach kids about cooking and nutrition. While you’re cooking, you can practice math and reading skills—and demonstrate cool science concepts through various cooking techniques.
Make Holiday Greeting Cards and Gifts — Have your kids write holiday cards or letters to family and friends. It’s a great opportunity for children to practice their handwriting, as well as their grammar, spelling and creative writing skills. Also, making gifts at home is a way to encourage creativity.
Explore Your City — When you feel a bit of cabin fever, plan a family outing. Many local parks and zoos feature light displays and other festivities to celebrate the season. You can also visit a local museum and historic sites, or see a play at a local theater.
Play Games — Playing board and trivia games during holiday get-togethers is a good way to enjoy quality time together. Look for ideas online. There are a variety of games—for all ages—that are fun and educational as well.
Enjoy the Great Outdoors — Play with your kids in the backyard or at a local park. If it snows, build a snowman or hit the slopes! You can find fun outdoor games that promote physical activity.
Read Every Day — Take your kids to the local library and borrow books to read over the winter break. And spend time reading together; it helps children develop their literacy skills and excel academically.
Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or another holiday this time of year, everyone at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center wishes you a wonderful holiday season!
Catherine Castagna and Ernie Lagoja enjoyed the festivities as the Guidance Center co-hosted an event at Brooks Brothers in Manhasset.
Roslyn Heights, NY, December 12, 2019—Earlier in December, for the second year in a row, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Centerpartnered with Americana Manhasset’s Brooks Brothers store to co-host an opening night celebration of Champions For Charity®.
The event featured live jazz, great food and drink, and wonderful conversation as shoppers took advantage of the opportunity to buy beautiful items while contributing to great causes. Twenty-five percent of the pretax price on clothing sold was donated to support the Guidance Center’s mission and that of other charities.
“We’re thrilled that North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center participates in Champions for Charity®, Americana’s annual holiday shopping event benefitting over 100 not-for-profit organizations,” said Catherine Castagna, President of Castagna Realty Co. Inc. “Their dedication to helping children and strengthening families is an inspiration, and they are an indispensable resource in our community. We are proud to support their efforts.”
Since its inception in 1996, Champions for Charity® has raised nearly $14 million. Taking an active role in the community has been an integral part of the Castagna Realty Retail Group’s mission, particularly throughout Americana Manhasset’s 63-year history.
Lauren McGowan, Director of Development at the Guidance Center, said, “We’re very grateful to everyone at Americana Manhasset and Brooks Brothers. They continue to be an invaluable supporter of our lifesaving work.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
From time to time, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center has used animal assisted therapy (AAT) in its mental health treatment programs with children and teens, working in partnership with local canine and equine organizations.
In animal assisted groups, the therapist works closely with the animal handler or trainer. Think of the handler as an interpreter who teaches about the animal. The handler loves to talk about the personality of the animal and its unique qualities. They can humanize how the animals “speak” and keep appropriate boundaries.
Although using dogs is a little easier to arrange logistically speaking, there are a growing number of settings that offer equine facilitated therapy. Following is an illustration of animal assisted therapy using horses that helped build social skills and self confidence in a group of young teenagers who were identified as painfully shy or socially awkward.
After they arrived at the stables, the girls and boys sat around a table. Group work with horses mostly entails ground activities. Sitting on or riding the horses is the exception. The horses were led outside and the group members were asked, “How do the horses welcome each other? How did they say hi?” Or “Look at Rusty: he looks like he is trying to get away from the others. Why do you think that is?” This opened the door for humor, as one of the more quiet boys said, “Maybe he has B.O. or bad breath.”
The handler then said, “Oh, did you see that? Rusty tried to kick that horse. Why do you think he did that?” This led the way to some discussions about anger and aggression.
In time the process became a little more sophisticated—for example, when the teens were asked, “How do the horses communicate?” The group could see that horses are powerful animals. The handler taught them that horses are prey animals that are always on the lookout. They learned that these majestic animals are instinctual and that they don’t see straight ahead but side to side, thus the rule to always stay on their side. (And, similarly, when a group is working with canine therapy, they learn not to look a dog in the eye because he can take it as aggression.)
The handler said, “See, you stay on their side because horses look side to side to scan the horizon.” Later, they learned that approaching and petting animals is a lesson in respecting one’s boundaries.
It was all about observation and metaphor, helping the young people build their observational muscles and reflect on what they saw and sensed. The activities were both direct and yet metaphorical in nature.
After a while the group members were asked, “Which horse do you want to spend some time with and why?” One group member said, “I’ll take Rusty; he’s a little shy but I think he is a tough horse and nobody’s gonna mess with him.”
Some of the teens we work with are immigrants from Central America, who escaped treacherous circumstances, and being with the horses brought back fond memories and staked a little claim to fame for them in the group. For example, Maria shared, “I know something about this. My family has horses. That one over there looks sad.”
The handler then talked about the “sad” horse’s history. Many of the horses were adopted and/or donated. This piqued the kids’ interest as the horse’s experience became a metaphor for their own dislocations and transitions. These issues were explored in a subtle, sensitive manner whereby the participants could project their feelings and experiences on the horses in an emotionally safe way.
By working with horses or dogs, children and teens learn many lessons, among them the importance of expressing their emotions, the ability to bond (both with the animal and with the other kids) and ways to keep calm and decrease stress. It’s a profound experience that can have lasting positive effects.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To learn more about the Guidance Center’s innovative programs, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
In this episode of Well Said, we’re talking about something that many may think of more as ancient history than contemporary health – the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth. Sadly, deaths related to child delivery still occur and happen at higher rates in the United States than in most other countries in the developed world. Our guests will help us understand just how risky pregnancy and childbirth are today, and why.
Special thanks to Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell first-year students Joy Achuonjei and Alec Xiang for research and production support for this program.
Are you anxious about hosting the perfect holiday dinner? Do you worry that your kids will be disappointed that they didn’t get the newest iPhone? Tell the truth: Is all of the pressure to be jolly making you miserable?
While the holiday season is a time for family togetherness and celebration, it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year. The notion that you’re supposed to be happy can make it even more difficult time for people of all ages, especially those who experience depression or other mental health challenges.
Below are some tips from experts at the Mayo Clinic on how to prevent stress from ruining your holidays:
Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect. As families change and grow, traditions often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all of your expectations. And be understanding if others get upset when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress, too.
Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
Try these alternatives:
Donate to a charity in someone’s name.
Give homemade gifts.
Start a family gift exchange.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity.
Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt.
Try these suggestions:
Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
Get plenty of sleep.
Incorporate regular physical activity into each day.
Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do.
Some options may include:
Taking a walk at night and stargazing.
Listening to soothing music.
Getting a massage.
Reading a book.
Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Remember: The best thing you can spend on your kids is time, so don’t stress about getting them every last thing on their wish list.
Happy holidays from all of us at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center!
