Just the other day I was reminded that May marks the anniversary of one of the saddest trending tweets in Twitter history. The reminder was a photo posted on Instagram of a girl holding a cardboard sign. The girl looked to be 13 or 14 years old. The sign read: If I die in a school shooting, leave my body on the steps of Congress.
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting was first tweeted a year ago, after 22 school shootings up to that point in 2018. Number 22 happened at Santa Fe High School in Texas on May 18, 2018, just a few months after the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, when a gunman killed 17 students and staff members and injured 17 others.
At Santa Fe, 10 people—eight students and two teachers—were fatally shot. Thirteen more were wounded.
As we mark the first anniversary of #IfIDieInASchoolShooting, the “statistics” have climbed. Eight school shootings have taken place on high school or college campuses in 2019 through the month of May. So far.
In a piece on the trending hashtag written by India Pougher for ELLE Magazine four days after the Santa Fe shooting, she wrote, “Students began tweeting…and sharing the things they would miss out on if their lives were taken too soon. The answers range from leaving their loved ones behind to never graduating college and never getting married.” Here are some of the tweets:
Please make school shootings die with me — @madhavids
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting don't release pictures of my smiling face. release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. politicize my death
Don’t release pictures of my smiling face. Release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. Politicize my death — @hmc823
#IfIdieInASchoolShooting then I’ll never get to publish my book, celebrate my sweet 16, get married, or see my children grow to be wonderful people.
Protect my little sister so she can stop “learning to hide from the bad guy” — @robinisme16
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change
— jaxon // great mills strong (@jaxonomara) May 20, 2018
My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change — @jaxonomara
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless I wouldn’t achieve my dream If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another
My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless. I wouldn’t achieve my dream. If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another — @TAKENBYDEMA
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me.
I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me — @beachwonders
One adult saved me the trouble of writing a conclusion, when he tweeted:
— Steven Beschloss (@StevenBeschloss) May 22, 2018
If I Die In A School Shooting is the saddest hashtag I’ve ever read — @StevenBeschloss
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
NEW YORK (1010 WINS) — The World Health Organization will list video gaming as a behavioral addiction for the first time.
An official vote by the World Health Organization was made for the latest edition of its International Classification of Diseases, or ICD, to include an entry on “gaming disorder” as a behavioral addiction.
According to WHO, in roder for gaming disorder to be diagnosed, “the behavior pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months.”
“Similar to other addictions, like with drugs or alcohol, a lot of time is spent thinking about ‘When is the next game,” Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center told CBS2.
NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – Popular, controversial, and now – according to the World Health Organization – video games have just been recognized as a behavioral addiction.
According to Pew research, 97 percent of teen boys and 83 percent of girls play games on some kind of device. Now, videogaming is an internationally recognized addiction, according to the WHO.
Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center told CBS2’s Jennifer McLogan the International Classification of Diseases now includes an entry on “gaming disorder” as a behavioral addiction.
“Similar to other addictions, like with drugs or alcohol, a lot of time is spent thinking about ‘When is the next game,’” Malekoff said.
Studies show those vulnerable are unable to stop playing, even when it interferes with their lives.
Some experts suggest rather that going cold turkey on technology, focus on reduction. Keep devices out of the bedroom, make sure young people go to school, spend time with friends, and play outdoors, McLogan reported.
Not everyone is caught in a gaming web. The New York Institute of Technology is one college in our area that offers students a major in game design and development.
“There’s a lot companies looking for engineers, computer science engineers, to code their websites to stay ahead of the esports curve,” said Elieser Duran, head coach of e-sports at NYIT. “Here at NYIT, making sure all pieces are in place, so the moment they graduate they can get a job in the industry that is flourishing right now.’
Rep. Peter King says gaming is a legitimate issue to explore.
“I think its important to have hearings on it, to see if there is a role for legislation, to educate the public, get it out there, bring in the experts,” King said.
He says putting down devices more often is a good start.
Doctors say until the U.S. psychiatric profession agrees with the World Health Organization that gaming addiction is an official diagnosis, it will be difficult to bill insurers for treatment.
Does spending time outdoors as a child improve mental health as an adult? According to a new European study published in the International Journal of Environmental Health Research, exposure to nature—or what the researcher calls NOEs, for natural outdoor environments—does, indeed, lead to better mental health for youngsters as they grow into their adult years.
The study found that, “Compared to high levels of childhood NOE exposure, low levels of childhood NOE exposure were significantly associated with lower mental health scores in adulthood.”
For several years, the Guidance Center has been not only touting the benefits of nature for children’s mental health, but also incorporating experiences in nature into our therapeutic methods.
Case in point: Our two organic gardens—one at our headquarters in Roslyn Heights and the other at our Marks Family Right From the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset—where we see children blossom as they learn important skills such as self-confidence, focus, cooperation and responsibility.
“One of the most critical things for kids we work with is to help them build a sense of belonging, mastery and competence,” says Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “Working in a garden helps children develop self-esteem as they witness what their hard work and dedication can create, and it’s also a way for them to connect with other kids.”
The Guidance Center also has a “Nature Nursery” at our Right From the Start Center, where our youngest clients use all their senses as they play in a sandbox, touch the leaves and pine cones, produce musical sounds on percussive instruments, draw on a chalkboard or paint on an outdoor “canvas.”
The various textures, sounds, smells and sights in the Nature Nursery help children explore their creative sides, share their feelings and learn skills to help them calm down when they are feeling upset or agitated.
Our teen clients reap the benefits of nature through our Wilderness Respite Program, in which they go on hikes to various natural settings and develop important traits such as individual growth, leadership, self-esteem, social bonds and improved communication.
With spring in full bloom, do your kids—and yourself—a favor: Unplug and explore some of Long Island’s fabulous parks, beaches, gardens and playgrounds. These are experiences they’ll remember long after the latest computer gadget is in the junk pile.
For many generations, popular music has played a significant role in the lives of young people. Although it seems quaint now, the uproar over Elvis and his gyrating pelvis or the Beatles and their long hair was a real source of contention among the youth of the 1960s and their parents. But in that same generation, music played a central role in important events like the anti-war movement and the struggle for Civil Rights.
Fast forward several decades to today, and the least of a parent’s concern is long hair or seductive dancing (though “twerking” isn’t something you want to see your kids doing). From pop music to hip hop to heavy metal to RAP, some lyrics have gone far beyond being merely suggestive to downright graphic in nature. Some feature violent images, misogynistic lyrics and the promotion of drug use, with many songs talking about getting high. Others encourage suicide.
One popular band, Pierce the Veil, says the following in its song “Dive In.”
Do you remember the knife I kept? The sharper it got, the more you wanted me to use it I was lying to you, but you were lying too So what’s left to do? What’s left to say? Stop making friends, just us I’ll decompose with you So light the fuse inside your brain and We will detonate
In his song “So Much Better,” Eminen raps, “I got 99 problems and a b*tch ain’t one / She’s all 99 of ’em; I need a machine gun.”
And those are just two examples (and hardly the most disturbing). Plus, the content of videos can be even worse.
Professor Katrina Skewes McFerran, Head of Music Therapy, Melbourne Conservatorium of Music, University of Melbourne, makes the point that kids aren’t passive recipients of music; they are “active agents” when it comes to their interactions with music.
“Most healthy young people will naturally use music in really positive ways – to explore different aspects of their identity, to have a great time, to motivate them to exercise, to distract them from problems, to cover up outside noises so they can focus on homework,” she says. “But if young people are feeling bad, they’re more inclined to use music to deepen in to dark feelings. This can be great for validation and helping them feel understood—but sometimes it goes wrong, and it actually intensifies negative feelings.”
Brooke Hambrecht, LMSW at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, says she often talks with her clients and their parents about how the music we listen to impacts our mood. “Sometimes teenagers who are down and depressed choose to listen to sad or negative music, which brings their low even further down,” she explains. “Also, kids who are feeling angry and enraged often choose to listen to a song that intensifies their rage.”
Although listening to music is a coping skill, Hambrecht encourages her clients to choose the right kind of music in order for it to be an adaptive coping skill. “Something I talk about is mindful song selecting, or picking music that can bring their mood to a better place—the place they want to be instead of the negative place that they are,” she says.
Here are a few tips to help you talk to your kids about music:
Encourage your child’s love of music—it can be a powerful emotional and creative force in their lives.
Suggest your kids create a “good mood” playlist of songs that make them happy.
Start talking about music with your child from a very young age rather than just when they become tweens or teens. The lessons you teach them when they are young will impact their future choices.
Do keep an “ear” out for the lyrics in the music they are listening to, and if it contains messages that you deem unacceptable, discuss it with them rather than just telling them to stop listening it or criticizing it.
The takeaway: Let the lyrics that you find offensive or worrisome open a conversation about the fact that drugs, alcohol, violence and suicide are not subjects that should be glamorized.
