When Emily (not her real name) first came to North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, she was experiencing anxiety and depression that was largely caused by her fear of coming out to her family.
Her fears weren’t unfounded. “Her parents were very disapproving and would not accept their daughter’s bisexuality,” explains Elissa Smilowitz, LCSWR and Coordinator of Triage & Emergency Services at the Guidance Center. “It was devastating to Emily, as it is to any youth who experiences that kind of rejection.”
Emily and her parents had individual and family counseling at the Guidance Center, and, though it took some time, her parents came to understand that their daughter needed their love and support, not their condemnation. Their relationship is now solid, and Emily knows she can be herself with her family without risking judgment.
According to Smilowitz, the Guidance Center has seen a significant increase of young people who either identify as LGBTQ or who are questioning their sexuality.
“Kids who are 12 or 13 are at a time in their lives when they are discovering who they are, and for some, that brings up issues surrounding their sexual preferences,” she says. “They are discovering who they are in so many ways.”
While it’s a normal phase, some parents have a very hard time with it, but if they act upset or angry, it can be very detrimental to their children’s mental health, she says. Rejection leads to serious issues such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse and even suicidal thinking or actions.
The best response to this questioning phase is clear: Express unconditional love and acceptance. “Whether or not an adolescent ends up identify as LGBTQ or not doesn’t change the fact that parents need to be calm and supportive,” says Smilowitz. “Tell them you will love them the same no matter what.”For help with these and other issues, contact the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. Another great resource on Long Island is The LGBT Network, an association of non-profit organizations working to serve the LGBT community of Long Island and Queens throughout their lifespan. It includes a group specifically for young people, called the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY).
According to the Human Rights Campaign’s report, Growing Up LGBT in America, a survey of more than 10,000 LGBT-identified youth ages 13-17:
4 in 10 say the community in which they live is not accepting of LGBT people.
They are twice as likely as their peers to say they have been physically assaulted, kicked or shoved.
26% say their biggest problems are not feeling accepted by their family; trouble at school/bullying; and fear to be out/open.
Over one-half (54%) say they have been verbally harassed and called names involving anti-gay slurs.
Among non-LGBT youth, 67% report being happy while only 37% of LGBT youth say they are happy.
LGBT youth are more than twice as likely as non-LGBT youth to experiment with alcohol and drugs.
92% say they hear negative messages about being LGBT. The top sources are school, the Internet and their peers.
Krevat Cup winner Troy Slade with Guidance Center staff and supporters
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center once again hosted a joyful fundraising event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner program at their 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic.
The event, which was held on June 3 at the beautiful North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, raised $140,000 to support the Guidance Center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year, the event honored the amazing staff of mental health professionals at the Guidance Center. “As they say, it takes a village, and the people who are at the heart of our work healing children and families are an incredible team,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center. “Whether they are social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, family advocates or others, they are devoted to providing the most compassionate care for every child, teen or family member who walks through our doors.”
This year’s speaker was Jennifer Pearlman, a licensed mental health counselor at the Guidance Center who received her B.A. in psychology from Queens College and her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from Brooklyn College. Pearlman shared the inspiring story of one of her young clients who came to her depressed and anxious, but after completing treatment told her, “Miss Jen, you gave me my life back.”
Pearlman described her experience as a social worker as “being there for people in their most vulnerable and desperate times in their life. It is supporting people through crisis. It is empowering people to become their best selves. It is teaching skills and helping people access their inner strength, even when they don’t feel they have it. It is being a safe space for people to share their most intimate thoughts and fears. And it is giving permission for people to express their emotions without fear of judgment.”
Once again, the co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Michael Schnepper and board members Michael Mondiello and Troy Slade. In addition, Dan Donnelly, who was the outstanding emcee, and board member Andrew Marcell shared the auctioneer’s block.
“It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime supporter of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
Event raises $140,000 to support children’s mental health agency
Roslyn Heights, NY, June 6, 2019—North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, once again hosted a joyful fundraising event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner program at our 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic. The event, which was held on June 3, 2019 at the beautiful North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, raised $140,000 to support the Guidance Center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year, the event honored the amazing staff of mental health professionals at the Guidance Center. “As they say, it takes a village, and the people who are at the heart of our work healing children and families are an incredible team,” said Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “Whether they are social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, family advocates or others, they are devoted to providing the most compassionate care for every child, teen or family member who walks through our doors.”
This year’s speaker was Jennifer Pearlman, a licensed mental health counselor at the Guidance Center who received her B.A. in psychology from Queens College and her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from Brooklyn College. Pearlman shared the inspiring story of one of her young clients who came to her depressed and anxious, but after completing treatment told her, “Miss Jen, you gave me my life back.”
Pearlman described her experience as a social worker as “being there for people in their most vulnerable and desperate times in their life. It is supporting people through crisis. It is empowering people to become their best selves. It is teaching skills and helping people access their inner strength, even when they don’t feel they have it. It is being a safe space for people to share their most intimate thoughts and fears. And it is giving permission for people to express their emotions without fear of judgment.”
Once again, the co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Michael Schnepper and Board Members Michael Mondiello and Troy Slade. In addition, Dan Donnelly, who was the outstanding emcee, and Board Member Andrew Marcell shared the auctioneer’s block. “It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime supporter of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; trauma; and family crises stemming from illness, death and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Just the other day I was reminded that May marks the anniversary of one of the saddest trending tweets in Twitter history. The reminder was a photo posted on Instagram of a girl holding a cardboard sign. The girl looked to be 13 or 14 years old. The sign read: If I die in a school shooting, leave my body on the steps of Congress.
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting was first tweeted a year ago, after 22 school shootings up to that point in 2018. Number 22 happened at Santa Fe High School in Texas on May 18, 2018, just a few months after the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, when a gunman killed 17 students and staff members and injured 17 others.
At Santa Fe, 10 people—eight students and two teachers—were fatally shot. Thirteen more were wounded.
As we mark the first anniversary of #IfIDieInASchoolShooting, the “statistics” have climbed. Eight school shootings have taken place on high school or college campuses in 2019 through the month of May. So far.
In a piece on the trending hashtag written by India Pougher for ELLE Magazine four days after the Santa Fe shooting, she wrote, “Students began tweeting…and sharing the things they would miss out on if their lives were taken too soon. The answers range from leaving their loved ones behind to never graduating college and never getting married.” Here are some of the tweets:
Please make school shootings die with me — @madhavids
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting don't release pictures of my smiling face. release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. politicize my death
Don’t release pictures of my smiling face. Release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. Politicize my death — @hmc823
#IfIdieInASchoolShooting then I’ll never get to publish my book, celebrate my sweet 16, get married, or see my children grow to be wonderful people.
Protect my little sister so she can stop “learning to hide from the bad guy” — @robinisme16
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change
— jaxon // great mills strong (@jaxonomara) May 20, 2018
My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change — @jaxonomara
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless I wouldn’t achieve my dream If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another
My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless. I wouldn’t achieve my dream. If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another — @TAKENBYDEMA
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me.
I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me — @beachwonders
One adult saved me the trouble of writing a conclusion, when he tweeted:
— Steven Beschloss (@StevenBeschloss) May 22, 2018
If I Die In A School Shooting is the saddest hashtag I’ve ever read — @StevenBeschloss
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
NEW YORK (1010 WINS) — The World Health Organization will list video gaming as a behavioral addiction for the first time.
An official vote by the World Health Organization was made for the latest edition of its International Classification of Diseases, or ICD, to include an entry on “gaming disorder” as a behavioral addiction.
According to WHO, in roder for gaming disorder to be diagnosed, “the behavior pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months.”
“Similar to other addictions, like with drugs or alcohol, a lot of time is spent thinking about ‘When is the next game,” Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center told CBS2.
