Less Stuff, More Love

by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 26, 2019 | Blog

Does your child beg you for the latest version of the iPhone, or the hottest videogame, or even an outrageously priced handbag from the latest designer?

“Our kids are growing up in a world where what you have is sometimes seen as more important than who you are,” says Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “It’s the job of parents and other role models to teach children what truly matters: things like their ability to be kind, respectful, grateful and adventurous.”

What are parents up against in their quest to make their kids have a deep sense of self-worth because of who they are and how they treat people rather than because of what they own? The onslaught of advertising is quite a formidable opponent in trying to battle consumerism. According to The Nielsen Company, kids ages 2-5 spend more than 32 hours a week in front of the TV screen, while 6-11 year olds spend about 28 hours a week. And those statistics don’t factor in time spent on computers or smart phones or other media platforms.

“Child advertising may impact self-esteem, making kids feel inferior to their peers if they do not have the latest products seen in commercials,” says Malekoff.

But there is some good news for those who are disgusted by the overload and the manipulative nature of the ads that try to turn our kids into voracious consumers. According to the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC), Senators Ed Markey and Josh Hawley have recently proposed the strongest restrictions on marketing to children in more than two decades. Their bill, which we was designed with the CCFC’s help, would:

• Ban all targeted marketing to children under 13. That means advertisers can’t use kids’ locations, interests, browsing habits or anything else about them to target them with ads.
• Hold companies like YouTube, Instagram and Snapchat accountable for profiting off of the millions of underage children that regularly use their sites.
• Give teens important new privacy protections.
• Create a kid-focused division at the Federal Trade Commission to enforce these new rules.

In addition to voicing your support for this bill, you can follow some of CCFC’s suggestions on how to reclaim childhood from corporate marketers:

1. Carve out commercial-free time. Make creative and outdoor play the norm. Have family nights for games, projects and other fun.
2. Limit screen time. Pediatricians recommend: A. NO screen time for kids under two; B. Time limits for older kids; C. Keep bedrooms screen free.
3. Reclaim your school. Work with friends and educators to limit (or eliminate) advertising in your community’s schools.
4. Call out the worst corporate offenders on social networks and blogs. Share commercial-free alternatives.
5. Learn more. Hold discussion groups, film viewings and book groups at your school, library or place of worship.
6. Choose commercial-free. Buy toys, food and clothing from companies that do not market directly to children. Avoid companies that do.

As Malekoff says, “When you’re deciding how to spend your money, think about giving your children richness of experiences instead of a wealth of stuff. Most of all, give them your time and attention. They will value that more than anything they can buy in a store.”

Sources:

https://commercialfreechildhood.org/blog/its-happening-new-bill-will-ban-targeted-marketing-kids-online

https://commercialfreechildhood.org/resource/ten-things-you-can-do-reclaim-childhood-corporate-marketers

https://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/news/2009/tv-viewing-among-kids-at-an-eight-year-high.html

Profile: Elissa Smilowitz, Head of Triage & Emergency

by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 22, 2019 | Blog

At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, our staff includes some amazing social workers who give their all to help children and teens who are suffering from a host of mental health challenges. Their goal is to move them from hurting to healing.

That mission is a heartfelt one for Elissa Smilowitz, a senior staff member who started at the Guidance Center in 2001. Her first role was as a psychiatric social worker at our middle school Intensive Support Program (ISP), one of the three Nassau B.O.C.E.S. schools where we provide extensive mental health services to students having difficulties succeeding in a typical school environment.

“In the ISP, the children and teens have a significant history of psychiatric and behavioral difficulties,” says Smilowitz. “A lot of the work involves educating parents regarding the needs of their children and validating the struggles they have trying to work with their home school districts to get the accommodations their kids require.”

Smilowitz flourished in that role, and in her sixth year was asked to become the coordinator of the Guidance Center’s high school ISP at Nassau B.O.C.E.S. in Wantagh. “All three of the Guidance Center’s ISP programs take a wrap-around approach, working with the family, the school, psychiatrists and case management services to help these children and teens succeed,” she says. “It really does take a village.”

She adds, “We strongly encourage the parents that the goal of ISP is to have their children become independent. Parents and kids feel very supported by this program, and that’s very rare.”

For all kids, no matter their age, she adds, the most important thing is to focus on making them feel accepted and loved for who they are. “So many of them have been labeled as ‘problems’ for so long that they view themselves through that negative lens,” she says. “In ISP, we work with them, along with their families, so they stop identifying themselves by their challenges and instead feel proud of their strengths. They learn the academic and emotional skills needed to go to college or thrive on whatever path they choose.”

After a total of 11 years with the ISP, Smilowitz began working at our main headquarters as the Coordinator of Triage and Emergency Services. In this critical role, she heads up a team that responds rapidly to help children who are in need of immediate, intensive outpatient care due to their at-risk behaviors.

“Many of the adolescents in this program are in danger of suicide and self-harm, and they have a significant decline in their everyday functioning,” she says. “The goals of the program are to encourage them to learn healthy coping skills, stabilize their mood and decrease the need for emergency room visits or in-patient hospitalizations. It’s a team approach of outpatient services that you don’t get anywhere else.”

A Mother’s Passion

Smilowitz didn’t start her career planning to be a social worker. For 30 years, she worked with her husband in the hardware business that they owned. But even during that time, as a young mother the seeds of her future career took hold.

“When my kids were younger, they had learning disabilities,” Smilowitz says. “Even though my son aced his tests, homework was difficult for him.”

Her son was found to have a motor skills disability, which impacted his academic ability—and his self-esteem. “Back then everything was writing, not typing on a keyboard,” she says. “Once his issues were clear, he got accommodations that helped him move from failing to getting ‘A’s in school.”

The problem was rooted in genetic issues, she explains, and her other son and daughter had similar issues. She learned how to advocate for their needs—and she took that knowledge and began volunteering to attend special education meetings with other parents who were new to the process.

“I wanted all kids to get the help they needed to feel better about themselves,” she says. “Parents don’t always know what kind of services their children are entitled to, and I felt it was my calling to help other parents understand the system.”

Once her son went to college, Smilowitz decided to go back to school to get her Masters in social work—and that decision has not only given her a career that she loves, but given many children and families the kind of support that can change lives.

The mission of the Guidance Center is one that Smilowitz embraces. “Working in such a holistic way is very aligned with my beliefs and my desire to help children and families improve their lives and destinies. I’m so proud of the work of the Guidance Center.”