by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 21, 2019 | In The Media
Are you ready for a fun-filled day of shopping, delicious dining and your favorite games? Then mark your calendars for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s eagerly anticipated annual spring luncheon.
This year’s event will be held at the Glen Head Country Club on Wednesday, April 17 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Clubhouse, which includes a beautiful ballroom, cozy living room area and spacious card room, is the perfect setting for a fun-filled afternoon.
For those who love to play, the day will open with mahjong, canasta and bridge. Or, if those popular games are not your cup of tea, you can jump right in and start shopping at the unique boutiques, which will feature items from some of Long Island’s trendiest and most charitable small business owners, including Buy the Bag, Club & Country, Dash, I Thrive, Transitions and RFC Fine, among others. The jewelry and apparel are always favorites, but just as chic are the fashionable purses, accessories and housewares. There will also be plenty of opportunities to participate in raffles for luxury prizes, including a $500 gift certificate to Americana Manhasset.
The event will include a gourmet luncheon featuring the talents of Glen Head Country Club’s master chef.
Registration is now open and sponsorships are available by visiting the Guidance Center’s website, www.northshorechildguidance.org, or calling 516-626-1971, ext. 309.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 21, 2019 | In The Media
Every media outlet from Twitter and Facebook to CNN and the New York Times is abuzz with the latest scoop on the college admissions cheating scam.
It’s not surprising that a scandal of this magnitude is big news, but when you add in the fact that well-known celebrities have participated and have even been arrested — well, it’s no wonder that the media and the public are less focused on possible cuts to social security than on this latest frenzy.
Most stories have concentrated on how wealthy parents from Hollywood and beyond used their money and power to have admission tests taken on behalf of their children.
These parents also used an intermediary who created a fake charity to bribe college coaches and other school officials so their kids could apply to schools as recruited athletes, despite the fact that they had little or no athletic ability.
In short, corrupt means were used by parents to gain college admittance to select schools, including some of the most competitive in the nation.
While the stories are largely focused on the parents — especially the famous ones — little has been said about how their actions impact their offspring.
As someone who has spent his entire career working with children and their families, I’m left to wonder: Is there redemption for the student beneficiaries of their parents’ nefarious actions?
It has been presumed, in most if not all cases, that the students were unaware that their parents made payoffs to the schools.
Regardless, there are profound implications for the students that might include them wondering if they have disappointed their parents or failed to live up to their expectations.
I have always been a firm believer that all young people on their path to adulthood are faced with two burning questions: “Will I ever fit in?” and “Will I ever be any good at anything?”
The first question suggests the need for belonging and the second the need for mastery.
Psychiatrist and author Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, spoke about individuals having “the means to live, but no meaning to live for.”
What meaning will the young people that were dishonestly admitted into leading colleges have to live for as the truth really sinks in? How long before a Twitter-storm buries them as they come face-to-face with the reality that everyone belongs on campus but them?
According to Frankl, meaning can be found by being authentic in your interactions with others; giving something back to the world; and changing one’s attitude when faced with a circumstance that you cannot change.
Beyond the bullying of electronic finger pointing, for the young people who were the recipients of the parents’ corrupt largesse, where do they go from here? And, why should we care about them?
I believe we should care because there are lessons to be learned for any child that uncovers and discovers family secrets that leave them wondering what is real in one’s life.
I am going to take a leap to say that the students who gained false admittance to colleges will become demoralized as reality sinks in. Demoralization may include feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, as well as a sense of alienation and inability to cope.
These kids will need help in developing a reality-based sense of mastery consistent with some experiences of success in the real world.
Rather than seeing them as only privileged and spoiled rich kids, we should root for them to transcend this adversity, which is admittedly not the same as child growing up amid poverty and violence.
Still, we should pull for their lives to find a new and better trajectory than might have emerged from the corrupt actions of their parents.
We all benefit from all our kids’ success.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 18, 2019 | Press Releases
Event will feature Mahjong, Canasta, Bridge, great shopping and more
Roslyn Heights, NY, March 18, 2019 — Are you ready for a fun-filled day of shopping, delicious dining and your
favorite games? Then mark your calendars for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s eagerly
anticipated annual Spring Luncheon!
This year’s event will be held at the elegant Glen Head Country Club on Wednesday, April 17 th from 10 a.m.
to 2 p.m. The Clubhouse, which includes a beautiful ballroom, cozy living room area and spacious card room,
is the perfect setting for a fun-filled afternoon.
For those who love to play, the day will open with Mahjong, Canasta and Bridge. Or, if those popular games
are not your cup of tea, you can jump right in and start shopping at the unique boutiques, which will feature
items from some of Long Island’s trendiest and most charitable small business owners, including Buy the Bag,
Club & Country, Dash, I Thrive, Transitions and RFC Fine, among others. The jewelry and apparel are always
favorites, but just as chic are the fashionable purses, accessories and housewares. There will also be plenty of
opportunities to participate in raffles for luxury prizes, including a $500 gift certificate to Americana
Manhasset.
The event will include a fabulous gourmet luncheon featuring the talents of Glen Head Country Club’s master
chef.
Registration is now open and sponsorships are available by visiting the Guidance Center’s website,
www.northshorechildguidance.org or calling 516-626-1971, ext. 309.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family
Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth –
age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational
rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment,
prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and
families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual
abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For
more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and
compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information
about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 14, 2019 | In The Media
A recent study issued by the Pew Research Center reports that a majority of teenagers (59 percent) have experienced some kind of cyberbullying. The most common forms of harassment cited are name-calling and rumor-spreading.
Other examples of cyberbullying against teens are: receiving explicit messages they didn’t ask for; continuous asking about their whereabouts, what they are doing and who they are with by someone other than a parent; physical threats; and having explicit images of them shared without their permission.
The surveys were completed in 2018 by 743 teens and 1,058 parents living in the U.S. An equal number of boys and girls reported that they were harassed online. The vast majority of teens surveyed believe that online harassment is a problem and do not believe that tech companies, teachers and, least of all, politicians are capable of adequately addressing the problem.
Although New York State has put legal muscle into the fight against bullying in schools with the Dignity for All Students Act, it is not enough to tackle this social problem. No amount of legislation and no penalties for intimidating schoolyard behavior, no matter how severe, can guarantee that children will be safe at all times in, or outside of, school. In fact, the majority of cases that we see at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center involve anxiety and depression, and of those, a large number of kids and teens report that they are being cyberbullied.
It is no wonder that the teens who responded to the survey rate lawmakers as the least helpful in combating cyberbullying. On May 7, 2018, First Lady Melania Trump launched her “Be Best” campaign to address online behavior and support children’s emotional well-being. Although this is a noble cause that she has chosen to champion, politically-motivated bipartisan cyberbullying among adults has been flooding social media at a frenzied pace. Some incite violence.
For example, most recently, a political consultant who was indicted by a grand jury on a number of charges, including obstructing a congressional investigation, posted a threatening photo on Instagram of the federal judge assigned to his case. The image was of the judge’s face with a rifle scope’s crosshair just above her head.
At the same time teenagers have little faith in adults’ ability to address the problem, they expressed more confidence in parents’ ability to tackle cyberbullying. According to pediatrician Larissa Hirsch, “If you discover that your child is being cyberbullied, offer comfort and support. Talking about any bullying experiences you had in your childhood might help your child feel less alone.” Dr. Hirsch continues by suggesting you should make sure your child understands that he or she is not at fault, and that it reveals more about the bully’s nature than their own.
If you decide to report a case of cyberbullying to your child’s school, be sure to tell your child in advance and develop a plan that is comfortable for both of you. Save or take screenshots of any messages that are threatening as evidence and advise your child not to retaliate as that could lead to an escalation of the situation.
If your child is the bully, Dr. Hirsch recommends, “Talk to your child firmly about his or her actions and explain the negative impact it has on others. Joking and teasing might seem harmless to one person, but it can be hurtful to another.”
Finally, be a good role model by demonstrating positive online habits yourself.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. Visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Mar 14, 2019 | Blog
It’s not uncommon for people to flippantly make comments that they or someone they know has OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder, simply because they like things to be very neat, or they are uncomfortable being around people who are sick. But there’s a real difference between having a mild tendency to have some recurring thoughts to being truly obsessive about it.
“It is common for everyone to have intrusive thoughts at times,” explains Dr. Reena Nandi, Director of Psychiatry at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “But it’s when these thoughts and compulsive behaviors interfere with your life that it may merit the diagnosis of OCD.”
OCD, which is a form of anxiety disorder, has a neurological basis, says Dr. Nandi. “With OCD, anxiety is the driving force that causes persistent, disturbing thoughts, images or fears,” she says. “Those thoughts cause repetitive, compulsive behaviors, which are attempts to relieve the anxiety.”
Some of the most common obsessions that children with OCD have are fears that bad things will happen to them or others; concerns that they will hurt others or be hurt; and excessive worrying about germs, sickness and death.
OCD Statistics
OCD equally affects men, women and children of all races, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds. In the United States, about 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children have OCD. According to the World Health Organization, OCD is one of the top 20 causes of illness-related disability worldwide for individuals between 15 and 44 years of age. Source: beyondocd.org/ocd-facts
A list of common compulsions includes excessive washing or cleaning; arranging things in a particular order; repeating lucky words or numbers; frequent confessing or apologizing; repetitive checking (for example, that a door is locked); and continually asking for reassurance that everything is going to be alright.
The reality is that, while these repetitive actions are attempts to ease anxiety and thus might work for a short period, they don’t really “cure” the anxiety at all, says Dr. Nandi. “Compulsive behavior creates a cycle that tends to get worse and worse. While it might start with frequent hand-washing, for example, if it’s true OCD, it will escalate to the point where someone may refuse to leave their house for fear of being exposed to germs, or they may wash their hands so much that their skin begins peeling off.”
That is the case with one of the clients of Laura Mauceri, an LMSW at the Guidance Center. “This teenage girl is very nervous about germs and washes her hands so much that they are raw,” says Mauceri. “She keeps her room spotless to the point of changing her sheets every few days, and she doesn’t allow anyone—ever her mother—to go into her room.”
With OCD, often the compulsive behavior is directly related to the unwanted thoughts, as with Mauceri’s client who is afraid of germs and thus washes compulsively. Other times, someone with OCD may perform rituals that have no apparent connection to the fear, such as tapping on a table or counting to 100 over and over again to keep themselves or their family safe from harm.
The good news is that there is treatment for OCD. One of the most frequently used protocols is “Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy,” in which the client is exposed to the triggering thought, behavior or situation and rates their anxiety on a scale of 1 to 100. Over the course of their treatment, they gradually learn how to decrease their stress level by slowly increasing the amount of time they can tolerate the thoughts without acting out the compulsion. In addition, medication can often be a useful part of the treatment plan.
If your child is exhibiting symptoms of OCD or other mental health challenges, we can help. Please call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971.
Sources:
http://beyondocd.org/ocd-facts
https://kids.iocdf.org/professionals/md/pediatric-ocd/
