A recent study issued by the Pew Research Center reports that a majority of teenagers (59 percent) have experienced some kind of cyberbullying. The most common forms of harassment cited are name-calling and rumor-spreading.
Other examples of cyberbullying against teens are: receiving explicit messages they didn’t ask for; continuous asking about their whereabouts, what they are doing and who they are with by someone other than a parent; physical threats; and having explicit images of them shared without their permission.
The surveys were completed in 2018 by 743 teens and 1,058 parents living in the U.S. An equal number of boys and girls reported that they were harassed online. The vast majority of teens surveyed believe that online harassment is a problem and do not believe that tech companies, teachers and, least of all, politicians are capable of adequately addressing the problem.
Although New York State has put legal muscle into the fight against bullying in schools with the Dignity for All Students Act, it is not enough to tackle this social problem. No amount of legislation and no penalties for intimidating schoolyard behavior, no matter how severe, can guarantee that children will be safe at all times in, or outside of, school. In fact, the majority of cases that we see at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center involve anxiety and depression, and of those, a large number of kids and teens report that they are being cyberbullied.
It is no wonder that the teens who responded to the survey rate lawmakers as the least helpful in combating cyberbullying. On May 7, 2018, First Lady Melania Trump launched her “Be Best” campaign to address online behavior and support children’s emotional well-being. Although this is a noble cause that she has chosen to champion, politically-motivated bipartisan cyberbullying among adults has been flooding social media at a frenzied pace. Some incite violence.
For example, most recently, a political consultant who was indicted by a grand jury on a number of charges, including obstructing a congressional investigation, posted a threatening photo on Instagram of the federal judge assigned to his case. The image was of the judge’s face with a rifle scope’s crosshair just above her head.
At the same time teenagers have little faith in adults’ ability to address the problem, they expressed more confidence in parents’ ability to tackle cyberbullying. According to pediatrician Larissa Hirsch, “If you discover that your child is being cyberbullied, offer comfort and support. Talking about any bullying experiences you had in your childhood might help your child feel less alone.” Dr. Hirsch continues by suggesting you should make sure your child understands that he or she is not at fault, and that it reveals more about the bully’s nature than their own.
If you decide to report a case of cyberbullying to your child’s school, be sure to tell your child in advance and develop a plan that is comfortable for both of you. Save or take screenshots of any messages that are threatening as evidence and advise your child not to retaliate as that could lead to an escalation of the situation.
If your child is the bully, Dr. Hirsch recommends, “Talk to your child firmly about his or her actions and explain the negative impact it has on others. Joking and teasing might seem harmless to one person, but it can be hurtful to another.”
Finally, be a good role model by demonstrating positive online habits yourself.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. Visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
It’s not uncommon for people to flippantly make comments that they or someone they know has OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder, simply because they like things to be very neat, or they are uncomfortable being around people who are sick. But there’s a real difference between having a mild tendency to have some recurring thoughts to being truly obsessive about it.
“It is common for everyone to have intrusive thoughts at times,” explains Dr. Reena Nandi, Director of Psychiatry at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “But it’s when these thoughts and compulsive behaviors interfere with your life that it may merit the diagnosis of OCD.”
OCD, which is a form of anxiety disorder, has a neurological basis, says Dr. Nandi. “With OCD, anxiety is the driving force that causes persistent, disturbing thoughts, images or fears,” she says. “Those thoughts cause repetitive, compulsive behaviors, which are attempts to relieve the anxiety.”
Some of the most common obsessions that children with OCD have are fears that bad things will happen to them or others; concerns that they will hurt others or be hurt; and excessive worrying about germs, sickness and death.
OCD Statistics
OCD equally affects men, women and children of all races, ethnicities and socioeconomic backgrounds. In the United States, about 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children have OCD. According to the World Health Organization, OCD is one of the top 20 causes of illness-related disability worldwide for individuals between 15 and 44 years of age. Source: beyondocd.org/ocd-facts
A list of common compulsions includes excessive washing or cleaning; arranging things in a particular order; repeating lucky words or numbers; frequent confessing or apologizing; repetitive checking (for example, that a door is locked); and continually asking for reassurance that everything is going to be alright.
The reality is that, while these repetitive actions are attempts to ease anxiety and thus might work for a short period, they don’t really “cure” the anxiety at all, says Dr. Nandi. “Compulsive behavior creates a cycle that tends to get worse and worse. While it might start with frequent hand-washing, for example, if it’s true OCD, it will escalate to the point where someone may refuse to leave their house for fear of being exposed to germs, or they may wash their hands so much that their skin begins peeling off.”
That is the case with one of the clients of Laura Mauceri, an LMSW at the Guidance Center. “This teenage girl is very nervous about germs and washes her hands so much that they are raw,” says Mauceri. “She keeps her room spotless to the point of changing her sheets every few days, and she doesn’t allow anyone—ever her mother—to go into her room.”
With OCD, often the compulsive behavior is directly related to the unwanted thoughts, as with Mauceri’s client who is afraid of germs and thus washes compulsively. Other times, someone with OCD may perform rituals that have no apparent connection to the fear, such as tapping on a table or counting to 100 over and over again to keep themselves or their family safe from harm.
The good news is that there is treatment for OCD. One of the most frequently used protocols is “Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy,” in which the client is exposed to the triggering thought, behavior or situation and rates their anxiety on a scale of 1 to 100. Over the course of their treatment, they gradually learn how to decrease their stress level by slowly increasing the amount of time they can tolerate the thoughts without acting out the compulsion. In addition, medication can often be a useful part of the treatment plan.
If your child is exhibiting symptoms of OCD or other mental health challenges, we can help. Please call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971.
Assistant Principal Easton Hazell; Kathleen Wisnewski, National Grid customer and mommunity manager; Lauren McGowan, director of development at the guidance center; Juan Santiago, National Grid customer and community manager; Dena Papadopoulos, mental health counselor at the guidance center; and Suzanne Martin, youth employment specialist at the guidance center. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center)
On Feb. 12, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center and National Grid launched their new partnership with a Career Day talk at the Center for Community Adjustment (CCA), part of Nassau B.O.C.E.S. in Wantagh.
The speaker was Juan Santiago, National Grid Customer and Community Manager, who quickly won over the students with his tale about his life and career journey, from his beginnings as a kid in Brooklyn who shared three pairs of jeans and a bed with his brother and was admittedly not all that interested in school. But he always dreamed big and went for what he called “stretch goals,” and it shows: Santiago’s career trajectory took him from a grocery store bagger to a successful Navy career to a National Grid meter reader and ultimately his current high-level role with National Grid, all while getting his degree online.
He told the students that there are many paths to success, and if they put their hearts and minds to it, they could reach the highest levels.
“Just because someone doesn’t take a traditional route doesn’t mean they are any less motivated,” said Santiago.
When he asked the students what they liked to do, many shared their interests, and he encouraged them to take those passions, make far-reaching goals, and then take the steps needed so that one day, they’d have terrific careers that they’d love.
For example, one student shared that he was good at fixing things, and Santiago told him that his skill could take him to new heights: “Think big. One day you can design and help build a bridge, or maybe you will go to Japan someday and help build the tallest skyscraper. If you can dream it, you can do it.”
Kathleen Wisnewski, National Grid customer and community manager, said that Santiago’s enthusiasm “pulled the kids in and got them engaged from the very beginning.” The kids were “all smiles” by the end of the talk, she added, and many were eager to pull Santiago aside to ask questions and share their own stories.
“While we encourage the exploration and discussion of various tracks to success within the Guidance Center and Nassau B.O.C.E.S., to hear and connect with someone who has navigated the ‘non-traditional’ route to success often leaves more of a lasting impact with our population of students,” said Dena Papadopoulos, mental health counselor at the Center for Community Adjustment (CCA), Nassau B.O.C.E.S, which is one of three B.O.C.E.S schools at which the Guidance Center runs the Intensive Support Program, or ISP. At each school, students who come from all 56 Nassau districts receive intensive mental health services on site.
Suzanne Martin, youth employment counselor at ISP, added, “All the students responded well and enjoyed hearing Juan’s path to success. They found it encouraging and relatable.” She added, “We’re very grateful to Juan and the National Grid team for bringing us this very special program.”
The event was the first of several that the Guidance Center has planned in partnership with National Grid.
“We work with organizations all over Long Island and the city to promote STEM [science, technology, engineering and math],” explained Wisnewski. “We are excited about our new partnership with the Guidance Center, and we look forward to our future events.”
Although my daily routine does not include reading Australian news, a social media headline from the Jan. 26, Sidney Morning Herald caught my eye: “Kids are Dying: Calls for Headspace to Publish Waiting Lists.”
Headspace is the name for 110 centers located across Australia that employ mental health and other health professionals to address the health and emotional well-being of young people from ages 12 to 25.
Visits to Headspace, which is funded by the Australian government, are advertised as free of charge. When there is a crisis, they assess risk and formulate a plan in collaboration with the young person seeking help.
Sounds great! So, why the ominous headline? Too many teens in crisis are on Headspace’s waiting lists, which run up to three months. Many have given up hope. Tragically, some are becoming statistics in Australia’s climbing suicide rate.
“Every time a young person in crisis was turned away,” says Headspace Chief Executive Jason Trethowan, it puts them another step closer to “pushing them over the edge.”
Jumping from Australia to the United Kingdom, on Oct. 8, 2018, The Guardian reported that the Royal College of Psychiatrists surveyed 500 diagnosed mental health patients and discovered that some had waited up to 13 years to get the care they needed.
One 20-year-old woman with a history of childhood trauma responded to the survey by stating it took her eight years, until the age of 15, to get treatment. “I was suicidal, but no one would help me. I kept asking for help, and kept being pushed away. Either I wasn’t ill enough to meet the threshold for services, or the waiting list was simply too long,” she noted.
In the U.S., it is too-often the same demoralizing story about disenfranchised youth on waiting lists who end up in hospital emergency rooms that lack adequate psychiatric personnel. For a child survivor of trauma, an ill-equipped ER waiting room often becomes a trigger as opposed to a respite.
Increasingly, economic realities have pushed mental health clinics in the New York metropolitan area to fill the ranks of their staff with fee-for-service workers who carry overflowing caseloads of Medicaid patients. Those patients are seen back to back at 30-minute intervals, factory-style.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, 20 percent of all admissions come to us as crisis situations, including kids who talk and act as if they don’t want to live. Or, they have endured such trauma in their short lives that they have ceased to function well at home and school. We guarantee to see such emergency cases within 24 to 48 hours — and we don’t kick them out the door after 30 minutes.
Steps are taken to evaluate and reduce the level of risk right from the start to prevent traumatic ER trips. It takes a mission-driven, salaried workforce to get this done properly.
We are pleased that referral sources such as schools and pediatricians understand that we are readily available to all families regardless of income and that they will be evaluated and assigned care rapidly. This is no easy task — certainly not one that can happen in conveyor-belt-style every half hour on the half hour.
Although time is of the essence in the case of an emergency, triage is a thoughtful process that cannot be rushed. Distinctions are made. For example, there is a difference between a high-level emergency involving a child with suicidal thoughts and few if any social supports; and an urgent situation with a child that is verbalizing suicidal feelings, but who is participating in activities, speaking with parents, attending school and clearly has no intent or plan to take his or her life.
In both situations, a careful assessment is needed to understand the level of risk in order to counsel the family accordingly. It is life-and-death work. There are no shortcuts. A dedicated team of salaried professional staff is essential. Yet such places are in short supply.
The Headspace headline — “Kids are Dying” — falls on deaf ears when it comes to mental health care. Someone advised me that if you want to shake things up, you need to examine why you are awake and how you just relate to those who are asleep. One mom carried the ashes of her deceased teenage son to a legislative hearing to awaken the slumbering legislators.
It shouldn’t take ashes to ask for help.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Although my daily routine does not include reading Australian news, a social media headline from the Jan. 26, Sidney Morning Herald caught my eye: “Kids are Dying: Calls for Headspace to Publish Waiting Lists.”
Headspace is the name for 110 centers located across Australia that employ mental health and other health professionals to address the health and emotional well-being of young people from ages 12 to 25.
Visits to Headspace, which is funded by the Australian government, are advertised as free of charge. When there is a crisis, they assess risk and formulate a plan in collaboration with the young person seeking help.
Sounds great! So, why the ominous headline? Too many teens in crisis are on Headspace’s waiting lists, which run up to three months. Many have given up hope. Tragically, some are becoming statistics in Australia’s climbing suicide rate.
“Every time a young person in crisis was turned away,” says Headspace Chief Executive Jason Trethowan, it puts them another step closer to “pushing them over the edge.”
Jumping from Australia to the United Kingdom, on Oct. 8, 2018, The Guardian reported that the Royal College of Psychiatrists surveyed 500 diagnosed mental health patients and discovered that some had waited up to 13 years to get the care they needed.
One 20-year-old woman with a history of childhood trauma responded to the survey by stating it took her eight years, until the age of 15, to get treatment. “I was suicidal, but no one would help me. I kept asking for help, and kept being pushed away. Either I wasn’t ill enough to meet the threshold for services, or the waiting list was simply too long,” she noted.
In the U.S., it is too-often the same demoralizing story about disenfranchised youth on waiting lists who end up in hospital emergency rooms that lack adequate psychiatric personnel. For a child survivor of trauma, an ill-equipped ER waiting room often becomes a trigger as opposed to a respite.
Increasingly, economic realities have pushed mental health clinics in the New York metropolitan area to fill the ranks of their staff with fee-for-service workers who carry overflowing caseloads of Medicaid patients. Those patients are seen back to back at 30-minute intervals, factory-style.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, 20 percent of all admissions come to us as crisis situations, including kids who talk and act as if they don’t want to live. Or, they have endured such trauma in their short lives that they have ceased to function well at home and school. We guarantee to see such emergency cases within 24 to 48 hours — and we don’t kick them out the door after 30 minutes.
Steps are taken to evaluate and reduce the level of risk right from the start to prevent traumatic ER trips. It takes a mission-driven, salaried workforce to get this done properly.
We are pleased that referral sources such as schools and pediatricians understand that we are readily available to all families regardless of income and that they will be evaluated and assigned care rapidly. This is no easy task — certainly not one that can happen in conveyor-belt-style every half hour on the half hour.
Although time is of the essence in the case of an emergency, triage is a thoughtful process that cannot be rushed. Distinctions are made. For example, there is a difference between a high-level emergency involving a child with suicidal thoughts and few if any social supports; and an urgent situation with a child that is verbalizing suicidal feelings, but who is participating in activities, speaking with parents, attending school and clearly has no intent or plan to take his or her life.
In both situations, a careful assessment is needed to understand the level of risk in order to counsel the family accordingly. It is life-and-death work. There are no shortcuts. A dedicated team of salaried professional staff is essential. Yet such places are in short supply.
The Headspace headline — “Kids are Dying” — falls on deaf ears when it comes to mental health care. Someone advised me that if you want to shake things up, you need to examine why you are awake and how you just relate to those who are asleep. One mom carried the ashes of her deceased teenage son to a legislative hearing to awaken the slumbering legislators.
It shouldn’t take ashes to ask for help.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
