At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we not only provide counseling, but we also offer some very innovative programs targeted at specific needs and sectors of our local communities.
One of those programs is the Latina Girls Project, which was created to respond to the alarming rate of depression, school refusal, self-harm, sexual abuse, suicidal ideation and attempted suicides by Hispanic girls, ages 12-17. In addition to bilingual individual, family and group therapy, the program incorporates a youth enrichment component that is comprised of monthly supervised outings to places such as theaters, museums and other cultural and educational sites. These trips also offer respite to the parents who are relieved to know that their daughters are in safe hands and doing worthwhile things.
All of the trips are sponsored by our very generous donors, John and Janet Kornreich.
In celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, here is a summary of two recent trips:
Exploring the Arts:
We had a great turnout for our trip to Muse PaintBar in Garden City. At first, some of the girls said they had no artistic talent and were a little nervous about painting. But the instructor was great, and assured them that everyone has an inner artist! The instructor told them not to feel like they should copy exactly what they saw; instead, she said it’s like handwriting, where everyone has their own individual style. The message was that you are 100% good enough just the way you are, and that you can do so much more than you thought possible.
What was so impressive was how the girls’ level of concentration was so strong. Many of them say they have trouble concentrating in school, but they were fully attentive when it came to being creative.
In addition, the girls are so respectful of the space they are in. There is no cursing, or pushing, or teasing. They even make sure the van is clean after we use it. Part of what we teach them is how to behave appropriately in the world. This goes hand in hand with developing self-respect, which is a key component to emotional well-being. Their behavior makes all of us very proud—and it rightfully makes them proud of themselves!
A Day at the Theater:
For another recent trip, we saw a wonderful musical called The Buddy Holly Story at The John W. Engeman Theater in Northport, a beautiful venue that uses professional actors directly from the Broadway talent pool.
Even though Buddy Holly lived well before their time, the girls were fascinated by his story. Buddy was a young person who went after his dreams, despite any obstacles that faced him, and that message was inspiring for the girls. He was also someone who broke tradition by playing at the Apollo Theater, which at that time featured only black performers.
There is an especially meaningful scene when Buddy gets on stage at the Apollo and both he and the audience are surprised that, as a white man, he is the featured talent. But once he began to play, it was clear that what is on the outside in terms of race and color isn’t important; the message that diversity should be welcomed was one that the girls could truly appreciate.
They also were surprised and delighted to see that Buddy married a Latina woman and also that Richie Valens, who sang the still-famous song La Bamba (which the girls knew), was part of Buddy’s tour. The girls experience racism in their lives regularly, especially in these times when immigrants are looked down upon by some people in our country. They were uplifted by this story’s very inclusive and positive message!
To learn more about the Latina Girls Project and other Guidance Center programs, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Garden City residents were well represented at the Guidance Center’s Trivia Night. Pictured left to right: Paul Vitale, Lauren McGowan, Jane McGowan, Jack McGowan, Michael McGowan, Danielle Lalehzar and Maria Arianas.
It was a night filled with friendly competition, great conversation and lots of fun as North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center held its first-ever Trivia Night!
The event, which was held at Gino’s Trattoria and Pizzeria of New Hyde Park, raised money for the Guidance Center, the leading mental health non-profit organization on Long Island. The Guidance Center’s mission is to promote the emotional wellbeing of children and their families all across Nassau County.
Many of the people who took part in Trivia Night were Garden City residents, including Danielle Lalehzar and Maria Arianas. “It was a super fun night, but what was most important is that the funds raised support the Guidance Center’s work to help young people who are experiencing issues like depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges,” says Lalehzar, who has been a committee member on several Guidance Center events in the past. “It’s a real blessing to have this incredible resource.”
Another Garden City resident who attended and spoke at Trivia Night was Paul Vitale, the president of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors. “Many years back, when I first learned that one in five children or teens will experience a mental health issue, I was stunned,” says Vitale. “It’s crucial that we get the message out that there is help for these kids that truly can be lifesaving.”
The Guidance Center clients, who come from every Nassau County community, range in age from newborns to 24-year-olds and their families. The organization’s long list of services include help for children and teens who are experiencing bullying, substance use, divorce, school refusal, suicidal thoughts, depression and trauma of all kinds. Mothers with postpartum depression also find healing through the Guidance Center’s programs.
“When one child or family is helped, the entire community benefits,” says Lauren McGowan, a Garden City resident and Director of Development at the Guidance Center. McGowan brought her husband and two teenagers to the event, and everyone enjoyed the spirited competition. “It was a terrific night, and we will definitely do this again next year,” she says, adding, “We are grateful to all those who support our work, which makes the difference in thousands of lives each year.”
Do you think childhood trauma is a relatively rare occurrence? Here are just a few statistics to change that perception:
More than a quarter (26%) of children in the United States will witness or experience a traumatic event before they turn four.
60% of adults report experiencing abuse or other difficult family circumstances during
childhood.
In one year,39%of children between the ages of 12 and 17 reported witnessing violence; 17% reported being a victim of physical assault; and 8% reported being the victim of sexual assault.
More than 60% of youth age 17 and younger have been exposed to crime, violence and abuse either directly or indirectly.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, childhood trauma is defined as “the experience of an event by a child that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects.”
Jennifer Pearlman, LMHC, who works at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Intensive Support Program through Nassau B.O.C.E.S, explains some of the common causes of trauma in children. “Sexual, physical or emotional abuse—especially when it is repeated and/or ongoing—can cause serious mental health challenges both during childhood and as the child matures into adulthood,” she says. “Problems can also develop when a child experiences chronic illnesses, loss of a loved one, bullying, serious accidents and poverty.”
Trauma can also occur when a child is witness to violence or even regular, intense verbal fighting by their parents or caregivers.
“A child who has been traumatized may be living as if they are in a constant state of danger,” says Pearlman. “Their bodies and minds are always on high alert, which means they often experience the flight, fright or freeze response more commonly associated with soldiers who have been diagnosed with PTSD [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder]. They never feel safe.”
There are many symptoms associated with trauma in children, including anxiety, anger, difficulty sleeping, poor self-image, acting out, feelings of guilt, school refusal and obsessive or compulsive behaviors. Sometimes, trauma in early years can lead to learning disabilities and, in some cases, to violent behaviors—especially when the child was the victim of abuse.
“If a child is chronically abused, it’s all they know of the world,” says Pearlman. “They may have difficulty expressing emotions, and their behavior can be unpredictable, volatile or extreme.”
The good news is that, with proper treatment, children and teens can heal from trauma and live healthy, happy lives. That treatment might include individual, group and/or family therapy; cognitive behavioral therapy; relaxation and mindfulness techniques; neurofeedback; and other methods.
“Children who’ve experienced trauma are not bad or broken or flawed,” says Pearlman. “There are many different therapeutic approaches that, by themselves or in combination, can make a huge difference.”
If your child is experiencing the effects of trauma, we can help. Contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971, or email info@northshorechildguidance.org. If you are seeking an academic environment for your child or teen that offers extensive therapeutic services, ask about our Intensive Support Program, which offers intensive mental health services on-site at three Nassau B.O.C.E.S. schools for children, ages 5-21, and their families from all 56 Nassau County school districts.
Note: In honor of Minority Mental Health Month, this week’s blog talks about North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Latina Girls Project.
Any parent of a teenager knows that the adolescent years can be challenging, and they aren’t alarmed when their kids exhibit a healthy dose of moodiness and angst. But for some young people, feelings of desperation and sadness can become overwhelming, and that’s when North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center steps in to help.
In her work as Associate Executive Director at the Guidance Center, Regina Barros-Rivera has counseled numerous teens who suffer from depression and anxiety. But a few years ago, she noticed a disturbing trend: An increasingly large number of first-generation Latinas were coming to the Guidance Center with severe depression, self-harming behaviors and suicidal thoughts. Many had stopped going to school, and some had been hospitalized for suicide attempts.
Barros-Rivera soon discovered that nationwide research mirrored what she was seeing at the Guidance Center. Studies show that Hispanic teenage girls are significantly more likely than their non-Hispanic peers to suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide. Sadly, many have attempted suicide or killed themselves.
Barros-Rivera, herself the daughter of immigrant parents, was gravely concerned—and determined to do something to help the teens and their families. She gathered a team of bilingual, multicultural counselors from the Guidance Center and created the Latina Girls Project, an innovative program that employs individual, group and family therapy, along with monthly outings and other activities, all designed to tackle issues such as depression, low self-esteem, school refusal and suicidal ideation.
WARNING SIGNS
Following are some signs that your child or teen may be at risk of a suicide attempt. From the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology:
Family history of suicide attempts
History of depression
Exposure to violence
Impulsivity
Aggressive or disruptive behavior
Access to firearms
Bullying
Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness
Acute loss or rejection
Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Frequent or pervasive sadness
Withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
Frequent complaints about physical symptoms often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, etc.
Decline in the quality of schoolwork
Preoccupation with death and dying
If your child or teen exhibits these symptoms, contact the Guidance Center at 516-626-1971 for help.
A big part of the reason these girls are struggling is because they are pulled in conflicting directions, says Barros-Rivera. “Their parents want them to adhere to the traditional values of their homeland, while the girls seek to integrate into American culture,” she explains.
The result: Parents are often extremely overprotective; they won’t allow their daughters to venture out and participate in the activities such as sleepovers, dating or trips to the mall. “That leaves the girls feeling like they are trapped and have no way out, which creates a very dangerous situation,” says Barros-Rivera.
Even if the teens are allowed to go out with their friends, they are required to have a chaperone, such as a parent or brother. In addition, they are often relegated to gender-biased roles, required to cook, clean and take care of their siblings while their brothers are treated , as one girl said, “like princes.”
During individual and group therapy sessions, the girls realize that they can trust their counselors, many of whom also grew up as first-generation Latinas. The counselors teach the girls healthy ways to deal with stress and depression and better ways to communicate with their parents.
For their part, the parents become more compassionate about their daughters’ feelings and also understand the need to let their teens separate in healthy, age-appropriate ways. As one girl put it, “My parents learned that I just wanted them to be there for me and listen. They learned that it doesn’t help to question why I feel the way I do but to accept it and support me.”
The teens also go on supervised monthly outings to museums, historical sites and even Broadway shows, thanks to the support of theJohnand JanetKornreichCharitable Foundation. These trips serve to boost their confidence and sense of independence. They also discover that there’s a great big world of opportunity out there for them, which allows them to feel optimistic about their futures.
“After we work with them, they see hope,” says Barros-Rivera. “They develop self-reliance and self-esteem.” With a big smile on her face, she adds, “I just love these girls!”
More Help for Your Teen fromLatina Social Media Activists
It’s not unusual for teenagers to be reluctant to speak with their parents about issues such as depression. Of course, it’s important to do your best to engage them in these conversations, but there is also an important avenue you can use to help your daughter learn more about mental health from her peers. Share this link with them that highlights seven Latina activists who are blogging about mental health.
Monday is a special holiday: Martin Luther King Day. Dr. King was known for many things, chief among them his passionate voice that called for a nonviolent but forceful response to injustice. He faced many obstacles, but continued until his last breath to speak his truth, regardless of the consequences.
In the last few months, we’ve also seen another response to injustice, with women speaking out about sexual harassment and finally being heard and believed. It takes a lot of bravery to speak your truth when it’s something that is so personal and that has been dismissed, minimized or ridiculed in the past by the larger culture.
We have also seen a shift as more people speak about their mental health issues. That’s not easy to do in a culture where a long-held theme is that, if you’re feeling down, you just need to “pick yourself up by your bootstraps.”
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, our mission is to bring hope and healing to those experiencing mental illness and addictions issues, regardless of their ability to pay. But we also have another mission: To speak out against the stigma associated with having a mental health or chemical dependency issue.
Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff has been advocating for many years regarding this issue. Below is a column he wrote for Anton Media.
“When we hear that our neighbor’s teenage son has been diagnosed with cancer, or that our colleague’s newborn has a heart defect, we shed some tears—and then we move into action. We bring meals; we offer to take their other kids to soccer games or piano lessons; we raise money so the parents can stay home from work to care for their ailing children.
But when we learn that our daughter’s best friend has been hospitalized for depression, or that a boy on our son’s basketball team has stopped going to school because of severe anxiety, we’re often at a loss as to how to respond.
Here’s a fact that may surprise you: Although more children suffer from psychiatric illness than autism, leukemia, diabetes and AIDS combined, only one of five with an emotional disturbance gets help from a mental health specialist. Moreover, 50 percent of serious mental illness occurs before the age of 14.
People with mental health problems and addictions, along with their families, often suffer in silence, while people with physical health problems evoke the sympathy and support of others. Why do we continue to treat illnesses above the neck differently than illnesses below the neck?
The sad truth is that there’s still a widespread stigma when it comes to mental health. The result? Parents who need help often wait months and even years to make that first phone call. A parent whose child is diagnosed with cancer doesn’t wait to ask for help. Waiting only happens with mental illness and addiction.
Fortunately, more than 60 years after our founding, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is still here to fight that stigma and provide help to children in need. Let me share a few of their stories.
We met six-year-old Jerome soon after he attempted to jump out a window because, as he said, “Nobody loves me.” Fifteen-year-old Celeste said the reason that she cuts her arms until they bleed is not to take her life, but to lower her blood pressure. And 14-year-old Maria told us that she lives in a house with a revolving door welcoming men who touch her.
Depression, anxiety, fear, child abuse, school refusal, bullying, isolation, drug addiction, domestic violence . . . we receive more than 100 calls a week, and increasing numbers are emergencies.
All across Long Island, mental health agencies are shuttering their doors, or they’ve been acquired by corporate entities with no roots in the community. That’s tragic, because community-based mental health organizations are as essential to the health and well-being of our children as hospitals or schools.
What can you do? First, tell your representatives that you value the mental health organization that serves your community and would like their support to ensure its future. And if you know someone whose child is suffering from a mental health issue, don’t ignore them. Make that phone call. Let them know you care.”
For information on what the Guidance Center is doing to combat stigma and to learn how you can help, visit our webpage and click on Project Access, a year-long study we conducted that looks at the difficulties in accessing mental health care, including the problem of stigma.
