![NORTH SHORE CHILD & FAMILY GUIDANCE CENTER RAISES OVER $17K FOR THE CHILDREN’S CENTER AT NASSAU COUNTY FAMILY COURT]()
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 26, 2018 | Press Releases
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 26, 2018 — On Tuesday evening September 24th, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted a fundraiser for its Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court. The event, which was held at Tesoro’s Ristorante Cucini Italiana in Westbury, featured wonderful entertainment by musician and soul crooner Paul Loren, along with cocktails and a buffet dinner.
The event raised over $17,000 for the Children’s Center, which provides care and early learning to almost 2,000 children annually, ages 6 weeks – 12 years, while their parents or guardians are conducting court business.
At the event, Nassau County Legislator Joshua Lafazan presented a citation to the Guidance Center honoring the Children’s Center program. “North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center knows that the best investment one can make is in a child,” said Lafazan. “I am proud to support their efforts as they make a difference in the lives of youths and families all across Long Island.”
Seated: Carolyn Germany, Corinthian Sistrunk, Allison Cacace, Robert and Joan Antonik. Standing: Mace Greenfield, Judge Andrea Phoenix.
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of The Leeds Place (under which the Children’s Center operates), explained that the Children’s Center is not a babysitting service but rather an early learning center. “Often this is a child’s first exposure to an early learning environment,” she said. “Every aspect of the Center promotes learning by which the children can explore new things in a safe, structured and professionally supervised setting.”
Lauren McGowan, Bob Mangi, Allison Cacace, Legislator Joshua Lafazan, John Zenir and Andrew Malekoff
Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center, thanked the two full-time staff members and the valued volunteers, without whom the Children’s Center’s high level of service wouldn’t be possible. He also acknowledged Laurie Joseph-Yehuda and Rene Joseph, the daughter and widow of the late Honorable Burton S. Joseph, founder of the Children’s Center, who were in attendance. Laurie is a member of the Children’s Center Advisory Council and Rene painted the beautiful murals on the wall of the Children’s Center many years ago.
Dr. Walthrust thanked co-chairs Allison Cacace, Bob Mangi, Esq. and John Zenir, Esq., P.C. for their dedication to the third annual event. “This fundraiser is critical for the Children’s Center, as funds for it have been drastically cut over the years, though we have been able to keep it open full time,” she said.
Allison Cacace and Judge Andrea Phoenix
The fundraiser was sponsored by an array of local law firms and other businesses, including Aiello, DiFalco & Gianakos, LLP; Barnes Catterson LoFrumento Barnen, LLP; Casino One Limousines; DiMascio & Associates, LLP; Gassman Baiamonte Betts, PC; Mangi & Graham, LLP; Mejias, Milgrim
& Alvarado, PC; Schlissel Ostrow Karabatos, PLLC; The Law Firm of Edwards & Rockmore, PC; The Law Practice of John M. Zenir; The Pessala Family; The Virdone Law Firm, PC; Vishnick McGovern Milizio, LLP; and the family of Hon. Burton S. Joseph, Founder of the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 18, 2018 | Blog
Do you have a child or teen who is obese? If so, they are not alone. In the United States, the percentage of children and teens who are obese has more than tripled since the 1970s. Today, nearly 1 in 5 school age U.S. children and young people (6 to 19 years) is considered obese. When you factor in those who are considered overweight but not yet obese, the figure rises to 31%.
Why the dramatic increase? While it’s true that family history, genetics and metabolism can influence weight, that doesn’t explain why the percentage of overweight/obese youngsters has gone up so much in a relatively short period.
Behavior and habits are the more likely culprits. According to Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, technology in particular plays a significant role.
“Many families have become sedentary with TV, computers and videogames as the culprits,” she says. “If parents are inactive and spending a lot of time on their phones or iPads, they need to shift their behaviors and lead as role models for their kids.”
Dr. Cohen recommends approaching the issue as a family topic rather than focusing on an individual child. “The message should be that we all need to eat healthier and we can all start a fitness program as a family,” she says. “You don’t want to make your child feel badly about themselves, so focusing on healthy eating and activity rather than appearance is extremely important.”
Why do kids overeat? Emotional issues are often factors when it comes to weight gain. Says Dr. Cohen, “Overeating is often a result of anxiety or depression.” If your child is exhibiting signs of these conditions, professional therapy is highly recommended.
Finding Healthy Foods
Are you among the Long Islanders whose location and/or financial issues make it difficult to access healthy, fresh foods? Many soup kitchens and food pantries don’t have a large supply of fresh groceries, but Community Solidarity shares nutritious food to those in need, with 50% of that being fresh produce. To find out more, visit http://communitysolidarity.org.
Here are some things to keep in mind when broaching the subject of weight with your children, from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics:
Encourage open dialogue. Go ahead and talk with your children about weight and encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings about body image whenever they arise. When children discuss feelings about weight with you, be sure to listen and acknowledge that the feelings are real. If you have had similar experiences, it may help to share them. Explain that people come in all different shapes and sizes and you love your child no matter what.
Don’t make negative comments. Judging your own body or your child’s can result in lasting detrimental effects to your child’s body image and relationship with food. Set a good example for children in the way you talk about your own body as well as others. Skip the lure of fad dieting yourself.
Take action. Children learn fast, and they learn best by example. Teach children habits that will help keep them healthy for life. In general, if your child is elementary age or younger and you have some weight concerns, don’t talk about it; just start making lifestyle changes as a family. The best thing you can do is make it easy for kids to eat smart and move often. Serve regular, balanced family meals and snacks. Limit the time your child spends watching television or playing video games. Look for ways to spend fun, active time together.
Avoid the blame game. Never yell, scream, bribe, threaten or punish children about weight, food or physical activity. If you turn these issues into parent-child battlegrounds, the results can be harmful. Shame, blame and anger are setups for failure. The worse children feel about their weight, the more likely they are to overeat or develop an eating disorder.
Talk with your healthcare provider. If a health professional mentions a concern about your child’s weight, speak with the professional privately. Discuss specific concerns about your child’s growth pattern and ask for suggestions on making positive changes in your family’s eating habits and activity levels.
Seek advice. Check out local programs and professionals who specialize in youth. Look for a registered dietitian nutritionist with a specialty in pediatric weight management. Many hospitals and clinics have comprehensive programs with education and activities for both kids and adult family members. Some of these options may be covered by your health insurance plan.
Sources:
www.eatright.org/health/weight-loss/overweight-and-obesity/how-to-talk-to-kids-about-weight-and-obesity
www.cdc.gov/healthyschools/obesity/facts.htm
www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/
www.aecf.org/blog/three-in-10-us-kids-are-overweight-or-obese/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzqPH6djC3QIVlovICh0mRwGEEAAYASAAEgJqkfD_BwE
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 17, 2018 | In The Media, Press Releases
Three years ago on a bright September morning, my wife Dale phoned me at my office in Roslyn Heights to tell me about something disturbing that had just happened to her. It was a few days before the Jewish New Year when our family comes together.
Dale and I both grew up in New Jersey. We relocated permanently to Long Island after we were married in 1980. We raised our children here. She has been teaching art to high school students at the Hebrew Academy of Five Towns and Rockaway, a Yeshiva in Cedarhurst, for close to 35 years.
This is the story she told to me.
She had been shopping at King Kullen in Island Park, about a mile-and-a-half from our home in Long Beach. She was standing in a checkout line unloading a shopping cart full of groceries on to the conveyer belt.
A large man stepped up to wait in line behind her. He had only a few items in a smaller hand-held basket. He seemed agitated; she said she thought it was because he’d have to wait.
Trying to be helpful, she pointed out to him that a cashier had just opened another register just a few aisles away and that there was no one standing in that line.
The man didn’t react. He just stood there, muttering under his breath, appearing to be dissatisfied with the pace of the transaction in front of him.
In my wife’s basket were a number of items for cooking and baking traditional foods for the holidays: brisket, chicken, soup greens, matzo ball mix, and so forth.
Also in the basket were four Yahrzeit candles that we light each year at this time to remember our parents, three of whom died in the 1990s, all well before their 80thbirthdays. My mother-in-law Ida was the only one who made it past the age of 80.
The man continued mumbling under his breath and, finally, he said out loud: “You know the ovens are still open.”
It was a frozen moment. The checkout girl and Dale just looked at one another. It was one of those surreal moments that can leave one feeling momentarily numb.
There was no physical altercation, no yelling, no overt anger. But, in my view, it was every bit of a violent moment.
As she recounted her experience she said, “I wish you were there with me.” I thought about that. Had I been there I’m not sure what I would have done. Initiated a physical confrontation? Shouted him down? Assessed him as mentally disturbed and ignored him? Calmly asked him, “What do you mean by that?” I’ll never know for sure.
What I do know is that anti-Semitism is alive and well.
My wife’s disturbing experience, on the eve of our High Holy Days, was a fleeting yet indelibly shocking moment and reminder of how close to the surface anti-Semitism is, particularly in the increasingly divided nation our children are inheriting.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 17, 2018 | In The Media
Long Island families find challenges – and support – when life gives them a second go-round at raising children.
Eileen Brown will never forget July 21, 2013.
“It’s the day our lives changed in a nanosecond,” Brown said, referring to the day her daughter was arrested and charged with armed robbery.
At that point, Brown and her husband were getting ready to retire and travel the world.
“We had a plan, and God laughed,” she said. “He gave us a different plan.”
The East Islip couple had to immediately take charge of JJ, Eileen’s 9-year-old grandson, because his father also couldn’t care for him.
After her arrest, Brown’s daughter, who has developmental disabilities and is bipolar, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 3 years in prison.
“No one had any preparation time,” Brown said, explaining that JJ had been left at home with a babysitter and later learned that his mother wasn’t coming home and his dad couldn’t take care of him. “It was quite traumatic for everybody,” Brown said.
At first, Eileen, 60, and her husband, Brant, 74, the daughter’s stepfather, were thrown off kilter, encountering difficulties arranging for child care.
“We were truthfully feeling sorry for ourselves, a little angry, very overwhelmed,” Brown said.
Although Eileen’s daughter was released from prison in 2016, she was not awarded custody. Around this time, Eileen said, JJ was diagnosed with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder and intermittent explosive disorder — all compounded by the loss of his parents’ presence in his life.
The Browns placed their grandson in a residential program for several months, and they found support for themselves. They joined support groups — SASI for autism, CHADD for attention deficit disorders, and Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.
For the past two years, JJ, 14, has lived in Green Chimneys, an educational and clinical residence for children with special needs, where he will be for another year. He comes home to his grandparents from the upstate Brewster school many weekends and for vacations — like the family’s late-August two-week camping trip to Indian Island Park in Riverhead.
Brown observed that although JJ and her daughter have similar problems, she has found it easier to deal with her grandson.
“I’m older. I’m a little bit more experienced. There’s definitely more services out there than there were when I was going through this in the ‘80s,” she said.
Despite JJ’s parents’ love for him, Brown said, “They’re just not equipped to take care of him.”
As JJ gets older, things don’t get easier, she said. “The challenges become different. You just have to deal with them as they come along.”
According to the 2010 census, Suffolk County had the highest number of grandchildren living in households headed by their grandparents (29,591) in New York State, second only to New York City, noted Dinah Torres Castro, who coordinates the Relatives as Parents Program for the Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County.
Most people think caring for their grandkids will be a temporary arrangement, Castro said. “The truth of the matter is that most grandparents that take in a grandchild wind up taking care of that child for seven years or more.”
LOVE STRENGTHENS RESOLVE
In addition to the five grandchildren they’ve helped care for over the years, while their children were working, Marie and Roger Dextra are now raising three grandchildren.
“They always thought when they’d get older they’d move back to Haiti,” said Marmeline Martin, an outreach worker for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Caregiver-Grandparent Respite and Support Program who has worked with the family. “But they can’t, because they have to take care of their grandchildren.”
For the past seven years, Brianna, 12, Brian, 11, and Ronald, 10, have lived at the Dextras’ Westbury home because their mother’s severe depression prevents her from caring for them.
Marie and Roger Dextra, who speak limited English, take advantage of the services from C-GRASP, as the guidance center program is known. They include advocates like Martin going to the children’s school meetings on their behalf and receiving food donations from Island Harvest.
The Dextras said their abiding faith and familial love strengthen their resolve.
“God gives me the patience to raise these kids, because they don’t have anybody else to raise them,” said Marie, 73.
“These are our grandchildren,” said Roger, 79. “We have to do it — there’s no other choice.”
Despite the many burdens and hardships, the Dextras find joy in caring for their grandchildren.
“It’s such a passion for me,” Marie said. “When I see them coming, I’m happy.”
The children accept living under their grandparents’ care, though their own parents’ home is nearby, Marie said.
“They understand she’s sick, and God will take care of them,” Marie said of her daughter-in-law.
To other grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, Marie offers some words of advice: “Be patient when no one else can care for them. Be a believer in the Lord to give you the strength.”
SUPPORT FOR THE LONG TERM
About one in 10 members among the 13 Families Anonymous groups on Long Island are raising their grandchildren because the children’s parents’ drug abuse resulted in death or an inability to be caregivers, said Donna D., who has 22 years’ experience in FA and is on its World Service Board and chair of its Group Outreach Committee. The 12-step program aims to provide fellowship and support for family and friends of those with drug and alcohol and related behavioral problems. In keeping with FA’s tradition of anonymity, the Islip Town resident did not want to give her last name.
She said Families Anonymous meetings can help enlighten grandparents about ways they may have enabled their loved ones’ drug abuse; learning new behaviors can lead to treatment for the parents, enabling reunification with their children and relieving the grandparents of caregiving. “There’s no judging. There’s no advice-giving. There’s no opinions,” Donna said of the meetings.
Drug abuse, incarceration and mental illness have resulted in more and more grandparents raising their grandchildren, said Pam Giacoia, who runs the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group in Hampton Bays.
“The biggest challenges I see grandparents facing are finances, parenting issues pertaining to schoolwork, discipline and technology, needing support while going through legal issues, dealing with adult children, and, in general, emotional support while trying to raise their grandkids,” she said.
“They step in,” Giacoia said of the grandparents. “I’ve had people in my group that are from their 50s all the way up to great-grandparents that are raising their kids into their 70s and 80s.” The world has changed drastically from when they raised their own kids, she said.
Grandparents seeking financial assistance can contact the state Office of Temporary Disability Assistance, which offers temporary assistance for needy families. They can also contact different local nonprofit agencies, such as the Family Service League in Suffolk County and North Shore Family & Child Guidance in Nassau.
PASTA (Parenting a Second Time Around), an eight-session curriculum developed by Cornell Cooperative Extension, and Grandparents’ Support Group in Shirley, can help guide grandparents through their journey.
“Sometimes when they get custody of their grandchildren, they’re totally ill-equipped to be parenting again,” said Torres Castro, noting that advancing age or juggling full-time work with child-rearing are among potential obstacles.
“We give the space for them to feel it’s OK to resent the fact that this is what they’re doing right now, but it’s also OK to focus on the child that they need to provide love, safety and security for,” she said. “That’s what the support group does. It helps them to focus on that.”
Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, who heads the North Shore grandparenting support center, said its services help grandparents experiencing isolation and struggling with health and financial issues, which increase stress.
“They also have the opportunity to develop a social network with other grandparents that are experiencing the same life challenge,” Taylor-Walthrust said.
Brown said the advice and support her family has received over the years has helped keep her focused on guiding her grandson — and preparing him for a life independent from her.
“Going to support groups and knowing we weren’t alone in this was crucial for all of us, but especially for my grandson,” she said.
SUPPORT FOR RAISING GRANDKIDS
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Town of Southampton Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays
Meets 6 to 8 p.m., the second Wednesday of each month
Dinner and discussion, sometimes with speakers; child care provided
Contact: Pam Giacoia, 631-728-1235
Shirley Grandparents’ Support Group
Mastics-Moriches-Shirley Community Library
407 William Floyd Pkwy., Shirley
6 to 7:30 p.m. the last Tuesday of the month
Group discussion; guest speakers; must register; child care on request
Contact: Pat Mininni 631-399-1511, ext. 377
C-GRASP of North Shore Child & Family Guidance
The Leeds Place, 999 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury
Education, respite, counseling, school advocacy, clothing, food, housing assistance and transportation for grandparents who are primary caregivers of their grandchildren
northshorechildguidance.org, 516-997-2926
Kinship Caregiver Support Group
6:30 to 7:30 p.m., two Mondays each month
50 Clinton St., Hempstead
ltiny.org, 516-483-3400
Families Anonymous
Weekly meetings at each of its 13 groups throughout Long Island
familiesanonymous.org, 800-736-9805
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Sep 13, 2018 | In The Media, Press Releases
By now I imagine you’ve heard all about “The Cosby Show” actor Geoffrey Owens who was job-shamed for working at Trader Joe’s.
If you haven’t heard or just to refresh: a customer recognized him, snapped a few unflattering photos of him bagging potatoes and sold it to a tabloid news outlet that gave it a derisive can-you-believe-what-he’s-doing-now hook.
If you are a parent, this is a great story to share and discuss with your kids. If you are a young person still in school it is an important lesson to absorb, store away and preserve so you can come back to it. You might find that you will need it one day.
Although Yale graduate Owens admitted to feeling humiliated by being exposed in such a disdainful manner, he said that he was not embarrassed about having a side job at Trader Joe’s and that many working actors need to supplement their income to help support themselves and their families.
Social media picked up his cause, which led to myriad media appearances and a viral social media presence. He used the opportunity to give voice to the dignity of work.
Here is what he said about that in a Sept. 4 Time magazine video interview: “The fact that I, as the guy from ‘The Cosby Show,’ was shamed about working at Trader Joe’s, that story is going to move on, that’s gonna pass. What I hope doesn’t pass is this new recognition, this current sensitivity people are feeling about work and about people working. I hope what continues to resonate is the idea that one job is not better than another. A certain job might pay more, might have better benefits and might look better on paper, but essentially one kind of work is not better, superior to another kind of work and that we reevaluate that whole idea and we just start honoring the dignity of work and respecting the dignity of the working person.”
Ironically, Owens’ job-shaming experience led to thousands of tributes on Twitter, a new acting job with producer-director Tyler Perry and offers of cash gifts from celebrities like rapper Nicki Minaj, all of whom were so moved by Owens.
I found the story to be personally uplifting; and, not because Owens benefited with renewed notoriety and a promising new acting job, but because of his humanity and the dignity he displayed in representing working stiffs all across America, regardless of their stripe or station in life.
Bravo Geoffrey Owens. Well done!
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
You can see the Time interview with Geoffrey Owens here: http://amp.timeinc.net/time/5385842/geoffrey-owens-cosby-show-actor-grocery-store-speaks-out?__twitter_impression=true
