North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to providing the highest quality services in order to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families.
Joining us in this lifesaving mission are two of our most devoted and active supporters, Andrea and Michael Leeds.
“It’s been a privilege to be part of the Guidance Center,” says Andrea, who has been an invaluable member of our Board of Directors for more than two decades. “The Guidance Center’s programs continue to grow to meet the needs of children dealing with difficult personal issues like depression, anxiety, bullying and so many others. The mission is more important now than ever during the COVID crisis, with illness, death and trauma having a devastating impact on the children and families in our community.”
All in the Family
The Leeds family’s connection to the Guidance Center has a long history. Andrea was introduced to the Guidance Center by her mother-in-law, Lilo Leeds, a Board Member for many years. In recognition of the family’s remarkable intergenerational support, in 2007 we named our Westbury location “The Leeds Place—Serving Young People.”
Michael and Andrea with Lilo and Gerry Leeds at The Leeds Place
As philanthropists, Andrea and Michael have assumed many leadership roles. They have co-chaired seven galas and served as co-honorees for our 65th Anniversary Gala in 2018, which raised a record-breaking $622,000 to support our lifesaving work.
Andrea has proudly served on many Guidance Center committees, including Steering & Development. She and Michael hosted a special evening in their home, where therapist Linda Silversmith led the discussion as grandparents shared stories and gained insight on the importance of their role in the American family.
Andrea and Board Member Jo-Ellen Hazan also co-chaired a memorable dinner where Mary Tyler Moore spoke about her life to a large and appreciative crowd. The event created awareness and raised funds to support the important work of the Guidance Center’s then-new Lucille S. and Martin E. Kantor Bereavement & Trauma Center.
Through these events, the Leeds have introduced our mission to many of their wonderful friends, with several becoming Board members themselves or serving in other vital positions.
“It’s a joy to be able to give back to the community,” says Andrea. “When you are personally involved, you receive so much more than you give.” When their daughters were young, Andrea played an active role in their school, synagogue and many other organizations, while Mike headed up publishing giant CMP Media.
“I love how the Guidance Center has provided an ever-evolving range of innovative services for children and their families—and they do so regardless of the family’s ability to pay,” says Andrea. “The new Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project is a prime example of how the Guidance Center recognizes a need and jumps right in to make a difference.”
Adds Michael, “It’s been inspiring to see how the Guidance Center has responded so quickly to the COVID-19 crisis, pivoting from in-person therapy to telehealth so every child and family gets the help they need during this incredibly difficult time.”
Big Hearts and Boundless Energy
Andrea and Michael are very proud of their wonderful family: twin daughters Caryn and Lauren, Tracy, son-in-law Nick and grandson Samuel. While the family is now bicoastal, they spend as much time together as possible.
Andrea and Michael with their daughters, son-in-law and grandson.
“When I walk through the doors of the Guidance Center and look at the parents, I totally relate,” says Andrea. “As the mother of three girls, I understand a child in pain. I understand the relief a family can feel when treatment is helping to sort out complex, emotional situations.”
According to past Board President and current Board Member Nancy Lane, the Leeds’ compassion for others is what sets them apart.
“Both Andrea and Michael have big hearts and boundless energy, and they continue to be passionate advocates for the mental health of children and families in our community,” says Lane. “Having such a dynamic couple as part of our Guidance Center family is a real blessing.”
If your child or teen is expressing suicidal thoughts or feelings, we can help through our Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project. To learn more, click here.
To learn more about supporting North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, contact Director of Development Lauren McGowan at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
In this monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email NSCFGCexperts@gmail.com.
Question:My sons, who are four and seven, seem to be having more bad dreams than usual. They’ve both woken up during the night saying they were scared that we would die or get sick and they’d be left all alone. Any tips how to handle these nightmares?
—Up at Night
Dear Up at Night: The pandemic is impacting the daily lives of our children in numerous ways, with anxiety related to remote learning difficulties, loss of social activities and fear of illness and death creating a mental health crisis. So, it’s no surprise that COVID worries are also encroaching on their nights.
With our younger clients, we use creative ways such as drawing or playing with toys to help them express and process their fears. Many of them have been drawing scary monsters or big waves that overwhelm them, which reflects the fact that feel they have no control over the virus. Odds are that your boys are having the same thoughts.
There are several things you can do to help your kids at bedtime. First, suggest that they comfort themselves with items that help them feel safe, such as a favorite stuffed animal or a special blanket. You could also try a practice that we use with clients, called “Grounding in the Five Senses,” which involves thinking about five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. This process helps them let go of their worry of the future and focus on the here and now.
Some other strategies:
Stick to their normal bedtime routine, perhaps reading an extra book that focuses on a happy, comforting topic.
Validate their worry and other feelings so they feel seen and heard.
Model reassurance and safety either verbally (“I’m here, I will protect you”) or physically with a hug.
Encourage them to imagine happy endings for their dreams before bedtime.
Limit their exposure to COVID-related news—but do respond to any of their questions in an age-appropriate way.
Question:As the mom of a daughter who has depression and anxiety, I feel guilty thinking about spending time on my own needs. Is it selfish to want some me-time?
—Exhausted Mom
Dear Exhausted Mom: Have you ever heard that if an airplane loses cabin pressure, parents should put on their oxygen masks first, so they are able to help their children?
It’s way past time that moms (and dads, too) learn that self-care isn’t selfish, especially if you have a child with special needs. If you are depleted and neglect your own mental and/or physical health, you won’t be able to be there for your family.
Prioritize your wellness, even if you have to tell yourself you are doing it for your daughter. The basics: Get enough sleep; fit in some exercise, even in five-minute spurts (it all adds up!); add a short period of meditation to your daily routine; and eat healthy foods. Most important of all: Ask for help! Family and friends rally around you if your child has cancer. Chances are, they’ll want to be there for you when the issue is mental health.
During the pandemic, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is seeing clients remotely via telehealth platforms or, when deemed necessary, in person. To make an appointment, call us at (516) 626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org.
It’s a phone call we get all too often: A parent tells us their son or daughter is experiencing severe depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. And the situation has worsened due to the COVID-19 virus.
“The isolation brought on by the pandemic is hard on everyone, but it’s especially difficult for young people,” says Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “All their normal routines have been upended, like going to school, playing sports and celebrating special occasions. Many have lost someone close to them, and they are in a constant state of fear. It’s a crisis that’s getting worse by the day.”
Sadly, suicide among young people isn’t a new problem. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second-leading cause of death for ages 10-24, with more teens and young adults dying from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, birth defects and other major illnesses combined.
Thanks to a generous gift from Donald and Ellen Feldman, in September the Guidance Center launched a new program, the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project, an expansive initiative that aims to tackle the epidemic of suicide among young people.
“Through the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project, we will bring essential, life-changing services to the children and families in our community,” says Elissa Smilowitz, who is heading up the program. “We will address high-risk cases with a thorough evaluation for suicide risk; multiple weekly sessions of individual, group and family therapy; and a culturally sensitive treatment plan that focuses on safety strategies, healthy coping skills and relapse prevention.”
Evaluation with a psychiatrist regarding the possible use of medication will also be provided, along with in-home treatment and referrals to programs and services that will support parents’ efforts to protect their children.
The Guidance Center will also provide educational forums and a suicide survivors’ support group for those who suffer this tragic loss.
Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center, says, “We are grateful to the Feldmans for enabling us to develop a suicide prevention initiative that will enhance our ability to reach young people who may see no way out from the despair they are feeling. It’s a prime example of how our dedicated supporters make a profound difference in the well-being of our community.”
He adds, “Join us in spreading the word to schools, community organizations and friends. Information is power, and this program can save lives.”
Donations to support the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project can be made at www.northshorechildguidance.org/donate or by calling (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
Pregnancy and childbirth are exciting times in a family’s life, filled with joy and awe. For some mothers, however, the situation is far more complex. While many women experience some mild mood changes during or after the birth of a child, 15 to 20 percent of women have more significant symptoms of postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders or PMADs.
Fifteen to 20 percent of women have more significant symptoms of postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders or PMADs.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we work with moms and pregnant women whose symptoms may include feelings of sadness, irritability, guilt, lack of interest in the baby and changes in eating and sleeping habits. Some also experience trouble concentrating, thoughts of hopelessness and even thoughts of harming the baby or herself. Research shows that the pandemic has increased the incidents of PMADs, and also heightened symptoms. One study found that the rate of symptoms of depression in new mothers amid the pandemic was nearly three times the rate of new mothers’ symptoms pre-pandemic.
The reality is that, as with so much about the virus, there are still many unknowns as to the impact of COVID-19 during pregnancy and for babies and young children, which creates enormous stress. Being a new mother can be isolating under normal circumstances, but during the quarantine and social distancing protocols, the sense of isolation has been greatly magnified. Expectant and new parents are concerned about a host of issues, from financial and job stability to the health of their babies and themselves.
The pregnancy and birth experience, especially during the height of the pandemic, was anything but normal. Many pregnant women and new moms had to go to their doctor’s appointments by themselves, and if they got bad news, they had no one with them to lean on. Most had no baby showers, no visits from grandparents, no birthday parties—even an absence of partners in the hospital before, during and after the birth. They often had very little support from friends and relatives who typically help the new parents in the days after the baby comes home, for fear of catching or transmitting the virus.
Families who have school-aged children have had to struggle with the decision of whether or not to send them back to the classroom, where they may be exposed to the virus and bring it home to the family. Even though New York has improved in terms of COVID-19 numbers since the height of the pandemic, being cautious is still important, and we have no way of knowing what the next several months will bring. And the fact that all of us will be inside more will likely present significant challenges.
The good news is that North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center has been able to serve these moms and families during the pandemic through remote therapy, either by video or phone. In addition to individual and family therapy, the Guidance Center has continued to offer remote group counseling, so parents don’t feel so alone. Our psychiatrists are also seeing clients remotely, in the cases where medication is needed.
Through our Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, the Guidance Center provides:
• Screening and assessments • Individual, couple and family therapy • Crisis intervention consultation • Psychiatric evaluations and medication management, where needed • Support groups • Back-to-work family support • Help with self-care
As one new mother told us, “You’ve been my lifeline during this time when I needed connection and reassurance and support.” If you or someone you love is experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression or other perinatal mood disorders, call the Guidance Center at 516-626-1971 and tell them you are seeking help for maternal depression. We are here for you.
Vanessa McMullan, LCSW, is supervisor at The Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. She also heads up the organization’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program. Call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org to learn more.
