When a child faces a mental health challenge, the entire family is impacted. But while people may sympathize with parents and siblings, they often forget that grandparents also struggle with feelings of sadness and helplessness.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center knows that real healing comes from supporting the entire family. That’s why we run two programs for grandparents: GASAK, for Grandparent Advocates Supporting Autistic Kids, and C-GRASP, for Caregiver Grandparent Respite and Support Program.
GASAK’s mission is to support, inform and advocate for grandparents with autistic grandchildren. At monthly meetings, GASAK participants network and share information on issues critical to families impacted by autism.
While there are many programs for parents of autistic kids, few if any address the specific issues that come up for grandparents, says Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at the Guidance Center.
“Sometimes the parents are overwhelmed dealing with their children’s needs,” says Cohen. “At GASAK meetings, grandparents can share their own concerns with their peers.”
GASAK member Judy Greenberg says, “A lot of times your friends can’t relate to what you’re going through, but when you walk into the GASAK group, you feel comfortable instantly. Nobody judges you.”
Guest speakers play a vital role at GASAK meetings. They include education lawyers, social workers, special education advocates and others. “When a grandparent leaves a meeting,” says Cohen, “they walk away with information that can make a huge difference in the lives of their children and grandchildren.”
But the camaraderie members experience is perhaps the most important benefit of the group.
One grandmother, who asked that her name not be used, has two autistic grandsons who were nonverbal until they were three years old. When one of them said “Mom” for the first time, the GASAK group celebrated her good news. “There is such compassion among members,” she says. “And by sharing our worries as well as our happy moments, we give new members hope.”
When Grandparents Are in Charge
For a variety of reasons—among them substance use, custodial battles or health issues—sometimes grandparents are placed in the role of primary caregiver. That’s when C-GRASP comes in.
There are many concerns for these grandparents, says Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place. “They are often isolated, struggling with health and financial issues that add stress to the entire family.”
Through partnerships with a team of supportive local entities, the Guidance Center provides the grandparents with a variety of services, including respite and peer support, counseling, housing assistance and school advocacy.
“The grandparents also have the opportunity to develop a social network with other grandparents who are experiencing the same life challenge,” she says.
For the past eight years, Marie and Roger Dextra have been caring for their five grandchildren because of their daughter’s severe depression. Through C-GRASP, Guidance Center advocates go to the children’s school meetings on their behalf. They also receive food donations from Island Harvest.
Despite the many hardships, the Dextras find joy in caring for their grandchildren. “It’s such a passion for me,” Marie says. “When I see them coming, I’m happy.”
With both the C-GRASP and GASAK programs, the Guidance Center’s inclusive family approach makes a huge difference in creating an environment in which children will thrive!
To learn more about C-GRASP, call Taylor-Walthrust at (516) 997-2926, ext. 229. For GASAK schedule and info, call Cohen at (516) 484-3174, ext. 402.
When my best friend’s son was about two years old, he walked over to his great-grandmother’s caretaker and gently touched her skin. “Why is your skin so dark?” asked the young boy, who is Caucasian. “I’m from Haiti,” answered the woman, “and most people there look like me.”
My friend cringed, uncertain of what was coming next from her son’s mouth.
“Oh,” he said. “I like it! It’s very pretty!”
Not all such occasions go so smoothly. What the situation makes clear, however, is that children notice differences. As parents, we may be wary of discussing with our kids how people may be various colors, or religions, or sexual orientations, or any number of possible “differences.” But ignoring the subject is more apt to create bias.
In today’s world, with the rise in anti-Semitism, white nationalism and other forms of discrimination, it’s more important than ever to talk with our children about diversity and how it makes our world a better place.
How can you talk to your children about diversity and discrimination? Here are some guidelines from the American Psychological Association.
Don’t expect to have “the talk” about discrimination. It shouldn’t be one conversation. Rather, let the discussion be open and ongoing.
Parents often avoid talking about hard subjects (including sex, underage drinking and discrimination) because they’re personally uncomfortable. Keep talking anyway. The discussions get easier over time.
Use age-appropriate language children can understand, and don’t give kids too much information at once. The conversation will get deeper and more nuanced as they get older.
Learn to respond to children’s questions about differences and bias as they come up naturally. Help children feel that their questions are welcome, or they might come to believe that discussing differences is taboo.
Help children understand the value of diversity. A diverse set of experiences and viewpoints boosts creativity and helps kids (and adults) better understand the world around them. On the other hand, discrimination hurts everyone – not just the targets of discrimination. When people are discriminated against, we can miss an important opportunity to learn from them.
Take opportunities to raise discussions based on what you see around you – in real life, books, television shows and even video games. You might ask: “There aren’t many female characters in this video game. What do you think of that?” or “Do you think that show accurately portrays LGBT characters, or does it rely on stereotypes?”
Help kids learn how to deal with being the potential target of discrimination. Plan ahead by developing healthy comebacks or responses to hurtful discriminatory statements. For example: “What an unkind thing to say.” “Excuse me? Could you repeat that?” “I disagree with you, and here’s why…”
If you hear children say something discriminatory, don’t just hush them. Use the opportunity as a conversation starter to address their fears and correct their misperceptions.
Challenge your own assumptions and behavior. Do you laugh at racially insensitive jokes? Do you cross the street to avoid passing people of a different ethnic group? Children learn from your actions as well as your words.
Broaden their horizons. Think about the diversity of your own friendship and parenting networks and the places where you spend time. When kids are exposed to people from diverse backgrounds, they have more opportunities to learn about others and discover what they have in common.
Have you spoken to your children about the divisive nature of our current culture? Have any tips to share with other parents? Please send us your thoughts by emailing jkern-rugile@northshorechildguidance.org.
From left: Jacqueline M. Goode, Laura Schaefer, honoree Angela Susan Anton, Joanne K. Adams, Erin King Sweeney, Laura Curran, Laura Gillen, Silvia Cabana, Kimberly Bancroft, Patricia Reinhardt, Libby Imperio (Photos by Tab Hauser)
Philanthropy is of the utmost importance to Anton Media Group, particularly to publisher, Angela Susan Anton. In 2019, the charitable publisher continued her tireless efforts working to give back to the community while also attending many events and publicizing the fundraising efforts of many different important organizations.
A sellout crowd of 245 people joined together for North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center’s annual spring luncheon at Glen Head Country Club this past spring. The event, which supports the Guidance Center’s mission to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families, was a record-breaker, raising more than $87,000.
The Elcano sails into Boston Harbor on April 26.
The joint ceremony and meeting held in Boston on Spain’s Training Ship, The Sebastian Elcano, on the weekend of April 26 was an overwhelming success with both “partners” agreeing on future plans to work and help spread exploration worldwide beyond 2019. It all began on the main deck of the Elcano at a Boston pier with all of the officers and crew on deck, along with the representatives of the Explorers Club (EC). Moving to the main mast, preparations took place to raise the flags of the Explorers Club followed by the Flag of Spain. Angela Susan Anton joined more than 100 people in conversation about the education of their ship and training.
Later in spring, the Belmont Child Care Association’s (BCCA) annual Spring Fling Hat Luncheon and Fashion Show was held on May 30 at the Garden City Hotel. The event honored Anton Media Group publisher Angela Susan Anton and the National Charity League-Garden City chapter. Guests donned colorful hats and welcome spring into their wardrobe. Honoree and publisher Angela Susan Anton wore a hat crafted of her own newspapers, designed by Anton Media Group’s art director Alex Nuñez and assistant art director Cathy Bongiorno. BCCA provides quality child care and education for all of the children of the working families of NYRA’s thoroughbred racetracks, year-round.
Guests enjoy the ‘80s exhibit.
Then, in June, Nassau County Museum of Art (NCMA) went back to the ’80s, hosting the “So ’80s” museum ball, which honored Joseph Graziose, the EVP of residential development and construction for RXR Realty. RXR also sponsored the ball, while NCMA board of trustees president Angela Susan Anton chaired the ball committee, along with co-chairs Lisa Lechleider and Melissa Stark. The black tie ball encouraged guests to wear their best ’80s attire, and they didn’t disappoint with pops of color and accessories fitting in with the theme. Proceeds support the museum’s art exhibitions, public and private programs, art classes, community outreach, family activities and programs for those with special needs including autism and memory loss.
In August, the Nassau County Museum of Art united art and science with energy in a groundbreaking exhibition titled, “Energy: The Power of Art.” Top-tier science and major art by Jackson Pollock, Alexander Calder, Jasper Johns, James Rosenquist, Julie Mehretu, Frank Stella, Joseph Cornell and Man Ray were fused into one dynamic and interactive exhibition. Working with the Brookhaven National Laboratory and the Tesla Museum, this innovative project juxtaposed masterworks in many media with images produced by the most advanced scientific instruments.
In October, Old Westbury Gardens hosted its annual Children in Bloom Luncheon, celebrating its 10th anniversary at Orchard Hill in Old Westbury. The theme was “Diamonds Are Forever” and the event honored Arlene Levine, a founding member of the Children in Bloom Council and a major philanthropist. Money raised from the luncheon support the educational and environmental children’s programs at Old Westbury Gardens and help children of underserved schools. Angela Susan Anton is a longtime supporter of Children In Bloom and its commitment to educating children.
Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, don’t forget to focus on the traditions that bring joy and comfort to you, your children and other family members.
There are several ways in which celebrating your family’s own unique traditions are beneficial to you and your children. First, holidays typically mean the coming together of family and friends with the intention of sharing loving, happy feelings and rituals.
“The holidays are a great time to help your child connect to elders in the family,” says Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “If your child has a hobby or activity that they can enjoy with their grandparents, they can create long-lasting memories.”
Cooking was the activity that bonded Barros-Rivera’s son to his grandmother, and the joy born of those early experiences has lasted throughout many years. “He’s 28 today and loves to join the family in preparing special holiday meals. His memories of my mother are forever special, and the moments for her were priceless.”
Another great way to build connections with significant others in the family is through storytelling. “That’s a wonderful way of giving rooted, positive foundations for present and future relationships,” says Barros-Rivera. Consider videotaping these conversations so you can hold onto them when the storyteller is no longer with you.
Although your family may have many holiday traditions in place, here are six ideas for creating new special memories that will carry over for generations, courtesy of PBS.org:
Cook Together — Include your children in meal prep and baking for holiday gatherings. It’s a great way to have fun and teach kids about cooking and nutrition. While you’re cooking, you can practice math and reading skills—and demonstrate cool science concepts through various cooking techniques.
Make Holiday Greeting Cards and Gifts — Have your kids write holiday cards or letters to family and friends. It’s a great opportunity for children to practice their handwriting, as well as their grammar, spelling and creative writing skills. Also, making gifts at home is a way to encourage creativity.
Explore Your City — When you feel a bit of cabin fever, plan a family outing. Many local parks and zoos feature light displays and other festivities to celebrate the season. You can also visit a local museum and historic sites, or see a play at a local theater.
Play Games — Playing board and trivia games during holiday get-togethers is a good way to enjoy quality time together. Look for ideas online. There are a variety of games—for all ages—that are fun and educational as well.
Enjoy the Great Outdoors — Play with your kids in the backyard or at a local park. If it snows, build a snowman or hit the slopes! You can find fun outdoor games that promote physical activity.
Read Every Day — Take your kids to the local library and borrow books to read over the winter break. And spend time reading together; it helps children develop their literacy skills and excel academically.
Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa or another holiday this time of year, everyone at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center wishes you a wonderful holiday season!
Catherine Castagna and Ernie Lagoja enjoyed the festivities as the Guidance Center co-hosted an event at Brooks Brothers in Manhasset.
Roslyn Heights, NY, December 12, 2019—Earlier in December, for the second year in a row, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Centerpartnered with Americana Manhasset’s Brooks Brothers store to co-host an opening night celebration of Champions For Charity®.
The event featured live jazz, great food and drink, and wonderful conversation as shoppers took advantage of the opportunity to buy beautiful items while contributing to great causes. Twenty-five percent of the pretax price on clothing sold was donated to support the Guidance Center’s mission and that of other charities.
“We’re thrilled that North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center participates in Champions for Charity®, Americana’s annual holiday shopping event benefitting over 100 not-for-profit organizations,” said Catherine Castagna, President of Castagna Realty Co. Inc. “Their dedication to helping children and strengthening families is an inspiration, and they are an indispensable resource in our community. We are proud to support their efforts.”
Since its inception in 1996, Champions for Charity® has raised nearly $14 million. Taking an active role in the community has been an integral part of the Castagna Realty Retail Group’s mission, particularly throughout Americana Manhasset’s 63-year history.
Lauren McGowan, Director of Development at the Guidance Center, said, “We’re very grateful to everyone at Americana Manhasset and Brooks Brothers. They continue to be an invaluable supporter of our lifesaving work.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
