Finding yourself yawning constantly because your babies, toddlers or preschoolers don’t sleep through the night? You may want to attend a free pediatric sleep workshop at 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 3 at the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Right From the Start location in Manhasset.
Certified pediatric sleep consultant Corey Wilbur of Port Washington, founder of her own consulting business called Let There Be Sleep, will talk to parents about how to help their children get the right amount of rest so that the whole family isn’t tired.
“I’m just working with families to help them get their little ones to sleep through the night,” Wilbur says. She’ll be talking about making sure the sleep environment is safe and conducive to sleep, napping schedules, and four basic methods of sleep training.
The session is for anyone from expectant parents to parents of 4-year-olds, Wilbur says; she has two boys herself, ages 2 and 4. Advance registration isn’t required; children may attend, but there is no baby-sitting available. The center is at 80 N. Service Rd. of the Long Island Expressway, Manhasset. For more information, call 516-626-1971 or visit northshorechildguidance.org.
Like many people, I struggle with anxiety and depression, which started when I was a teenager. Somehow I had the will power to document my journey from hospitalizations, suicide attempts, brain surgery and just navigating life. The rest is history inside a book I wrote called Creative Mind: Diary of Teenage Mental Illness.
One of the issues I chronicle in my book is the challenge of finding a psychiatrist that has openings, or is on your insurance, or is available to see you within a reasonable amount of time. This is a national problem, as well as a personal one. (Editor’s note: click here to read more about the issue of timely and affordable access to treatment for mental illness.)
Not long ago, I found myself once again without a doctor to treat my depression—or in this case a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner (PNP), whom I had last seen in June. When I went to refill my prescription, the pharmacy informed me that they could not reach anyone from the PNP’s office. When I tried to call her, I expected to at least speak with the secretary, but I couldn’t reach anyone. The next day I called again. Still no answer. I left a message stating I needed my medication refilled but my call wasn’t returned.
Luckily my neurologist had the prescription refilled for me and I was able to pick up my medication, but for so many people, this can be a truly devastating situation.
With my medication taken care of for the time being, I was good for a while. I had some wonderful changes in my life: I got married, returned from my honeymoon and enjoyed the summer. I had nothing to worry about—or so I thought. With the summer coming to an end, work became busier and I returned to school. It was stressful, but I was able to handle the stress.
I didn’t see the dip that was coming.
A “dip” is what my mom and I call it when I go into a deep depression, and unfortunately, I started to dip. Could this have been due to an extra work load and anxiety from the anticipation of school? Whatever the reasons, I decided that I needed to make an appointment with my PNP. It was the end of July; I was making calls to her office every day. One day I even took a drive to her office. The office was shared by other practitioners, but my PNP and her secretary were nowhere in sight.
I heard another worker in the office; I rattled my car keys to get somebody’s attention, but got no acknowledgment. I resorted to loud, obnoxious coughing, which finally did the trick. A counselor came out of her office and asked me what I needed. I explained my situation and to my surprise the PNP’s absence was due to a hospital stay. Additionally, her secretary just returned from vacation and I had just missed her.
With all of these complications and uncertainties, I decided to search for an alternative to my PNP, so I researched various doctors and made some phone calls.
Finding a specialist shouldn’t be this difficult. It should require making a phone call, making sure they accept your insurance, and booking an appointment. Simple, right? Not the case. I quit after four phone calls.
The offices I called did not accept insurance, which is common. There are so many people listed on Psychology Today’s website, but almost none of them take insurance. My mom and I accepted that, for now, insurance did not matter—until I found out that an evaluation was $500!
The good news is that I am doing well right now, and I can get my medication through my neurologist, but not everyone has that option. Although the journey is rough sometimes, I urge people not to quit seeking help. It’s important to remember that every day is another opportunity for a great day.
I will continue to write my story and help others along the way.
Bio: Guest blogger Nicole Nagy is a social worker and author of Creative Mind: Diary of Teenage Mental Illness, available at amazon.com.
Finding Help
If your child or teen needs help with anxiety, depression or any other mental health issue, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. We take most insurance plans, and we never turn anyone away for inability to pay.
Finding Help
If your child or teen needs help with anxiety, depression or any other mental health issue, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. We take most insurance plans, and we never turn anyone away for inability to pay.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we not only provide counseling, but we also offer some very innovative programs targeted at specific needs and sectors of our local communities.
One of those programs is the Latina Girls Project, which was created to respond to the alarming rate of depression, school refusal, self-harm, sexual abuse, suicidal ideation and attempted suicides by Hispanic girls, ages 12-17. In addition to bilingual individual, family and group therapy, the program incorporates a youth enrichment component that is comprised of monthly supervised outings to places such as theaters, museums and other cultural and educational sites. These trips also offer respite to the parents who are relieved to know that their daughters are in safe hands and doing worthwhile things.
All of the trips are sponsored by our very generous donors, John and Janet Kornreich.
In celebration of Hispanic Heritage Month, here is a summary of two recent trips:
Exploring the Arts:
We had a great turnout for our trip to Muse PaintBar in Garden City. At first, some of the girls said they had no artistic talent and were a little nervous about painting. But the instructor was great, and assured them that everyone has an inner artist! The instructor told them not to feel like they should copy exactly what they saw; instead, she said it’s like handwriting, where everyone has their own individual style. The message was that you are 100% good enough just the way you are, and that you can do so much more than you thought possible.
What was so impressive was how the girls’ level of concentration was so strong. Many of them say they have trouble concentrating in school, but they were fully attentive when it came to being creative.
In addition, the girls are so respectful of the space they are in. There is no cursing, or pushing, or teasing. They even make sure the van is clean after we use it. Part of what we teach them is how to behave appropriately in the world. This goes hand in hand with developing self-respect, which is a key component to emotional well-being. Their behavior makes all of us very proud—and it rightfully makes them proud of themselves!
A Day at the Theater:
For another recent trip, we saw a wonderful musical called The Buddy Holly Story at The John W. Engeman Theater in Northport, a beautiful venue that uses professional actors directly from the Broadway talent pool.
Even though Buddy Holly lived well before their time, the girls were fascinated by his story. Buddy was a young person who went after his dreams, despite any obstacles that faced him, and that message was inspiring for the girls. He was also someone who broke tradition by playing at the Apollo Theater, which at that time featured only black performers.
There is an especially meaningful scene when Buddy gets on stage at the Apollo and both he and the audience are surprised that, as a white man, he is the featured talent. But once he began to play, it was clear that what is on the outside in terms of race and color isn’t important; the message that diversity should be welcomed was one that the girls could truly appreciate.
They also were surprised and delighted to see that Buddy married a Latina woman and also that Richie Valens, who sang the still-famous song La Bamba (which the girls knew), was part of Buddy’s tour. The girls experience racism in their lives regularly, especially in these times when immigrants are looked down upon by some people in our country. They were uplifted by this story’s very inclusive and positive message!
To learn more about the Latina Girls Project and other Guidance Center programs, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
In August 2019 the news was dominated by stories about the horrific mass shootings in Gilroy, Calif.; El Paso, Odessa and Midland, Texas; and Dayton, Ohio. In all, 41 died and more than 90 were wounded.
Among the dead and injured were children. As for the count of those who were emotionally impacted, that cannot be quantified. It transcends the boundaries of those locales.
In a familiar refrain, at the same time that the headlines screamed, the nation mourned and politicians took sides about causes and solutions. There was also a series of stories about efforts to institute mental health days in public schools, including in New York.
It’s not complicated to understand the value of a mental health day unless you are someone who denies that emotional health is as important as physical health. As it stands, New York schools can determine what constitutes a legitimate absence, but the proposed legislation would make a mental health issue an acceptable reason for a student missing school.
Laws like this have already passed in Oregon thanks to the leadership of a number of student activists who pointed to ever-climbing suicide rates. Utah and Minnesota have passed similar laws. Still, the proposed legislation has its detractors, many of whom dismissed the notion in a disparaging manner. Following are a few comments that were posted on social media:
“Of course there are students with serious mental health issues. This would/should already be recognized and documented by professional mental health practitioners. Why do we need legislation to allow [kids] who are too stressed over texting all night to take a day off?”
“Kids need to suck it up & go to school. I didn’t have mental health days; my parents raised me with manners, to respect others, go to school and never quit, and if I ever got into trouble I got punished! Kids today are not being disciplined, have zero manners & act like babies.”
“Snow-flakes have mental health issues. They are emotional wrecks over ANYTHING that upsets them… Yes, there are serious mental health issues, but cry rooms in college and days off because you had a fight with a BFF? Please, this is a MAJOR offense to the REAL mental issues like gun violence.”
“We just keep getting softer and softer… The greatest generation must be just heartbroken that we’ve let it get this bad.”
“I cant go to class today ‘ma im questioning my sexual identity.”
“LMFAO!! Bunch of pansies.”
Of course, not everyone took that viewpoint. As one parent put it, “I for one am glad. As a parent of a teen that has thought of suicide [and] actively self-harms, this will relieve some of my stress and anxiety.”
In reading the critical social media posts, I get where some of these people are coming from. I am a strong work ethic guy. As a former high school and college athlete, I learned early on about “sucking it up,” playing injured and keeping my mouth shut. As for discussing emotional issues, that was a no-no.
Times have changed and for the better. Having a strong work ethic is a question of values, which is not negated by saying when you are hurt — physically or emotionally. Being open about a mental health problem is not a sign of weakness or a sign that you’re a “snowflake,” implying an unwarranted sense of entitlement or being overly emotional.
On balance, the new legislation will go a long way toward reducing the stigma of mental illness and tempering the toxic masculinity that enabled me to keep concussions a secret during my teenage years.
The mass shootings? As the debate about causes and solutions advances, the level of anxiety and fear among our children is escalating. Would a mental health day following a mass shooting be justified? Or is that just another snowflake excuse to miss school? Let’s hope it’s the former because the day it is not is the day America cashes in its humanity.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Manhasset, NY, August 29, 2019 —Do you have any infant or toddler who has trouble getting on a regular sleep schedule? You’re not alone! Many parents aren’t sure how to help their children get the right amount of sleep—and that means the whole family is tired.
On October 3rd, 2019, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be holding a free Pediatric Sleep Workshop at its Marks Family Right From the Start 0-3+ Center, located at 80 North Service Road, L.I.E., Manhasset. The presenter will be Corey Wilbur, a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Licensed Family Therapist and founder of Let There Be Sleep LLC.
Wilbur, a Port Washington mother of two boys, experienced the difficulties of getting her first child on a regular sleep schedule, which led her to want to help other parents facing similar problems.
“I was an exhausted and frustrated parent who had tried everything after the birth of my first son, who had colic,” she says. “I struggled to get him to sleep more than an hour or two in a row at night.”
During the day her son would only nap while being held. “I saw no relief in sight,” says Wilbur. “I wasn’t able to truly enjoy being a mom. Instead, my life revolved around trying to get my son to sleep and taking cat-naps whenever I could.”
A colleague recommended that Wilbur use a Certified Sleep Consultant, and she was glad she took that advice. After implementing the suggestions of the Sleep Consultant, in just under two weeks her son went from waking every 2-3 hours at night to sleeping 11-12 consecutive hours at night, as well as taking 90-minute naps by himself.
“It was absolutely amazing!” says Wilbur. “I couldn’t believe how much better I felt and how much more I enjoyed being a mom. I wanted to tell every tired parent how they, too, could get a good night’s rest.”
At the workshop, Wilbur will share tips for parents of young children (ages 4 months—2 years), including:
Establishing healthy sleep routines at each age and stage
Setting safe sleep spaces that also improve the quality of sleep
Reducing sleep associations
Reducing cat napping and night wakings
Vanessa McMullan, who heads up the Guidance Center’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, says the workshop is a terrific way to help parents to get concrete tips on approaching sleep problems. “Lack of sleep is a big source of stress for many moms and dads, too,” says McMullan. “When children aren’t sleeping, their parents aren’t sleeping, so they are less equipped to handle their responsibilities. It has an effect on the whole family.”
For more information about this free workshop, please contact Vanessa McMullan at the Guidance Center, (516) 484-3174, extension 415 or email VMcMullan@northshorechildguidance.org.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; trauma; and family crises stemming from illness, death and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
