On Tuesday evening, Sept. 24, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted a fundraiser for its Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court. The event, which was held at Tesoro’s Ristorante in Westbury, featured wonderful entertainment by musician and soul crooner Paul Loren, along with cocktails and a buffet dinner.
The event raised over $17,000 for the Children’s Center, which provides care and early learning to almost 2,000 children annually, ages 6 weeks to 12 years, while their parents or guardians are conducting court business.
At the event, Nassau County Legislator Joshua Lafazan presented a citation to the Guidance Center honoring the Children’s Center program. “North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center knows that the best investment one can make is in a child,” said Lafazan. “I am proud to support their efforts as they make a difference in the lives of youths and families all across Long Island.”
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, director of The Leeds Place (under which the Children’s Center operates), explained that the Children’s Center is not a babysitting service but rather an early learning center. “Often this is a child’s first exposure to an early learning environment,” she said. “Every aspect of the Center promotes learning by which the children can explore new things in a safe, structured and professionally supervised setting.”
Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, thanked the two full-time staff members and the valued volunteers, without whom the Children’s Center’s high level of service wouldn’t be possible.
He also acknowledged Laurie Joseph-Yehuda and Rene Joseph, the daughter and widow of the late Honorable Burton S. Joseph, founder of the Children’s Center, who were in attendance. Joseph-Yehuda is a member of the Children’s Center Advisory Council and Joseph painted the beautiful murals on the wall of the Children’s Center many years ago.
Walthrust thanked co-chairs Allison Cacace, Bob Mangi, and John Zenir for their dedication to the third annual event. “This fundraiser is critical for the Children’s Center, as funds for it have been drastically cut over the years, though we have been able to keep it open full time,” she said.
The fundraiser was sponsored by an array of local law firms and other businesses, including Aiello, DiFalco & Gianakos, LLP; Barnes Catterson LoFrumento Barnen, LLP; Casino One Limousines; DiMascio & Associates, LLP; Gassman Baiamonte Betts, PC; Mangi & Graham, LLP; Mejias, Milgrim & Alvarado, PC; Schlissel Ostrow Karabatos, PLLC; The Law Firm of Edwards & Rockmore, PC; The Law Practice of John M. Zenir; The Pessala Family; The Virdone Law Firm, PC; Vishnick McGovern Milizio, LLP; and the family of Hon. Burton S. Joseph, Founder of the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court.
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 26, 2018 — On Tuesday evening September 24th, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted a fundraiser for its Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court. The event, which was held at Tesoro’s Ristorante Cucini Italiana in Westbury, featured wonderful entertainment by musician and soul crooner Paul Loren, along with cocktails and a buffet dinner.
The event raised over $17,000 for the Children’s Center, which provides care and early learning to almost 2,000 children annually, ages 6 weeks – 12 years, while their parents or guardians are conducting court business.
At the event, Nassau County Legislator Joshua Lafazan presented a citation to the Guidance Center honoring the Children’s Center program. “North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center knows that the best investment one can make is in a child,” said Lafazan. “I am proud to support their efforts as they make a difference in the lives of youths and families all across Long Island.”
Seated: Carolyn Germany, Corinthian Sistrunk, Allison Cacace, Robert and Joan Antonik. Standing: Mace Greenfield, Judge Andrea Phoenix.
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of The Leeds Place (under which the Children’s Center operates), explained that the Children’s Center is not a babysitting service but rather an early learning center. “Often this is a child’s first exposure to an early learning environment,” she said. “Every aspect of the Center promotes learning by which the children can explore new things in a safe, structured and professionally supervised setting.”
Lauren McGowan, Bob Mangi, Allison Cacace, Legislator Joshua Lafazan, John Zenir and Andrew Malekoff
Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center, thanked the two full-time staff members and the valued volunteers, without whom the Children’s Center’s high level of service wouldn’t be possible. He also acknowledged Laurie Joseph-Yehuda and Rene Joseph, the daughter and widow of the late Honorable Burton S. Joseph, founder of the Children’s Center, who were in attendance. Laurie is a member of the Children’s Center Advisory Council and Rene painted the beautiful murals on the wall of the Children’s Center many years ago.
Dr. Walthrust thanked co-chairs Allison Cacace, Bob Mangi, Esq. and John Zenir, Esq., P.C. for their dedication to the third annual event. “This fundraiser is critical for the Children’s Center, as funds for it have been drastically cut over the years, though we have been able to keep it open full time,” she said.
Allison Cacace and Judge Andrea Phoenix
The fundraiser was sponsored by an array of local law firms and other businesses, including Aiello, DiFalco & Gianakos, LLP; Barnes Catterson LoFrumento Barnen, LLP; Casino One Limousines; DiMascio & Associates, LLP; Gassman Baiamonte Betts, PC; Mangi & Graham, LLP; Mejias, Milgrim
& Alvarado, PC; Schlissel Ostrow Karabatos, PLLC; The Law Firm of Edwards & Rockmore, PC; The Law Practice of John M. Zenir; The Pessala Family; The Virdone Law Firm, PC; Vishnick McGovern Milizio, LLP; and the family of Hon. Burton S. Joseph, Founder of the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court.
Three years ago on a bright September morning, my wife Dale phoned me at my office in Roslyn Heights to tell me about something disturbing that had just happened to her. It was a few days before the Jewish New Year when our family comes together.
Dale and I both grew up in New Jersey. We relocated permanently to Long Island after we were married in 1980. We raised our children here. She has been teaching art to high school students at the Hebrew Academy of Five Towns and Rockaway, a Yeshiva in Cedarhurst, for close to 35 years.
This is the story she told to me.
She had been shopping at King Kullen in Island Park, about a mile-and-a-half from our home in Long Beach. She was standing in a checkout line unloading a shopping cart full of groceries on to the conveyer belt.
A large man stepped up to wait in line behind her. He had only a few items in a smaller hand-held basket. He seemed agitated; she said she thought it was because he’d have to wait.
Trying to be helpful, she pointed out to him that a cashier had just opened another register just a few aisles away and that there was no one standing in that line.
The man didn’t react. He just stood there, muttering under his breath, appearing to be dissatisfied with the pace of the transaction in front of him.
In my wife’s basket were a number of items for cooking and baking traditional foods for the holidays: brisket, chicken, soup greens, matzo ball mix, and so forth.
Also in the basket were four Yahrzeit candles that we light each year at this time to remember our parents, three of whom died in the 1990s, all well before their 80thbirthdays. My mother-in-law Ida was the only one who made it past the age of 80.
The man continued mumbling under his breath and, finally, he said out loud: “You know the ovens are still open.”
It was a frozen moment. The checkout girl and Dale just looked at one another. It was one of those surreal moments that can leave one feeling momentarily numb.
There was no physical altercation, no yelling, no overt anger. But, in my view, it was every bit of a violent moment.
As she recounted her experience she said, “I wish you were there with me.” I thought about that. Had I been there I’m not sure what I would have done. Initiated a physical confrontation? Shouted him down? Assessed him as mentally disturbed and ignored him? Calmly asked him, “What do you mean by that?” I’ll never know for sure.
What I do know is that anti-Semitism is alive and well.
My wife’s disturbing experience, on the eve of our High Holy Days, was a fleeting yet indelibly shocking moment and reminder of how close to the surface anti-Semitism is, particularly in the increasingly divided nation our children are inheriting.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
Long Island families find challenges – and support – when life gives them a second go-round at raising children.
Brant and Eileen Brown, of East Islip, share a float with their grandson, JJ, 14, during a recent camping outing at Indian Island Park in Riverhead. At right is Brant’s son, Herbert Brown. Photo Credit: Barry Sloan
By Arlene Gross
Special to Newsday
Eileen Brown will never forget July 21, 2013.
“It’s the day our lives changed in a nanosecond,” Brown said, referring to the day her daughter was arrested and charged with armed robbery.
At that point, Brown and her husband were getting ready to retire and travel the world.
“We had a plan, and God laughed,” she said. “He gave us a different plan.”
The East Islip couple had to immediately take charge of JJ, Eileen’s 9-year-old grandson, because his father also couldn’t care for him.
After her arrest, Brown’s daughter, who has developmental disabilities and is bipolar, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 3 years in prison.
“No one had any preparation time,” Brown said, explaining that JJ had been left at home with a babysitter and later learned that his mother wasn’t coming home and his dad couldn’t take care of him. “It was quite traumatic for everybody,” Brown said.
At first, Eileen, 60, and her husband, Brant, 74, the daughter’s stepfather, were thrown off kilter, encountering difficulties arranging for child care.
“We were truthfully feeling sorry for ourselves, a little angry, very overwhelmed,” Brown said.
Although Eileen’s daughter was released from prison in 2016, she was not awarded custody. Around this time, Eileen said, JJ was diagnosed with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder and intermittent explosive disorder — all compounded by the loss of his parents’ presence in his life.
The Browns placed their grandson in a residential program for several months, and they found support for themselves. They joined support groups — SASI for autism, CHADD for attention deficit disorders, and Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.
For the past two years, JJ, 14, has lived in Green Chimneys, an educational and clinical residence for children with special needs, where he will be for another year. He comes home to his grandparents from the upstate Brewster school many weekends and for vacations — like the family’s late-August two-week camping trip to Indian Island Park in Riverhead.
Brown observed that although JJ and her daughter have similar problems, she has found it easier to deal with her grandson.
“I’m older. I’m a little bit more experienced. There’s definitely more services out there than there were when I was going through this in the ‘80s,” she said.
Despite JJ’s parents’ love for him, Brown said, “They’re just not equipped to take care of him.”
As JJ gets older, things don’t get easier, she said. “The challenges become different. You just have to deal with them as they come along.”
According to the 2010 census, Suffolk County had the highest number of grandchildren living in households headed by their grandparents (29,591) in New York State, second only to New York City, noted Dinah Torres Castro, who coordinates the Relatives as Parents Program for the Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County.
Most people think caring for their grandkids will be a temporary arrangement, Castro said. “The truth of the matter is that most grandparents that take in a grandchild wind up taking care of that child for seven years or more.”
LOVE STRENGTHENS RESOLVE
In addition to the five grandchildren they’ve helped care for over the years, while their children were working, Marie and Roger Dextra are now raising three grandchildren.
“They always thought when they’d get older they’d move back to Haiti,” said Marmeline Martin, an outreach worker for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Caregiver-Grandparent Respite and Support Program who has worked with the family. “But they can’t, because they have to take care of their grandchildren.”
For the past seven years, Brianna, 12, Brian, 11, and Ronald, 10, have lived at the Dextras’ Westbury home because their mother’s severe depression prevents her from caring for them.
Marie and Roger Dextra, who speak limited English, take advantage of the services from C-GRASP, as the guidance center program is known. They include advocates like Martin going to the children’s school meetings on their behalf and receiving food donations from Island Harvest.
The Dextras said their abiding faith and familial love strengthen their resolve.
“God gives me the patience to raise these kids, because they don’t have anybody else to raise them,” said Marie, 73.
“These are our grandchildren,” said Roger, 79. “We have to do it — there’s no other choice.”
Despite the many burdens and hardships, the Dextras find joy in caring for their grandchildren.
“It’s such a passion for me,” Marie said. “When I see them coming, I’m happy.”
The children accept living under their grandparents’ care, though their own parents’ home is nearby, Marie said.
“They understand she’s sick, and God will take care of them,” Marie said of her daughter-in-law.
To other grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, Marie offers some words of advice: “Be patient when no one else can care for them. Be a believer in the Lord to give you the strength.”
SUPPORT FOR THE LONG TERM
About one in 10 members among the 13 Families Anonymous groups on Long Island are raising their grandchildren because the children’s parents’ drug abuse resulted in death or an inability to be caregivers, said Donna D., who has 22 years’ experience in FA and is on its World Service Board and chair of its Group Outreach Committee. The 12-step program aims to provide fellowship and support for family and friends of those with drug and alcohol and related behavioral problems. In keeping with FA’s tradition of anonymity, the Islip Town resident did not want to give her last name.
She said Families Anonymous meetings can help enlighten grandparents about ways they may have enabled their loved ones’ drug abuse; learning new behaviors can lead to treatment for the parents, enabling reunification with their children and relieving the grandparents of caregiving. “There’s no judging. There’s no advice-giving. There’s no opinions,” Donna said of the meetings.
Drug abuse, incarceration and mental illness have resulted in more and more grandparents raising their grandchildren, said Pam Giacoia, who runs the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren support group in Hampton Bays.
“The biggest challenges I see grandparents facing are finances, parenting issues pertaining to schoolwork, discipline and technology, needing support while going through legal issues, dealing with adult children, and, in general, emotional support while trying to raise their grandkids,” she said.
“They step in,” Giacoia said of the grandparents. “I’ve had people in my group that are from their 50s all the way up to great-grandparents that are raising their kids into their 70s and 80s.” The world has changed drastically from when they raised their own kids, she said.
Grandparents seeking financial assistance can contact the state Office of Temporary Disability Assistance, which offers temporary assistance for needy families. They can also contact different local nonprofit agencies, such as the Family Service League in Suffolk County and North Shore Family & Child Guidance in Nassau.
PASTA (Parenting a Second Time Around), an eight-session curriculum developed by Cornell Cooperative Extension, and Grandparents’ Support Group in Shirley, can help guide grandparents through their journey.
“Sometimes when they get custody of their grandchildren, they’re totally ill-equipped to be parenting again,” said Torres Castro, noting that advancing age or juggling full-time work with child-rearing are among potential obstacles.
“We give the space for them to feel it’s OK to resent the fact that this is what they’re doing right now, but it’s also OK to focus on the child that they need to provide love, safety and security for,” she said. “That’s what the support group does. It helps them to focus on that.”
Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, who heads the North Shore grandparenting support center, said its services help grandparents experiencing isolation and struggling with health and financial issues, which increase stress.
“They also have the opportunity to develop a social network with other grandparents that are experiencing the same life challenge,” Taylor-Walthrust said.
Brown said the advice and support her family has received over the years has helped keep her focused on guiding her grandson — and preparing him for a life independent from her.
“Going to support groups and knowing we weren’t alone in this was crucial for all of us, but especially for my grandson,” she said.
SUPPORT FOR RAISING GRANDKIDS
Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
Town of Southampton Senior Center, 25 Ponquogue Ave., Hampton Bays
Meets 6 to 8 p.m., the second Wednesday of each month
Dinner and discussion, sometimes with speakers; child care provided
Contact: Pam Giacoia, 631-728-1235
Shirley Grandparents’ Support Group
Mastics-Moriches-Shirley Community Library
407 William Floyd Pkwy., Shirley
6 to 7:30 p.m. the last Tuesday of the month
Group discussion; guest speakers; must register; child care on request
Contact: Pat Mininni 631-399-1511, ext. 377
C-GRASP of North Shore Child & Family Guidance
The Leeds Place, 999 Brush Hollow Rd., Westbury
Education, respite, counseling, school advocacy, clothing, food, housing assistance and transportation for grandparents who are primary caregivers of their grandchildren
By now I imagine you’ve heard all about “The Cosby Show” actor Geoffrey Owens who was job-shamed for working at Trader Joe’s.
If you haven’t heard or just to refresh: a customer recognized him, snapped a few unflattering photos of him bagging potatoes and sold it to a tabloid news outlet that gave it a derisive can-you-believe-what-he’s-doing-now hook.
If you are a parent, this is a great story to share and discuss with your kids. If you are a young person still in school it is an important lesson to absorb, store away and preserve so you can come back to it. You might find that you will need it one day.
Although Yale graduate Owens admitted to feeling humiliated by being exposed in such a disdainful manner, he said that he was not embarrassed about having a side job at Trader Joe’s and that many working actors need to supplement their income to help support themselves and their families.
Social media picked up his cause, which led to myriad media appearances and a viral social media presence. He used the opportunity to give voice to the dignity of work.
Here is what he said about that in a Sept. 4 Time magazine video interview: “The fact that I, as the guy from ‘The Cosby Show,’ was shamed about working at Trader Joe’s, that story is going to move on, that’s gonna pass. What I hope doesn’t pass is this new recognition, this current sensitivity people are feeling about work and about people working. I hope what continues to resonate is the idea that one job is not better than another. A certain job might pay more, might have better benefits and might look better on paper, but essentially one kind of work is not better, superior to another kind of work and that we reevaluate that whole idea and we just start honoring the dignity of work and respecting the dignity of the working person.”
Ironically, Owens’ job-shaming experience led to thousands of tributes on Twitter, a new acting job with producer-director Tyler Perry and offers of cash gifts from celebrities like rapper Nicki Minaj, all of whom were so moved by Owens.
I found the story to be personally uplifting; and, not because Owens benefited with renewed notoriety and a promising new acting job, but because of his humanity and the dignity he displayed in representing working stiffs all across America, regardless of their stripe or station in life.
Bravo Geoffrey Owens. Well done!
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
Did you know that every day more than 290 Americans die from suicide or a drug overdose?
With proper treatment, many of these tragedies could be prevented — but despite a law that guarantees coverage, people face enormous roadblocks when they seek care.
In 2008 President George W. Bush signed the landmark Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act (Parity Act).
The Parity Act mandates equal insurance coverage for mental health and substance use disorders as compared to other medical/surgical benefits covered by the plan.
According to its new website parityat10.com, “Parity at 10 seeks to ensure that insurance carriers and state Medicaid programs comply with the law so that consumers can access the evidence-based health care they need and are entitled by law to receive.”
What does equal insurance coverage mean?
It means ending insurer discrimination against access to timely and affordable care including high out-of-pocket costs and shorter lengths of care for MH/SUD.
Parity — which is another word for equity — in this case means that MH/SUD coverage must be provided on par with coverage of medical and surgical care.
Notably, this legislation was the result of a bipartisan effort by Sens. Paul Wellstone, a liberal Democrat, and Pete Domenici, a conservative Republican. What the senators had in common were personal family experiences that motivated their tireless efforts to pass this law.
Parity saves lives. Parity law is a civil rights law that has not been vigorously enforced by the States, which have the primary responsibility for enforcement of private insurance and Medicaid.
One of the most pernicious violations and barriers to care is inadequate networks of MH/SUD providers.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center documented this in its 2018 Project Access Study which surveyed 650 Long Island consumers of MH/SUD care. Nearly 50 percent of respondents said that it was easier for them to access medical/surgical care than MH/SUD Care.
Nationally, patients responding to a National Alliance on Mental Illness survey reported being denied twice as often for mental health care as for medical-surgical care under the Affordable Care Act.
The actuarial firm Milliman reviewed claims data in New York and found that patients had to go out-of-network for MH/SUD care far more often than for medical/surgical care — a very expensive proposition that flies in the face of the Parity Act.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we are a proud partner of the Parity at 10 Compliance Campaign. On August 10 I attended an inaugural Parity at 10 meeting in Albany with my fellow advocates and top officials in the Cuomo administration.
Some of the details in this column were included in the policy brief provided to Gov. Cuomo. The consensus among the advocates was that insurers do everything in their power to skirt parity.
Another staunch supporter of the original legislation was Patrick J. Kennedy, a former member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Kennedy struggled with mental illness and addiction for most of his life.
In his book “A Common Struggle,” Kennedy said the battle ahead is for the law to be enforced in the face of health insurers who stand to profit by denying the full range of coverage for people living with mental illness and addictions.
Kennedy rightly frames the inequities that people with mental illness and addictions face as a matter of civil rights.
Discriminatory insurance coverage for those with mental health and substance use disorders must end. When insurers do not comply with the law and enforcement is inadequate, millions of Americans are at risk.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
In the aftermath of the 17th anniversary of September 11, I offer a remembrance of several groups of people—all Queens court personnel—whom I spent a day with in their courthouse, just three days after the 2001 terrorist attack.
The people I met with included individuals with missing relatives or friends, individuals with relatives or friends confirmed dead, individuals who were in the World Trade Center complex during the attack, individuals with family members who barely escaped, and individuals who witnessed the attack and collapse of the Twin Towers from courthouse windows. All were deeply affected. Most were in a state of shock and disbelief.
When I arrived at the courthouse, I learned that I would be meeting with three groups of 8 to 12 people each. I was called in by an official from an Employee Assistance Program to offer a supportive group experience. We met in a vacant courtroom. I arranged chairs around two adjacent prosecution and defense tables.
As I awaited the first group, a court officer said, “Today should be interesting.” I asked him what he meant. He said, “It’s foreclosure Friday.” He explained that every Friday they have an auction of foreclosed property and, typically, about 200 Arab-Americans participate in the auction, signaling a sense of mounting unease with people of Middle Eastern descent.
I greeted the first group, and one by one the participants revealed signs and symptoms of trauma and stress. These included numbness, shock, headaches, loss of appetite, aches and pains, frequent trips to the bathroom, sleeplessness, flashbacks, startle responses to loud noises (especially airplanes), helplessness, gruesome nightmares, anger, uncertainty, guilt and fear.
Fear was a powerful theme. Many felt that the courthouse was unsafe. During the final group meeting a female court officer walked in unannounced and searched for explosives, explaining there was a bomb threat.
At least one or two people wept openly in each group, women and men. In each group at least one person left the room to compose themselves and then came back. More than one person said, “I can’t stop crying.” And more than one said, “I can’t cry.”
Anger was a prevailing theme. There was anger at the government. “How could they let this happen?” they asked.
Many shared feelings of disbelief, saying how surreal it seems. One said, “I am in a semi-daze; I feel like I’m not even here.”
Guilt was prevalent, especially about going on with mundane day-to-day activities. A court officer said he felt insignificant, like “a grain of sand.” He said he felt helpless and wondered if he was going crazy.
One group participant’s son escaped from the 78th floor. He took the stairs. His co-workers waited for the elevator. They didn’t survive. The son’s story was retold by his mother through sobs. When he emerged from the building, she shared, he witnessed “flaming bodies falling from the sky.” Two others held her hands as she told the story.
In each group people reached out to comfort one another through physical touch and understanding words. In one group a woman who said she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t cried was brought to tears by another’s pain over a missing sister.
In closing, the participants in one group agreed that “it’s good to know you’re not alone,” and “it’s good to know you’re not going crazy.”
I found the intensity of that experience and the participants’ ability to reach out to one another moving. Although I was there to facilitate, my role was to bear witness. It confirmed for me what I was already feeling; when facing incomprehensible tragedy and overwhelming grief we must push ourselves to forgo isolation and reach out to one another.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
Did you know that every day more than 290 Americans die from suicide or a drug overdose?
With proper treatment, many of these tragedies could be prevented — but despite a law that guarantees coverage, people face enormous roadblocks when they seek care.
In 2008 President George W. Bush signed the landmark Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act (Parity Act).
The Parity Act mandates equal insurance coverage for mental health and substance use disorders as compared to other medical/surgical benefits covered by the plan.
According to its new website parityat10.com, “Parity at 10 seeks to ensure that insurance carriers and state Medicaid programs comply with the law so that consumers can access the evidence-based health care they need and are entitled by law to receive.”
What does equal insurance coverage mean?
It means ending insurer discrimination against access to timely and affordable care including high out-of-pocket costs and shorter lengths of care for MH/SUD.
Parity — which is another word for equity — in this case means that MH/SUD coverage must be provided on par with coverage of medical and surgical care.
Notably, this legislation was the result of a bipartisan effort by Sens. Paul Wellstone, a liberal Democrat, and Pete Domenici, a conservative Republican. What the senators had in common were personal family experiences that motivated their tireless efforts to pass this law.
Parity saves lives. Parity law is a civil rights law that has not been vigorously enforced by the States, which have the primary responsibility for enforcement of private insurance and Medicaid.
One of the most pernicious violations and barriers to care is inadequate networks of MH/SUD providers.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center documented this in its 2018 Project Access Study which surveyed 650 Long Island consumers of MH/SUD care. Nearly 50 percent of respondents said that it was easier for them to access medical/surgical care than MH/SUD Care.
Nationally, patients responding to a National Alliance on Mental Illness survey reported being denied twice as often for mental health care as for medical-surgical care under the Affordable Care Act.
The actuarial firm Milliman reviewed claims data in New York and found that patients had to go out-of-network for MH/SUD care far more often than for medical/surgical care — a very expensive proposition that flies in the face of the Parity Act.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we are a proud partner of the Parity at 10 Compliance Campaign. On August 10 I attended an inaugural Parity at 10 meeting in Albany with my fellow advocates and top officials in the Cuomo administration.
Some of the details in this column were included in the policy brief provided to Gov. Cuomo. The consensus among the advocates was that insurers do everything in their power to skirt parity.
Another staunch supporter of the original legislation was Patrick J. Kennedy, a former member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Kennedy struggled with mental illness and addiction for most of his life.
In his book “A Common Struggle,” Kennedy said the battle ahead is for the law to be enforced in the face of health insurers who stand to profit by denying the full range of coverage for people living with mental illness and addictions.
Kennedy rightly frames the inequities that people with mental illness and addictions face as a matter of civil rights.
Discriminatory insurance coverage for those with mental health and substance use disorders must end. When insurers do not comply with the law and enforcement is inadequate, millions of Americans are at risk.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
In recent years I have written about concussions in youth sports in this space, with a special focus on Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), a progressive degenerative disease of the brain that is the result of repetitive brain trauma. This was something I knew nothing about in my teenage years. As a high school and college football player in the 1960s and ’70s, using one’s head as a battering ram and shock absorber was expected.
Beyond the discovery of CTE and what it has generated in the way of much-improved player safety, August never fails to evoke memories of twice-daily summer practices when guys like me went to “training camp” before school started. Training camp lasted about two weeks. It was usually hot out. They were two weeks that felt like a year. Those were the make or break days of my youth. No one was cut from the team as long as they showed up, but many did not last.
The rawest depiction of a brutal summer football camp can be found in the book The Junction Boys by Jim Dent. The subtitle of the book is How Ten Days in Hell with Bear Bryant Forged a Championship Team. Although I never went through anything quite like the Junction Boys did, it seems that all high school and college football players have similar war stories about summer camp.
I’m not about to rehash what I’ve since learned since the discovery of CTE and the need for protective measures or share stories from my summer football camp days. However, at the risk of being cliché, there are some important lessons I learned from playing football.
As we round out another August, I thought I’d share a few of those lessons here. Most have served me well. Some have a downside.
1. Punctuality
As the saying goes, showing up is half the battle. But don’t just show up; be there on time. In football there were serious consequences for being late, but losing the respect of one’s peers eclipsed them all.
2. Hard work
Know that when you are working hard, there are others working just as hard and others who are not. Push yourself to surpass your opponents and inspire your teammates.
3. Stoicism
Keep your head up. Push through disappointment and injuries. This is mostly a good trait, but it can also prevent you from seeking the support you need when you really need it, physically and emotionally. Vulnerability is not a lesson I learned in football.
4. Dependability
It is essential that others who are pulling with you toward accomplishing a goal know that they can always count on you. There is a brotherhood that forms on a football team that demands dependability.
5. Humility
Enjoy success but don’t be boastful. Have gratitude for all those who helped to support your success.
6. Perseverance
Never give up. It is what your adversaries expect. By pushing through missteps and setbacks you learn what it takes to succeed and that your capacity to overcome failure is greater than you anticipated.
7. Resilience
As the legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers Vince Lombardi said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.” To survive playing football, resilience is essential.
Fortunately, these lessons can be learned in many places other than the football field. Any group activity that requires teamwork, sacrifice and shared goals generate important life lessons. Make sure the young people in your life put down their cellphones and other tech gadgets and take up a sport, join a club or get involved in the arts, to name a few possibilities. They’ll grow into better people—and with no head-butting required.
Did you know that every day more than 290 Americans die from suicide or a drug overdose?
With proper treatment, many of these tragedies could be prevented — but despite a law that guarantees coverage, people face enormous roadblocks when they seek care.
In 2008 President George W. Bush signed the landmark Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act (Parity Act).
The Parity Act mandates equal insurance coverage for mental health (MH) and substance use disorders (SUD) as compared to other medical/surgical benefits covered by the plan.
According to its new website parityat10.com, “Parity at 10 seeks to ensure that insurance carriers and state Medicaid programs comply with the law so that consumers can access the evidence-based health care they need and are entitled by law to receive.”
What does equal insurance coverage mean?
It means ending insurer discrimination against access to timely and affordable care including high out-of-pocket costs and shorter lengths of care for MH/SUD.
Parity — which is another word for equity — in this case means that MH/SUD coverage must be provided on par with coverage of medical and surgical care.
Notably, this legislation was the result of a bipartisan effort by Sens. Paul Wellstone, a liberal Democrat, and Pete Domenici, a conservative Republican. What the senators had in common were personal family experiences that motivated their tireless efforts to pass this law.
Parity saves lives. Parity law is a civil rights law that has not been vigorously enforced by the States, which have the primary responsibility for enforcement of private insurance and Medicaid.
One of the most pernicious violations and barriers to care is inadequate networks of MH/SUD providers.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center documented this in its 2018 Project Access Study which surveyed 650 Long Island consumers of MH/SUD care. Nearly 50 percent of respondents said that it was easier for them to access medical/surgical care than MH/SUD Care.
Nationally, patients responding to a National Alliance on Mental Illness survey reported being denied twice as often for mental health care as for medical-surgical care under the Affordable Care Act.
The actuarial firm Milliman reviewed claims data in New York and found that patients had to go out-of-network for MH/SUD care far more often than for medical/surgical care — a very expensive proposition that flies in the face of the Parity Act.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we are a proud partner of the Parity at 10 Compliance Campaign. On August 10 I attended an inaugural Parity at 10 meeting in Albany with my fellow advocates and top officials in the Cuomo administration.
Some of the details in this column were included in the policy brief provided to Gov. Cuomo. The consensus among the advocates was that insurers do everything in their power to skirt parity.
Another staunch supporter of the original legislation was Patrick J. Kennedy, a former member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Kennedy struggled with mental illness and addiction for most of his life.
In his book “A Common Struggle,” Kennedy said the battle ahead is for the law to be enforced in the face of health insurers who stand to profit by denying the full range of coverage for people living with mental illness and addictions.
Kennedy rightly frames the inequities that people with mental illness and addictions face as a matter of civil rights.
Discriminatory insurance coverage for those with mental health and substance use disorders must end. When insurers do not comply with the law and enforcement is inadequate, millions of Americans are at risk.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Meg Dockery-Cremins (center) of the Welcoming Club of Garden City presented a $30,000 donation to Lauren McGowan and Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
Roslyn Heights, NY, August 2, 2018 — North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center held its 5th Annual Ladies’ Night Out event on Thursday evening, July 19th, at the beautiful Neiman Marcus Garden City store. This marked the second year in a row that the Guidance Center partnered with Neiman Marcus in an event that offered exceptional beauty services and raffle opportunities to the women of our local communities and also raised awareness of the programs and services offered by the Guidance Center.
All proceeds from the event will support the Guidance Center’s mission to provide help and healing to children and families dealing with mental health issues and to combat stigma and discrimination. Guests savored delicious small bites from NM Cafe and sipped unique bubbly libations while they were treated to brow shaping and makeovers by Neiman Marcus makeup artists, along with blow-outs and hair styling from Manhasset salon nuBest.
Carol Marcell, a member of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors, brought her mother Joyce Bruno and two of Bruno’s friends. “This was the second time my mom and I attended Ladies’ Night Out, and she didn’t hesitate to accept my invitation once again and to bring along her friends,” says Marcell. “We got our hair blown out by a charming young man from nuBest. And all of us loved looking at the clothes, jewelry and shoes at wonderful Neiman Marcus!”
“Neiman Marcus Garden City is very proud to be a supporter of the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center,” says Doris Wilshere, Vice President, General Manager at Neiman Marcus, Roosevelt Field. “It is our corporate philosophy to support and give back to our local community, particularly with organizations that are centered on children and family. Since our opening in 2016, we have been an ongoing partner with the Guidance Center and will be for the future. We look forward to a growing partnership.”
“The Guidance Center is grateful to the philanthropic team at Neiman Marcus,” says Nancy Lane, Board President. “The events we hold at the store are very special.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For 65years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
On Long Island, black women and their babies are four times more likely to die during childbirth as their white neighbors. Why is this happening and what is being done to help save their lives?
Meg Dockery-Cremins (center) presents a $30,000 check to Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff and Director of Development Lauren McGowan.
On July 18th, the Welcoming Club of Garden City presented North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center with a check for $30,000. The donation was the result of more than a dozen events the club held during the 2017-2018 season, all of which benefited the Guidance Center. Just a sampling: a Halloween fair, Santa Christmas brunch, several movie nights ,and a fashion show.
One of their flagship fundraising events was held on May 15th as the Welcoming Club of Garden City hosted their Spring Soirée at the Garden City Hotel. The event featured fabulous boutique shopping, getting-to-know-you games, a Garden City trivia contest, great raffle prizes, and a delicious buffet.
“It was a fun and fabulous night that allowed the ladies of the Welcoming Club of Garden City to come together with old friends and mix and mingle to meet new ones in a chic and festive atmosphere,” says Meg Dockery- Cremins, president of the Welcoming Club. “The Spring Soirée was the culmination of a year’s worth of family, couples, and ladies events to benefit North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. The wonderful vendors and community sponsors provided fabulous prizes which enabled us to make a generous donation to the Guidance Center, which we view as a critically important organization in the community.”
“We are so grateful to the members of the Welcoming Club of Garden City for making us the beneficiary of their events for this season,” says Lauren McGowan, director of development for the Guidance Center who, as a Garden City resident, also chaired the Philanthropic Committee for the Welcoming Club. “The funds that they raised will go directly to our core mission of helping Long Island children and their families who are in need of mental health or substance use care. We could not do our work without generous donations from community-minded organizations like the Welcoming Club.”
Children, like chickens, need a few minutes to settle down. Above: Ethel, Margaret, Betty and Tori make the lawn furniture their perch. (Photo by Christy Hinko)
It’s a common refrain heard in classrooms and at dinner tables all across the country:
“Why won’t you just sit still?” Sometimes, with kids who seem especially hyperactive, there is an all-too-quick leap to giving the “problem” a psychiatric label and pulling out a prescription pad.
Although I’m a clinical social worker by training, I find that alternative sources of knowledge (what some may refer to as old-fashioned common sense) sometimes fit best. Here’s an example:
I recall a meeting with my colleagues regarding a newly formed after-school program for teenagers.
A shared frustration was getting things started on time. After some conversation, it became clear that the kids eventually settled down, but it always took more time than the
adults deemed necessary.
One of the women, my longtime colleague Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, an alcohol and substance abuse counselor and pastor, asked her colleagues, “Did any of you ever live on a farm?” They all signaled that they hadn’t. She smiled knowingly and responded, “Well, I did. And when you grow up on a farm you notice certain things.”
She went on to explain, “I’ve been watching closely, and in the afterschool program I’ve noticed certain behavior by a number of the youngsters each time they come to the group.
Whether they arrive early or after the group has already begun, they perform a certain ritual before connecting more consciously with what is going on in the group. It goes something like this: They move the chairs several times, place certain objects—coat, sweater, book bag—in a certain position on or near the chair, collect objects from their pockets or begin to crumple paper and place it in the waste basket, and so on. When confronted about their distracting behavior, they often reply, ‘OK, just one minute,’ meaning that they hadn’t quite completed their settling-in process.
“After weeks of observation, I was reminded that I had seen chickens perform similar rituals before laying eggs. I often wondered why they didn’t simply walk in, lay their eggs, and walk out. But instead, they would survey the nest, scratch and peck some more and sit down again. This behavior continued until they felt settled in. When the process was interrupted, I observed, they would start the ritual all over again. Now, I’m not suggesting that some youngsters are like chickens, but there seems to be a similarity in their need to release a certain amount of energy in order to focus on the task before them.”
Nellie’s “down home” observations captured the essence of the young people’s waking moments. The milling process seemed to be a normal resistance brought on by the daily residue of feelings either about home or school, perhaps intended to sidestep the work at hand.
For most kids, milling is a natural and normal process to be respected and left alone, as opposed to a manifestation of a disorder or some form of pathology. The kids eventually settled down and attended to task, as did the chickens.
This tale of the chickens had a soothing effect on Nellie’s colleagues, whose patience increased as a result.
What does this story about restless kids and chickens preparing to lay eggs mean? Sometime a kid is just a kid. That’s not to say that, for some, careful examination, diagnosis and specialized care are necessary and should be sought.
But for the others? Well, sometime they’re just being chickens. I mean kids.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Meg Dockery-Cremins, center, presents a $30,000 check to Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff and Director of Development Lauren McGowan. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
The Welcoming Club of Garden City presented North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center with a check for $30,000 on July 18.
The donation was the result of more than a dozen events the club held during the 2017-2018 season, all of which benefitted the Guidance Center. Just a sampling: a Halloween fair, Santa Christmas brunch, several movie nights and a fashion show.
One of their flagship fundraising events was held on May 15 as the Welcoming Club of Garden City hosted their Spring Soirée at the Garden City Hotel. The event featured fabulous boutique shopping, getting-to-know-you games, a Garden City trivia contest, great raffle prizes and a delicious buffet.
“It was a fun and fabulous night that allowed the ladies of the Welcoming Club of Garden City to come together with old friends and mix and mingle to meet new ones in a chic and festive atmosphere,” said Meg Dockery-Cremins, President of the Welcoming Club. “The Spring Soirée was the culmination of a year’s worth of family, couples and ladies events to benefit North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. The wonderful vendors and community sponsors provided fabulous prizes which enabled us to make a generous donation to the Guidance Center, which we view as a critically important organization in the community.”
“We are so grateful to the members of the Welcoming Club of Garden City for making us the beneficiary of their events for this season,” said Lauren McGowan, Director of Development for the Guidance Center who, as a Garden City resident, also chaired the Philanthropic Committee for the Welcoming Club. “The funds that they raised will go directly to our core mission of helping Long Island children and their families who are in need of mental health or substance use care. We could not do our work without generous donations from community-minded organizations like the Welcoming Club.”
NEIMAN MARCUS PARTNERS WITH LOCAL CHARITY FOR LADIES’ NIGHT OUT
Roslyn Heights, NY, August 2, 2018 — North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center held its 5th Annual Ladies’ Night Out event on Thursday evening, July 19th, at the beautiful Neiman Marcus Garden City store. This marked the second year in a row that the Guidance Center partnered with Neiman Marcus in an event that offered exceptional beauty services and raffle opportunities to the women of our local communities and also raised awareness of the programs and services offered by the Guidance Center.
All proceeds from the event will support the Guidance Center’s mission to provide help and healing to children and families dealing with mental health issues and to combat stigma and discrimination. Guests savored delicious small bites from NM Cafe and sipped unique bubbly libations while they were treated to brow shaping and makeovers by Neiman Marcus makeup artists, along with blow-outs and hair styling from Manhasset salon nuBest.
Guidance Center Board President Nancy Lane shares a laugh as she receives her makeover.
Carol Marcell, a member of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors, brought her mother Joyce Bruno and two of Bruno’s friends. “This was the second time my mom and I attended Ladies’ Night Out, and she didn’t hesitate to accept my invitation once again and to bring along her friends,” says Marcell. “We got our hair blown out by a charming young man from nuBest. And all of us loved looking at the clothes, jewelry and shoes at wonderful Neiman Marcus!”
“Neiman Marcus Garden City is very proud to be a supporter of the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center,” says Doris Wilshere, Vice President, General Manager at Neiman Marcus, Roosevelt Field. “It is our corporate philosophy to support and give back to our local community, particularly with organizations that are centered on children and family. Since our opening in 2016, we have been an ongoing partner with the Guidance Center and will be for the future. We look forward to a growing partnership.”
“The Guidance Center is grateful to the philanthropic team at Neiman Marcus,” says Nancy Lane, Board President. “The events we hold at the store are very special.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For 65years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
When faced with an ailing mother and husband, Karen Schief became a caregiver.
“At that point, I didn’t even know there was a name for what it was we did,” the Syosset resident says of caregiving.
Years later, Caring for the Caregiver, for which Schief serves as cochairman, began as a ministry at her church and now runs caregiving caring circles, as well as keeping a comprehensive database of support systems available to caregivers.
Caring for loved ones is a growing issue. According to The National Alliance For Caregiving and AARP, approximately 34.2 million people have provided unpaid care to an adult 50 years or older in the year 2015, the last year for which statistics are available. Further, the 2010 U.S. Census Bureau reports that one in every 26 families in the U.S. is raising a child with a disability.
Care for the Caregiver
Caregiving offers an opportunity to express love and compassion, but there are concomitant negative aspects. Most feel isolated and forget what life was like before being a caregiver, says Tara Anglim, director of Patient & Family Center Care at Peconic Bay Medical Center, a hospital-based caregiver support center on Long Island. Support group members, adds Anglim, validate each other’s emotional experience of caregiving through laughter, united feelings of frustration and sadness.
At Caring for the Caregiver, caring circles are non-disease specific. “We found that there were many people who were facing multiple issues,” says Schief. The caregivers themselves run the caring circles, explains Schief, “because if you have never been a caregiver you don’t understand what these people are going through.”
Caring for Children & Families
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center offers an Intensive Support Program (ISP) of therapy and a nurturing alternative for children ages 5 to 21 and their families from all Nassau county school districts.
Part of the work of ISP, says Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, involves providing psychoeducation for the child and parents to develop the coping skills necessary to improve their overall functioning at school, in the community and at home.
Parent to Parent, based in Hauppauge, provides information, guidance and support to families of children with developmental disabilities. Parent to parent matching, a popular program, connects parents in need of advice to other parents who’ve been through similar experiences.
Alzheimer’s Disease
In New York State, there are now one million Alzheimer’s and dementia unpaid caregivers. These figures are poised to rise as the number of people diagnosed with the disease is expected to triple by 2050.
In many cases, people care for loved ones at home for as long as they can and need their own support services, says Charles J. Fuschillo, Jr., president and CEO of the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America.
“Respite can be an invaluable resource to help family caregivers maintain their own sense of well-being,” he says, adding that respite can take the form of adult day programs and in-home aid.
Education is also key. Classes like Peconic Bay Medical Center’s “Dementia: Effective Communication and Behavioral Strategies” and “Long Term Care 101” are vital for proper care.
No matter who they care for and what conditions they’re contending with, help for the caregiver is available.
“We’re trying to make their journey easier,” says Schief.
In the immediate aftermath of the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain Gov. Cuomo issued a press release about new funding to address the rising rate of suicide.
He stated: “Two high-profile suicides this week put mental illness front and center, but while those names were the ones in the press, every day there are thousands of New Yorkers who struggle with suicidal thoughts, and we must do everything we can to support them. Depression does not discriminate. It affects every part of society and people from all walks of life.”
I applaud the Governor for bringing this matter to light. He stated, “Depression does not discriminate.” Nevertheless, health insurers that do not comply with federal parity law, denying timely access to care, do discriminate. When New York State government does not enforce this law, they aid and abet discrimination against the “thousands of New Yorkers,” who the Governor referred to as those “who struggle with suicidal thoughts”.
The difficulty people have accessing mental health and addiction care is not simply a matter of stigma. It is a matter of discrimination. This is a civil rights issue that an announcement of new funding alone will not solve.
On December 15, 2017, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center held a press conference at its headquarters in Roslyn Heights and issued the results of a research study – Project Access that we conducted in collaboration with LIU Post Department of Social Work.
In this year-long study, hundreds of Long Islanders were surveyed about their experiences attempting to obtain help for mental health and addiction problems.
Of the 650 Long Islanders who took part in the survey, almost half said that it was more difficult finding help for mental health or substance abuse problems than finding help for physical illnesses, nearly 40 percent said that their insurance company did not have an adequate number of providers and two-thirds said that their insurance company was not helpful to them in finding a suitable provider for themselves or a loved one.
NY State Senator Todd Kaminsky, who attended the December 15th press conference, stated that the findings were “Damning.”
In a bipartisan effort, Kaminsky and Senator Elaine Phillips wrote to the Department of Financial Services (DFS) on January 9, 2018 citing the Project Access study and requesting “a thorough investigation to determine why insurance companies are not being held accountable for network adequacy.” Network adequacy is the part of the federal parity law that states that health insurers who cover mental health and addiction care must have an adequate number of providers in their network. Many more people wrote directly to Gov. Cuomo, requesting the same.
Almost five months later Scott Fischer, Executive Deputy Superintendent for Insurance, a division of DFS, responded in writing to the Senators. Fischer wrote: “DFS’s review of the various networks has confirmed that each of the insurance companies in Long Island exceeds the standards for mental health and substance use providers, for the purpose of the commercial products sold outside of NYSOH.”
Translation: There is no problem. There is nothing more to do. This does not square with the results of Project Access.
Health insurers and government ignoring federal parity law is discrimination. When it comes to suicide prevention: access delayed, is access denied.
Discriminationdeserves a place alongside stigmawhen the conversation turns to access to care.
It’s a matter of civil rights.
Long after the tragic deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain fade from the front pages, the lack of compliance and enforcement of federal parity law will persist and the thousands of people that the Governor spoke of in hispress release will still be unable to access care.
oslyn Heights, NY, July 23, 2018 – On July 18, 2018, the Welcoming Club of Garden City presented North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center with a check for $30,000. The donation was the result of more than a dozen events the club held during the 2017-2018 season, all of which benefitted the Guidance Center. Just a sampling: a Halloween fair, Santa Christmas brunch, several movie nights and a fashion show.
One of their flagship fundraising events was held on May 15 as the Welcoming Club of Garden City hosted their Spring Soirée at the Garden City Hotel. The event featured fabulous boutique shopping, getting-to-know-you games, a Garden City trivia contest, great raffle prizes and a delicious buffet.
“It was a fun and fabulous night that allowed the ladies of the Welcoming Club of Garden City to come together with old friends and mix and mingle to meet new ones in a chic and festive atmosphere,” says Meg Dockery-Cremins, President of the Welcoming Club. “The Spring Soirée was the culmination of a year’s worth of family, couples and ladies events to benefit North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. The wonderful vendors and community sponsors provided fabulous prizes which enabled us to make a generous donation to the Guidance Center, which we view as a critically important organization in the community.”
“We are so grateful to the members of the Welcoming Club of Garden City for making us the beneficiary of their events for this season,” says Lauren McGowan, Director of Development for the Guidance Center who, as a Garden City resident, also chaired the Philanthropic Committee for the Welcoming Club. “The funds that they raised will go directly to our core mission of helping Long Island children and their families who are in need of mental health or substance use care. We could not do our work without generous donations from community-minded organizations like the Welcoming Club.”
Meg Dockery-Cremins (center) presents a $30,000 check to Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff and Director of Development Lauren McGowan.
From left, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff, event co-chairs Mike Mondiello and Troy Slade, honoree Ed Haug and event founder Jeff Krevat. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, once again hosted a joyful event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner at our 22nd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf and Tennis Classic on June 18 at The Creek in Locust Valley.
The event raised more than $230,000 to support the guidance center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year’s honoree was Ed Haug, Managing Partner of Haug Partners LLP, a pioneer East Coast law firm and provider of synthesized, multidisciplinary legal services for life science and technology businesses.
“Everyone had a great time on this magnificent golf course and on the tennis courts, and the elegant steak and lobster dinner was exquisite” said Haug. “But the most important thing is that we came together so that children and their families will continue to receive the life-saving services of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Guidance Center.”
The co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade.
In addition, Dan Donnelly, last year’s honoree, served as the auctioneer at this year’s event.
“It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime support of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
“We’re so grateful to all of the people who worked so hard to make this year’s event a huge success,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the guidance center. “Their dedication to our work enables us to provide the services to all those who need them, despite their ability to pay.”
The daring cave rescue in Thailand was breathtaking. For a few moments, the world stood still.
Skilled divers, medical personnel and others united and prevailed to save the lives of 12 children and their soccer coach.
It was a time when thoughts and prayers were a welcome sentiment, as opposed to the cliché often uttered by politicians in the aftermath of a school shooting.
Meanwhile, one of the more disturbing and divisive stories in recent memory — the forcible separation of thousands of migrant children from their parents after crossing the southern border into the United States — remains.
What makes the migrant children story disturbing is obvious.
Although some people may be put off by the term “kids in cages,” the reality is that many of them are confined to chain-link pens that they are not permitted to leave.
Not so obvious are the nuances contained in the widely divergent and often politically motivated opinions about what brought them here in the first place.
Many believe the migrants were seeking asylum from violent gangs and terror.
Others say they were escaping poverty and looking for a free ticket into the U.S.
Still others insist that the bulk of the children were brought here not by parents but by human traffickers posing as parents and that they haven’t been separated but put into protective custody.
Whatever the reason they undertook the arduous and dangerous journey, the result is the same: Who is welcome here and who is not have become political flashpoints in post-truth America.
The juxtaposition of migrant children trapped in cages and children trapped in caves symbolizes a troubling paradox: Some children count and some don’t.
Thailand is a well-known destination for forced labor and sex trafficking of children.
Yet we are not riveted to the plight of these children, whose daily peril is not as well-exposed as the kids in caves.
The kids in caves made for great reality TV. It evoked Survivor, the reality show where contestants are stranded in an isolated location and a lone survivor takes home a cash prize. Cave Rescue was more compelling must-see TV, with life and death at stake.
When the kids in the cave were losing oxygen, tanks of air were delivered to them.
One man, a Thai Navy SEAL Saman Gunan, gave his life for the boys to breathe easier. These kids also had each other and a surrogate parent for emotional support.
There were volunteers from around the world pitching in and well-wishers everywhere.
But what of the kids in cages who are experiencing inconsolable grief and a prolonged stress response that is likely to derail their healthy development for many years to come? Who is there to rescue them?
What they are missing cannot be found in a metal canister. What they long for is human touch and a sense of hope.
The daring rescue in Thailand was a blessing for its exhilarating outcome and for what it made us feel about ourselves, if only for a moment. We all cared together.
If only there was some way to sustain that feeling and goodwill toward all of God’s children.
How many hours a week do your kids watch television? According to The Nielsen Company, kids ages 2-5 spend more than 32 hours a week in front of the TV screen, while 6- to 11- year-olds spend about 28 hours a week.
And those statistics don’t factor in time spent on computers or smart phones or other media platforms.
What all those hours add up to is lots and lots of ads. Children are bombarded with advertisements for everything from the latest tech gadget to the newest twist on Classic Coke. Few if any of those ads are about getting outside to exercise or spending time reading.
According to Maanasi, a blogger on momjunction.com, there are a number of potentially harmful effects of advertising on children. They include:
• Advertisements encourage children to ask their parents to buy the products they see in commercials, regardless of whether they need them or not.
• Children are likely to focus on the negatives rather than the positive side of the messages.
• Flashy ads on TV, the Internet, magazines, etc. create a tendency for impulse shopping.
• Many advertisements involve dangerous stunts, which children imitate as they do not understand the warnings that come with the ads.
• With so many attractive commercials marketing junk foods and sugary beverages, these ads encourage unhealthy eating, which in turn has led to an increase in obesity, diabetes, heart problems and other conditions in young children.
• Child advertising may impact self-esteem, making kids feel inferior to their peers if they do not have the latest products seen in commercials.
• Sexually suggestive ads make children objectify women and allow them to think that looking or acting a certain way is the only way to make friends or be popular.
Although parents and other who care about kids can always organize and protest against deleterious commercials, I think that the advertising of everyday life might be even more effective.
The advertising of everyday life is comprised of those homespun messages that parents, grandparents and other caregivers pass along to their children. Almost everyone can think of one or two from our growing up years. I believe that parents and other caring adults can be just as clever as Madison Avenue.
My mom, an antiques dealer known in the business as Antique Evelyn, was a businesswoman and collector of old advertising signs and tins. When I was about 12, Antique Evelyn brought home an old sign that read: “None of us in our business or social life can coast along on a reputation of past performances. It’s the good job we do today that counts.”
She framed the sign and placed it in a strategic place in the bathroom—just behind the toilet. This way my younger brother and I (and our dad) would come eye-to-eye with the sign several times a day, every day, year in and year out. According to my own calculations I read her “advertisement” at least 5,000 times during my teenage years.
Coaches have motivational slogans, preachers have spiritual sermons, teachers have instructional lessons and my mom had not-so-subliminal signs. These are the advertisements of everyday life. Some people might refer to this as imparting values.
Oh, and about mom’s sign; it hangs in my office, right next to my desk where I see it every day.
From left, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff, event co-chairs Mike Mondiello and Troy Slade, honoree Ed Haug and event founder Jeff Krevat. (Photo courtesy of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center)
North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, once again hosted a joyful event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner at our 22nd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf and Tennis Classic on June 18 at The Creek in Locust Valley.
The event raised more than $230,000 to support the guidance center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year’s honoree was Ed Haug, Managing Partner of Haug Partners LLP, a pioneer East Coast law firm and provider of synthesized, multidisciplinary legal services for life science and technology businesses.
“Everyone had a great time on this magnificent golf course and on the tennis courts, and the elegant steak and lobster dinner was exquisite” said Haug. “But the most important thing is that we came together so that children and their families will continue to receive the life-saving services of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Guidance Center.”
The co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade.
In addition, Dan Donnelly, last year’s honoree, served as the auctioneer at this year’s event.
“It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime support of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
“We’re so grateful to all of the people who worked so hard to make this year’s event a huge success,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the guidance center. “Their dedication to our work enables us to provide the services to all those who need them, despite their ability to pay.”
