by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | May 7, 2021 | Blog
Temper tantrums, “talking back” and other forms of acting out are a normal part of a child’s development. When a youngster is feeling, tired, stressed, upset or out of sorts for any reason, these behaviors aren’t uncommon. Ask any parent!
But when a child’s words and actions cause serious problems at home, school or with peers, they may be diagnosed with a condition known as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or ODD, a condition that takes a huge toll on family relationships.
“It’s not unusual for children to express their frustrations by losing their tempers or testing your limits by disobeying rules,” says Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “But when it becomes a pattern of being uncooperative and hostile toward you, their siblings and peers, and other authority figures in such a way that it impacts their daily functioning, it may require professional intervention.”
A diagnosis of ODD is made when behaviors are extreme and go on for at least six months.
According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology, symptoms of Oppositional Defiant Disorder may include:
- Frequent temper tantrums
- Excessive arguing with adults
- Often questioning rules
- Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
- Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
- Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
- Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
- Frequent anger and resentment
- Mean and hateful talking when upset
- Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking
Signs of ODD typical arise during preschool year, though it can develop later (though usually before early adolescence). Experts aren’t sure what causes ODD, but say that biological, psychological and social issues may play a role. While extreme forms of parenting—too lax or too harsh— may contribute to ODD, that isn’t always the case.
“Parents may feel guilty when their child has ODD, but there are so many unknowns,” says Cohen. “Often one child in the same family has ODD, while other siblings may not. What’s important is getting help, especially since other issues such as attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), learning disabilities, bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety disorders may be present.”
Treatment for ODD can include a variety of therapeutic methods, such as teaching the child anger management and communication techniques, impulse control and problem-solving skills. Including the family in the treatment plan is important, as parents need to develop skills to manage their child’s behavior.
Also, medications may be appropriate, which can be determined in a review with a psychiatrist or other psychiatric professional.
To learn if your child may have ODD, or to get help with other issues that are negatively impacting the life of your child, teen or family, contact the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971.
How Parents Can Help Children With ODD:
Some helpful tips from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychology:
- Always build on the positives, give the child praise and positive reinforcement when s/he shows flexibility or cooperation.
- Take a time-out or break if you are about to make the conflict with your child worse, not better. This is good modeling for your child. Support your child if s/he decides to take a time-out to prevent overreacting.
- Pick your battles. Since the child with ODD has trouble avoiding power struggles, prioritize the things you want your child to do. If you give your child a time-out in his room for misbehavior, don’t add time for arguing. Say “your time will start when you go to your room.”
- Set reasonable, age-appropriate limits with consequences that can be enforced consistently.
- Maintain interests other than your child with ODD, so that managing your child doesn’t take all your time and energy. Try to work with and obtain support from the other adults (teachers, coaches, and spouse) dealing with your child.
- Manage your own stress with healthy life choices such as exercise and relaxation. Use respite care and other breaks as needed.
Sources:
www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-With-Oppositional-Defiant-Disorder-072.aspx
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Feb 1, 2021 | Blog
The pandemic is impacting the daily lives of our children in numerous ways, with anxiety related to remote learning difficulties, loss of social activities and fear of illness and death creating a mental health crisis. But COVID is also having a big effect on...
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Jan 19, 2021 | Ask The Guidance Center Experts, Blog
In this new monthly column in Blank Slate Media’s The Island Now newspapers, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email NSCFGCexperts@gmail.com.
Question: We’ve recently been concerned that our teen daughter seems to be feeling more blue than usual. Her grades have been going down, and she wants to sleep all the time. When we ask her how she’s doing, she gets very emotional. Should we be worried?
—Panicked Parents
Dear Panicked Parents: The pandemic has created an enormous amount of stress, anxiety and sadness for all of us, including our kids. We’ve been dealing with this strange, new reality for eight months now, and there’s no clear answer as to when we will turn the corner and be back to our routines.
The fact that your daughter is feeling stressed and sad isn’t surprising; in fact, studies indicate that these feelings are on the rise all over the country. Changes in sleep and eating patterns are common, as are struggles with the unusual school schedule. Kids are also worried that their loved ones may become ill.
It’s crucial that you always keep the lines of communication open. As parents, we tend to jump in to try to “fix” what’s wrong, instead of realizing that sometimes, your child just needs you to listen and be empathetic, acknowledging their feelings and assuring them you are there for them.
There are some things you can do to help your daughter, and yourselves, during this challenging time. Basics like eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, spending time outside in the fresh air and setting up a regular school and sleep routine can make a big difference.
Of course, it’s important to look out for signs that your daughter’s issues might be more significant and require therapeutic intervention. Some warning signs: a continued drop in grades or refusal to go to school; withdrawing from friends and family; significant changes in weight, either losing or gaining; the inability to feel joy; increased anger; physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches; use of drugs or alcohol; and expressing thoughts of suicide or preoccupation with death.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is seeing children and teens via remote therapy during this time, or in person when the situation calls for it. Our Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project offers a host of services to help children and teens experiencing suicidal thoughts. Don’t hesitate to call us at (516) 626-1971 for an evaluation.
by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center | Dec 1, 2020 | Ask The Guidance Center Experts, Blog
In this new monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be answering your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email NSCFGCexperts@gmail.com.
Question: We’ve recently been concerned that our teen daughter seems to be feeling more blue than usual. Her grades have been going down, and she wants to sleep all the time. When we ask her how she’s doing, she gets very emotional. Should we be worried?
—Panicked Parents
Dear Panicked Parents: The pandemic has created an enormous amount of anxiety and sadness for all of us, including our kids. We’ve been dealing with this strange, new reality for eight months now, and there’s no clear answer as to when we will turn the corner and be back to our routines.
The fact that your daughter is feeling stressed and sad isn’t surprising; in fact, studies indicate that these feelings are on the rise all over the country. Changes in sleep and eating patterns are common, as are struggles with the unusual school schedule. Kids are also worried that their loved ones may become ill.
It’s crucial that you always keep the lines of communication open. As parents, we tend to jump in to try to “fix” what’s wrong, instead of realizing that sometimes, your child just needs you to listen and be empathetic, acknowledging their feelings and assuring them you are there for them.
There are some things you can do to help your daughter, and yourselves, during this challenging time. Basics like eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, spending time outside in the fresh air and setting up a regular school and sleep routine can make a big difference.
Of course, it’s important to look out for signs that your daughter’s issues might be more significant and require therapeutic intervention. Some warning signs: a continued drop in grades or refusal to go to school; withdrawing from friends and family; significant changes in weight, either losing or gaining; the inability to feel joy; increased anger; physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches; use of drugs or alcohol; and expressing thoughts of suicide or preoccupation with death.
At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we are seeing children and teens via remote therapy during this time, or in person when the situation calls for it. Don’t hesitate to call us at (516) 626-1971 for an evaluation.
Question: My eight-year-old son is in school two days a week and home the other three doing remote learning. While he’s been on this schedule for over two months now, he still struggles at times. What can I do to help?
—Port Washington Mom
Dear PW Mom: It’s common for kids of any age to have difficulty remaining focused on their remote schoolwork, since being at home offers up all sorts of temptations and distractions.
While it can be hard for parents to manage their children’s classwork alongside their own work and other responsibilities, familiarize yourself with your son’s school schedule to ensure he attends online classes and doesn’t miss assignments.
Another way to set him up for success is to create a small, quiet area where he can attend classes and do his homework. You can make it more appealing by personalizing the space with poster boards decorated with name tags, stickers and maybe some favorite photos.
Here are a few more pointers for all parents:
- Encourage movement – build in time for exercise and movement before and during your child’s school activities.
- Reduce distractions including noise and visual clutter.
- Enlist your child in setting up a designated workspace that is comfortable.
- Give your child, and yourself, breaks during the day.
- Particularly for young children, give immediate positive feedback like a sticker or check mark on completed work to help with their motivation.
- Establish good and healthy routines in the home.
