The pandemic is impacting the daily lives of our children in numerous ways, with anxiety related to remote learning difficulties, loss of social activities and fear of illness and death creating a mental health crisis. But COVID is also having a big effect on their nightly lives.

Gillian Pipia, who works with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s younger clients at our Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center, has seen a significant increase in children’s intrusive thoughts related to COVID-19, particularly when it comes to their bedtime routines and sleeping patterns.

“Bedtime is usually a period when the usual distractions and tasks of life such as school, homework, dinner and bath time are completed, and children are left in bed, in the dark, alone with their thoughts,” says Pipia, LCSW. “The virus has created a situation of heightened anxiety that has resulted in behaviors such as bedtime avoidance, clinging to parents during their bedtime routine, refusal to get off electronics or more frequent nightmares.”

It’s not uncommon for children to internalize and hold in their fears as a way of coping, she adds, which is why their pandemic worries are likely to manifest in nightmares.

While some older kids can articulate their feelings by discussing them in therapy, younger children need more creative ways to express their feelings; therefore, during therapy sessions, Pipia encourages them to draw, write or play with toys as a way to express and process their fears.

“Many of the children draw scary monsters, and some have had reoccurring dreams where they are drowning, which reflects the fact that the virus is invisible,” she says. “They feel they have no control over it.”

When it comes to reducing nightmares, Pipia encourages her young clients to think of items or people that help them feel safe, such as a hug from a parent, favorite stuffed animal, special blanket or night lights. She also teaches them a practice called “Grounding in the Five Senses,” which involves thinking about five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one thing you can taste.

“It helps them to let go of the worry and focus on something more concrete,” says Pipia. “Parents can teach this to their children and use it anytime they are having trouble sleeping, or for other anxious moments.”

Parents can incorporate many other strategies to help children with COVID-related nightmares:

• Stick to their normal, calming bedtime routine, perhaps reading an extra book that focuses on a happy, comforting topic.
• Validate their worry and other feelings so they feel seen and heard.
• Don’t tell them they have nothing to worry about or are being silly.
• Model reassurance and safety either verbally (“I’m here, I will protect you”) or physically with a hug.
• Encourage them to imagine happy endings for their dreams before bedtime.
• During the daytime, give them the choice about whether to draw, talk or in some other way convey their feelings, which will help them feel some sense of empowerment in the face of uncertainty and fear.
• Limit their exposure to COVID-related news—but do respond to any of their questions in an age-appropriate way.

During the pandemic, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is seeing clients remotely via telehealth platforms or, when deemed necessary, in person. To make an appointment, call us at (516) 626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org. Remember, we never turn anyone away for inability to pay.

Note: The following column will run this week in the Roslyn News and other Anton Media newspapers.

Despite the economic woes brought on by the pandemic, one type of store is popping up in increasing numbers in neighborhoods all across Long Island: smoke shops, which carry everything from cigarettes and e-cigarettes to pipes and bongs. 

These stores are taking advantage of the growth in popularity of vaping, which involves inhaling and exhaling an aerosol (or vapor) produced by an e-cigarette, vape pen or other smoking device, some of which resemble flash drives or other everyday objects. You may have heard vaping referred to as JUULing, since the brand JUUL has become so ubiquitous. 

Many e-cigs are clearly designed to appeal to young people, with flavors such as strawberry, gummi bear and cotton candy. In 2020, 83% of youth e-cigarette consumers used flavored e-cigarettes. (New York is seeking a ban on the sale of these flavored products, but an appellate court placed a hold on the ban this September.)

Today, there are approximately 3.6 million middle and high schoolers who are regular users of e-cigarettes, and the numbers have been growing. Studies show that from 2017 to 2019, the percentage of teens who said they vaped in the past 12 months doubled: from 7.5% to 16.5% among eighth graders; from 15.8% to 30.7% among 10th graders; and from 18.8% to 35.3% among 12th graders.

Alarming Health Impacts

Although many tweens and teens are sold on the idea that vaping is far less dangerous than smoking regular cigarettes, the research strongly suggests otherwise. 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the vast majority of e-cigarettes contain nicotine, which is highly addictive and can harm adolescent and young adult brain development. In addition, a variety of toxic chemical additives are often in the mix, including ultrafine particles that can be inhaled deeply into the lungs; diacetyl, also damaging to the lungs; and heavy metals such as nickel, tin and lead. 

So what is a parent to do? First, let your kids know that e-cigarettes are not safe alternatives to cigarettes. The studies increasingly show that they can cause:

• Damage to the brain, heart and lungs
• Cancerous tumor development
• Preterm deliveries and stillbirths in pregnant women
• Harmful effects on brain and lung development when use occurs during fetal development or adolescence

When you approach the conversation, instead of lecturing, ask an open-ended question, such as “Have you heard about vaping?” and “Is it popular at school?” Offer honest, science-based information, geared toward your child’s or teen’s age—and start these conversations when your kids are young. 

Make your reasons for not wanting your child to vape clear. Many of them have no idea that e-cigarettes have nicotine and are highly addictive, since marketers have told them it’s safe and “cool” to vape. You may want to rehearse a situation where they might be asked to try vaping, letting them practice saying, “No thanks, I don’t smoke” in a direct, clear fashion.

If your tween or teen has already started vaping, don’t punish or shame them. Explore online programs like “Truth Initiative,” which offers a free smoking cessation program called “This is Quitting,” or call the American Lung Association at 800-LUNGUSA for more resources. 

Finally, be a positive role model and don’t smoke. Your behavior matters far more than you might imagine.

Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust is the Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Leeds Place, which operates an Adolescent Outpatient Chemical Dependency Treatment Program. If your child or teen is having problems with vaping, drugs or alcohol, call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971 for help.