Dear North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Community,

Dear North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center Community,

Olivia’s first visit to the E.R. for self-harm and suicidal thoughts came last fall, when she was just 14 years old. But instead of admitting her, the hospital referred her to North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.  

We saw her the very next day — an unheard of rapid response at most mental health centers, which often take weeks or even months to schedule appointments. 

Olivia thrived in our Latina Girls Project, an innovative bilingual and bicultural therapeutic program that addresses the unique challenges affecting Latinas and transforms these vulnerable girls into happy, healthy young women. 

Then COVID-19 hit. Olivia’s mother contracted the virus, and the teen watched helplessly as her mother battled the disease for two months. 

When Olivia missed her virtual appointments, her therapist Anna asked Olivia to attend an in-person appointment. Anna realized immediately that the girl had lost weight and desperately needed help. Anna began seeing Olivia and her family for therapy three times a week remotely and connected them with an eating disorder specialist. At the Guidance Center, we treat the whole child, not just their symptoms. 

Thankfully, Olivia’s mother is now well, and so is Olivia. She told Anna, “I can’t believe I ever thought I wanted to kill myself. I feel so much better!” 

This story could have had a very different ending, but thanks to you, we are able to bring children from hurting to healing every day — which is especially important as the pandemic continues to threaten the mental health of our kids. Please consider making a gift this holiday season to ensure that children like Olivia can live happy and healthy lives.  With gratitude,
Paul Vitale,
President 

P.S. The future of our children is in your hands. Please support our lifesaving mission today.
Ask the Guidance Center Experts, Blank Slate Media, December 1, 2020

Ask the Guidance Center Experts, Blank Slate Media, December 1, 2020

In this new monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be answering your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email NSCFGCexperts@gmail.com.

Question: We’ve recently been concerned that our teen daughter seems to be feeling more blue than usual. Her grades have been going down, and she wants to sleep all the time. When we ask her how she’s doing, she gets very emotional. Should we be worried?

—Panicked Parents

Dear Panicked Parents: The pandemic has created an enormous amount of anxiety and sadness for all of us, including our kids. We’ve been dealing with this strange, new reality for eight months now, and there’s no clear answer as to when we will turn the corner and be back to our routines.

The fact that your daughter is feeling stressed and sad isn’t surprising; in fact, studies indicate that these feelings are on the rise all over the country. Changes in sleep and eating patterns are common, as are struggles with the unusual school schedule. Kids are also worried that their loved ones may become ill.

It’s crucial that you always keep the lines of communication open. As parents, we tend to jump in to try to “fix” what’s wrong, instead of realizing that sometimes, your child just needs you to listen and be empathetic, acknowledging their feelings and assuring them you are there for them.

There are some things you can do to help your daughter, and yourselves, during this challenging time. Basics like eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, spending time outside in the fresh air and setting up a regular school and sleep routine can make a big difference.

Of course, it’s important to look out for signs that your daughter’s issues might be more significant and require therapeutic intervention. Some warning signs: a continued drop in grades or refusal to go to school; withdrawing from friends and family; significant changes in weight, either losing or gaining; the inability to feel joy; increased anger; physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches; use of drugs or alcohol; and expressing thoughts of suicide or preoccupation with death.

At North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, we are seeing children and teens via remote therapy during this time, or in person when the situation calls for it. Don’t hesitate to call us at (516) 626-1971 for an evaluation.

Question: My eight-year-old son is in school two days a week and home the other three doing remote learning. While he’s been on this schedule for over two months now, he still struggles at times. What can I do to help?

—Port Washington Mom

Dear PW Mom: It’s common for kids of any age to have difficulty remaining focused on their remote schoolwork, since being at home offers up all sorts of temptations and distractions.

While it can be hard for parents to manage their children’s classwork alongside their own work and other responsibilities, familiarize yourself with your son’s school schedule to ensure he attends online classes and doesn’t miss assignments.

Another way to set him up for success is to create a small, quiet area where he can attend classes and do his homework. You can make it more appealing by personalizing the space with poster boards decorated with name tags, stickers and maybe some favorite photos.

Here are a few more pointers for all parents:

  • Encourage movement – build in time for exercise and movement before and during your child’s school activities.
  • Reduce distractions including noise and visual clutter.
  • Enlist your child in setting up a designated workspace that is comfortable.
  • Give your child, and yourself, breaks during the day.
  • Particularly for young children, give immediate positive feedback like a sticker or check mark on completed work to help with their motivation.
  • Establish good and healthy routines in the home.
Drinking, Drugs and Driving: A Dangerous Mix for Teens

Drinking, Drugs and Driving: A Dangerous Mix for Teens

The period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day is described by the National Association of Drug Court Professionals as “one of the deadliest and most dangerous times on America’s roadways due to an increase in impaired driving,” which is why December has been designated National Drunk & Drugged Driving Prevention Month.

This year, with the pandemic still raging, chances are you won’t be heading out to holiday gatherings as much as in the past, but it’s still as important as ever to stay sober if you’re driving.

It’s also crucial that you have a serious conversation with your teen drivers. 

The statistics are frightening: More teens die from motor vehicle crashes than any other cause of death, and teen drivers are 17 times more likely to be involved in a fatal car crash when they have alcohol in their system as opposed to when they are sober.

The same holds true for marijuana and other drugs. A report from Liberty Mutual and SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions) found that one in five teens admit driving under the influence of marijuana, and one in four say they would take a ride from a driver impaired by alcohol or prescription drugs. 

Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Leeds Place, where we operate our Adolescent Outpatient Chemical Dependency Treatment Center, says that while many adults make foolish decisions about driving when they’ve been drinking or using drugs, teenagers are even more susceptible to feeling like they’re safe to drive even when intoxicated.

“Teenagers brains are still developing, and they tend to behave more impulsively, especially when they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol,” she explains. “Plus, when they do consume alcohol, teens are more likely to binge drink than adults. It’s a very dangerous situation.”

While the good news is that drinking and driving among teens has gone down by more than half since 1991, high school teens still drive after drinking about 2.4 million times a month. 

As a parent, you play a crucial role in your teen’s choices, even though sometimes it might not feel that way. Some ways you can encourage safe driving include:

  • Create a driving contract with your teen that spells out the most important rule: zero tolerance for drinking any alcohol or taking drugs when driving.
  • Let them know they should never get in the car with anyone who has been drinking or is using drugs.
  • Offer to provide them with a ride if they ever end up in that circumstance.
  • Institute a no texting while driving rule—ever.
  • Mandate seat belt wearing, even for the shortest trips and in the back seat.
  • Limit nighttime driving, especially for new drivers.
  • Model safe behavior by following the rules of the road yourself and never drinking and driving.

If you think your teen is experimenting with drugs or alcohol and needs help, we’re here for you. Call us at (516) 626-1971.

For more information:
Get your copy of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s parent-teen driving agreement and learn more about safe teen driving at www.cdc.gov/ParentsAreTheKey

Sources:

https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/812450

http://www.sadd.org/

https://www.safekids.org/press-release/number-one-killer-teens-motor-vehicle-crashes

https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/teendrinkinganddriving/index.html

Celebrating During the Pandemic

Celebrating During the Pandemic

Thanksgiving is just days away, which means Christmas, Hannukah and other celebrations are not far behind! 

The calendar at this time of year is typically loaded with gatherings of friends and family, where we get a chance to express our gratitude to those we love and have fun.  But with the pandemic still raging, holiday plans are anything but typical.

While things will be different this year, that doesn’t mean they can’t still be joyful. Here are some ways to help your kids cope with the changes that revised planning may bring.

First, make sure you allow your children and teens to express their disappointment, anger and sadness. It’s hard enough for adults to deal with missing our normal get-togethers, but for kids, it feels even bigger. Not being able to see grandparents, cousins and other family members is sad; let them know you feel the same way, but that you have high hopes things will return to normal for next year’s holiday season. 

Thanksgiving is all about expressing gratitude. Around your table this year (and, in fact, every year), ask each person to express what they are grateful for. Remembering what we do have—the love of family, a full belly, a warm home and the promise of a vaccine in the new year—is a great way to put things in perspective.

While your usual traditions may need to be on hold for the time being, it’s a great time to create some new ones! Some possibilities:

  • Try a new game or enjoy a standard like charades.
  • Get crafty and create some homemade decorations, holiday cards or “thank you” signs to front-line workers that you can display in your front yard.
  • Bake something yummy for your neighbors, especially those who aren’t with their families this year.
  • Take advantage of our beautiful Long Island parks and take a family hike.
  • Ask your kids what they’d like to do that would make the holidays more special.

To read about safety tips for your Thanksgiving from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, click here.

Corporate Giving Still Vital in the Time of COVID, Long Island Business News, November 20, 2020

Corporate Giving Still Vital in the Time of COVID, Long Island Business News, November 20, 2020

Corporate giving is making life a little easier for some of the Long Islanders struggling to make ends meet in the time of COVID-19.

And amid the pandemic, whose earlier shutdown triggered economic fallout across the region and around the country, the need is great.

Just ask Randi Shubin Dresner, the president and CEO of Island Harvest Food Bank, which helps feed the food insecure on Long Island.

“Normally we help 300,000 families a year, but from the end of March to June, we helped 300,000 families,” she said.

This year, Island Harvest increased its food purchases by 500 percent, she said.

Thankfully, some corporate donors and individuals are stepping up.

Take the Mineola-based law firm Meltzer, Lippe, Goldstein and Breitstone.  The firm was gearing up pre-COVID to celebrate its 50th anniversary and wanted to meaningfully mark the occasion.

“Our plans, like so many others, were derailed by the pandemic,” said David Heymann, the firm’s managing partner.

“Accepting the fact that our big day could not happen in 2020, we determined to find some meaningful action we could take to ‘do good’ in recognition of 50 years of legal service and advice to the community,” he said. “We came to the conclusion that with all the stress and suffering, a virtual bash was not appropriate, and our funds could be put to better use, benefitting our less fortunate neighbors. We are extremely proud to have partnered with Island Harvest and the good works that they do.”

The firm’s initiative comes at a time when donors have stepped up their philanthropic giving amid the pandemic. Twenty-five percent of the philanthropic individuals surveyed in a 2020 poll expected to increase their donations, while 54 percent said they would maintain their giving levels, according to Fidelity Charitable, an independent public charity that helps donors support nonprofit organizations. But nearly half of those surveyed expected they would decrease or stop volunteering because of the pandemic. Conducted by the independent research firm Artemis Strategy Group, the survey heard from 1,842 adults earlier this year in the United States.

Dresner said that when Lew Meltzer, the Meltzer, Lippe chairman, toured the Island Harvest facility, he hoped his donation would challenge other law firms to donate as well.

Meanwhile, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights is also benefitting from generous philanthropy. Its board member Andrew Marcell, the CEO at Aon Reinsurance Solutions, spearheaded a private, socially distanced golf event, and his company raised over $56,000 for the nonprofit.

“This money provides crucial funding for our mental health services for kids and families throughout Nassau County, especially important during the pandemic, when the need is so great,” Andrew Malekoff, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center’s executive director and CEO, said.

And Family & Children’s Association, one of the largest and oldest health and human service agencies on Long Island, is a beneficiary of Hassett Subaru’s Share the Love Campaign, giving the organization a boost in delivering services.

Still, COVID-19 has cut into the organization’s ability to fundraise.

“I know that there are Long Island charities that are getting a record number of donations, but here at FCA, we haven’t had exactly the same experience,” said Jeffrey Reynolds, FCA’s chief executive.

“Our loyal donors have been supportive, but without events, with everyone complaining about email overload and our staff heavily focused on serving people in need – especially in our programs for homeless teens and services for people with mental health issues – we will likely end the year having to make some program cuts,” Reynolds said.

But that won’t diminish the need for services.

“Government contracts are being cut by 20 percent,” Reynolds said. “We are spending lots of money on PPE and cleaning supplies and our clients are asking for more and more help. That’s a perfect storm and we are making sure to re-double our holiday appeal efforts so that we can maintain programs, avoid waiting lists for services and keep staff in place for the new year. It’s daunting for sure, but I have a lot of confidence that Long Islanders will come through as they always do.”

Already at Island Harvest, organizations are stepping up in time for the holidays.

Bethpage Federal Credit Union, for instance, is launching its contactless Turkey Drive on Nov. 20 at its headquarters so that Long Islanders facing food insecurity can enjoy Thanksgiving.

“When COVID first hit earlier in the year, Bethpage Federal Credit Union immediately dedicated a significant amount of its financial resources to support COVID-specific relief efforts in addition to our normal community giving plans,” said Linda Armyn, Bethpage Federal’s senior vice president of corporate affairs.

The credit union provided “a substantial amount of funding to support healthcare workers, emergency daycare programs, COVID research, hunger relief and seniors, as well as families who became financially stressed through loss of income,” she said.

Wells Fargo funded meals for 1,500 families over six weeks in Hempstead, Dresner said.

Stop and Shop, too, has been “an incredible resource” year-round for Island Harvest. About 10 years ago, Island Harvest brought an idea to cut down waste by donating instead of throwing away meats that neared its sell-by date. The meat is now frozen and distributed to agencies and partners that safely handle frozen food.

Dresner is also active in the Long Island Food Council, where a member company, La Flor, donates spice packets during the holidays. “If you’re struggling to put food out for the family, the last thing you’re going to buy is spice,” Dresner said.

The $50,000 donation from Melter Lippe will provide nutritional education material for thousands of turkeys, so when people bring the poultry home, they understand how to cook it properly according to food safety guidelines.

The money will also go towards marketing efforts to let “others know about the important work we are doing through food donations and monetary support,” Dresner said.

Their generosity may well prompt others to help more Long Islanders persevere through the pandemic.