When Emily (not her real name) first came to North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, she was experiencing anxiety and depression that was largely caused by her fear of coming out to her family.
Her fears weren’t unfounded. “Her parents were very disapproving and would not accept their daughter’s bisexuality,” explains Elissa Smilowitz, LCSWR and Coordinator of Triage & Emergency Services at the Guidance Center. “It was devastating to Emily, as it is to any youth who experiences that kind of rejection.”
Emily and her parents had individual and family counseling at the Guidance Center, and, though it took some time, her parents came to understand that their daughter needed their love and support, not their condemnation. Their relationship is now solid, and Emily knows she can be herself with her family without risking judgment.
According to Smilowitz, the Guidance Center has seen a significant increase of young people who either identify as LGBTQ or who are questioning their sexuality.
“Kids who are 12 or 13 are at a time in their lives when they are discovering who they are, and for some, that brings up issues surrounding their sexual preferences,” she says. “They are discovering who they are in so many ways.”
While it’s a normal phase, some parents have a very hard time with it, but if they act upset or angry, it can be very detrimental to their children’s mental health, she says. Rejection leads to serious issues such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse and even suicidal thinking or actions.
The best response to this questioning phase is clear: Express unconditional love and acceptance. “Whether or not an adolescent ends up identify as LGBTQ or not doesn’t change the fact that parents need to be calm and supportive,” says Smilowitz. “Tell them you will love them the same no matter what.”For help with these and other issues, contact the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971. Another great resource on Long Island is The LGBT Network, an association of non-profit organizations working to serve the LGBT community of Long Island and Queens throughout their lifespan. It includes a group specifically for young people, called the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth (LIGALY).
According to the Human Rights Campaign’s report, Growing Up LGBT in America, a survey of more than 10,000 LGBT-identified youth ages 13-17:
4 in 10 say the community in which they live is not accepting of LGBT people.
They are twice as likely as their peers to say they have been physically assaulted, kicked or shoved.
26% say their biggest problems are not feeling accepted by their family; trouble at school/bullying; and fear to be out/open.
Over one-half (54%) say they have been verbally harassed and called names involving anti-gay slurs.
Among non-LGBT youth, 67% report being happy while only 37% of LGBT youth say they are happy.
LGBT youth are more than twice as likely as non-LGBT youth to experiment with alcohol and drugs.
92% say they hear negative messages about being LGBT. The top sources are school, the Internet and their peers.
Krevat Cup winner Troy Slade with Guidance Center staff and supporters
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center once again hosted a joyful fundraising event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner program at their 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic.
The event, which was held on June 3 at the beautiful North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, raised $140,000 to support the Guidance Center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year, the event honored the amazing staff of mental health professionals at the Guidance Center. “As they say, it takes a village, and the people who are at the heart of our work healing children and families are an incredible team,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center. “Whether they are social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, family advocates or others, they are devoted to providing the most compassionate care for every child, teen or family member who walks through our doors.”
This year’s speaker was Jennifer Pearlman, a licensed mental health counselor at the Guidance Center who received her B.A. in psychology from Queens College and her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from Brooklyn College. Pearlman shared the inspiring story of one of her young clients who came to her depressed and anxious, but after completing treatment told her, “Miss Jen, you gave me my life back.”
Pearlman described her experience as a social worker as “being there for people in their most vulnerable and desperate times in their life. It is supporting people through crisis. It is empowering people to become their best selves. It is teaching skills and helping people access their inner strength, even when they don’t feel they have it. It is being a safe space for people to share their most intimate thoughts and fears. And it is giving permission for people to express their emotions without fear of judgment.”
Once again, the co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Michael Schnepper and board members Michael Mondiello and Troy Slade. In addition, Dan Donnelly, who was the outstanding emcee, and board member Andrew Marcell shared the auctioneer’s block.
“It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime supporter of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
Event raises $140,000 to support children’s mental health agency
Roslyn Heights, NY, June 6, 2019—North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, once again hosted a joyful fundraising event filled with golf, tennis and an extraordinary dinner program at our 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic. The event, which was held on June 3, 2019 at the beautiful North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, raised $140,000 to support the Guidance Center’s work to bring hope and healing to children and families dealing with mental health or substance use challenges.
This year, the event honored the amazing staff of mental health professionals at the Guidance Center. “As they say, it takes a village, and the people who are at the heart of our work healing children and families are an incredible team,” said Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “Whether they are social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, family advocates or others, they are devoted to providing the most compassionate care for every child, teen or family member who walks through our doors.”
This year’s speaker was Jennifer Pearlman, a licensed mental health counselor at the Guidance Center who received her B.A. in psychology from Queens College and her Master’s in Mental Health Counseling from Brooklyn College. Pearlman shared the inspiring story of one of her young clients who came to her depressed and anxious, but after completing treatment told her, “Miss Jen, you gave me my life back.”
Pearlman described her experience as a social worker as “being there for people in their most vulnerable and desperate times in their life. It is supporting people through crisis. It is empowering people to become their best selves. It is teaching skills and helping people access their inner strength, even when they don’t feel they have it. It is being a safe space for people to share their most intimate thoughts and fears. And it is giving permission for people to express their emotions without fear of judgment.”
Once again, the co-chairs for this year’s Krevat Cup were Michael Schnepper and Board Members Michael Mondiello and Troy Slade. In addition, Dan Donnelly, who was the outstanding emcee, and Board Member Andrew Marcell shared the auctioneer’s block. “It’s all about the kids,” said Donnelly, a longtime supporter of the Guidance Center. “I consider it a privilege to be here today to help raise money to support the incredible work that truly makes a difference in the lives of children and their families.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; trauma; and family crises stemming from illness, death and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Just the other day I was reminded that May marks the anniversary of one of the saddest trending tweets in Twitter history. The reminder was a photo posted on Instagram of a girl holding a cardboard sign. The girl looked to be 13 or 14 years old. The sign read: If I die in a school shooting, leave my body on the steps of Congress.
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting was first tweeted a year ago, after 22 school shootings up to that point in 2018. Number 22 happened at Santa Fe High School in Texas on May 18, 2018, just a few months after the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, when a gunman killed 17 students and staff members and injured 17 others.
At Santa Fe, 10 people—eight students and two teachers—were fatally shot. Thirteen more were wounded.
As we mark the first anniversary of #IfIDieInASchoolShooting, the “statistics” have climbed. Eight school shootings have taken place on high school or college campuses in 2019 through the month of May. So far.
In a piece on the trending hashtag written by India Pougher for ELLE Magazine four days after the Santa Fe shooting, she wrote, “Students began tweeting…and sharing the things they would miss out on if their lives were taken too soon. The answers range from leaving their loved ones behind to never graduating college and never getting married.” Here are some of the tweets:
Please make school shootings die with me — @madhavids
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting don't release pictures of my smiling face. release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. politicize my death
Don’t release pictures of my smiling face. Release pictures of my bloody dead corpse to show what school shootings really are. Politicize my death — @hmc823
#IfIdieInASchoolShooting then I’ll never get to publish my book, celebrate my sweet 16, get married, or see my children grow to be wonderful people.
Protect my little sister so she can stop “learning to hide from the bad guy” — @robinisme16
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change
— jaxon // great mills strong (@jaxonomara) May 20, 2018
My 8 younger siblings will have to grow up without their oldest sister, i’ll never graduate high school or college, i’ll never get to work in dc like i’ve wanted to since i was young, i’ll never get to create change — @jaxonomara
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless I wouldn’t achieve my dream If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another
My dogs would be left wondering why I never came home. My internet friends would be clueless. I wouldn’t achieve my dream. If I die in a school-shooting the government won’t do anything to prevent another — @TAKENBYDEMA
#IfIDieInASchoolShooting I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me.
I will never become a nurse and fulfill my dream of helping children, teenagers, and young adults. My passion for wanting to save lives will die with me — @beachwonders
One adult saved me the trouble of writing a conclusion, when he tweeted:
— Steven Beschloss (@StevenBeschloss) May 22, 2018
If I Die In A School Shooting is the saddest hashtag I’ve ever read — @StevenBeschloss
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
NEW YORK (1010 WINS) — The World Health Organization will list video gaming as a behavioral addiction for the first time.
An official vote by the World Health Organization was made for the latest edition of its International Classification of Diseases, or ICD, to include an entry on “gaming disorder” as a behavioral addiction.
According to WHO, in roder for gaming disorder to be diagnosed, “the behavior pattern must be of sufficient severity to result in significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning and would normally have been evident for at least 12 months.”
“Similar to other addictions, like with drugs or alcohol, a lot of time is spent thinking about ‘When is the next game,” Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center told CBS2.
NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – Popular, controversial, and now – according to the World Health Organization – video games have just been recognized as a behavioral addiction.
According to Pew research, 97 percent of teen boys and 83 percent of girls play games on some kind of device. Now, videogaming is an internationally recognized addiction, according to the WHO.
Andrew Malekoff of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center told CBS2’s Jennifer McLogan the International Classification of Diseases now includes an entry on “gaming disorder” as a behavioral addiction.
“Similar to other addictions, like with drugs or alcohol, a lot of time is spent thinking about ‘When is the next game,’” Malekoff said.
Studies show those vulnerable are unable to stop playing, even when it interferes with their lives.
Some experts suggest rather that going cold turkey on technology, focus on reduction. Keep devices out of the bedroom, make sure young people go to school, spend time with friends, and play outdoors, McLogan reported.
Not everyone is caught in a gaming web. The New York Institute of Technology is one college in our area that offers students a major in game design and development.
“There’s a lot companies looking for engineers, computer science engineers, to code their websites to stay ahead of the esports curve,” said Elieser Duran, head coach of e-sports at NYIT. “Here at NYIT, making sure all pieces are in place, so the moment they graduate they can get a job in the industry that is flourishing right now.’
Rep. Peter King says gaming is a legitimate issue to explore.
“I think its important to have hearings on it, to see if there is a role for legislation, to educate the public, get it out there, bring in the experts,” King said.
He says putting down devices more often is a good start.
Doctors say until the U.S. psychiatric profession agrees with the World Health Organization that gaming addiction is an official diagnosis, it will be difficult to bill insurers for treatment.
Does spending time outdoors as a child improve mental health as an adult? According to a new European study published in the International Journal of Environmental Health Research, exposure to nature—or what the researcher calls NOEs, for natural outdoor environments—does, indeed, lead to better mental health for youngsters as they grow into their adult years.
The study found that, “Compared to high levels of childhood NOE exposure, low levels of childhood NOE exposure were significantly associated with lower mental health scores in adulthood.”
For several years, the Guidance Center has been not only touting the benefits of nature for children’s mental health, but also incorporating experiences in nature into our therapeutic methods.
Case in point: Our two organic gardens—one at our headquarters in Roslyn Heights and the other at our Marks Family Right From the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset—where we see children blossom as they learn important skills such as self-confidence, focus, cooperation and responsibility.
“One of the most critical things for kids we work with is to help them build a sense of belonging, mastery and competence,” says Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “Working in a garden helps children develop self-esteem as they witness what their hard work and dedication can create, and it’s also a way for them to connect with other kids.”
The Guidance Center also has a “Nature Nursery” at our Right From the Start Center, where our youngest clients use all their senses as they play in a sandbox, touch the leaves and pine cones, produce musical sounds on percussive instruments, draw on a chalkboard or paint on an outdoor “canvas.”
The various textures, sounds, smells and sights in the Nature Nursery help children explore their creative sides, share their feelings and learn skills to help them calm down when they are feeling upset or agitated.
Our teen clients reap the benefits of nature through our Wilderness Respite Program, in which they go on hikes to various natural settings and develop important traits such as individual growth, leadership, self-esteem, social bonds and improved communication.
With spring in full bloom, do your kids—and yourself—a favor: Unplug and explore some of Long Island’s fabulous parks, beaches, gardens and playgrounds. These are experiences they’ll remember long after the latest computer gadget is in the junk pile.
For many generations, popular music has played a significant role in the lives of young people. Although it seems quaint now, the uproar over Elvis and his gyrating pelvis or the Beatles and their long hair was a real source of contention among the youth of the 1960s and their parents. But in that same generation, music played a central role in important events like the anti-war movement and the struggle for Civil Rights.
Fast forward several decades to today, and the least of a parent’s concern is long hair or seductive dancing (though “twerking” isn’t something you want to see your kids doing). From pop music to hip hop to heavy metal to RAP, some lyrics have gone far beyond being merely suggestive to downright graphic in nature. Some feature violent images, misogynistic lyrics and the promotion of drug use, with many songs talking about getting high. Others encourage suicide.
One popular band, Pierce the Veil, says the following in its song “Dive In.”
Do you remember the knife I kept? The sharper it got, the more you wanted me to use it I was lying to you, but you were lying too So what’s left to do? What’s left to say? Stop making friends, just us I’ll decompose with you So light the fuse inside your brain and We will detonate
In his song “So Much Better,” Eminen raps, “I got 99 problems and a b*tch ain’t one / She’s all 99 of ’em; I need a machine gun.”
And those are just two examples (and hardly the most disturbing). Plus, the content of videos can be even worse.
Professor Katrina Skewes McFerran, Head of Music Therapy, Melbourne Conservatorium of Music, University of Melbourne, makes the point that kids aren’t passive recipients of music; they are “active agents” when it comes to their interactions with music.
“Most healthy young people will naturally use music in really positive ways – to explore different aspects of their identity, to have a great time, to motivate them to exercise, to distract them from problems, to cover up outside noises so they can focus on homework,” she says. “But if young people are feeling bad, they’re more inclined to use music to deepen in to dark feelings. This can be great for validation and helping them feel understood—but sometimes it goes wrong, and it actually intensifies negative feelings.”
Brooke Hambrecht, LMSW at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, says she often talks with her clients and their parents about how the music we listen to impacts our mood. “Sometimes teenagers who are down and depressed choose to listen to sad or negative music, which brings their low even further down,” she explains. “Also, kids who are feeling angry and enraged often choose to listen to a song that intensifies their rage.”
Although listening to music is a coping skill, Hambrecht encourages her clients to choose the right kind of music in order for it to be an adaptive coping skill. “Something I talk about is mindful song selecting, or picking music that can bring their mood to a better place—the place they want to be instead of the negative place that they are,” she says.
Here are a few tips to help you talk to your kids about music:
Encourage your child’s love of music—it can be a powerful emotional and creative force in their lives.
Suggest your kids create a “good mood” playlist of songs that make them happy.
Start talking about music with your child from a very young age rather than just when they become tweens or teens. The lessons you teach them when they are young will impact their future choices.
Do keep an “ear” out for the lyrics in the music they are listening to, and if it contains messages that you deem unacceptable, discuss it with them rather than just telling them to stop listening it or criticizing it.
The takeaway: Let the lyrics that you find offensive or worrisome open a conversation about the fact that drugs, alcohol, violence and suicide are not subjects that should be glamorized.
Troy Slade, Mike Mondiello, Dan Donnelly and Michael Schnepper
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be holding its 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic on Monday, June 3, at the North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, one of the region’s premier courses.
Co-chairs Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade are once again working together to create a stellar event filled with friendly competition, delicious dining and wonderful auction prizes. This year, the event is celebrating the dedicated mental health professionals at the Guidance Center — the people who are at the heart of the many success stories of moving families from hurting to healing.
“The reason the Guidance Center changes so many lives for the better is because the staff is composed of caring, compassionate and highly trained individuals,” said Slade, who is a member of the board of directors. “I’m thrilled that we are celebrating them at this year’s Krevat Cup.”
“This is going to be a phenomenal event,” said Mondiello, also a member of the Guidance Center’s board of directors. “The North Hempstead Country is a beautiful course, and we are excited to hold the Krevat Cup at this elegant location for the first time.”
Established on Long Island’s beautiful and serene Gold Coast in 1916, the North Hempstead Country Club features a tree-lined, manicured golf course designed by renowned architect A. W. Tillinghast, one of the most creative and productive golf course designers ever.
In addition to golf, the event will feature round robin tennis (for the non-golfers among the attendees), a delicious brunch and a gourmet dinner after the day’s games conclude. It will also feature a silent and live auction, with prizes ranging from club seats for a Yankee game to exciting vacation packages and much more.
Dan Donnelly, one of the Guidance Center’s most ardent supporters, as well as a former Krevat Cup honoree, will be serving again as the emcee and auctioneer. “I’m so pleased that this year’s event is celebrating the Guidance Center’s amazing staff,” says Donnelly. “The people working here are such caring souls who are truly devoted to saving lives.”
The other auctioneer for the evening portion of the event is Andrew Marcell, a Guidance Center board member. “The Krevat Cup is one of the most enjoyable events of the season,” Marcell said. “It’s a win-win: Everyone has a terrific time while supporting the lifesaving mission of the Guidance Center.” Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, said, “The event is crucial to our fundraising efforts, and will help us continue to help thousands of children each year who are struggling with issues such as bullying, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.”
The Guidance Center thanks Fifth Avenue of LI Realty/Americana Manhasset, which has signed on as a Diamond Sponsor.
For those interested in joining a team, attending the dinner, becoming a sponsor or placing a journal ad, it’s not too late. Contact Patrick Madden at 516-626-1971, ext. 309 or via pmadden@northshorechildguidance.org.
From left: Michael Mullman, Ed Geller, Jeff Krevat and Peter Braverman
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will hold its 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic on Monday, June 3, at the North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, one of the region’s premier courses.
Co-chairs Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade are once again working together to create a stellar event filled with friendly competition, delicious dining and wonderful auction prizes. This year, the event is celebrating the dedicated mental health professionals at the Guidance Center—the people who are at the heart of the many success stories of moving families from hurting to healing.
“The reason the Guidance Center changes so many lives for the better is because the staff is composed of caring, compassionate and highly trained individuals,” said Slade, who is a member of the board of directors. “I’m thrilled that we are celebrating them at this year’s Krevat Cup.”
“This is going to be a phenomenal event,” said Mondiello, also a member of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors. “The North Hempstead Country is a beautiful course, and we are excited to hold the Krevat Cup at this elegant location for the first time!”
Troy Slade, Mike Mondiello, Dan Donnelly and Michael Schnepper
Established on Long Island’s beautiful and serene Gold Coast in 1916, the North Hempstead Country Club features a tree-lined, superiorly manicured golf course designed by renowned architect A. W. Tillinghast, one of the most creative and productive golf course designers ever.
In addition to golf, the event will feature round robin tennis (for the non-golfers among the attendees), a delicious brunch and a gourmet dinner after the day’s games conclude. It will also feature a silent and live auction, with prizes ranging from club seats for a Yankee game to exciting vacation packages and much more.
Dan Donnelly, one of the Guidance Center’s most ardent supporters, as well as a former Krevat Cup honoree, will be serving again as the emcee and auctioneer. “I’m so pleased that this year’s event is celebrating the Guidance Center’s amazing staff,” said Donnelly. “The people working here are such caring souls who are truly devoted to saving lives.”
A tennis player readies her serve.
The other auctioneer for the evening portion of the event is Andrew Marcell, a Guidance Center Board Member. “The Krevat Cup is one of the most enjoyable events of the season,” Marcell said. “It’s a win-win: Everyone has a terrific time while supporting the lifesaving mission of the Guidance Center.”
Executive Director Andrew Malekoff said, “The event is crucial to our fundraising efforts, and will help us continue to help thousands of children each year who are struggling with issues such as bullying, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.”
Fifth Avenue of LI Realty/Americana Manhasset has signed on as a Diamond Sponsor. For those interested in joining a team, attending the dinner, becoming a sponsor or placing a journal ad, contact Patrick Madden at pmadden@northshorechildguidance.org or 516-626-1971, ext. 309.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the preeminent nonprofit, children’s mental health agency on Long Island, dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth to age 24) and their families. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all regardless of their ability to pay.
(From left) Sandy Milillo, Maureen Ferrari, Jo-Ellen Hazan, Keith Mait and Toni Ann Naha helped North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center raise a record $87,000-plus at its Spring Luncheon.
Volunteers from National Grid included (left to right) Malcolm Minott, Fran Di Leonardo, Kathleen Wisnewski, Alanna Russo, Susan Eckert, Lauren Benetos and Carie Manticos, pictured with Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust of the Guidance Center.
On May 7, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center welcomed seven employees of National Grid to its Leeds Place location on Brush Hollow Road in Westbury, one of the Guidance Center’s three sites.
The seven volunteers — who brought with them new large decorative planters, several beds of petunias, geraniums, catmint, hostas and juniper bushes, along some white paint—spent the day planting, painting and cleaning the Leeds Place signpost, giving the building a fresh, friendly look.
“National Grid is happy to partner with North Shore Child & Family Guidance at their Leeds Place,” said Kathleen Wisnewski, National Grid customer and community manager, who was part of the volunteer team. “The planting and beautification project performed by employees from our Customer and Community and IS Teams is another example of how National Grid gives back to the community we live and work in. It’s nice to know that the people entering the Leeds Place will be greeted by beautiful flowers to help brighten their day.”
Fran DiLeonardo, director, IT customer service management at National Grid, was enthusiastic as he put his all into the project. “It was another great day making a difference in the community that we live and work in!” said DiLeonardo. “It’s always rewarding to put the time aside and make it happen; that’s why we keep coming back!”
“I love meeting new people and learning about the good work they are doing to support folks in their communities who need a little extra help,” said volunteer Susan M Eckert, IT Infrastructure and Operations at National Grid. “It was very inspiring!”
This is the third time this year that National Grid has volunteered for the Guidance Center. “We are very proud of our partnership with National Grid,” said Lauren McGowan, director of development, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “Everyone is so generous with their time and talents. The volunteers all worked tirelessly to help make the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place office an attractive place for our clients to continue on their path to healing.”
If your company would like to discuss opportunities to volunteer at the Guidance Center or support our mission in other ways, contact McGowan at LMcGowan@northshorechildguidance.org or call her at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
In this file photo taken on June 30, 2018 a person holds a sign during protest against US immigration policies on the international bridge between Mexico and the US, in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico. (HERIKA MARTINEZ/AFP/Getty Images)
Just the other day I had a conversation with a young father who, along with his wife, bought their first house. He described moving from their apartment to his in-laws’ home in preparation for the big move. He spoke about how discombobulated their 2-year-old daughter was as a result.
Now, imagine if instead of a move to a new house, that child was unceremoniously taken away by strangers and placed in an unfamiliar setting, with people she never met before, for an undetermined period of time. Picturing this sends chills up my spine.
The separation of thousands of migrant children from their parents at our southern border has generated enough finger-pointing to overshadow the focus on the long-term traumatic impact of the zero-tolerance family separation policy on the children, especially the youngest ones.
The subjects of debate include which president bears the greatest responsibility for the separation policy; whether an area enclosed by a cyclone fence used to involuntarily house children is a cage or a shelter; and whether a zero-tolerance policy is an effective deterrent.
Somewhere beyond politics, the truth exists about the real impact of prolonged separation on children’s emotional well-being. Yet, even that has become a subject of debate.
Some supporters of the zero-tolerance policy argue that the separated children are probably better off because while they are detained, they’ll be more likely to get better health care, more recreational options and nutritional meals.
They forget to mention toxic stress. They will get that too.
The American Academy of Pediatrics affirmed that “Highly stressful experiences, like family separation, can cause irreparable harm, disrupting a child’s brain architecture,” and that “prolonged exposure to serious stress — known as toxic stress — can carry lifelong consequences for children.”
The consequences of this adverse childhood experience include learning difficulties, behavior problems, difficulty regulating emotions and increased and potentially debilitating physical and mental health issues.
As it currently stands, a large majority of the estimated 2,400 separated children have been reunited with their families, or placed with a relative in the U.S. following the June 13, 2018, executive order reversing the zero-tolerance family separation policy.
In viewing broadcast footage taken at several such reunifications, it does not take a trained eye to see the heightened levels of anxiety and dysregulation that the children are experiencing. Returning from what amounts to sudden and involuntary detention is just not the same as a return home after a month at sleepaway camp.
Despite the executive order reversing the zero-tolerance policy, recently released government data indicate that at least 250 children have been separated from their parents since that time.
The damage done to thousands of innocent young lives at the border was an unforced error by the United States. It was entirely unnecessary because it is not a deterrent for a parent who fears that his or her child’s life is in danger in their home country.
The fact that separating children from their families and placing them in an institutional environment can lead to irreversible changes in their brains is a violation of human rights and an atrocity.
The good news is that the children have a decent chance of recovering from toxic stress — provided that they and their parents get quality professional bilingual mental health counseling upon reunification. But what are the odds of that happening? The Refugee Mental Health Resource Network states that there is an increasing need for services for asylum seekers, and the demand far exceeds the supply of mental health professionals.
According to Allan Shapiro, a pediatrician and co-founder of Terra Firma, a nationally recognized medical-legal partnership located in the South Bronx, the office of the inspector general found that separated children placed in office of refugee resettlement care face a mental health staff-to-child ratio of 1:100. That includes staff who have not been fingerprinted or otherwise properly vetted.
To the extent that the federal government does not actively facilitate the children getting the quality mental health care that they need, we will forever bear responsibility for the havoc it will wreak on their future lives.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center on Long Island, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. www.northshorechildguidance.org.
It wasn’t necessary for the slaughter of innocents at Sandy Hook elementary school on Dec. 14, 2012 to validate that there is evil in the world. But what it did is affirm that if the massacre of 6- and 7-year-old children is not off limits, then nothing is.
This perception has been so routinely validated since that fateful day there is the real possibility that we are becoming numb to mass shootings in America.
Psychic numbing is a psychological condition that leads one to feeling indifferent to horrific events. The quote attributed to Joseph Stalin, “One death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic,” is an illustration of that state.
The sabbath day synagogue attack in Poway, Calif., is just the latest mass shooting in America and the second synagogue shooting in only six months following the Tree of Life slaughter in Pittsburgh.
After some time passes, Poway will become another tombstone in our collective psyche, alongside all the others that have occurred in churches, mosques, public schools, colleges, shopping malls, nightclubs, business offices, concert halls and more.
Shortly after the shootings, mental health experts, clergy and educators offer tips, wisdom and spiritual support to speechless parents about how to soothe their children. Their advice always is: Be available emotionally, be compassionate, limit media exposure, reassure safety, offer distractions to prevent obsessive worry, watch for angry outbursts and depression and, if symptoms persist, seek professional help.
I imagine if parents were to speak from their guts instead of their heads and hearts, they would likely tell their children: “It’s a cruel world, evil is everywhere, toughen up, watch your back, and don’t trust anyone.”
In 2019 alone, through the end of March and before Poway, there have been 70 mass shootings, 90 dead and 249 wounded across the country. These statistics can be found in any number of publications that have taken on the task of tracking mass shootings in the United States. They include USA Today, Mother Jones, Vox and the Washington Post.
When I was a child, I was an avid collector of baseball cards. I knew all the stats of my favorite players. I checked the box scores in the papers each morning after a game. Those were the numbers that consumed my childhood. Now it’s mass shootings. How many? How many dead? How many wounded? What team is the shooter on? Is he a lone wolf?
It is sad to say but I am no longer shocked. I know Poway won’t be the last nor will the next be the last.
In an interview with Bill Moyers one year after 9/11, psychiatrist Robert J. Lifton said, “I think we all have a double life. On the one hand, we know we can be annihilated and everybody around us by terrorism, by the incredible weaponry this world now has. And yet in another part of our mind we simply go through our routine. And, we do what we do in life, and we try to do it as well as we can.”
Lifton has a most unique perspective having studied the aftermath of the Hiroshima bomb, the Nazi doctors, and the cult that released gas into the Tokyo subway, among many other horrible things people do to one another.
What he seems to be saying is that on the one hand we’re free to live our day-to-day lives, but on the other hand, we are never unmindful of these events. And, so we have a choice to make. We can let these events pass us by as a train in the night or get involved in something that really matters.
Students, like those from from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., have been models for transcending inertia and taking social action, at choosing hope over despair.
As one such student from Iowa said in an interview on PBS: “Change will not come on its own. We have to make it for ourselves. The adults have proven that they are unwilling to move beyond thoughts and prayers. We must force them into action.”
Take a stand.
Make waves.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Is your child a picky eater? Does her or his eating create tension in your home? What was your experience in being fed growing up? Were your parents overly involved?
These are a few questions to consider if you are concerned with your child’s eating habits. Donna Fish, a licensed clinical social worker, offers parents and kids guidance in how to take the fight out of food.
I met Ms. Fish at her workshop that focused on learning how to prevent and solve childhood and teen eating problems. She advised that two questions to ask up front are: What is the problem? And whose problem is it?
These two questions are critical to understanding whether your child’s eating is problematic from a medical/developmental perspective.
If a medical problem has been ruled out, the child is not nutritionally compromised and there are no body image issues the child is experiencing, then there needs to be some better understanding about how their picky eating is affecting dynamics in the family. For example, does it lead to parents frequently fighting or to tension on vacations?
Basic parent education on nutrition and development go a long way in helping a parent to understand that their child is on a normal growth curve and that how they eat from a nutritional perspective is nothing to be worried about. Consulting with your pediatrician or finding a nutritionist is a good place to begin.
If education doesn’t do the trick, then it is helpful to understand a bit more about whose problem it is. This necessitates an understanding about the meaning of food in the family.
In many cultures food and feeding represent love, nurturing and bonding. If a child’s picky eating denies a parent a sense of nurturing it can lead to a battle of wills. In that case, a child quickly learns how their eating represents an ability to take control, which can lead to power struggles in the family.
For parents, understanding their own experiences eating when growing up can offer them some insight. For example, if their parents were overly involved with their eating it might suggest some difficulty trusting your own body signals regarding when you’re hungry or full and satiated.
If a parent makes this historical connection, it may help them to better understand the value in allowing their child to have more autonomy with eating. For example, they can be allowed to control their own meal portions. For a toddler that might mean putting finger foods on their tray so they can help themselves as opposed to being spoon fed.
In her work with children who are struggling with eating, Fish advises “You are the expert on your body. You need to be the best body detective possible. It’s your job, not your parents’ job.” This is important work that helps the child to separate emotions from feelings of fullness and comfort.
Ms. Fish sees “all food as good,” as having some value, and talks to kids about nutrition in a way that generates interest and curiosity.
Still, if your child appears to continually make poor choices, it is important that you set reasonable limits. As Fish puts it, “Parents think their job is to protect their child from disappointment, anxiety and hurt,” but it is okay for children to experience the disappointment of your setting limits on occasion. It’s just another of the many areas where parents can help their kids learn a valuable life lesson.
To learn more about Donna Fish, visit www.donnafish.com. Take the Fight Out of Food can be found on Amazon.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
Volunteers plant and paint at Leeds Place in Westbury
Volunteers from National Grid included (left to right) Malcolm Minott, Fran Di Leonardo, Kathleen Wisnewski, Alanna Russo, Susan Eckert, Lauren Benetos and Carie Manticos, pictured with Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust of the Guidance Center.
Roslyn Heights, NY, May 13, 2019 — On May 7, 2019, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center welcomed seven employees of National Grid to its Leeds Place location on Brush Hollow Road in Westbury, one of the Guidance Center’s three sites.
The seven volunteers—who brought with new large decorative planters, several beds of petunias, geraniums, catmint, hostas and juniper bushes, along some white paint—spent the day planting, painting and cleaning the Leeds Place signpost, giving the building a fresh, friendly look.
“National Grid is happy to partner with North Shore Child & Family Guidance at their Leeds Place,” said Kathleen Wisnewski, National Grid Customer and Community Manager, who was part of the volunteer team. “The planting and beautification project performed by employees from our Customer and Community and IS Teams is another example of how National Grid gives back to the community we live and work in. It’s nice to know that the people entering the Leeds Place will be greeted by beautiful flowers to help brighten their day.”
Fran DiLeonardo, Director, IT Customer Service Management at National Grid, was enthusiastic as he put his all into the project. “It was another great day making a difference in the community that we live and work in!” said DiLeonardo. “It’s always rewarding to put the time aside and make it happen; that’s why we keep coming back!”
“I love meeting new people and learning about the good work they are doing to support folks in their communities who need a little extra help,” said volunteer Susan M Eckert, IT Infrastructure and Operations at National Grid. “It was very inspiring!”
This is the third time this year that National Grid has volunteered for the Guidance Center. “We are very proud of our partnership with National Grid,” said Lauren McGowan, Director of Development, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “Everyone is so generous with their time and talents. The volunteers all worked tirelessly to help make the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place office an attractive place for our clients to continue on their path to healing.”
If your company would like to discuss opportunities to volunteer at the Guidance Center or support our mission in other ways, contact McGowan at LMcGowan@northshorechildguidance.org or call her at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
About North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
About National Grid:
National Grid (LSE: NG; NYSE: NGG) is an electricity, natural gas and clean energy delivery company serving more than 20 million people through our networks in New York, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. We are the largest distributor of natural gas in the Northeast. National Grid also operates the systems that deliver gas and electricity across Great Britain. National Grid is transforming our electricity and natural gas networks with smarter, cleaner and more resilient energy solutions to meet the goal of reducing greenhouse gas emissions by 80 percent by 2050. Our Northeast 80×50 Pathway is an industry leading analysis for how to reach that goal in the states we serve, focusing on the power generation, heat and transportation sectors.
Read more about the innovative projects across our footprint in The Democratization of Energy, an eBook written by National Grid’s U.S. president, Dean Seavers. For more information, please visit our website, follow us on Twitter, watch us on YouTube, friend us on Facebookand find our photos on Instagram.
In a recent story in the Albany Times Union, reporter Mallory Moench paints a different picture about juvenile asylum seekers as compared to recent stories about caravans purportedly composed of gang members and Middle Eastern terrorists.
In the report we meet Rosa, who left El Salvador as a young adolescent after being targeted by a gang intending to prostitute her. To prevent becoming sexually exploited, she left her parents and crossed the border. She has been living in the Capital Region of New York for the past two years.
Rosa, now 17, is undocumented and is seeking special immigrant juvenile status that would enable her to apply for a green card which permits a foreign national to live and work permanently in the U.S.
Rosa understands that she could be denied and deported. More than 12,500 undocumented young people have participated in immigration court this year alone. For those without a lawyer, the odds of deportation are much greater.
According to the Albany Times Union report, “If juveniles [under the age of 21] have a relative who is a U.S. citizen or green card holder, they can apply for a family-based petition. If they are victims of trafficking, domestic violence or another crime they can apply for crime victim visas. If they’re fleeing persecution like Rosa, they can apply for asylum. If they’re missing one or more parents they’re eligible for special immigrant juvenile status.”
Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions had taken measures to fast-track deportations. Consequently, many juveniles may be sent back to their homelands—and the dangers and threats that await them—before legal proceedings are implemented.
Many of the young people living in New York’s Capital Region, ages 12 to 19, came from El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras or Mexico after being confronted with gang violence. The profile and numbers of refugees on Long Island is similar. It is ironic that with the incendiary political rhetoric of the day, many asylum seekers have been labeled gang members, when it is gangs that they are trying to escape from.
Many young migrants endured trauma in their passage to the U.S. They faced starvation, violence and abandonment.
There are only two immigration courts in all of New York. One is located in New York City and the other is in Buffalo. For many asylum seekers, the cost for transportation to court hearings prevents them from following through. For example, for those living in the Capital Region, a bus ride can be as much as $100 and more than $500 for private transportation.
This is especially daunting when they are living in poverty.
Furthermore, there is a cap on the number of visas given each year and also each month. This contributes to inordinate delays in court.
For most of these juveniles the fear and anxiety of being deported as they await a final legal determination can be unbearable and impacts their ability to heal from the traumatic journey to the U.S.
Immigration laws do need to be enforced as open borders with endless flow of refugees is unsustainable.
The challenge is how to enforce the law, dial down the divisive and hateful rhetoric, demonstrate compassion and seek humane solutions for young migrants simply looking to live without fear. We’ve strayed from that ideal. I hope we can find our way back.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
I didn’t attend many funerals in my childhood. One that I recall was for the father of a close childhood friend. He died of a heart condition during our first year of high school.
In the intervening years I have paid my respects on numerous occasions, including a disturbing number of times after the untimely deaths of young people. Conversations at funerals inevitably lead to the circumstances of the death and the conditions leading up to it. Talking about the cause of a loved one’s death is never easy. But these conversations are especially difficult, even taboo, in the aftermath of a drug overdose or a death by suicide, when grieving is complicated by circumstance.
In most cases when someone dies, the feelings of loss and numbness ease incrementally, enabling the bereaved to process the experience and gradually return to a new state of normal. In contrast, when grief is complicated and survivors are inconsolable, accepting the loss and moving forward is far more difficult.
The stigma, shame and discrimination that accompany living with a mental health or substance-use disorder often have the effect of silencing not only those who have the disorder but also their family members. And after losing a loved one to one of these illnesses, surviving family members are often rendered voiceless once again.
Matt Shapiro, associate director of public affairs for the Albany-based National Alliance on Mental Illness New York State, shared that “The impact that mental illness had on me and my family led me to shame, silence and masking who I really was. [Becoming an advocate for] the National Alliance on Mental Illness has given me the ability to take off that mask, end the silence and speak about my issues.”
Shapiro is one of a growing number of those fighting to ensure that people with a mental health or substance-use disorder have timely and affordable access to treatment and care in accordance with the federal Mental Health Parity and Addiction Act. The passage of that bipartisan law in 2008 aimed to prevent health insurers from imposing less favorable benefit limitations on such care than on medical and surgical coverage.
But having a law on the books doesn’t guarantee compliance or effective enforcement. Millions of dollars in fines imposed on violators have had little impact on the trillion-dollar behemoth that is today’s health insurance industry.
Bad publicity doesn’t seem to work, either, because tens of thousands of New Yorkers continue to have difficulty accessing timely and affordable in-network care. Still, advocates like Shapiro battle on with unwavering determination.
Also fighting to make a difference are larger-scale advocacy efforts like Parity at 10, a three-year campaign to unite local and national advocates in 10 states, including New York, to pursue full enforcement of the Parity Act. Achieving full enforcement of parity compliance and enforcement, however, remains highly problematic.
It’s about time to ask Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the commissioners of the state Departments of Health and Financial Services, which are responsible for enforcing parity, questions such as, what will it take for you to suspend the licenses of serial violators in the health care industry and to put them out of business if they fail to reform?
Corporations have no empathy, and are unencumbered by conscience and shame. What do they care about? The profits they accumulate from the misery of people living with untreated mental health and substance-use disorders whose access to care they deny. If fines alone won’t work, only the real threat of putting them out of business will.
Do Cuomo and the State Legislature have the nerve to take on the health care insurance industry when it comes to parity enforcement, beyond passing nominal legislation for funding to add staff to the DOH and the DFS for monitoring and trouble-shooting, as they have done this year?
Increasing staff in those departments to enhance surveillance of parity compliance is a good step forward. But without impactful enforcement when persistent deficiencies that impede access to care are identified, the benefits are questionable.
Greedy health insurers and neglectful government regulators have two things in common: They count on stigma and our silence — in life and death.
Andrew Malekoff is executive director of the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, a nonprofit children’s mental health center. For more information, go to www.northshorechildguidance.org.
What does it take for a group with a strong ethical foundation to stray from its ethical convictions? This is a vital question for anyone affiliated with an organization that espouses human rights — and it’s also relevant to anyone of any age who feels reluctant to speak out in our increasingly divided culture.
The American Psychological Association, founded in 1892, offers a case in point by demonstrating how even the best of intentions can go awry in dire circumstances. It is a situation that all of us may face in our lives.
To set the stage, although there has been much debate in recent years as to whether “enhanced interrogation” constitutes torture, it has been determined to be so according to international standards set forth in the 1949 Geneva Conventions and the 1984 United Nations Convention Against Torture.
Nevertheless, in the aftermath of 9/11, the APA supported this practice in the interrogation of detainees held in Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, Abu Ghraib in Iraq and in a number of so-called “Black Sites” across the globe, including Lithuania, Thailand, Romania, Afghanistan and Poland.
How did the APA, whose mission is to apply psychological knowledge to benefit society and improve people’s lives, come to support torture? One possibility, according to psychologist Dr. Nina Thomas, who has served on an APA ethics panel, was for APA members to take the position: “We didn’t know about it.”
Thomas wrote about this matter in an article entitled, “We didn’t know: Silence and silencing in organizations,” which was published in the International Journal of Group Psychotherapy in 2016.
Thomas says that a full understanding of context is critical to unraveling how the APA became involved in enhanced interrogation. She notes that soon after the 2001 attack on America, “national security was uppermost in the minds of government officials and private corporations and organizations.” No one living in the vicinity of the attacks at that time would doubt that there was growing fear and insecurity. Any sense of American invincibility was replaced by paranoia.
Living on Long Island, just about 25 miles from the World Trade Center, I was hesitant to travel by way of bridges or tunnels for a time. Was I being cautious, irrational or paranoid? Whichever it was, there was a visceral sense of something profoundly different. It was my sense that most people, especially in the areas directly affected by the attacks experienced this feeling.
Historically, according to Thomas, psychologists assisted the U.S. military in “analyzing propaganda and countering its effects as well as boosting morale during protracted war.” They also provided research on “learned helplessness” that was used to prepare captured American soldiers to resist interrogation during times of war.
This history of collaboration contributed to a growing relationship between the APA and the U.S. Department of Defense and the Central Intelligence Agency. At a time when there was a pervasive sense of acute fear, the APA was positioned to be a vital asset in helping to extract information from detainees that might protect American lives from further attacks. And perhaps by any means possible.
Thomas says some of the APA members who directly or tacitly supported the role of psychologists in the interrogations later reported taking issue with the international standards and their definition of torture.
Consequently, in a context of immense fear and hyper-vigilance, interrogation practices that overrode the APA’s ethical standards were excused or perhaps ignored by conveniently distorting the conventional standards used to define torture.
Potential dissenters — essentially bystanders — were then faced with the challenge of being silent (“We didn’t know about it”) or speaking out and being ostracized and marginalized. Apparently a good number chose the option of “going along to get along.”
In any group that strays from its ethical standards, according to Thomas, “when personal interests hold sway over ethical concerns, the group runs the risk of self-destructing,” particularly when an impression of “we were just following orders” prevails.
Some APA members (and others) may have felt that psychologists’ role in the interrogations were justified as they were used in their entirety for what was perceived as the greater good.
Perhaps the lesson for members of all organized groups, as articulated by Dr. Thomas is, “when self-interest trumps ethics, no one is served.”
This story offers a good lesson for children (and for all of us) growing up in an increasingly divided America. The bottom line: Citizenship involves being active participants in community affairs, even when it may place you at odds with your friends, neighbors, colleagues or others. It is vital that we teach young people that dissent is a cornerstone of democracy. They need to know that their voices will make a real difference in changing the world where others have failed.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
A sellout crowd of 245 people recently joined together for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s annual spring luncheon. This year’s event, which supports the Guidance Center’s mission to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families, was a record-breaker, raising more than $87,000.
The luncheon, which took place at Glen Head Country Club, began with a morning round of Mahjong, Canasta and Bridge, along with unique shopping boutiques from some of Long Island’s trendiest and most charitable small business owners, including Buy the Bag, Club & Country, Dash, I Thrive, Transitions and RFC Fine Jewelry, among others.
After a delicious luncheon buffet, Vanessa McMullen, who is the supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right From The Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset and also head of the agency’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, introduced the day’s speaker, former client Katherine. The audience was completely engrossed as Katherine shared her experience with postpartum depression and talked about the lifesaving treatment she received at the Guidance Center.
She told the crowd, “I was desperately seeking someone who could tell me that I could get through this and convince me that it would get better. When I was finally connected with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, my life and my daughter’s life were changed forever. The Guidance Center has not only given me back my life, it has given my family a future.”
“Katherine’s story was incredibly moving,” said Nancy Lane, who is the Guidance Center board president. “When she spoke about the dedication of the Guidance Center staff to both her and her family, I was incredibly proud. Our dedicated team of professionals gives their all to bring hope and healing to each and every client.”
The luncheon couldn’t have been so successful without the hard work of the co-chairs, Jan Ashley, Amy Cantor and Alexis Siegel.
“The enormous success of this year’s event is largely due to the incredible dedication of our three co-chairs,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center. “They have put so much time and energy into the luncheon for several years, and we are truly grateful to them for continuing to make each year more special than the last.”
—Submitted by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Roslyn Heights, NY, May 1, 2019 —North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be holding its 23rd annual Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic on Monday, June 3, 2019, at the North Hempstead Country Club in Port Washington, one of the region’s premier courses!
Co-chairs Mike Mondiello, Michael Schnepper and Troy Slade are once again working together to create a stellar event filled with friendly competition, delicious dining and wonderful auction prizes. This year, the event is celebrating the dedicated mental health professionals at the Guidance Center— the people who are at the heart of the many success stories of moving families from hurting to healing.
From Left to Right: Troy Slade, Mike Mondiello, Dan Donnelly and Michael Schnepper
“The reason the Guidance Center changes so many lives for the better is because the staff is composed of caring, compassionate and highly trained individuals,” said Slade, who is a member of the Board of Directors. “I’m thrilled that we are celebrating them at this year’s Krevat Cup.”
“This is going to be a phenomenal event,” said Mondiello, also a member of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors. “The North Hempstead Country is a beautiful course, and we are excited to hold the Krevat Cup at this elegant location for the first time!”
Established on Long Island’s beautiful and serene Gold Coast in 1916, the North Hempstead Country Club features a tree-lined, superiorly manicured golf course designed by renowned architect A. W. Tillinghast, one of the most creative and productive golf course designers ever.
In addition to golf, the event will feature round robin tennis (for the non-golfers among the attendees), a delicious brunch and a gourmet dinner after the day’s games conclude. It will also feature a silent and live auction, with prizes ranging from club seats for a Yankee game to exciting vacation packages and much more.
Dan Donnelly, one of the Guidance Center’s most ardent supporters, as well as a former Krevat Cup honoree, will be serving again as the emcee and auctioneer. “I’m so pleased that this year’s event is celebrating the Guidance Center’s amazing staff,” says Donnelly. “The people working here are such caring souls who are truly devoted to saving lives.”
Left to right: Michael Mullman, Ed Geller, Jeff Krevat and Peter Braverman
The other auctioneer for the evening portion of the event is Andrew Marcell, a Guidance Center Board Member. “The Krevat Cup is one of the most enjoyable events of the season,” Marcell said. “It’s a win-win: Everyone has a terrific time while supporting the lifesaving mission of the Guidance Center.”
Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center, said, “The event is crucial to our fundraising efforts, and will help us continue to help thousands of children each year who are struggling with issues such as bullying, depression, anxiety and substance abuse.”
Thank you to Fifth Avenue of LI Realty/Americana Manhasset, which has signed on as a Diamond Sponsor.
For those interested in joining a team, attending the dinner, becoming a sponsor or placing a journal ad, it’s not too late! Contact Patrick Madden, pmadden@northshorechildguidance.org, (516) 626-1971, ext. 309.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is the preeminent nonprofit, children’s mental health agency on Long Island, dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth to age 24) and their families. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all regardless of their ability to pay.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Board members and supporters of the Guidance Center’s lifesaving mission had a wonderful time at this year’s Spring Luncheon.
A sellout crowd of 245 people joined together on Wednesday, April 17 for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Annual Spring Luncheon. This year’s event, which supports the Guidance Center’s mission to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families, was a record-breaker, raising more than $87,000.
The luncheon, which took place at Glen Head Country Club, began with a morning round of mahjong, canasta and bridge, along with unique shopping boutiques from some of Long Island’s trendiest and most charitable small business owners, including Buy the Bag, Club & Country, Dash, I Thrive, Transitions and RFC Fine Jewelry, among others.
After a luncheon buffet, Vanessa McMullen, supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right From The Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset and also head of the agency’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, introduced the day’s speaker, former client Katherine. The audience was completely engrossed as Katherine shared her experience with postpartum depression and talked about the lifesaving treatment she received at the Guidance Center.
She told the crowd, “I was desperately seeking someone who could tell me that I could get through this and convince me that it would get better. When I was finally connected with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, my life and my daughter’s life were changed forever… The Guidance Center has not only given me back my life, it has given my family a future.”
“Katherine’s story was incredibly moving,” said Nancy Lane, Guidance Center board president. “When she spoke about the dedication of the Guidance Center staff to both her and her family, I was incredibly proud. Our dedicated team of professionals gives their all to bring hope and healing to each and every client.”
The luncheon couldn’t have been so successful without the hard work of the co-chairs, Jan Ashley, Amy Cantor and Alexis Siegel.
“The enormous success of this year’s event is largely due to the incredible dedication of our three co-chairs,” said Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center. “They have put so much time and energy into the luncheon for several years, and we are truly grateful to them for continuing to make each year more special than the last.”
The Guidance Center is also grateful for the support of its sponsors. They are: Adelphi University, Baxter Smith & Shapiro PC, Amy Cantor, Ruth Fortunoff Cooper, Fara Copell, Linda Cronin, Julie Epstein, Fifth Avenue of LI Realty/Americana Manhasset, Joan & Jeffrey Grant, Janni and Associates/FNA, Deborah Klein, Rosemarie Klipper, Tracey Kupferberg/CBR, NYU Winthrop Women’s and Children’s Services, Raich Ende Malter & Co. LLP, Alexis Siegel, Signature Bank, Ruth & Michael Slade, South Oaks and Zucker Hillside Hospitals — Northwell Health and Carol Wolowitz.
Roslyn Heights, NY, April 22, 2019— A sellout crowd of 245 people joined together on Wednesday, April 17, 2019, for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Annual Spring Luncheon. This year’s event, which supportsthe Guidance Center’s mission to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families, was a record-breaker, raising more than $87,000.
The luncheon, which took place at Glen Head Country Club, began with a morning round of Mahjong, Canasta and Bridge, along with unique shopping boutiques from some of Long Island’s trendiest and most charitable small business owners, including Buy the Bag, Club & Country, Dash, I Thrive, Transitions and RFC Fine Jewelry, among others.
After a delicious luncheon buffet, Vanessa McMullen, Supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right From The Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset and also head of the agency’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, introduced the day’s speaker, former client Katherine. The audience was completely engrossed as Katherine shared her experience with postpartum depression and talked about the lifesaving treatment she received at the Guidance Center.
She told the crowd, “I was desperately seeking someone who could tell me that I could get through this and convince me that it would get better. When I was finally connected with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, my life and my daughter’s life were changed forever. … The Guidance Center has not only given me back my life, it has given my family a future.”
“Katherine’s story was incredibly moving,” said Nancy Lane, Guidance Center Board President. “When she spoke about the dedication of the Guidance Center staff to both her and her family, I was incredibly proud. Our dedicated team of professionals gives their all to bring hope and healing to each and every client.”
The luncheon couldn’t have been so successful without the hard work of the co-chairs, Jan Ashley, Amy Cantor and Alexis Siegel. “The enormous success of this year’s event is largely due to the incredible dedication of our three co-chairs,” said Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center. “They have put so much time and energy into the luncheon for several years, and we are truly grateful to them for continuing to make each year more special than the last.”
The Guidance Center is also grateful for the support of its sponsors. They are: Adelphi University, Baxter Smith & Shapiro PC, Amy Cantor, Ruth Fortunoff Cooper, Fara Copell, Linda Cronin, Julie Epstein, Fifth Avenue of LI Realty/Americana Manhasset, Joan & Jeffrey Grant, Janni and Associates/FNA, Deborah Klein, Rosemarie Klipper, Tracey Kupferberg/CBR, NYU Winthrop Women’s and Children’s Services, Raich Ende Malter & Co. LLP, Alexis Siegel, Signature Bank, Ruth & Michael Slade, South Oaks and Zucker Hillside Hospitals – Northwell Health and Carol Wolowitz.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
In the modern world we live in, in the richest country in the world and in one of the wealthiest areas of that country, you’d think that Nassau County’s expectant and new mothers, along with their babies, would get the best care in the world.
You’d be wrong — especially when it comes to black women and their babies.
Dr. Martine Hackett, associate professor at Hofstra University’s School of Health Professions and Human Services, has compiled data from the New York State Department of Health that shows dramatically disparate outcomes for black mothers and babies compared with their white counterparts in Nassau County.
Hackett points to the startling differences between the infant mortality rates in contiguous communities in Nassau. (Infant mortality refers to the death of children before their first birthday.) For example, in Roosevelt there were 8.8 infant deaths per 1,000 births from 2014 to 2016, while neighboring Merrick had a rate of 1 death per 1,000 births. For all of Nassau County, regardless of economic status, the black infant mortality rate is more than four times that of the rate among whites — and even higher than the black infant mortality rate in New York City.
What needs to happen for change to occur in Nassau County, according to Hackett, is the following: 1) inform women after childbirth of warning signs for hemorrhage, embolism or infection; 2) enhance service integration for women and infants; and 3) treat women of color with dignity, respect and culturally relevant care.
Studies show that structural racism is a major factor in disparate infant mortality rates. There is unconscious bias among clinical staff, which negatively perceives black women’s pain before, during and after pregnancy. Even Serena Williams, hardly your average mom, experienced the denial of her concerns by medical professionals during and after the birth of her baby, and it almost led to her death.
Another factor is at work. On a recent NPR broadcast, Tasha Green Cruzat, president of Voices for Illinois Children, cited a study that concluded, “The accumulation of experiences of the African American woman, the racial discrimination that she experiences, produces chronic stress and brings on problems that constitute risk factors for pre-term delivery.”
In March 2018, Hackett and Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, of the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, announced the launch of Birth Justice Warriors, an initiative to train birth advocates to decrease birth inequities. Since the launch, 22 Warriors have been trained. The organizational partners — the Child & Family Guidance Center, Planned Parenthood Nassau County, the March of Dimes, Hofstra’s National Center for Suburban Studies and the Long Island Community Foundation — have provided support and guidance from the beginning, according to Hackett. “Over the past year I have met many strong advocates for black mothers and infants in Nassau County who acknowledge the challenges we face,” she said. “The positive response to Birth Justice Warriors from communities of color tells me that we have tapped into a growing movement for birth equity.”
As the initiative begins its second year, efforts will continue to make injustice visible and raise awareness of black maternal and infant mortality in Nassau by educating medical staff, holding “conversation cafes” with women, partnering with prenatal sites in the county, creating video stories that share the pregnancy and birthing experiences of black women in the county, and making legislative visits to advocate for policy changes to improve birth outcomes.
What can you do? Clearly, there is never a good reason to disrespect someone based on race, sexual orientation, religion — for any reason. But if you are an employer, colleague, physician or neighbor, it is important to understand that a pregnant woman who is disrespected in the workplace or community can develop chronic stress that can lead to miscarriage or the death of an infant. This is disproportionately the experience of pregnant women of color, and it is our moral obligation to remedy this injustice.
Joining up to be a Birth Justice Warrior project is one big way you can make a difference. But whatever you choose to do, awareness, respect and kindness are a great place to start.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children and their families, including support for pregnant and parenting teens and their babies. For more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
