Nonprofits on Long Island say they are offering affordable mental health therapy for teens and young children — without long waiting lists — as the region faces a shortage of psychologists serving those age groups.
Many families in Nassau and Suffolk counties have grown frustrated trying to find private therapists, who often don’t take insurance and have waiting lists months long — or no available appointments at all.
The nonprofits are encouraging parents to contact them at a time when depression, anxiety and suicide rates among young people are rising due to a confluence of factors including isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic and heavy social media use.
“Right now, we have capacity to take on cases,” said Kathy Rivera, executive director and CEO of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, with offices in Manhasset, Roslyn Heights and Westbury.
“We turn no one away for any inability to pay,” she said. “We are grassroots, and we are committed to equity in mental health regardless of what your ZIP code is, what your bank account looks like. Everyone deserves to have access to care.”
The agency has 50 therapists on staff, along with other workers and a department that deals solely with insurance companies, she said.
Nonprofits such as North Shore said they can help fill a gap as families struggle to find therapists for their children. Some parents are taking their kids to private therapist appointments during school hours — the only time slots available — while others are getting saddled with thousands of dollars in bills because their therapists don’t take insurance, experts said.
Meanwhile, the number of people between the ages of 12 and 17 nationwide who experienced at least one major depressive episode increased by 306,000, or 1.4%, year-over-year, according to an October 2021 report from the Mental Health America nonprofit. At the same time, nearly 61% of New York youths with major depressive episodes did not receive treatment, the report said.
Finding trusted therapists
Adrienne LoPresti, executive director of YES Community Counseling Center in Massapequa, said her nonprofit also generally has capacity to provide therapists for young people in a timely manner.
“There is a comprehensive system of care for youth and families, which includes YES, that provides affordable services regardless of income and health insurance status,” LoPresti said. “Unfortunately, many community members are unaware of these networks and resources.”
LoPresti cautioned that families should make sure they connect with reputable agencies, since there is a proliferation of people offering “telehealth” appointments who are not always qualified.
“It’s important to find access to a vetted mental health provider you trust in your community,” she said. Local schools, ones that have their own psychologists and social workers, can help identify reputable therapists, she added.
While telehealth services offer some advantages, “it is often the financial gains rather than quality care” that is the priority, she said. In-person counseling is generally more effective than on-screen, she added.
Besides YES and North Shore, agencies families can contact to help find a community-based therapist include the Nassau County Helpline, at 516-227-TALK (or 8255), and the Long Island Crisis Center‘s 24/7 hotline, at 516-679-1111, LoPresti and Rivera said.
Central Nassau Guidance and Counseling Services based in Hicksville also has therapists available, and works with families on a sliding scale if they have financial difficulties, CEO Jeffrey Friedman said.
Adapting to diversity
Some agencies are seeking to adapt to Long Island’s increasingly diverse population.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center has intake staff who speak fluent Spanish and other staff members who can translate Creole and Arabic, Rivera said.
Another agency, the Hispanic Counseling Center, with offices in Hempstead and Bay Shore, focuses on Latino children, youth and adults. Its Mental Health Clinic offers bilingual and bicultural mental health counseling, and refuses services to no one, CEO Claudia Boyle said.
In response to the growing demand, the group is boosting its efforts to hire more therapists, she said.
In Suffolk County, the nonprofit Rise Life Services in Riverhead opened a mental health clinic in November 2021 that includes treatment for children after it saw a growing demand for therapists for that age group, said Tracey Anderson, operations director of clinical services and behavioral health.
Their anticipation of “a high demand for mental health services for youth was certainly on point,” she said. “The demand is even higher than we expected. “
The nonprofit Family Service League, which works throughout Suffolk County, has seen the need for more therapists first hand and through its DASH hotline helps families connect with them, said Kathy Rosenthal, senior vice president at the group.
“We are finding youth with higher rates of anxiety, depression and other mental health challenges, and, tragically, an increase in young people attempting and dying by suicide, she said.
The number of teenage suicides her group responded to in Suffolk tripled between 2020 and 2021, going from four to 12, she said.
Families can contact FSL’s hotline DASH at 631-952-3333. They can also contact the Suffolk County Response Crisis Center at 631-751-7500 for help in finding a therapist.
Groups representing private therapists said families should not give up on seeking their help. The Suffolk County Psychological Association‘s website allows families to plug in their hometowns, insurance and other information to try to match them with a therapist, said Ann Eckardt Erlanger, past president of the group. The Nassau County Psychological Association has a similar website mechanism.
Rivera also said families should keep trying to get their children help, despite the obstacles.
“There is hope and an opportunity for healing,” she said.
WHAT TO KNOW
Families in Nassau and Suffolk say they have become frustrated while seeking private therapists who often won’t take insurance and have wait-lists or no available appointments.
Long Island nonprofits say they offer affordable mental health therapy for teens and young children — without long wait-lists.
The nonprofits are encouraging parents to contact them at a time when depression, anxiety and suicide rates among young people have climbed because of the pandemic and heavy social media use.
Thank you for highlighting the crisis in access to mental health services among our youth as rates of depression, anxiety and suicidal thinking are at all-time highs in your cover story of December 27, 2022.
While the pandemic has exacerbated the struggles of children and teens, the difficulty in finding timely and affordable quality mental health care isn’t new. In 2017, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center conducted extensive research, spotlighted in our Project Access report, shining a light on the longstanding problem and advocating for strategies to effect change.
Throughout our 70-year history, we have been providing mental health services to the children and families of Nassau County within just days of receiving their call, and no one is ever turned away for inability to pay. Kids in crisis can’t wait weeks or months for help.
Kathy Rivera
Executive Director/CEO
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Roslyn Heights, NY
The holidays are here, and it’s not uncommon for people of all ages, including children, to pack on extra pounds. The sugary treats and heavy meals are abundant, and many kids tend to be less active during the colder weather.
But regardless of the season, it’s always a good time to talk to your kids about healthy eating—especially with many adults and children alike having put on weight from stress eating and inactivity due to the pandemic.
Sadly, being significantly overweight is common. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the percentage of children and adolescents affected by obesity has more than tripled since the 1970s. Today, nearly 1 in 5 school age U.S. children and young people (6 to 19 years) is considered obese. When you factor in those who are considered overweight but not yet obese, the figure rises to 31%.
Why the dramatic increase? Behavior and habits are the most likely factors, with technology playing a big role. Many families have become sedentary, with TV, computers and videogames as the culprits. And it’s not just the kids; parents, too, are often modeling these behaviors.
Of course, shaming a child for being overweight is never appropriate. From a very early age, parents should nurture a positive body image with their kids, focusing on their bodies as the miracles they are! But if your child’s or teen’s weight has become a health concern, you can address it in a loving, non-critical way.
Approach the issue as a family topic rather than focusing on an individual child. The message should be that we all need to eat more healthy foods like fruit, vegetables and lean proteins and less fatty, fried or sugary foods so we feel better and have more energy. You don’t want to make your child feel badly about themselves, so focusing on healthy eating and activity rather than appearance is extremely important.
Here are some guidelines when broaching the subject of weight with your children, as per recommendations from The Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics:
Foster open dialogue. Encourage your kids to share their thoughts and feelings about body image. When children discuss feelings about weight, be sure to listen and acknowledge that the feelings are real. Explain that people come in all different shapes and sizes, and you love your child no matter what.
Don’t make negative comments. Judging your own body or your child’s can result in lasting detrimental effects to your child’s body image and relationship with food. Set a good example for children in the way you talk about your own body as well as others.
Take action. Children learn fast, and they learn best by example. Teach children habits that will help keep them healthy for life. Make it easy for kids to eat smart and move often. Look for ways to spend fun, active time together.
Avoid the blame game. Never yell, scream, bribe, threaten or punish children about weight, food or physical activity. If you turn these issues into parent-child battlegrounds, the results can be harmful. Shame, blame and anger are setups for failure.
Talk with your healthcare provider. If a health professional mentions a concern about your child’s weight, speak with the professional privately. Discuss specific concerns and ask for suggestions on making positive changes in your family’s eating habits and activity levels.
Seek advice. Look for a registered dietitian with a specialty in pediatric weight management. Many hospitals and clinics have comprehensive programs with education and activities for both kids and adult family members. Some of these options may be covered by your health insurance plan.
An important final note: If you are among the Long Islanders whose financial issues make it difficult to access healthy, fresh foods, don’t despair. Community Solidarity shares nutritious food to those in need, with 50% of that being fresh produce. To find out more, visit communitysolidarity.org.
Dr. Sue Cohen is the Director of Director of Clinical Services at Right from the Start at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, the leading children’s mental health agency on Long Island. Learn more at www.northshorechildguidance.org.
On November 18, 2022, Guidance Center Executive Director/CEO Kathy Rivera and Associate Executive Director Jennifer Rush were the guests on this podcast that informs listeners about the amazing contributions and happenings of Long Island’s non-profit community. Thank you Tommy DiMisa for shedding light on the important work of the Guidance Center to combat the epidemic of mental health challenges in our youth.
Roslyn Heights, NY, December 12, 2022 —When a child faces a mental health challenge, the entire family is impacted. But while people may sympathize with parents and siblings, they often forget that grandparents also struggle with feelings of sadness and helplessness.
That’s why North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center (the Guidance Center) runs a free support group just for grandparents whose grandchildren are on the autism spectrum: GASAK, for Grandparent Advocates Supporting Autistic Kids.
GASAK’s mission is to support, inform and advocate for grandparents with autistic grandchildren. At meetings held on the last Thursday of each month, GASAK participants network and share information on issues critical to families impacted by autism. New members are welcome to join at any time.
While the program isn’t new, it recently returned to in-person meetings at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset after being virtual since the start of the pandemic.
While there are many programs for parents of autistic children, few if any address the specific issues that come up for grandparents, said Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Clinical Services at Right from the Start. “Sometimes the parents are overwhelmed dealing with their children’s needs,” she said. “At GASAK meetings, grandparents can share their own concerns with their peers.”
One GASAK member said, “A lot of times your friends can’t relate to what you’re going through, but when you walk into the GASAK group, you feel comfortable instantly. Nobody judges you.”
The program occasionally features guest speakers, including education lawyers, social workers, special education advocates and others. “When a grandparent leaves a meeting,” said Cohen, “they walk away with information that can make a huge difference in the lives of their children and grandchildren.”
But the camaraderie members experience is perhaps the most important benefit of the group. Case in point: one grandmother who has two autistic grandsons who were nonverbal until they were three years old. When one of them said “Mom” for the first time, the GASAK group celebrated her good news. “There is such compassion among members,” she said. “And by sharing our worries as well as our joyful moments, we give new members hope.”
In addition, the Guidance Center provides a variety of therapeutic services for children on the autism spectrum, as well as their parents and other family members. They also provide testing for preschool-age children to young adults.
To learn more about the GASAK group and all the Guidance Center’s services, contact Cohen at 516-484-3174 or email scohen@northshorechildguidance.org.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
If you are struggling to access mental health services on Long Island, you’re not alone. Even those with health insurance face challenges when trying to access care. That’s according to the findings in the latest Mount Sinai South Nassau “Truth in Medicine” poll, released Tuesday.
“We have a crisis on Long Island when it comes to the lack of mental health services,” Dr. Adhi Sharma, president of Mount Sinai South Nassau, said in a statement about the findings. Sponsored by Bethpage Credit Union, the poll was conducted between July 24 and July 28 via landlines and cell phones with 600 Long Islanders.
The findings have a margin of era of plus or minus 3.9%. People seek mental health services for a host of reasons. But since the pandemic, anxiety, depression, social isolation and fear of contracting COVID-19 were the most prevalent, according to the poll. Among those surveyed, 92% have health insurance. Still, of those seeking care, 36% said that getting the help they wanted or needed was “challenging” mostly because of difficulty scheduling capacity or lack of coverage by their health insurers.
Additional challenges include proximity of providers and affordability. And institutions – including government, municipalities and schools – could do more to increase the scope of mental health services in the region, survey respondents said. Of those surveyed, 46% said government does not do enough to help, while 32% said government does.
“The poll results strongly indicate that providers are working at or beyond capacity,” Sharma said. “This calls for an aggressive expansion of mental health screening, prevention and intervention services to meet the present and future demand for them.”
Since the pandemic, about 84% of mental health providers have seen an increase in demand for treatment of anxiety, compared with 74% a year ago, while 72% of providers have seen an increase in demand for treatment of depression, compared with 60% in 2020. School officials have reported spikes in demand for mental health services among students, including elementary and middle-schoolers, according to Mount Sinai South Nassau.
Meanwhile, some psychiatrists and psychologists report high demand for services but difficulty finding adequate staff to meet demand. Some local school leaders have called on government officials to do more to address mental health needs in the schools and local communities. In the event of a mental health emergency, 64% of respondents and 80% of respondents with children said they know where to find services, while 20% disagreed, and 17% were unsure.
Mount Sinai South Nassau has a 36-bed inpatient mental health unit and offers behavioral health services at its Mental Health Counseling Center in Baldwin, as well as its Center for Primary and Behavioral Healthcare in Hempstead. And across Long Island, health systems do offer mental health services, including NYU Langone Hospital Long Island, Stony Brook Medicine, Catholic Health and Northwell Health, which now features several pediatric behavioral health urgent care centers.
Other organizations that provide mental health services or access to support include North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center as well as Family & Children’s Association and Family Service League, among others.
Meanwhile, the recent Truth in Medicine poll found a mixed response as to whether the region’s mental health services are adequate. In the survey, 36% said they are satisfactory, 29% said they are not and 35% were unsure. About 50% who used mental health services said they suffice.
“The stressors of modern life are challenging for most of us and have been made that much harder by the duration of the COVID-19 pandemic and the hardship and grief that it has caused,” Dr. Aaron Glatt, Chief of Infectious Diseases at Mount Sinai South Nassau, said in the statement. “There are actions that we can take to live confidently and safely during the pandemic. If you or someone you love is struggling emotionally and that is interfering with daily life, don’t wait to get help,” Glatt said.
A full 89% of respondents and 97% of those who have used mental health services since the start of the pandemic say mental healthcare should be a priority for hospitals, just as cancer and heart health are.
While the rate of children and teenagers receiving therapy for mental health issues related to stress, anxiety, bullying, or substance abuse has increased, it was exacerbated by COVID-19. In the past year, 15% with young children and 20% with a child under 12 sought professional help for a child’s mental health, the poll found.
Recognizing that many children with psychiatric disorders remain unidentified and untreated, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently issued a recommendation calling for anxiety screening of asymptomatic children ages eight to 18 who have not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and screening of children ages 12 to 18 for major depressive disorder. Of those who accessed mental health care for a child, 25% say it was in person, 21% say they used telemedicine, and 43% used both.
Among those who used telemedicine, most rate it as only fair. Those who did not use telemedicine expressed little interest in doing so in the future. “The key to knowing when to seek out help is to determine how the symptoms are affecting overall functioning,” Dr. Stanley Reddy, chair of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Mount Sinai South Nassau, said in a statement. “Marked decreases in functioning at work, school, and home should be evaluated by a professional promptly before it becomes an emergency.”
In this monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email communications@northshorechildguidance.org.
Question: My son is begging my wife and me to get him a dog for the holidays. We both grew up having dogs in our homes and found it to be very rewarding. But we also know that it’s a lot of work and takes a big commitment to care for a pet – especially a dog! We are inclined to say yes, especially since the pandemic left him feeling pretty low, and we hope this will lift his spirits. Plus, he promises he’ll take on the bulk of the responsibility. What do you think we should do? — Pet Parenting Puzzle
Dear Anxious Parents: You are wise to take this decision very seriously. Dogs, as well as other pets, do require a lot of care, and if you are lucky, they will be part of your family for many years to come.
You’re also right in realizing that pets can offer many mental health benefits for kids. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, developing loving feelings about pets can contribute to a child’s self-confidence. Positive relationships with pets can aid in the development of trusting relationships with others. And a good relationship with a pet can help in developing non-verbal communication, compassion and empathy.
Some other benefits: Having pets leads to an increase in physical activity; reduces stress; provides companionship and social support; and fosters a connection with the natural world.
Pets provide unconditional love, which is important for every child, but especially helpful for kids who are having difficulties with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. In fact, research indicates that children with pets tend to have higher levels of self-worth compared to those who don’t have animals. They can also help children with issues such as shyness and autism with their social skills.
All kids, whether or not they have mental health challenges, benefit from their relationships with animals, but if you are considering bringing a pet into your family, here are some factors to consider:
Kids will promise the moon and stars to get a pet, but as the adult, you are likely to be the one who does most of the caretaking, so make sure you are ready for the responsibility.
Take finances into consideration. Caring for pets can be an expensive proposition, with estimates running from $500 to well over $1,000 each year.
Do you have little ones in the house? Children under three or four need to be supervised with pets at all times, since they may be impulsive and risk harming the pet or themselves.
When choosing a pet, do your research. The pet should be a good match for your lifestyle. For example, if you live in an apartment, you might want to avoid getting a highly active dog. But if you have a fenced-in yard and enjoy tossing the ball around, an energetic pup may be the right fit.
Are you out of the house for a large part of the day? Pets require care and love, so if you and your family aren’t home most of the time, a dog or even a cat might not be the right pet for you.
Do your kids have asthma or other allergies? Despite the hype, there really are no allergy-free cats or dogs—but there are some breeds that are less allergenic than others. Ask your vet for suggestions.
Adopting from a shelter is a great way to save the life of an animal. If you decide that you want a specific breed or your heart is set on the type of dog you had as a kid, consider a rescue or shelter pet. Either way, always make sure you speak with the shelter or breeder about the individual history and personality of your prospective pet. Everything is not always apparent when a fury creature is first introduced at a visit.
Whatever you decide, we wish you and your family a happy and healthy holiday!
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, Long Island’s leading children’s mental health organization, is seeing clients both remotely via telehealth platforms and in person, depending on the clients’ needs. No one is ever turned away for inability to pay. To make an appointment, call 516-626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org.
Roslyn Heights, NY, October 24, 2022 — Two years ago, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, Long Island’s premiere children’s mental health agency, launched one of its most important programs ever: the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project, named in honor of the son of Ellen Feldman and Donald Feldman.
On October 19, 2022, the Guidance Center welcomed the Feldmans, their son Matthew and other guests to its Roslyn Heights headquarters for the unveiling of the Butterfly Wall, which features brass butterfly plaques recognizing donors to this lifesaving initiative.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24, with more teenagers and young adults dying from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and lung disease combined.
With the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project, the Guidance Center addresses high-risk cases with a thorough evaluation for suicide risk; multiple weekly sessions of individual, group and family therapy; and a culturally sensitive treatment plan that focuses on safety strategies, healthy coping skills and relapse prevention. Evaluation with a psychiatrist regarding the possible use of medication is also provided, along with in-home treatment and referrals to programs and services that will support parents’ efforts to protect their children.
“Suicide among young people is truly an epidemic,” said Elissa Smilowitz, Director of Emergency, Triage & Suicide Prevention Services at the Guidance Center. “The Feldman’s generous gift has allowed us to make a real difference in the lives of so many young people.”
Ellen Feldman says the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project has been instrumental in the journey her family has been on since the loss of her beloved son.
“Very soon after Doug died, Donald and I knew we wanted to do something that would prevent this tragedy from happening to other families,” she said. “I grew up in this community and raised my children here, so having the Guidance Center as the beneficiary of our donation to help young people who are struggling with suicidal thoughts made perfect sense.”
“I’m so proud of the work being done by the Guidance Center,” she added. “They are truly saving lives, and I can’t imagine a better way to honor our son.”
If you know a young person who may be at risk for suicide, contact the Guidance Center at 516-626-1971. The organization promises to see high-risk cases within 24 to 48 hours. For immediate help in a crisis, call 988, the new suicide hotline. To learn more about supporting the Douglas S. Feldman Suicide Prevention Project, contact Lauren McGowan at 516-626-1971, ext. 320.
Photo Caption: Daniel Oliver, Rosemarie Klipper, Rita Castagna, Donald Feldman, Matthew Feldman, Ellen Feldman, Kathy Rivera and Jennifer Rush
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
On September 16, 2022, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center welcomed 11 employees from National Grid to its Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center as part of the utility’s volunteer day of service, called Project C.
The volunteers spent the entire day planting, painting, repairing and whole-heartedly doing whatever needed to be done to spruce up the Nature Nursery at the Right from the Start Center, which had been left largely unattended during the pandemic.
“We are so grateful to all the National Grid volunteers for working so hard and with such great spirits to beautify our Nature Nursery and surrounding areas,” said Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of the Right from the Start Center, where the Guidance Center serves its youngest clients and their families. “The Nancy Marks Nature Nursery continues to provide our young children and their parents with an opportunity to enjoy their natural environment using exploratory, hands-on stations and activities, such as musical instruments, water, paints and graduated steps. Having a creative outdoor space to use during therapy and group sessions allows our therapists to engage children in a different way. The youngsters who have experienced this area love all that is has to offer and look forward to regularly returning.”
National Grid’s Alexandra Paoli, who was in charge of the project at the Guidance Center site, worked side by side with her mother, Michele Paoli, who has worked at the utility for 25 years. “Thousands of National Grid employees volunteer on this ‘Day of Service,’ which takes place at locations all across Long Island, upstate New York and New York City,” said Alexandra, a recent graduate of Penn State University and Associate Analyst, Community Customer Engagement. “My mother knew about the great work done at the Guidance Center, so when she suggested it be one of the sites of our statewide volunteer initiative, it was a natural choice.”
Therese Sullivan, National Grid’s Director of Operations Enablement, has participated in both Project C Day of Service events. “I was glad to volunteer for the Guidance Center because mental health is so important, especially helping children at an early age,” she said. “It is a great resource for families, and I’m proud that our company supports these efforts.”
If your company would like to discuss opportunities to volunteer at the Guidance Center or support our mission in other ways, contact Lauren McGowan at LMcGowan@northshorechildguidance.org or call her at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
Roslyn Heights, NY, October 4, 2022 — Family court hearings are often contentious, and they are certainly no place for young ears. Luckily, with the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court, parents and guardians have a safe place to bring children from infants to 12-year-olds while they are conducting court business.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which runs this important program, is holding a fundraiser to support the Children’s Center at Nassau County Court on Thursday, October 27, 2022. The event will be held at Tesoro’s Ristorante, 967 Old Country Road, Westbury, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., and will feature cocktails, music and a buffet dinner.
“The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a valuable service because it allows children to be insulated from the stress involved in the horror of family court litigation,” said John M. Zenir, Esq., co-chair of the fundraiser. “Just imagine a six-year-old sitting in a public waiting room outside of a courtroom not knowing what is happening. What fear and dread that child must feel! Instead, he or she can go to the Children’s Center and play with toys, read a book and have a snack while being attended to by qualified professionals.”
According to co-chair Allison Cacace, children can be traumatized if they hear their loved ones arguing in court. “The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a safe, nurturing environment for children while their parents or other caretakers sort out their legal affairs,” said Cacace, Director of Tobay Day School and owner of Casino One Limousines. “It is extremely important that we raise awareness and funds for this invaluable service that makes a positive impact on children and is also greatly beneficial to those who can’t afford to pay for childcare during court sessions.”
“The mission of the Women’s Bar includes promoting the fair and equal administration of justice,” said Cherice P. Vanderhall Wilson, President of the Nassau County Women’s Bar Association, which is co-hosting the benefit. “The Children’s Center eliminates childcare as a barrier to justice and provides a resource for those who need it while they seek assistance from one the County’s most important courts.”
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place, said, “The Children’s Center not only provides childcare, but it’s also an early learning environment, and each child leaves with a book to take home. We are so grateful to John, Allison and the Nassau County Women’s Bar
Association for their dedication and support. We hope that all who care about children will join us on October 27th!”
Caption: The Children’s Center provides a safe, nurturing environment for children while their parents are in court.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
In this monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email communications@northshorechildguidance.org.
Question: Now that life has gotten back to some semblance of normal, my kids (ages 4, 9 and 11) are eager to go trick-or-treating this year. I’m thrilled for them, but the problem is that my little one is absolutely terrified of scary costumes.
As much as he wants to enjoy Halloween activities like his big brother and sister, he’s so frightened that I’m not sure we can take him out. He’s even said he doesn’t want to go to school that day. Any suggestions?
–Costume Conundrum
Dear Costume Conundrum: Halloween is one of the most exciting holidays of the year for youngsters. Candy, dressing up, parties at school—what’s not to love?
But your little one isn’t alone in his fear. For children around three to five years of age, and sometimes even older, the ghoulish costumes and yard displays can be overwhelming and very scary. But be assured, that’s a natural part of their development.
Luckily, most preschools and even elementary schools advise parents to avoid the scary kinds of costumes, so the schools themselves are typically safe zones. But once your son heads out to trick-or-treat, he’s likely to confront some frightening sights.
Of course, you know your son, so you’re the best judge of how scared he is likely to be. But as with all parenting issues, preparing ahead of time and anticipating any problems is the wisest strategy. Some tips:
Let your son express his fears and reassure him in a calm voice that it’s OK to have those feelings.
Play a game where your child scares you, and then laugh about it.
Show him costumes online, so he’ll have an idea of what to expect.
Do some crafts at home that create ghosts and other Halloween décor. Explain that any scary lawn displays are made of fabric and paint, just like the crafts you made together.
Some children don’t like something like a mask covering their faces (even though they’ve had to deal with a different kind of mask for some time), so you might want to avoid costumes with masks.
If he is frightened by costume masks on other people, put one on yourself and take it off to show him that you are still there!
If your older kids are wearing potentially scary costumes, let your young one watch as they put on their makeup or masks, so he can gradually see how his big brother and sister transformed into the witch or warlock—and that it’s still them under the disguise.
Make a visit to your local library and ask the librarian for books that help children see that Halloween is full of pretend things—some scary and lots of them just plain fun! One great choice: The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything.
If your son loves his costume but when Halloween arrives, his mood changes and he refuses to wear it, try a compromise. Let him bring the costume to school instead of putting it on before he goes, or have him just wear part of the outfit. It’s definitely not something worth having a power struggle over, so if he refuses to wear it, let it go. It’s a perfect case of knowing when to pick your battles.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, Long Island’s leading children’s mental health agency, is seeing clients both remotely via telehealth platforms and in person, depending on the clients’ needs. To make an appointment, call 516-626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org.
A benefit for the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court is set for Thursday, Oct. 27, from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at Tesoro’s Ristorante in Westbury.
The center serves as a safe place to bring children, from infants to 12 years old, while parents conduct court business, which can often be contentious and even traumatizing for kids.
But the center, which is run by North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, helps kids avoid those kinds of experiences.
“The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a valuable service because it allows children to be insulated from the stress involved in the horror of family court litigation,” John Zenir, co-chair of the fundraiser said in a statement.
“Just imagine a six-year-old sitting in a public waiting room outside of a courtroom not knowing what is happening,” Zenir added. “What fear and dread that child must feel! Instead, he or she can go to the Children’s Center and play with toys, read a book and have a snack while being attended to by qualified professionals.”
“The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a safe, nurturing environment for children while their parents or other caretakers sort out their legal affairs,” Allison Cacace, co-chair of the event and director of Tobay Day School and owner of Casino One Limousines. “It is extremely important that we raise awareness and funds for this invaluable service that makes a positive impact on children and is also greatly beneficial to those who can’t afford to pay for childcare during court sessions.”
“The mission of the Women’s Bar includes promoting the fair and equal administration of justice,” said Cherice P. Vanderhall Wilson, President of the Nassau County Women’s Bar Association, which is co-hosting the benefit. “The Children’s Center eliminates childcare as a barrier to justice and provides a resource for those who need it while they seek assistance from one the County’s most important courts.”
Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, director of the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place, said that the Children’s Center” not only provides childcare, but it’s also an early learning environment, and each child leaves with a book to take home.”
With family court matters such as divorce proceedings and custody cases often very contentious, youngsters can be traumatized if they are in the courtroom. But many parents and guardians don’t have the luxury of leaving their children home.
That’s what makes the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court, a program of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, so important. At the Children’s Center, kids from 6 weeks to 12 years old are provided with free care in a nurturing and safe environment while adults are busy in court.
The Children’s Center, located at 1200 Old Country Rd #2, Westbury on the first floor of the Family Court building, is not a babysitting service but rather an early learning center. Every aspect of the Children’s Center promotes learning by which the children can explore new things in a safe, structured and professionally supervised setting.
The Children’s Center provides kids with a safe haven that gives them the opportunity to develop early learning skills through age-appropriate play and activities that are fun and exciting for toddlers and children up to age 12.
Earlier this summer, we were excited to announce that the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court had reopened after a two-year hiatus due to the pandemic. During that time, almost all court business was conducted virtually, but with more and more children and families returning to in-person court visits, our Children’s Center is a much-needed community resource.
How can you help? We are seeking volunteers at the Children’s Center. To volunteer, we request that you are:
16 years of age or older
Fully vaccinated against COVID-19
Able to work a minimum of four hours per week
Comfortable wearing a mask
Willing to complete a NY State background check, including fingerprinting
Able to lift children when necessary and have good mobility
Friendly and nurturing
Volunteering at the Children’s Center is a great way for high schoolers (16 and up) or college students who have an interest in children and education to gain experience. And it’s also a wonderful opportunity for anyone who loves kids to give back and make a difference for the youngsters and families in our community.
Another way to help support the Children’s Center is to attend the fundraiser we are having on October 27th at Tesoro’s Ristorante in Westbury. For ticket information, call 516-626-1971, ext. 309.
Bio: To learn more about volunteering at the Children’s Center, contact Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Leeds Place and head of the Children’s Center, at 516-997-2926, ext. 229, or email ntaylorwalthrust@northshorechildguidance.org.
As promised, the sunset was a stunner at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Sunset Soirée at the Manhasset Bay Yacht Club, held on Sept. 8. The event raised nearly a quarter million dollars to support the Guidance Center, Long Island’s premiere nonprofit children’s mental health organization.
The guests were thrilled at the smooth sounds of Grammy-winning saxophonist Kenny G, whose appearance at the Sunset Soirée was a birthday gift to longtime Guidance Center Board Member Andrea Leeds from her husband Michael and the rest of her family, all of whom were in attendance to celebrate the magical evening.
“It was an amazing experience to have our first in-person gala in three years graced by the incredible talents of Kenny G,“ said Andrea Leeds. Andrea and Michael Leeds, along with Nancy and Lew Lane, were proud to serve together as this year‘s co-chairs. “Everyone in the room, from my two young grandsons to the Guidance Center’s longtime supporters, were moved by the smooth, soulful sounds. “I’m so grateful to Kenny G for making the Sunset Soirée a spectacular night that will long be remembered.“
Former Guidance Center client Samantha Sutfin-Gray shared the story of her severe bout with postpartum depression, which impacts one in seven women.
“I can’t even imagine where I would be or how far my suffering would have taken me if I hadn’t sought treatment,“ she told the audience. “The Guidance Center helped me to see that there was a light at the end of a very dark tunnel, and they were with me every step of the way. For that, my family and I are eternally grateful.“
Guidance Center Executive Director/CEO Kathy Rivera told the guests, “In the year I have been at the helm of this wonderful organization, I’ve been so proud of the dedication of our team, from our frontline mental health care staff to our front-desk staff and everyone in between. The reason we have been able to bring hope and healing to the community for nearly 70 years is thanks to them, and to all of you who support our mission.”
Rivera also thanked the night’s emcee, Stacey Sager of Channel 7 Eyewitness News, and the sponsors of the Sunset Soirée: the Leeds Family; Maureen and John Ferrari; the Ike, Molly & Steven Elias Foundation; WABC-TV; Jane and Martin Schwartz; the Jack & Dorothy Kupferberg Foundation; Americana Manhasset; Klipper Family Foundation; Marilyn and Russell Albanese: and Cerity Partners.
On Sept. 16, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center was thrilled to welcome 11 employees from National Grid to its Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center as part of the utility’s volunteer day of service, called Project C.
The volunteers spent the entire day planting, painting, repairing and whole-heartedly doing whatever needed to be done to spruce up the Nature Nursery at the Right from the Start Center, which had been left largely unattended during the pandemic.
“We are so grateful to all the National Grid volunteers for working so hard and with such great spirits to beautify our Nature Nursery and surrounding areas,” said Dr. Sue Cohen, director of the Right from the Start Center, where the Guidance Center serves its youngest clients and their families. “The Nancy Marks Nature Nursery continues to provide our young children and their parents with an opportunity to enjoy their natural environment using exploratory, hands-on stations and activities, such as musical instruments, water, paints and graduated steps. Having a creative outdoor space to use during therapy and group sessions allows our therapists to engage children in a different way. The youngsters who have experienced this area love all that is has to offer and look forward to regularly returning.”
National Grid’s Alexandra Paoli, who was in charge of the project at the Guidance Center site, worked side by side with her mother, Michele Paoli, who has worked at the utility for 25 years. “Thousands of National Grid employees volunteer on this ‘Day of Service,’ which takes place at locations all across Long Island, upstate New York and New York City,” said Alexandra, a recent graduate of Penn State University and Associate Analyst, Community Customer Engagement. “My mother knew about the great work done at the Guidance Center, so when she suggested it be one of the sites of our statewide volunteer initiative, it was a natural choice.”
Therese Sullivan, National Grid’s director of operations enablement, has participated in both Project C Day of Service events. “I was glad to volunteer for the Guidance Center because mental health is so important, especially helping children at an early age,” she said. “It is a great resource for families, and I’m proud that our company supports these efforts.”
If your company would like to discuss opportunities to volunteer at the Guidance Center or support our mission in other ways, contact Lauren McGowan at LMcGowan@northshorechildguidance.org or call her at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
Volunteers spruce up Nature Nursery at children’s mental health organization
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 27, 2022 — On September 16, 2022, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center (the Guidance Center) was thrilled to welcome 11 employees from National Grid to its Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center as part of the utility’s volunteer day of service, called Project C.
The volunteers spent the entire day planting, painting, repairing and whole-heartedly doing whatever needed to be done to spruce up the Nature Nursery at the Right from the Start Center, which had been left largely unattended during the pandemic.
“We are so grateful to all the National Grid volunteers for working so hard and with such great spirits to beautify our Nature Nursery and surrounding areas,” said Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of the Right from the Start Center, where the Guidance Center serves its youngest clients and their families. “The Nancy Marks Nature Nursery continues to provide our young children and their parents with an opportunity to enjoy their natural environment using exploratory, hands-on stations and activities, such as musical instruments, water, paints and graduated steps. Having a creative outdoor space to use during therapy and group sessions allows our therapists to engage children in a different way. The youngsters who have experienced this area love all that is has to offer and look forward to regularly returning.”
National Grid’s Alexandra Paoli, who was in charge of the project at the Guidance Center site, worked side by side with her mother, Michele Paoli, who has worked at the utility for 25 years. “Thousands of National Grid employees volunteer on this ‘Day of Service,’ which takes place at locations all across Long Island, upstate New York and New York City,” said Alexandra, a recent graduate of Penn State University and Associate Analyst, Community Customer Engagement. “My mother knew about the great work done at the Guidance Center, so when she suggested it be one of the sites of our statewide volunteer initiative, it was a natural choice.”
Therese Sullivan, National Grid’s Director of Operations Enablement, has participated in both Project C Day of Service events. “I was glad to volunteer for the Guidance Center because mental health is so important, especially helping children at an early age,” she said. “It is a great resource for families, and I’m proud that our company supports these efforts.”
If your company would like to discuss opportunities to volunteer at the Guidance Center or support our mission in other ways, contact Lauren McGowan at LMcGowan@northshorechildguidance.org or call her at (516) 626-1971, ext. 320.
Photo: A dedicated group of National Grid employees (pictured here with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center staff) did an amazing job volunteering at the nonprofit’s Nature Nursery.
About North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
About National Grid: National Grid (NYSE: NGG) is an electricity, natural gas, and clean energy delivery company serving more than 20 million people through our networks in New York and Massachusetts. National Grid is focused on building a path to a more affordable, reliable clean energy future through our fossil-free vision. National Grid is transforming our electricity and natural gas networks with smarter, cleaner, and more resilient energy solutions to meet the goal of reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
For more information, please visit our website, follow us on Twitter, watch us on YouTube, like us on Facebook and find our photos on Instagram
Roslyn Heights, NY, October 4, 2022 — Family court hearings are often contentious, and they are certainly no place for young ears. Luckily, with the Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court, parents and guardians have a safe place to bring children from infants to 12-year-olds while they are conducting court business.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which runs this important program, is holding a fundraiser to support the Children’s Center at Nassau County Court on Thursday, October 27, 2022. The event will be held at Tesoro’s Ristorante, 967 Old Country Road, Westbury, from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m., and will feature cocktails, music and a buffet dinner.
“The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a valuable service because it allows children to be insulated from the stress involved in the horror of family court litigation,” said John M. Zenir, Esq., co-chair of the fundraiser. “Just imagine a six-year-old sitting in a public waiting room outside of a courtroom not knowing what is happening. What fear and dread that child must feel! Instead, he or she can go to the Children’s Center and play with toys, read a book and have a snack while being attended to by qualified professionals.”
According to co-chair Allison Cacace, children can be traumatized if they hear their loved ones arguing in court. “The Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court provides a safe, nurturing environment for children while their parents or other caretakers sort out their legal affairs,” said Cacace, Director of Tobay Day School and owner of Casino One Limousines. “It is extremely important that we raise awareness and funds for this invaluable service that makes a positive impact on children and is also greatly beneficial to those who can’t afford to pay for childcare during court sessions.”
“The mission of the Women’s Bar includes promoting the fair and equal administration of justice,” said Cherice P. Vanderhall Wilson, President of the Nassau County Women’s Bar Association, which is co-hosting the benefit. “The Children’s Center eliminates childcare as a barrier to justice and provides a resource for those who need it while they seek assistance from one the County’s most important courts.”
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of the Guidance Center’s Leeds Place, said, “The Children’s Center not only provides childcare, but it’s also an early learning environment, and each child leaves with a book to take home. We are so grateful to John, Allison and the Nassau County Women’s Bar
Association for their dedication and support. We hope that all who care about children will join us on October 27th!”
To purchase tickets or sponsorships, email mespichan@northshorechildguidance.org, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971, ext. 309.
Photo: The Children’s Center provides a safe, nurturing environment for children while their parents are in court.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 19, 2022 — As promised, the sunset was a stunner at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Sunset Soirée at the Manhasset Bay Yacht Club, held on September 8, 2022. The event raised nearly a quarter million dollars to support the Guidance Center, Long Island’s premiere nonprofit children’s mental health organization.
The guests were thrilled at the smooth sounds of Grammy-winning saxophonist Kenny G, whose appearance at the Sunset Soirée was a birthday gift to longtime Guidance Center Board Member Andrea Leeds from her husband Michael and the rest of her family, all of whom were in attendance to celebrate the magical evening.
“It was an amazing experience to have our first in-person gala in three years graced by the incredible talents of Kenny G,“ said Andrea Leeds. Andrea and Michael Leeds, along with Nancy and Lew Lane, were proud to serve together as this year‘s co-chairs. “Everyone in the room, from my two young grandsons to the Guidance Center’s longtime supporters, were moved by the smooth, soulful sounds. “I’m so grateful to Kenny G for making the Sunset Soirée a spectacular night that will long be remembered.“
Former Guidance Center client Samantha Sutfin-Gray shared the story of her severe bout with postpartum depression, which impacts one in seven women.“I can’t even imagine where I would be or how far my suffering would have taken me if I hadn’t sought treatment,“ she told the audience. “The Guidance Center helped me to see that there was a light at the end of a very dark tunnel, and they were with me every step of the way. For that, my family and I are eternally grateful.“
Guidance Center Executive Director/CEO Kathy Rivera told the guests, “In the year I have been at the helm of this wonderful organization, I’ve been so proud of the dedication of our team, from our frontline mental health care staff to our front-desk staff and everyone in between. The reason we have been able to bring hope and healing to the community for nearly 70 years is thanks to them, and to all of you who support our mission.”
Rivera also thanked the night’s emcee, Stacey Sager of Channel 7 Eyewitness News, and the sponsors of the Sunset Soirée: the Leeds Family; Maureen and John Ferrari; the Ike, Molly & Steven Elias Foundation; WABC-TV; Jane and Martin Schwartz; the Jack & Dorothy Kupferberg Foundation; Americana Manhasset; Klipper Family Foundation; Marilyn and Russell Albanese: and Cerity Partners.
Photo: L to R: Michael and Andrea Leeds, Kenny G, and Nancy and Lew Lane
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, is pleased to announce that Michael Schnepper has joined its Board of Directors.
Schnepper, a Partner in Rivkin Radler’s Commercial Litigation, Insurance Coverage and Insurance Fraud Practice Groups, is a longtime supporter of the Guidance Center’s mission to bring hope and healing to children and families facing mental health challenges. For nearly a decade, Schnepper has served as co-chair of one of the most important of the Guidance Center’s annual fundraising events, the Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic.
“We feel extremely fortunate to have Michael joining us,” said Paul Vitale, President of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors. “He has been a vital force in making the Krevat Cup a huge success year after year, and he approaches the role with enthusiasm, creativity and a wonderful sense of humor. We have no doubts that he will bring that spirit to his work on our Board.”
“It’s a real privilege to become part of the dynamic team at the Guidance Center,” said Schnepper. “The past few years have been an enormous challenge for the kids and families of Long Island, making the need for compassionate, expert mental health services more important than ever before. I look forward to working with the dedicated Board Members who give so much of their time and devotion to this amazing organization.”
Published in Newsday, September 12, 2022, Guest Essay By Kathy Rivera
I’ve been a social worker my entire adult life. I grew up in a household and a culture where talking about mental health was not allowed and mental wellbeing was not acknowledged or supported. The stigma was strong, but it only made me more determined to shed light on these issues and let people know it is perfectly normal to seek help.
But five years ago, when my then-15-year-old son came to me and said, “I don’t want to live anymore,” I was in total shock.
Not only was he having suicidal thoughts, he had also begun to formulate a plan—a prime indicator that the danger was real and imminent.
I felt overwhelmed because my child was hurting, and I also felt a deep sense of shame. How did I not see this coming? I had all the clinical knowledge to recognize the signs. It’s not that I didn’t know he had challenges. I just hadn’t realized it had reached a crisis point.
My family’s story is all too common, especially as young people struggle with the trauma caused by the pandemic. Children, teens and young adults have experienced the losses surrounding COVID-19 in deep and potentially long-lasting ways. Studies have reported sharp increases in rates of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and suicide attempts.
Trauma in children and teens is at an all-time high, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. More than a third of high school students said they experienced poor mental health during the pandemic; 44% reported feeling “persistently sad or hopeless.” One in five considered suicide; nearly 10% attempted it.
But the youth mental health crisis pre-dates the pandemic. In 2018, suicide was the second-leading cause of death among 10-to-24-year-olds, an increase of nearly 60% from 2007. Moreover, suicide rates among 10-to-12-year-olds increased nearly fivefold from 2010 to 2020.
Studies suggest that social media use and cyberbullying in particular contribute to depression, low self-esteem and other mental health issues that influence suicidal behavior, especially in girls. Tragic events such as mass shootings in schools have led to unprecedented levels of anxiety among youth. A lack of timely, affordable mental health care, economic struggles, and the epidemic of drug use also likely play a role.
While the picture seems bleak, there is a lot you can do to keep your child safe. Watch out for common warning signs of suicide, including withdrawing from friends and family, mood swings, engaging in risky or self-destructive behavior, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, increased use of drugs or alcohol, giving away possessions, posting suicidal thoughts on social media, and talking about death and not being around anymore.
We are lucky our son chose to tell us he was suicidal. We immediately sought professional help, and today, though he is not without struggles, he strives to maintain a balance with his mental wellness every day. We keep the lines of communication open, and assure him that we are there for him.
Ask your kids how they are feeling on a regular basis, even if they seem fine. Ask directly if they are having thoughts of suicide. Talking about suicide doesn’t make it more likely that they’ll consider the idea. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
Make talking about mental health the same as talking about any illness. We must all play a role in breaking the stigma and helping other children who may be hurting. Compassionate communication can save a life.
This guest essay reflects the views of Kathy Rivera, Executive Director and CEO of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights.
Kathy Rivera, Executive Director/CEO of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center (the Guidance Center) is thrilled to announce that Grammy-winning musician Kenny G will be the guest performer at the organization’s Sunset Soirée, a fundraiser that will be held on Sept. 8 at 6:30 p.m. at the beautiful Manhasset Bay Yacht Club in Port Washington.
Saxophonist Kenny G recorded the best-selling instrumental album of all time in the Diamond-selling, 12-times-Platinum 1992 “Breathless.” His latest release, “New Standards,” his 19th studio album, could well be used to describe his four-decade body of work, a vision of jazz that helped launch both a musical genre and radio format.
“New Standards” continues the musical path that has seen Kenny G sell 75 million albums around the world.
In addition to a live performance by Kenny G, the Sunset Soirée will feature elegant cocktails and dining, beautiful sunset views and fabulous silent auction prizes. All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center, Long Island’s premiere children’s mental health nonprofit organization.
“After having to postpone our in-person event for the past two years due to the pandemic, we are so excited to be welcoming back our devoted supporters for what promises to be a spectacular evening,” said Kathy Rivera, executive director of the Guidance Center. “For nearly 70 years, the Guidance Center has been committed to providing essential mental health services to the children and families in our community, regardless of their ability to pay. And those services are needed more than ever during these very difficult times, when depression, anxiety and other mental health challenges are at epidemic proportions among our youth.”
The co-chairs for this year’s event are longtime Guidance Center supporters Nancy and Lew Lane and Andrea and Michael Leeds. The Mistress of Ceremonies will be Stacey Sager of Channel 7 Eyewitness News.
All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about becoming a sponsor or an underwriter or purchasing tickets, please visit www.northshorechildguidance.org/sunsetsoiree, call (516) 626-1971, ext. 309 or email mespichan@northshorechildguidance.org.
Kindergarten Preparation, Published in Blank Slate Media, August 15, 2022
In this monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center answer your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email communications@northshorechildguidance.org.
Question: We have twins, a girl and boy, and both are entering kindergarten in September. This is a first for our family, and we’re not sure if we are doing enough to prepare them, especially since their pre-school experience was limited due to the pandemic. Any advice?
–Anxious Parents
Dear Anxious Parents: You’re not alone in having concerns about your children adjusting to the new routine of “big kid” school. Even before the pandemic, parents often felt anxiety about the transition to kindergarten, but since many families chose to keep their children home while COVID-19 was in full swing, those worries may be magnified right now.
Since many youngsters have been taught to keep their distance from strangers in order to avoid getting sick, they may be more wary of being with new people. You can help reassure them that you, their teachers and others are working together to keep everyone safe and healthy. While COVID-19 has shown itself to be somewhat unpredictable, we are in a far better place than we were a few years ago with preventative measures and treatment, and that information can be imparted to ease your child’s anxiety.
Starting in a new school can be scary under any circumstances, but there are steps you can take to help. If your school allows it, plan to bring your child to their classroom to meet their teacher before the school year begins. Also take them to see the gym, the playground, cafeteria, library, nurse’s office and other locations. Even if the teacher won’t be available, familiarizing your child with the school and the routine will go far in reducing their fears.
Be careful not to put your own fears onto your child. A lot of parents reflect on their own first-day jitters, and they assume their child feels the same way. While a certain level of school anxiety is entirely normal in children, they are also likely to feel excited, so remember to focus on the positive aspects of school, such as making new friends, having lots of time to play and learning fun new things.
Below are some more suggestions to make the transition as smooth as possible:
Some schools help set up late summer playground events for incoming kindergartners. If they do, take advantage of the opportunity for your child to meet some new friends.
Talk about what they are going to learn; make a game of “playing school” by introducing some of the activities that go on in a typical school day.
Bring them with you when you shop for school supplies. Choosing their own folders, pencils, crayons and the like will make the experience feel special.
Get your child on a regular bedtime schedule before school begins so they are accustomed to getting up at the same time they’ll need to awaken for school.
Sit together and make a morning game plan—what are some breakfast ideas, which outfits will they want to wear their first week, and how they will be getting to school. If you can, do some practice runs (or walks) to the bus stop, if they’ll be taking one.
Teach your child their basic contact information, including the correct spelling of their name, their address and their phone number. Also help them practice writing their own names.
Make sure they know how to take their shoes on and off, and also how to zip up their backpacks.
When you give your youngsters a chance to talk about all their emotions and react calmly to whatever they say, it reassures them that everything will be fine. But if your child appears to be highly anxious and expresses reluctance to go to school after the first week or so, consider contacting a mental health professional. The pandemic has impacted children’s emotional well-being in numerous ways, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, Long Island’s leading children’s mental health organization, is seeing clients both remotely via telehealth platforms and in person, depending on the clients’ needs. No one is ever turned away for inability to pay. To make an appointment, call 516-626-1971 or email intake@northshorechildguidance.org.