From time to time, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center has used animal assisted therapy (AAT) in its mental health treatment programs with children and teens, working in partnership with local canine and equine organizations.
In animal assisted groups, the therapist works closely with the animal handler or trainer. Think of the handler as an interpreter who teaches about the animal. The handler loves to talk about the personality of the animal and its unique qualities. They can humanize how the animals “speak” and keep appropriate boundaries.
Although using dogs is a little easier to arrange logistically speaking, there are a growing number of settings that offer equine facilitated therapy. Following is an illustration of animal assisted therapy using horses that helped build social skills and self confidence in a group of young teenagers who were identified as painfully shy or socially awkward.
After they arrived at the stables, the girls and boys sat around a table. Group work with horses mostly entails ground activities. Sitting on or riding the horses is the exception. The horses were led outside and the group members were asked, “How do the horses welcome each other? How did they say hi?” Or “Look at Rusty: he looks like he is trying to get away from the others. Why do you think that is?” This opened the door for humor, as one of the more quiet boys said, “Maybe he has B.O. or bad breath.”
The handler then said, “Oh, did you see that? Rusty tried to kick that horse. Why do you think he did that?” This led the way to some discussions about anger and aggression.
In time the process became a little more sophisticated—for example, when the teens were asked, “How do the horses communicate?” The group could see that horses are powerful animals. The handler taught them that horses are prey animals that are always on the lookout. They learned that these majestic animals are instinctual and that they don’t see straight ahead but side to side, thus the rule to always stay on their side. (And, similarly, when a group is working with canine therapy, they learn not to look a dog in the eye because he can take it as aggression.)
The handler said, “See, you stay on their side because horses look side to side to scan the horizon.” Later, they learned that approaching and petting animals is a lesson in respecting one’s boundaries.
It was all about observation and metaphor, helping the young people build their observational muscles and reflect on what they saw and sensed. The activities were both direct and yet metaphorical in nature.
After a while the group members were asked, “Which horse do you want to spend some time with and why?” One group member said, “I’ll take Rusty; he’s a little shy but I think he is a tough horse and nobody’s gonna mess with him.”
Some of the teens we work with are immigrants from Central America, who escaped treacherous circumstances, and being with the horses brought back fond memories and staked a little claim to fame for them in the group. For example, Maria shared, “I know something about this. My family has horses. That one over there looks sad.”
The handler then talked about the “sad” horse’s history. Many of the horses were adopted and/or donated. This piqued the kids’ interest as the horse’s experience became a metaphor for their own dislocations and transitions. These issues were explored in a subtle, sensitive manner whereby the participants could project their feelings and experiences on the horses in an emotionally safe way.
By working with horses or dogs, children and teens learn many lessons, among them the importance of expressing their emotions, the ability to bond (both with the animal and with the other kids) and ways to keep calm and decrease stress. It’s a profound experience that can have lasting positive effects.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To learn more about the Guidance Center’s innovative programs, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
In this episode of Well Said, we’re talking about something that many may think of more as ancient history than contemporary health – the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth. Sadly, deaths related to child delivery still occur and happen at higher rates in the United States than in most other countries in the developed world. Our guests will help us understand just how risky pregnancy and childbirth are today, and why.
Special thanks to Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell first-year students Joy Achuonjei and Alec Xiang for research and production support for this program.
The law to require mental health education in New York schools is a good step [“LI Schools’ New Focus on Mental Health,” News, Nov. 28]. However, almost half of all children in the country with a mental health disorder did not receive necessary care from a mental health professional in 2016, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association.
We educate children to spot signs and symptoms and find resources – and then, in a cruel twist, many cannot access care.
Federal law requires insurers to treat mental health benefits the same as medical benefits, and to provide enrollees with timely access to a sufficient number of suitable mental health providers. This is known as network adequacy.
Too often, this does not happen, especially for middle-class and working-poor families, because health insurers pay substandard rates of reimbursement for the mental health care, thus depleting the networks. When families call for help, they are too often told, “I don’t accept your insurance.”
The health insurance industry does not comply with federal parity, and New York State does not adequately enforce the law. The state mandates mental health education in schools and lets the health insurance industry slide.
What do our kids learn? Once stigma is lifted, discrimination kicks in.
Andrew Malekoff, Long Beach
Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, a children’s mental health center in Roslyn Heights.
Misunderstanding and fear are common among people who have incorrect ideas about mental illness. The result: Young people suffering with mental health issues feel isolated, believing that there’s something innately wrong with them that can never change.
In 2018, public schools in New York State were mandated to begin educating students about mental health. Among the goals are to recognize when help is needed and to learn how to find help. This initiative was the result of long-overdue legislation signed by Governor Cuomo in 2016.
But offering instruction aimed at advancing emotional wellness and reducing stigma is not the norm everywhere. For example, trouble is brewing in a school system in Raleigh, North Carolina regarding a program that was initiated to support students’ emotional well-being.
A group of Raleigh parents who identify themselves as “Parents for the Protection of Students” hired an attorney to advocate for them against the school system’s use of “Community Circles” to build a sense of belonging and friendship.
I obtained a copy of the attorney’s letter, which was addressed to the Apex Middle School principal and which lays out the parents’ concerns. Although the school initiative in the Raleigh schools was not mental health instruction per se, it was, in essence, an effort to support the mental health of students.
Following is a portion of their attorney’s five-page letter:
“I represent PARENTS FOR THE PROTECTION OF STUDENTS, an unincorporated grassroots association of concerned Wake County parents who have been disturbed by recent actions taken by the Wake County Public School System.
“The specific concern addressed by this letter is a practice that has been instituted at Apex Middle School and perhaps other schools in the system as well – ‘the Circle’ . . . As described by our parents and their children, as well as the school’s own materials about the Circle, it is expressly intended to address ‘difficult emotions and difficult realities.’ Moreover, this activity effectively compels disclosure of highly sensitive and personal information from students, including the following [partial list]:
• What it means to “listen from and speak from the heart.” • Answering, “If you were a kind of weather today, what would it be?” • What it feels like to be “bullied.” • Talking about a “high point” and a “low point” in the student’s past week. • Describing “friendship” for the student. • Aspirations for who the student wishes to be. • Describing the student’s family. • Experiences of being “hurt” and “angry.”
“The program makes clear that its purpose is to ‘talk about [the student’s] feelings’ and furthermore that there is ‘no hiding behind a desk.’ These are not academic topics; they are topics for a group therapy session.
“Group therapy, like other forms of traditional psychological treatment and counseling, can bring great benefit to many people. But it is not within the purview of a school to conduct such treatment during the school day, without parental consent, and outside of the supervision of duly-trained and licensed psychological and counseling professionals. Therefore, we call for the immediate discontinuation of this activity.”
In researching the implementation of the Circle, what I discovered is that although school staff members were trained in implementing the Circle program, an important step was missed in planning these groups.
In my role as a licensed clinical social worker, I have worked with children and teenagers in groups since the early 1970s. I have written extensively on the subject, including the textbook, Group Work with Adolescents: Principles and Practice, now in its 3rd edition.
In the case of the Wake County School System, I believe parents are rightfully upset. From what I have been able to gather, the parents were not adequately informed about the Circle program or told that they had a choice to opt out.
Balancing the tenuous relationship among parent, child and school should be paramount when a program like the Circle is being considered. This requires foresight and careful attention, particularly before rolling out a program that is not academic in nature.
Forging a working alliance with parents of children who participate in mental health-oriented groups in a school system is essential. For a group-oriented mental health program like this to succeed in a school, this important element of planning cannot be overlooked.
Although it will require extra work to fully engage parents, in the end it will be worth the effort to implement a successful program and prevent the kind of fallout that the school system in Raleigh is now experiencing.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
A representative from makeup company lilah b. helps a Guidance Center client enjoy a day for self-care.
All moms deserve some pampering, but when you’re a mother who is experiencing postpartum depression, a day out dedicated to your wellbeing is a much-needed healing experience. This fall, the place of healing was Neiman Marcus in Roosevelt Field. The renowned retailer, which is a dedicated partner and supporter of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, offered a “Beauty Master Class” for several moms who are clients of our Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program.
The mothers were treated to a personalized makeup application from two representatives from lilah b., a natural line of beauty products made in Italy. “The lilah b. reps were just wonderful,” said Vanessa McMullan, supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset. “They talked to the moms and helped them choose the right makeup for their skin.” The mothers also went home with a gift bag of products from lilah b. McMullan also expressed her gratitude to the staff at Neiman Marcus, which has partnered with the Guidance Center for the past four years, offering a variety of beauty events and also a mentoring conference for some of our teen girl clients. “Neiman Marcus had a special room set up just for us, with extra help to care for the babies that came,” said McMullan. “All of the moms loved being together and getting some TLC. It was a perfect day!” “One of the pillars of our company is supporting the communities where Neiman Marcus stores are found,” said Neiman Marcus Roosevelt Field Vice President, General Manager Doris Wilshere. “We are thankful for the relationship that we have built with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center over the four years since our store opened. We applaud the Guidance Center for the support they provide to the many Long Island families that rely on resources like the Maternal Depression Program to live happier and healthier lives.”Neiman Marcus will be hosting more events for our Guidance Center’s maternal depression clients later this month and for the foreseeable future. To find out more, contact Vanessa McMullan at vmcmullan@northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 484-3174, ext. 415.
Roslyn Heights, NY, November 19, 2019 — All moms deserve some pampering, but when you’re a mother who is experiencing postpartum depression, a day out dedicated to your wellbeing is a much-needed healing experience.
This fall, the place of healing was Neiman Marcus in Roosevelt Field. The renowned retailer, which is a dedicated partner and supporter of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, offered a “Beauty Master Class” for several moms who are clients of our Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program. The mothers were treated to a personalized makeup application from two representatives from lilah b., a natural line of beauty products made in Italy.
“The lilah b. reps were just wonderful,” said Vanessa McMullan, Supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset. “They talked to the moms and helped them choose the right makeup for their skin.” The mothers also went home with a gift bag of products from lilah b.
McMullan also expressed her gratitude to the staff at Neiman Marcus, which has partnered with the Guidance Center for the past four years, offering a variety of beauty events and also a mentoring conference for some of our teen girl clients.
“Neiman Marcus had a special room set up just for us, with extra help to care for the babies that came,” said McMullan. “All of the moms loved being together and getting some TLC. It was a perfect day!”
“One of the pillars of our company is supporting the communities where Neiman Marcus stores are found,” said Neiman Marcus Roosevelt Field Vice President, General Manager Doris Wilshere. “We are thankful for the relationship that we have built with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center over the four years since our store opened. We applaud the Guidance Center for the support they provide to the many Long Island families that rely on resources like the Maternal Depression Program to live happier and healthier lives.”
Neiman Marcus will be hosting more events for our Guidance Center’s maternal depression clients later this month and for the foreseeable future. To find out more, contact Vanessa McMullan at vmcmullan@northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 484-3174, ext. 415.
A representative from makeup company lilah b. helps a Guidance Center client enjoy a day for self-care.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
If my count is accurate, I was one of just three men (aside from the tech guy) who attended the Maternal Mental Health Conference on Oct. 2, at the Morrelly Conference Center in Bethpage. Yet the message of this conference was as germane for men—fathers, brothers, grandfathers and coworkers—as it was for mothers.
The conference was led by a terrific panel of health professionals, health educators and advocates. In the comments to follow, I will not cite any one in particular but I credit all five—Pauline Walfisch, Dr. Ariela Frieder, Vanessa McMullan, Sonia Murdoch and Phyllis Kaufman—who are all champions for pregnant and parenting moms.
We must begin with understanding the false ideal imposed upon many new moms. The ideal is that when a woman becomes pregnant, delivers a child and becomes a mother who cares for that child, everything is supposed to perfect.
Undoubtedly, some moms are able to acknowledge that being a mother is messy. They can adjust their sights, recognize that the ideal of perfection is a fantasy and adjust to the new reality of their lives. Naturally, it helps enormously to have the consistent support and understanding of their partner, family members and friends.
For some moms, though, messiness is harder to tolerate, especially when they experience what used to be known exclusively as postpartum depression and is now known as perinatal mood or anxiety disorders (PMADs for short). The latter term broadens the focus by recognizing that depression can occur during pregnancy as well as after giving birth, and that anxiety may also be a part of the picture. In other words, postpartum depression, the term most well-known by the lay public, is just one type of PMAD.
It is important here to pause and explain the difference between baby blues and clinical depression. The term baby blues represents the normal and characteristically mild ups and downs that new moms might experience for a few weeks after giving birth. Postpartum depression, on the other hand, can be the result of a confluence of stressors including the shifting of reproductive hormones following the delivery, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, isolation, inadequate partner support, poverty and health issues of mom or baby, for example.
When you couple all this with the myth of perfect maternal bliss, the result is that many moms living with PMADs suffer in silence. Anything other than 100 percent perfection evokes feelings of stigma and shame.
Some mothers who are clinically depressed live with the belief that they should just “suck it up.” Others are advised to “pray it away.” Moms are very hard on themselves; they can begin to feel hopeless and harbor the feeling that things will never get better.
The good news is that there is help. The better news is that you can help. As one of the panelists advised, just ask the question. In other words, ask how mom is doing. The focus is most often on how the baby is doing, totally disregarding the mom, which just reinforces the idea that moms should be happy, holding their own and thrilled to be a new mother.
Whether you are a partner, parent, friend or colleague—female or male—asking the question is the first step toward eliminating stigma and shame. It can make all the difference in the world for a new mom who is suffering in silence. Ask the question.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. To find out more, including information about the Guidance Center’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is thrilled to announce that its Celestial Soirée raised more than $485,000 to support the Guidance Center’s mission to bring hope and healing to children and their families who are experiencing mental health and substance use challenges.
The Oct. 24 gala, which honored Louis P. Iglesias, president and Chief Executive Officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., is the Guidance Center’s biggest fundraising event of the year.
“The Guidance Center provides an essential service to our community,” said Iglesias. “The importance of providing a safe environment to address children’s mental health issues cannot be overestimated. I am proud to be part of such a great cause.”
A dedicated group of Guidance Center supporters made the evening a huge success. They include event co-chairs John Bender and Wesley Dupont both from Allied World; journal co-chairs Nancy and Lew Lane; and emcee Stacey Sager of WABC TV’s Eyewitness News, whose grace and generous spirit made for a fantastic evening.
“We are so grateful to Lou Iglesias and co-chairs John Bender and Wes Dupont for helping us raise the funds that support our mission to bring emotional healing to children and families who are struggling with mental health issues,” said Paul Vitale, Board president at the Guidance Center. “Each year, we are blessed to have so many dedicated supporters who understand the importance of our work, and who enable us to serve 10,000 individuals each year.”
Sager, who emceed the event for the first time this year, said,“I can’t think of anything more critical than the mental health and well-being of our children. Working with a group as dedicated as the Guidance Center assures me that children and their families will always have a place to turn for the lifesaving help they may desperately need.”
A former client named John, now 17, spoke about his journey with ADHD, and how the Guidance Center’s unique Wilderness Program—which takes at-risk youth on hikes to nature settings—made all the difference in his success. “The reason the Wilderness Program is so important and helpful to people like me is because it’s a safe space for people to be able to be themselves and learn and improve at their own pace,” John told the audience. “The program made me feel like I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.” Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff expressed his gratitude to the honoree, speaker, emcee, donors, sponsors and all who worked so hard on the gala committee.
“For more than 65 years, we have been dedicated to providing mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay,” said Malekoff. “And because of the generosity of everyone involved, we will be able to continue to provide the best in care to the community.”
All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about the organization’s services, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is thrilled to announce that its Celestial Soirée raised over $485,000 to support the Guidance Center’s mission to bring hope and healing to children and their families who are experiencing mental health and substance use challenges.
The Oct. 24 gala, which honored Louis P. Iglesias, president and chief executive officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., is the Guidance Center’s biggest fundraising event of the year.
“The Guidance Center provides an essential service to our community,” said Iglesias. “The importance of providing a safe environment to address children’s mental health issues cannot be overestimated. I am proud to be part of such a great cause.”
A dedicated group of Guidance Center supporters made the evening a huge success. They include event co-chairs John Bender and Wesley Dupont both from Allied World; journal co-chairs Nancy and Lew Lane; and emcee Stacey Sager of WABC TV’s Eyewitness News, whose grace and generous spirit made for a fantastic evening. “We are so grateful to Lou Iglesias and co-chairs John Bender and Wes Dupont for helping us raise the funds that support our mission to bring emotional healing to children and families who are struggling with mental health issues,” said Paul Vitale, board president at the Guidance Center. “Each year, we are blessed to have so many dedicated supporters who understand the importance of our work, and who enable us to serve 10,000 individuals each year.” Sager, who emceed the event for the first time this year, said,“I can’t think of anything more critical than the mental health and well-being of our children. Working with a group as dedicated as the Guidance Center assures me that children and their families will always have a place to turn for the lifesaving help they may desperately need.” A former client named John, now 17, spoke about his journey with ADHD, and how the Guidance Center’s unique Wilderness Program — which takes at-risk youth on hikes to nature settings— made all the difference in his success. “The reason the Wilderness Program is so important and helpful to people like me is because it’s a safe space for people to be able to be themselves and learn and improve at their own pace,” John told the audience. “The program made me feel like I could accomplish anything I put my mind to!”
Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff expressed his gratitude to the honoree, speaker, emcee, donors, sponsors and all who worked so hard on the gala committee. “For more than 65 years, we have been dedicated to providing mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay,” said Malekoff. “And because of the generosity of everyone involved, we will be able to continue to provide the best in care to the community.”
All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about the organization’s services, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
If your child needed a life-saving chemotherapy drug and you were told that because of a shortage you were out of luck, how would you feel? What would you do about it?
Sadly, this is no fantasy scenario. It is a 21st-century reality for treating childhood cancer. According to a recent New York Times report, “Doctors are warning that they may soon be forced to consider rationing doses” of the drug in question: vincristine. Rationing means making decisions about who gets the drug and who doesn’t.
In other words, although vincristine is an essential part of the best practices treatment regimen for pediatric cancer, some kids would not receive it; some would get it less frequently than called for, and others would be prescribed a poor substitute with more intense side effects.
As a cancer survivor, vincristine was a part of the cocktail of drugs that I received intravenously during my chemotherapy treatments for non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
My understanding, though, is that this chemotherapy drug is not used as widely for adults with cancer as for kids. In fact, the American Cancer Society reports that children represent less than 1 percent of all cancer diagnoses.
The bottom line: Apparently there is little profit incentive to produce a greater volume of vincristine, despite the fact that most kids with cancer take it and it helps save their lives, according to a recent Newsday story.
Although chemotherapy is not easy to tolerate as an adult, I cannot imagine being a young child and going through it. What is even harder to fathom is not having access to the most effective drug to treat my disease and then having to settle for a less effective and less tolerable substitute.
At present, only one pharmaceutical company – Pfizer – supplies vincristine, which is an older and more inexpensive drug. Only one other company – Teva – produced the drug but, according to the FDA, Teva “made a business decision to discontinue the product.”
In a May 9, 2018 story, the Financial Times of London explained, “When prices of older, off-patent drugs decline, manufacturers may leave the market, leaving a limited number of suppliers for certain medicines.”
According to New York Times reporter Roni Rabin, 19,000 children and teens develop cancer each year and the cure rate is 85 percent. She added that shortages create disruptions in treatment, citing the New England Journal of Medicine which noted that “in 2013, 83 percent of oncologists said that they were unable to prescribe the chemotherapy agent they wanted to use because of a shortage and that they had to substitute a different drug or delay treatment.”
Dr. Peter Adamson, chair of the Children’s Oncology Group, stated in the New York Times story: “It’s hard enough for any family having a kid with cancer, and having a child with cancer likely to be cured except we can’t give the drug is beyond the imagination. How can we do that to families?”
Perhaps Erin Fox, Director of the Drug Information Service at the University of Utah Health Care in Salt Lake City, has the answer: “We see the most shortages with generics, specifically generic injectable products because they have low-profit margins and are difficult to make.”
To sum up, we’ve come to a place where an FDA-approved chemotherapy drug has been proven to help save children’s lives, but the drug is in short supply because it is not profitable to manufacture; therefore, some children will have to suffer from a taking a substitute drug that causes more severe side effects.
This is not a new story; just a variation on an old one. For example, we know about insulin’s high cost in keeping diabetes patients from taking their medicine. It is available but unaffordable. Vincristine is affordable but is fast becoming unavailable.
I’ve written before in this space about access to mental health care and the role of the health insurance industry in denying and delaying access to care. The story of vincristine adds further evidence of the corporate reality in which profits trump people every time.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
As young people all across the U.S. reach their 18th birthdays, they will become eligible to vote in their first presidential election in 2020. It’s shaping up to be a record turnout ever since the vote went to 18-year-olds in 1972, after the 26th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified.
Although the law was written to prevent government from denying a citizen who is at least 18 years old the right to vote, a number of state governments have found a way to do just that—and not only to 18-year-olds, but anyone who they think might vote against a favored candidate or proposition.
In a June 13, 2019, report for The Atlantic, writer Ron Brownstein cited Michael McDonald, a University of Florida political scientist who specializes in voting behavior. McDonald stated that the greatest increase in eligible voters comes from “young people who turn 18 and immigrants who become citizens.”
The increase in eligible voters doesn’t necessarily determine how many of them vote. Who shows up to vote does. And who is turned away doesn’t.
In recent years, there has been a fair amount of political bluster about rampant voter fraud, which has not been substantiated except in a miniscule number of individual instances. What has been well-documented historically, however, is voter suppression to prevent or discourage particular groups of people from voting. Many tactics are used to disenfranchise voters from casting ballots that range from inconveniencing voters to physically intimidating them.
For example, Jim Crow laws were passed in southern states after the Civil War to suppress poor and racial minority voters. Such laws were made illegal after the enactment of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Nevertheless, in 2013 the Supreme Court decided to eliminate Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act; the loss of Section 4, it has been argued, results in voter suppression among African-Americans. In the intervening years more than 1,000 polling places were closed that were in close proximity to where many African-American eligible voters live.
In 2014, attorneys for seven college students argued in a North Carolina case that a voter ID law suppresses the youth vote. According to an ABA Journal report by Debra Cassens Weiss on July 18, 2014, “The North Carolina law at issue eliminated same-day registration, shortened the period for early voting, and eliminated a program that allowed teens to fill out registration forms that took effect on their 18th birthday. A photo ID [would be required] but student IDs won’t be accepted and neither will out-of-state driver’s licenses, in most cases.”
The next presidential election will be held Nov. 3, 2020. If you are a teenager who has or will become eligible to vote before that time, it is important that you register to vote and know your rights.
Depending on where you live, you can become eligible to cast a ballot in all state and federal elections when you reach 18. Check out www.usa.gov/voter-registration-age-requirements for age requirements by state. Another good resource regarding voting rights is the League of Women Voters (www.lwv.org) whose mission is: Empowering voters. Defending democracy.
Your vote counts. Get registered and use it.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Singer Alanis Morissette had the foresight to prepare for a recurrence of postpartum depression following the birth of her third child [“Postpartum blues for Morissette,” Flash!, Oct. 8]. Sadly, this is not the case for most new moms who experience depression.
It is important to understand that baby blues represents mild ups and downs and stress that new moms might experience for a few weeks after giving birth. Postpartum depression is the result of factors that can include the shifting of reproductive hormones following delivery, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, isolation, inadequate partner support, poverty and health issues of mom or baby.
Most women with postpartum depression are very hard on themselves, suffer in silence and harbor feelings of shame. This can spiral into hopelessness and a belief that things will never get better.
The good news, according to Sonia Murdoch, co-founder of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York, is that others can help. How? Just ask the question! Ask a new mother how she is doing — a first step toward eliminating the hopelessness that a new mom might be feeling. Ask the question.
Andrew Malekoff,
Long Beach
Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, which operates the Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression program in Manhasset.
Despite the contentious politics that the public is exposed to on a daily basis, there are valuable lessons to be learned.
For example, I wonder how many working people are fully aware that they have whistle-blower protections and what they are.
Their only exposure, until most recently, may have been to whistleblowers that have been popularized in films like On the Waterfront, Serpico, All the President’s Men, Silkwood, and Erin Brockovich, to name just a few that might ring a bell.
As the executive director of a nonprofit children’s mental health agency, it is my responsibility to make sure that we have a whistleblower policy.
This is to ensure that all employees understand the organization’s commitment to prohibiting intimidation, harassment, discrimination or other retaliation for reporting actions that are illegal, unethical, and fraudulent or in violation of any organization policy.
According to Tim Barnett, a professor in the Department of Management and Information Systems at Mississippi State University, whistleblowing policies should have the following components as a minimum:
1. A clear statement that employees who are aware of possible wrongdoing within the organization have a responsibility to disclose that information to appropriate parties inside the organization; 2. The designation of specific individuals or groups outside the chain of command as complaint recipients; 3. A guarantee that employees who in good faith disclose perceived wrongdoing to the designated parties inside the organization will be protected from adverse employment consequences; and 4. The establishment of a fair and impartial investigative process.
The Whistleblower Protection Act that was signed into law by President George W. Bush in 1989 extends the Civil Service Reform Act of 1978 to offer protections to federal government employees from retaliatory action for voluntarily disclosing information about dishonest or illegal activities occurring in a government organization.
If you follow the news you know that a federal employee – a whistleblower, recently filed a complaint involving the president’s phone call with the Ukrainian president. The President denies that any wrongdoing occurred. He is entitled to a fair hearing. Congress is investigating.
In the meantime, the President has asked, “why aren’t we entitled to interview and learn everything about the whistleblower and also the person who gave all of the false information to him?” That’s a fair question. The simple answer is because it would be a violation of the protections detailed in the law.
According to University of South Carolina professor Xuhong Su, “anonymity is of paramount importance for both protecting whistleblowers, but also in the long run, to incentivize more acting whistleblowers along the road.”
The president went on to say that the whistleblower is “almost a spy” and made reference to how spies were dealt with in the past. He didn’t spell it out, but spies were subject to long prison sentences or execution.
In fact, in 1971 when U.S. military analyst Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers, exposing decision making regarding the Vietnam War, he was charged under the Espionage Act of 1917 and faced 115 years in prison. The charges were later dismissed.
Imagine if a whistleblower at my workplace filed a report against me for some wrongdoing and when I learned of it if I announced, “I want that person in my office ASAP so I can get to the bottom of this.”
Although I’ve never been the subject of a whistleblower report, it would be most disconcerting to have someone unknown to me, report me for some alleged wrongdoing. Nevertheless, agency policy would prohibit me from doing anything other than waiting for a fair hearing.
I’m sure I would be upset and probably angry. And, I would wonder who made the report. I would likely speculate. I might have some fantasies about what to do about it. I’d like to think that I’d wait out the investigation. Would I make a death threat? I don’t think so.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Despite the contentious politics that the public is exposed to on a daily basis, there are valuable lessons to be learned.
For example, I wonder how many working people are fully aware that they have whistle-blower protections and what they are.
Their only exposure, until most recently, may have been to whistleblowers that have been popularized in films like On the Waterfront, Serpico, All the President’s Men, Silkwood, and Erin Brockovich, to name just a few that might ring a bell.
As the executive director of a nonprofit children’s mental health agency, it is my responsibility to make sure that we have a whistleblower policy.
This is to ensure that all employees understand the organization’s commitment to prohibiting intimidation, harassment, discrimination or other retaliation for reporting actions that are illegal, unethical, and fraudulent or in violation of any organization policy.
According to Tim Barnett, a professor in the Department of Management and Information Systems at Mississippi State University, whistleblowing policies should have the following components as a minimum:
1. A clear statement that employees who are aware of possible wrongdoing within the organization have a responsibility to disclose that information to appropriate parties inside the organization; 2. The designation of specific individuals or groups outside the chain of command as complaint recipients; 3. A guarantee that employees who in good faith disclose perceived wrongdoing to the designated parties inside the organization will be protected from adverse employment consequences; and 4. The establishment of a fair and impartial investigative process.
The Whistleblower Protection Act that was signed into law by President George W. Bush in 1989 extends the Civil Service Reform Act of 1978 to offer protections to federal government employees from retaliatory action for voluntarily disclosing information about dishonest or illegal activities occurring in a government organization.
If you follow the news you know that a federal employee – a whistleblower, recently filed a complaint involving the president’s phone call with the Ukrainian president. The President denies that any wrongdoing occurred. He is entitled to a fair hearing. Congress is investigating.
In the meantime, the President has asked, “why aren’t we entitled to interview and learn everything about the whistleblower and also the person who gave all of the false information to him?” That’s a fair question. The simple answer is because it would be a violation of the protections detailed in the law.
According to University of South Carolina professor Xuhong Su, “anonymity is of paramount importance for both protecting whistleblowers, but also in the long run, to incentivize more acting whistleblowers along the road.”
The president went on to say that the whistleblower is “almost a spy” and made reference to how spies were dealt with in the past. He didn’t spell it out, but spies were subject to long prison sentences or execution.
In fact, in 1971 when U.S. military analyst Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers, exposing decision making regarding the Vietnam War, he was charged under the Espionage Act of 1917 and faced 115 years in prison. The charges were later dismissed.
Imagine if a whistleblower at my workplace filed a report against me for some wrongdoing and when I learned of it if I announced, “I want that person in my office ASAP so I can get to the bottom of this.”
Although I’ve never been the subject of a whistleblower report, it would be most disconcerting to have someone unknown to me, report me for some alleged wrongdoing. Nevertheless, agency policy would prohibit me from doing anything other than waiting for a fair hearing.
I’m sure I would be upset and probably angry. And, I would wonder who made the report. I would likely speculate. I might have some fantasies about what to do about it. I’d like to think that I’d wait out the investigation. Would I make a death threat? I don’t think so.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
16-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg (Photo source: Greta Thunberg Facebook)
On Sept. 18, I listened to Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old Swedish climate activist who testified before a U.S. Congressional hearing on climate change. Her message was brief and then she answered questions along with a number of fellow youth climate activists.
She told the congressional members that she had no prepared remarks and, instead, was leaving them with written testimony. She said, “I am submitting this report as my testimony because I don’t want you to listen to me, I want you to listen to the scientists. And I want you to unite behind the science. And then I want you to take real action.”
Nevertheless, four months earlier she did offer more extensive remarks to the British Parliament. Here, in part, is what she said:
“My name is Greta Thunberg. I am 16 years old. I come from Sweden. And I speak on behalf of future generations. I know many of you don’t want to listen to us—you say we are just children. But we’re only repeating the message of the united climate science.
“Many of you appear concerned that we are wasting valuable lesson time, but I assure you we will go back to school the moment you start listening to science and give us a future. Is that really too much to ask?
“In the year 2030, I will be 26 years old. My little sister Beata will be 23. Just like many of your own children or grandchildren. That is a great age, we have been told. When you have all of your life ahead of you. But I am not so sure it will be that great for us.
“I was fortunate to be born in a time and place where everyone told us to dream big; I could become whatever I wanted to. I could live wherever I wanted to. People like me had everything we needed and more. Things our grandparents could not even dream of. We had everything we could ever wish for and yet now we may have nothing.
“Now we probably don’t even have a future any more.
“Because that future was sold so that a small number of people could make unimaginable amounts of money. It was stolen from us every time you said that the sky was the limit and that you only live once.
“You lied to us. You gave us false hope. You told us that the future was something to look forward to. And the saddest thing is that most children are not even aware of the fate that awaits us. We will not understand it until it’s too late. And yet we are the lucky ones. Those who will be affected the hardest are already suffering the consequences. But their voices are not heard.”
Greta went on to offer more specific information about reductions in greenhouse gases including methane gas escaping from rapidly thawing arctic permafrost. A note of clarification: When methane leaks into the air before being used it absorbs the sun’s heat, warming the atmosphere. If you would like more scientific detail you can read Greta’s full remarks to Parliament by clicking the link provided at the bottom of this column.
Greta concluded her remarks by stating, “We children are not sacrificing our education and our childhood for you to tell us what you consider is politically possible in the society that you have created. We have not taken to the streets for you to take selfies with us, and tell us that you really admire what we do.
“We children are doing this to wake the adults up. We children are doing this for you to put your differences aside and start acting as you would in a crisis. We children are doing this because we want our hopes and dreams back.
“I hope my microphone was on. I hope you could all hear me.” Just as Greta wanted Congress to listen to the scientists, I would like you to listen to her.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To learn more about the Guidance Center’s innovative programs, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
During the early months of each year, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center conducts an informal study in an attempt to understand who is calling us for help and what needs they’re calling us about. In recent years, the trend has been that most of the children and teens we see are experiencing depression, often coupled with anxiety.
Approximately 1 in 5 teens experience major depression, but about 60% do not receive treatment.
While everyone can have a bad day or two that eventually passes, with serious depression there is a more intense and prolonged feeling of hopelessness and inability to function in the important areas of one’s life, at school, at home or with peers.
“Both children and teens are at risk of depression when they experience traumatic events in their lives, such as divorce, death of a loved one, abuse or illness,” says Elissa Smilowitz, LCSWR and Coordinator of Triage & Emergency Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
But there isn’t always a dramatic event that triggers depression.
“Beginning around puberty, the risk of depression in teens increases,” says Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director at the Guidance Center. “Their bodies are changing, and they’re experiencing hormonal fluctuations that can make them irritable and moody.”
During the teen years, peers become the number one influence in each other’s lives, but that doesn’t mean your role as a parent is any less significant. “Even though you feel them pulling away, your teens still need you during this time,” says Barros-Rivera. “They are more likely to begin engaging in risky behavior, so your influence is as important as ever. They need you to help them develop good judgment.”
Along with adolescence comes a whole host of new pressures. Schoolwork, body image, sexual orientation and peer pressure all can combine to make a teen feel overwhelmed.
So, while moodiness is a hallmark for adolescents, how do you know when your teen is experiencing depression and might need professional treatment?
Here are some signs that may indicate depression:
Withdrawal from friends and family
Anxiety
Low self-esteem
Increased anger
Worry about loss of control
Crying often
Inability to feel joy
Changes in appetite (either increased or decreased)
Sleeping more or less than usual
Feeling tired
Changes in grades or attitude toward school
Having trouble concentrating
Physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches
Use of drugs and/or alcohol
Expressing thoughts of suicide or wanting to die
Remember, it’s important that a medical doctor examine your teen since some symptoms of depression can have a physical cause such as thyroid problems, diabetes or other conditions. It may also run in families.
If you begin to see several of these symptoms lasting two weeks or more, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at 516-626-1971.
Note: For some helpful tips on preventing depression in your child or teen, click here for an article from the Mayo Clinic.
I just finished reading an op-ed piece that was published in the Hofstra Chronicle, entitled: “Anti-Semitism is alive and well at Hofstra” (Sept. 12). The author – Leilah Abelman, moved from San Diego to attend college at Hofstra last year. Abelman, an orthodox Jew wrote: “What I discovered was that anti-Semitism is alive and more insidious than I had expected.”
Her introduction to anti-Semitism occurred before she even stepped foot on campus. When two roommates assigned to her suite discovered that she and another roommate were religious Jews, they opted out. And, then early in her first semester when she told a professor that she would be absent from class during the Jewish high holy days, she was advised that she should reevaluate her religious beliefs.
Shortly after the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh in which 11 Jews were shot, she recalled, “another professor asked the class to discuss whether the shooter was “truly evil.” Many students expressed the belief that the shooter, who murdered 11 innocent Jewish people, could not be considered evil as he did what he believed was right.”
When Abelman expressed her discomfort with one professor asking the class to “imagine a world without Jews in it,” she was told by him to be “less sensitive.” She went on to address her concerns about these and other incidents with university administration and was told that since no university rules had been broken there was nothing they could do about it.
On page 9 of the Hofstra University Handbook, 2019-2012, Dean of Students Gabrielle St. Léger greets the campus community and speaks to the values expected of all Hofstra students regarding the importance of taking personal and social responsibility – and contributing to the greater campus community. The values she cited include: demonstrating respect for yourself and those around you, focusing on acting with integrity and developing into an ethical leader, and exploring the rich diversity around you.
According to Abelman, “Anti-Semitism at Hofstra may be more subtle than a swastika spray-painted onto a Jewish professor’s office door, which happened at Columbia University last year. However, it is just as dangerous.”
Abelman concluded her commentary by stating that she is tired of being ignored by the administration and “told by professors and students alike that anti-Semitism isn’t a real problem, or that it’s not as bad as other forms of racism and bigotry plaguing this nation.”
As the 2019 Jewish high holy days are upon us, we owe a debt of gratitude to Leilah Abelman, who had the courage to speak out and, in so doing, exemplified one of Hofstra’s core values: acting with integrity and developing into an ethical leader.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Louis P. Iglesias, honoree at the Guidance Center’s upcoming Celestial Soirée gala.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center has announced that Louis P. Iglesias, President and Chief Executive Officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., will be the honoree at our Celestial Soirée, which will take place on Oct. 24 at the Garden City Hotel.
“I am proud to put my full support behind North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center,” said Iglesias. “Mental health issues are often misunderstood and can cause lifelong struggles, especially for children. Many will suffer from these issues or will be exposed to those who are. The Guidance Center deals with these tough problems head on and truly makes a big difference in our entire community.”
The co-chairs for this year’s gala are John J. Bender, CEO, Global Reinsurance at Allied World Assurance, and Wesley D. Dupont, CEO, Global Legal & Strategy at Allied World Assurance. Journal co-chairs are Nancy and Lewis B. Lane. The emcee is Stacey Sager, of Channel 7’s Eyewitness News.
“At Allied World, community support is a priority,” said Dupont. “The Guidance Center offers a vital service that benefits local families in need, and we are proud that Lou Iglesias is being honored by an organization that brings hope and healing to so many.”
Emcee Sager spoke eloquently of the need to provide help for children and teens during difficult times. “We all want our children to soar, but let’s not be ashamed to help them weather the turbulence,” she said. “As a mother of two from Long Island, it is my greatest hope that resources such as the Guidance Center can give families and children the tools we need to be at our strongest… especially when life gets bumpy!”
Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff noted that the Guidance Center is proud of its commitment to provide essential mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay. “The generous support of our donors and sponsors at the Celestial Soirée will help us to maintain the highest standard and quality of care to our community,” he said.
The gala will feature delicious food, live music, dancing and fabulous auction and raffle prizes. All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about becoming a sponsor or an underwriter or purchasing tickets, please visit www.northshorechildguidance.org/events, call (516) 626-1971 ext. 309 or email pmadden@northshorechildguidance.org.
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 26, 2019 — North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is proud to announce that Louis P. Iglesias, President and Chief Executive Officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., will be the honoree at our Celestial Soirée, which will take place on October 24th, 2019 at the Garden City Hotel.
“I am proud to put my full support behind North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center,” said Iglesias. “Mental health issues are often misunderstood and can cause lifelong struggles, especially for children. Many will suffer from these issues or will be exposed to those who are. The Guidance Center deals with these tough problems head on and truly makes a big difference in our entire community.”
The co-chairs for this year’s gala are John J. Bender, CEO, Global Reinsurance at Allied World Assurance, and Wesley D. Dupont, CEO, Global Legal & Strategy at Allied World Assurance. Journal co-chairs are Nancy and Lewis B. Lane. The emcee is Stacey Sager, of Channel 7’s Eyewitness News.
“At Allied World, community support is a priority,” said Dupont. “The Guidance Center offers a vital service that benefits local families in need, and we are proud that Lou Iglesias is being honored by an organization that brings hope and healing to so many.”
Emcee Sager spoke eloquently of the need to provide help for children and teens during difficult times. “We all want our children to soar, but let’s not be ashamed to help them weather the turbulence,” she said. “As a mother of two from Long Island, it is my greatest hope that resources such as the Guidance Center can give families and children the tools we need to be at our strongest… especially when life gets bumpy!”
Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff noted that the Guidance Center is proud of its commitment to provide essential mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay. “The generous support of our donors and sponsors at the Celestial Soirée will help us to maintain the highest standard and quality of care to our community,” he said.
The gala will feature delicious food, live music, dancing and fabulous auction and raffle prizes. All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about becoming a sponsor or an underwriter or purchasing tickets, please visit www.northshorechildguidance.org/events, call (516) 626-1971 ext. 309 or email pmadden@northshorechildguidance.org.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Caption: Co-chairs John M. Zenir, Allison Cacace and Robert C. Mangi at the Children’s Center benefit.
On Thursday evening Sept.19, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted a fundraiser for its Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court. The event, which was held at Tesoro’s Ristorante Cucini Italiana in Westbury, featured wonderful entertainment by the High Note band, along with cocktails and a buffet dinner.
The event raised over $20,000 for the Children’s Center, which provides care and early learning to more than 1,400 children annually, ages 6 weeks – 12 years, while their parents or guardians are conducting court business.
Andrew Malekoff, executive director of the Guidance Center, thanked Joan Antonik and Corinthian Sistrunk, the Children’s Center two full-time staff members, along with the valued volunteers who make the Children’s Center a place of learning, fun and warmth.
He also acknowledged Laurie Joseph-Yehuda and Rene Joseph, the daughter and widow of the late Burton S. Joseph, founder of the Children’s Center. Laurie is a member of the Children’s Center Advisory Council and Rene painted the beautiful murals on the wall of the Children’s Center many years ago.
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of The Leeds Place (under which the Children’s Center operates), thanked co-chairs Allison Cacace, Robert C. Mangi and John Zenir for their dedication to the fourth annual event.
“This fundraiser is critical for the Children’s Center, as funds for it have been drastically cut over the years,” she said. “With the help of all of our supporters, we are able to keep the Center open full time.”
“I am proud to have participated in this fourth annual fundraiser for the Children’s Center,” said co-chair Mangi. “One source of that pride is the number of family law attorneys who supported the children in this endeavor.”
Co-chair Zenir expressed his gratitude to all of the Children’s Center supporters “for helping to provide a safe place for the children while their parents are appearing in court regarding such emotionally tragic cases as domestic violence, neglect and abuse, custody, foster care and child support. For many of these kids their time at the Center helps to assure them that many people care about them and want to help them just be kids.”
The fundraiser was sponsored by an array of local law firms, individuals and other businesses, including Anita & Robert Nigro, Esq.; Aiello, DiFalco & Gianakos, LLP; Barnes, Catterson, LoFrumento, Barnes, LLP; Casino One Limousines; Dimascio & Associates LLP; Ezdrin & Woods, PC; Family of Hon. Burton S. Joseph; Gassman Baiamonte Gruner, PC; Gold Coast Funding, Inc.; Mangi & Graham, LLP; Mark A. Green, PC; Patricia Manzo, Esq.; Mejias, Milgrim & Alvarado, PC; Pessala Family; Sahn Ward Coschignano, PLLC; Spano Abstract Service Corp.; and John M. Zenir, Esq., PC.
Co-chairs John M. Zenir, Allison Cacace and Robert C. Mangi at the Children’s Center benefit.
Roslyn Heights, NY, September 25, 2019 — On Thursday evening September 19th, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted a fundraiser for its Children’s Center at Nassau County Family Court. The event, which was held at Tesoro’s Ristorante Cucini Italiana in Westbury, featured wonderful entertainment by the High Note band, along with cocktails and a buffet dinner.
The event raised over $20,000 for the Children’s Center, which provides care and early learning to more than 1,400 children annually, ages 6 weeks – 12 years, while their parents or guardians are conducting court business.
Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director of the Guidance Center, thanked Joan Antonik and Corinthian Sistrunk, the Children’s Center two full-time staff members, along with the valued volunteers who make the Children’s Center a place of learning, fun and warmth. He also acknowledged Laurie Joseph-Yehuda and Rene Joseph, the daughter and widow of the late Honorable Burton S. Joseph, founder of the Children’s Center. Laurie is a member of the Children’s Center Advisory Council and Rene painted the beautiful murals on the wall of the Children’s Center many years ago.
Dr. Nellie Taylor-Walthrust, Director of The Leeds Place (under which the Children’s Center operates), thanked co-chairs Allison Cacace, Robert C. Mangi, Esq. and John Zenir, Esq., PC, for their dedication to the fourth annual event. “This fundraiser is critical for the Children’s Center, as funds for it have been drastically cut over the years,” she said. “With the help of all of our supporters, we are able to keep the Center open full time.”
“I am proud to have participated in this fourth annual fundraiser for the Children’s Center,” said co-chair Mangi. “One source of that pride is the number of family law attorneys who supported the children in this endeavor.”
Co-chair Zenir expressed his gratitude to all of the Children’s Center supporters “for helping to provide a safe place for the children while their parents are appearing in court regarding such emotionally tragic cases as domestic violence, neglect and abuse, custody, foster care and child support. For many of these kids their time at the Center helps to assure them that many people care about them and want to help them just be kids.”
The fundraiser was sponsored by an array of local law firms, individuals and other businesses, including Anita & Robert Nigro, Esq.; Aiello, DiFalco & Gianakos, LLP; Barnes, Catterson, LoFrumento, Barnes, LLP; Casino One Limousines; Dimascio & Associates LLP; Ezdrin & Woods, PC; Family of Hon. Burton S. Joseph; Gassman Baiamonte Gruner, PC; Gold Coast Funding, Inc.; Mangi & Graham, LLP; Mark A. Green, PC; Patricia Manzo, Esq.; Mejias, Milgrim & Alvarado, PC; Pessala Family; Sahn Ward Coschignano, PLLC; Spano Abstract Service Corp.; and John M. Zenir, Esq., PC.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; trauma; and family crises stemming from illness, death and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
When I get change from a purchase at a store that has a tip jar on the counter I sometimes leave all or part of it.
When I check out electronically at the grocery, there is a prompt that asks me if I want to contribute some or all of my change to a worthy cause. Sometimes I do that too. I’ve heard more than a few people questioning the tip jar and electronic charity button at various stores. Also the practice of tipping in general.
At restaurants, I’m a fairly generous tipper. People question tipping as well, which reminds of a classic scene from the movie Reservoir Dogs. A group of men, all of whom have been given aliases by the kingpin, are plotting a crime. They have just finished their meal at what appears to be a diner. Here is a part of that dialogue:
Nice Guy Eddie: C’mon, throw in a buck! Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don’t tip. Nice Guy Eddie: You don’t tip? Mr. Pink: I don’t believe in it. Nice Guy Eddie: You don’t believe in tipping? Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make [squat]. Mr. Pink: Don’t give me that. She don’t make enough money, she can quit. I don’t tip because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I’ll tip if somebody really deserves a tip. If they really put forth the effort, I’ll give them something extra. But I mean, this tipping automatically, it’s for the birds. I mean, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just doing their job.
When I see homeless people or street performers with cups or open instrument cases on the sidewalk or in the train station, I typically drop something in — pocket change or a bill. This is not the extent of my philanthropy, but it makes me wonder if I am a soft touch. I don’t think so because when it comes to phone solicitations I’m not so nice. I almost always think they’re charlatans.
I never had a job where I solicited or received tips. Although, maybe when I was a kid and signed up for “youth employment services,” and I’d help someone move out of their apartment or wash their windows or do whatever they needed. One of those probably threw me a few extra bucks. When I shoveled snow I don’t remember ever getting a tip, just a straight transaction with the homeowner.
Maybe that’s why I’m always delighted to find loose change on the street or sidewalk. I like to go for walks very early in the morning when it is dark out and most everyone else is inside. The street lights make the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters shine. They’re easy to find. It’s like my tips are being mystically refunded.
Sunrise makes it easier to see the bills. I’ve found ones, fives, tens and twenties. Jackpot! Sometimes I buy lottery tickets with the bigger bills I find. And then I lose what I found. I like the coins best.
Whenever I pick up coins from the ground it reminds me of my childhood in the 1950s when you could actually buy something of value with loose change, even for a penny: a piece of bubblegum, a candy bar, a comic book — and you could even buy a hot dog, hamburger or bag of French fries with a handful of coins. It was always exciting to buy something with pocket change.
For today’s kids, it takes a $5 bill and change to buy a hamburger.
I don’t look to my cell phone when I walk in the early morning hours. I look to the ground and find memories.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Finding yourself yawning constantly because your babies, toddlers or preschoolers don’t sleep through the night? You may want to attend a free pediatric sleep workshop at 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 3 at the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Right From the Start location in Manhasset.
Certified pediatric sleep consultant Corey Wilbur of Port Washington, founder of her own consulting business called Let There Be Sleep, will talk to parents about how to help their children get the right amount of rest so that the whole family isn’t tired.
“I’m just working with families to help them get their little ones to sleep through the night,” Wilbur says. She’ll be talking about making sure the sleep environment is safe and conducive to sleep, napping schedules, and four basic methods of sleep training.
The session is for anyone from expectant parents to parents of 4-year-olds, Wilbur says; she has two boys herself, ages 2 and 4. Advance registration isn’t required; children may attend, but there is no baby-sitting available. The center is at 80 N. Service Rd. of the Long Island Expressway, Manhasset. For more information, call 516-626-1971 or visit northshorechildguidance.org.
In August 2019 the news was dominated by stories about the horrific mass shootings in Gilroy, Calif.; El Paso, Odessa and Midland, Texas; and Dayton, Ohio. In all, 41 died and more than 90 were wounded.
Among the dead and injured were children. As for the count of those who were emotionally impacted, that cannot be quantified. It transcends the boundaries of those locales.
In a familiar refrain, at the same time that the headlines screamed, the nation mourned and politicians took sides about causes and solutions. There was also a series of stories about efforts to institute mental health days in public schools, including in New York.
It’s not complicated to understand the value of a mental health day unless you are someone who denies that emotional health is as important as physical health. As it stands, New York schools can determine what constitutes a legitimate absence, but the proposed legislation would make a mental health issue an acceptable reason for a student missing school.
Laws like this have already passed in Oregon thanks to the leadership of a number of student activists who pointed to ever-climbing suicide rates. Utah and Minnesota have passed similar laws. Still, the proposed legislation has its detractors, many of whom dismissed the notion in a disparaging manner. Following are a few comments that were posted on social media:
“Of course there are students with serious mental health issues. This would/should already be recognized and documented by professional mental health practitioners. Why do we need legislation to allow [kids] who are too stressed over texting all night to take a day off?”
“Kids need to suck it up & go to school. I didn’t have mental health days; my parents raised me with manners, to respect others, go to school and never quit, and if I ever got into trouble I got punished! Kids today are not being disciplined, have zero manners & act like babies.”
“Snow-flakes have mental health issues. They are emotional wrecks over ANYTHING that upsets them… Yes, there are serious mental health issues, but cry rooms in college and days off because you had a fight with a BFF? Please, this is a MAJOR offense to the REAL mental issues like gun violence.”
“We just keep getting softer and softer… The greatest generation must be just heartbroken that we’ve let it get this bad.”
“I cant go to class today ‘ma im questioning my sexual identity.”
“LMFAO!! Bunch of pansies.”
Of course, not everyone took that viewpoint. As one parent put it, “I for one am glad. As a parent of a teen that has thought of suicide [and] actively self-harms, this will relieve some of my stress and anxiety.”
In reading the critical social media posts, I get where some of these people are coming from. I am a strong work ethic guy. As a former high school and college athlete, I learned early on about “sucking it up,” playing injured and keeping my mouth shut. As for discussing emotional issues, that was a no-no.
Times have changed and for the better. Having a strong work ethic is a question of values, which is not negated by saying when you are hurt — physically or emotionally. Being open about a mental health problem is not a sign of weakness or a sign that you’re a “snowflake,” implying an unwarranted sense of entitlement or being overly emotional.
On balance, the new legislation will go a long way toward reducing the stigma of mental illness and tempering the toxic masculinity that enabled me to keep concussions a secret during my teenage years.
The mass shootings? As the debate about causes and solutions advances, the level of anxiety and fear among our children is escalating. Would a mental health day following a mass shooting be justified? Or is that just another snowflake excuse to miss school? Let’s hope it’s the former because the day it is not is the day America cashes in its humanity.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Manhasset, NY, August 29, 2019 —Do you have any infant or toddler who has trouble getting on a regular sleep schedule? You’re not alone! Many parents aren’t sure how to help their children get the right amount of sleep—and that means the whole family is tired.
On October 3rd, 2019, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be holding a free Pediatric Sleep Workshop at its Marks Family Right From the Start 0-3+ Center, located at 80 North Service Road, L.I.E., Manhasset. The presenter will be Corey Wilbur, a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Licensed Family Therapist and founder of Let There Be Sleep LLC.
Wilbur, a Port Washington mother of two boys, experienced the difficulties of getting her first child on a regular sleep schedule, which led her to want to help other parents facing similar problems.
“I was an exhausted and frustrated parent who had tried everything after the birth of my first son, who had colic,” she says. “I struggled to get him to sleep more than an hour or two in a row at night.”
During the day her son would only nap while being held. “I saw no relief in sight,” says Wilbur. “I wasn’t able to truly enjoy being a mom. Instead, my life revolved around trying to get my son to sleep and taking cat-naps whenever I could.”
A colleague recommended that Wilbur use a Certified Sleep Consultant, and she was glad she took that advice. After implementing the suggestions of the Sleep Consultant, in just under two weeks her son went from waking every 2-3 hours at night to sleeping 11-12 consecutive hours at night, as well as taking 90-minute naps by himself.
“It was absolutely amazing!” says Wilbur. “I couldn’t believe how much better I felt and how much more I enjoyed being a mom. I wanted to tell every tired parent how they, too, could get a good night’s rest.”
At the workshop, Wilbur will share tips for parents of young children (ages 4 months—2 years), including:
Establishing healthy sleep routines at each age and stage
Setting safe sleep spaces that also improve the quality of sleep
Reducing sleep associations
Reducing cat napping and night wakings
Vanessa McMullan, who heads up the Guidance Center’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, says the workshop is a terrific way to help parents to get concrete tips on approaching sleep problems. “Lack of sleep is a big source of stress for many moms and dads, too,” says McMullan. “When children aren’t sleeping, their parents aren’t sleeping, so they are less equipped to handle their responsibilities. It has an effect on the whole family.”
For more information about this free workshop, please contact Vanessa McMullan at the Guidance Center, (516) 484-3174, extension 415 or email VMcMullan@northshorechildguidance.org.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; trauma; and family crises stemming from illness, death and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
