Featuring Elissa Smilowitz, WCWP radio, March 24, 2020
This show is a joint effort of Richard Solomon, Esq., WCWP 88.1FM, the Nassau County Bar Association, and the North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center to help all of us who are currently “sheltering in place” and “social distancing” during this difficult time.
(The Continuing Legal Education –CLE– course code appears both in the audio and visual portions of the show for those seeking credit).
Our expert is LCSW Elissa J. Smilowitz who discusses the psychological perspectives of the current pandemic. Questions were submitted in advance of the broadcast and involve establishing routines, reducing news consumption, taking care of yourself, the reality of children at home while parents need to tele-commute and other dimensions of the current situation. For attorneys, this is a opportunity to listen to a very timely CLE.
Speaking of CLE credit – you can find other classes from the Nassau County Bar Association on this channel using the following links:
Nassau County Bar Association’s (NCBA) CLE on the radio 2019 – Electronic Discovery 101 https://youtu.be/beK0GdpaJaQ NCBA CLE– 11-18-19
Please note that Elissa is the coordinator of triage and emergency services making her highly qualified to discuss this topic.
This class is appropriate for everyone facing the challenges of the outbreak and are looking for validation of the difficulties and strategies to stay calm and move forward. Stay safe and please follow all guidelines published by the various authorities.
By Jenna Kern-Rugile is Director of Communications at North Shore Child Guidance – Blank Slate Media, March 28, 2020
Everyone, regardless of their age, has been thrown for a loop by this strange, new reality we are all living in. The coronavirus — in particular, COVID19 — has impacted our lives in ways we never could have anticipated.
This is an especially scary time for kids, whose routines have been turned upside down. But how do we make sure our children aren’t overwhelmed by fear of this disease?
First, some good news: So far, it appears that the virus produces mild symptoms in children. It has been serious (and yes, even deadly), but the vast majority of people who have died have had significant underlying health issues.
Of course, we can’t be certain what will unfold as the virus continues to spread globally. And, even if they are reassured that the virus is unlikely to cause them direct harm, children are very worried about their parents and grandparents.
With so much still unknown, it’s hard not to let the worry train go off the rails.
Whether you are just mildly concerned, extremely worried or somewhere in between, it’s crucial that you remain calm so that you don’t burden your children with unnecessary angst.
“As a parent, you need to be very careful not to put your fears and anxieties onto your child,” said Dr. Sue Cohen, director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “Even if you’re feeling very anxious, you don’t want to catastrophize.”
What you choose to tell your child depends in part on their age. “Give them information in amounts they can handle according to their developmental level,” said Cohen. “There’s no need to bombard them with the whole CDC report. They need bits of information that are easily understandable.”
It’s important to clarify any misconceptions they may have, she added. “Ask your kids what they have heard about the virus, so you’ll understand where their fears are coming from. As is the case with any situation, let them know you are available to speak to them about any concerns they might have.”
You want your kids and teens to feel like they have some power when so much is out of their control. One way to do that is to share with them the best hygienic practices to prevent them from catching the virus, as well as a cold or any type of respiratory illness. Said Cohen, “Be their role model when it comes to hand washing and other preventive measures.”
Some other helpful tips:
• Create a daily schedule that lays out time for such activities as schoolwork, walks and exercise, screen time, chores, meals and creative time.
• Try to get your kid outside each day, as weather permits. Though they shouldn’t be playing with friends, they can play with each other, with you or on their own — but don’t be surprised if they need you more than usual.
• Use technology to keep them connected to their friends, grandparents and other important people in their lives. Social distancing does not need to mean social isolation.
• It’s a great time to encourage reading. You can even do a family “read-in,” where you choose a book appropriate for everyone and take turns reading, or listen together to an audiobook.
• Your local libraries may be closed, but they’re still a wonderful resource. Visit their websites to learn about activities you can do to keep your kids happy while they learn and play.
• Encourage your children to take up a new hobby or explore something they have expressed interest in. Many different companies are providing free classes in art, yoga, music and a slew of other activities.
• Keep their exposure to the news limited, which is good advice for adults, too.
• If your child’s fears are intense, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which can provide therapeutic services remotely.
How to Get Help
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is available to help you and your children handle the heightened anxieties that are prevalent during this difficult time.
Their therapists are seamlessly conducting sessions for both new and existing clients via telephone and video conferences.
Call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971, or email info@northshorechildguidance.org. For more information, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
By Jennifer Pearlman, LMHC at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
I keep waiting for this to end so I can tell my family and friends about this crazy, unrealistic movie I watched about the entire world shutting down over a contagious virus called COVID-19. And then I must remind myself that this is not a movie, it is the current reality of the entire world.
Everyone is now in a scramble, trying to adjust to the “new normal.” We are all being severely impacted by this pandemic in very real, serious ways. Loss of life, loss of jobs, loss of stability and security, loss of education, loss of business, loss of human contact and socialization and loss of control. That is a lot of loss.
While many people are making sure to take care of their physical needs (washing their hands, stocking up on food, social distancing, etc.), we need to take care of our emotional needs as well. We are in completely unchartered territory and, in a matter of days, we have gone into a state of complete uncertainty, fear and unpredictability. There is an understandable and palpable increase in people’s feelings of anxiety and depression.
The question is, how do we make sure to address our emotional needs during this crisis? Often, we go into “autopilot” mode and focus on taking care of everyone else’s needs, but we manage to let our own needs fall to the wayside. As therapists, we feel this need to take care of everyone else’s anxiety and panic, to help others through this crisis. We are wired to help people.
The anxiety and panic that people are experiencing is so real and so palpable. We have no idea how things will play out. Many of our clients are reaching out for help. Many parents are at a loss as to what to tell their children, or how to help their kids when their own anxiety levels are through the roof.
As therapists, it is imperative that we remember that in order to be able to take care of others, we must take care of ourselves as well. I’ve had so many fellow therapists reach out asking how they are supposed to help their clients through this crisis, when they themselves are falling apart and barely functioning. I am going to give a couple of suggestions that I have personally found extremely helpful.
1. NORMALIZE YOUR OWN ANXIETY: You are not superhuman and it is COMPLETELY NORMAL to be feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety over the change, uncertainty and fear surrounding this new pandemic. Trying to “get over it” or minimizing your anxiety is only going to make it worse. Think of what you would tell your clients. Just as you would validate your clients’ anxieties surrounding what is going on, make sure you are validating your own anxiety as well.
2. IDENTIFY TRIGGERS AND LIMIT THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE: The news media and social media are two of the biggest triggers that have been raising people’s anxiety, panic and hysteria. While it is important to stay up to date and know what is going on (mandatory quarantines, shutdowns, school closures and more) it is not necessary to incessantly check every single update and every new confirmed case of the Coronavirus. When the news puts up videos of empty shelves in grocery stores, it leads people to a complete state of panic where they feel the need to rush out and stock up on inordinate amounts of food. There is a lot of misinformation out there, especially being posted on social media. If you are easily triggered by these things, please do yourself a favor and limit or take a break from it for as long as you need. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that certain things are just not working for us. In fact, it can be extremely empowering and brave. Watching all these reports and seeing the barrage of messages posted on social media can be very detrimental to our mental health, and it is not productive.
3. SELF-CARE: I cannot stress this enough. Self-care is like oxygen during a time like this. We need it to survive. You may have to get a little bit creative in thinking about how to go about that (with everyone home and in tight quarters), but there are plenty of things to do that don’t involve going out to the spa and getting a massage. You can read for 30 minutes with a hot chocolate and your feet up on your couch; you can go run around the block for a jog; you can take a bubble bath and listen to relaxing music; you can Facetime a friend and just talk; you can watch your favorite movie…. Figure out what works for you and make sure to set aside some time to do it, daily!
4. FOCUS ON THE THINGS THAT ARE IN YOUR CONTROL: While there are many things that are completely out of our control, which has contributed to the fear a lot of us are feeling, there are still things that are very much in our control, and it is extremely helpful to put our energy and focus on that. We can control how much time we spend reading the news and going on social media; how we choose to use our time; how we take care of ourselves and our families; our perspective; and our attitude and behavior.
5. RADICAL ACCEPTANCE: ACCEPTING THE THINGS THAT WE CANNOT CHANGE. While difficult to achieve, this can be very liberating. We spend so much time and energy on things that are way beyond our control, which generally only increases our feelings of fear, anger and sadness. By fully accepting the way things are, we are not discounting our feelings around what is going on; we are simply acknowledging that it is beyond our control.
6. THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO GRIEVE: A close friend of mine suddenly and tragically lost a very close relative of hers. I remember going over there that night and, while there wasn’t much I could say other than just hug her and cry with her, I remember the one thing I told her family. There is no one way to grieve. Everyone has different responses to trauma and grief, and we need to accept where people are in the process. The same is true for what is going on now. There is no one way to handle a crisis. Everyone needs to figure out what works for them, and we need to be tolerant and accept people’s responses, even when they vary greatly from ours. Some people will need to talk about it a lot, while others prefer not to. Some will choose to self-quarantine out of precaution, others will choose not to. There is no one right way. Remember that. Don’t impose your opinions and beliefs on others, just be there to support each other through this really hard time. We are all in this together.
7. BE PREPARED, NOT PANICKED: There is a big difference between taking precautions and being prepared and being panicked. Panicked is going out and buying 12 years’ worth of toilet paper. Being prepared is having enough supplies in the house in case there is a mandatory lockdown or quarantine for 14 days. The panic and mass hysteria are what leads to people feeling the need to hoard items and food so there is a complete shortage of certain supplies, further increasing the panic and hysteria. Take precautions. Prepare but try not to panic.
8. STRUCTURE: Even if you are in quarantine, it can be extremely helpful to add structure to your day. Wake up, get dressed, take a walk outside, do an exercise video, get work done on the computer, make lunch….create a routine for yourself that works and try to stick to it as much as you possibly can.
9. SOCIAL DISTANCING DOESN’T MEAN SOCIAL ISOLATION: Just because we need to physically distance ourselves from others doesn’t mean we need to isolate. Pick up the phone and reach out to family and friends. FaceTime those who are close to you. It can be extremely lonely to be at home and not be able to go out. Make sure to reach out and find other ways to connect to people.
10. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME: Don’t start thinking eight months down the road and catastrophizing that your kids are never going back to school. Focus on putting one foot in front of another and taking one day at a time. You just need to get through today, and you will worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Mindfulness and meditation can be a really helpful way to train yourself to stay focused on the present moment. There are many apps available that can help you with this.
11. REACH OUT FOR HELP IF YOU NEED: There is no shame in acknowledging you need help. Almost all therapists and agencies are now offering Telehealth, so you don’t need to leave your home to get the support.
While these are extremely trying and scary times for everyone, this is going to pass. It may take some time, but we have survived pandemics in the past and we will survive this one as well. We are all in this together. Sending lots of love and support everyone’s way.
Roslyn Heights, NY, March 2, 2020— More than 50 fans of Jeopardy and Trivial Pursuit had a terrific night as North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center hosted its second annual Trivia Night on February 27th at Gino’s Trattoria and Pizzeria of New Hyde Park.
The fun-filled fundraiser featured unlimited wine, beer, soft drinks and appetizers, along with trivia from movies, music, sports and more. Most importantly, it helped support the Guidance Center’s many programs to help kids and teens with issues such as depression, anxiety and substance use disorder.
Jeff Greenblatt, Assistant Counsel Regulatory at PSEG Long Island and co-chair of Trivia Night, was excited to play a role in the event. “Long Island is a special place,” said the Roslyn resident. “It’s where I grew up, work and raise my family. I always feel good anytime I’m able to give back to the local community. That’s why it’s such an easy decision to support an agency like the Guidance Center now and in the future.”
The event’s other co-chair, Syosset’s Josh Brookstein, Partner at Sahn Ward Coschignano PLLC, said the Trivia Night fundraiser was a terrific way to have a great time while supporting the lifesaving work of the Guidance Center: “Whether it is providing youngsters with a safe place to play while their grown-ups deal with contentious matters in Nassau County Family Court, or it is providing critical early childhood and mental health care, the Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the well-being of all children and their families.”
Guidance Center Board President Paul Vitale, who spoke at the event, thanked the co-chairs, attendees and event sponsors Anton Media, DG Capital, PSEG Long Island and Sahn Ward Coschignano. “Jeff and Josh did a wonderful job bringing their many friends and colleagues out to have loads of fun in a friendly and spirited competition,” said Vitale. “We are so grateful to everyone who came out to support the Guidance Center’s lifesaving work.”
The annual event will be held again next year in February and is open to the public.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
It’s all over the news and social media. The coronavirus—in particular, COVID19—has people of all ages understandably concerned. When a director at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tells the public to be prepared for a “significant disruption” of their routines, it certainly raises red flags.
But how do we make sure our children aren’t overwhelmed by fear of this disease?
First, some good news to help ease your mind: So far, it appears that the virus produces mild symptoms in children. It has been serious (and yes, even deadly), but people who have died have had significant underlying health issues.
Of course, we can’t be certain what will unfold as the virus continues to spread globally. With so much still unknown, it’s hard not to let the worry train go off the rails.
Whether you are barely concerned at all, extremely worried or somewhere in between, it’s crucial that you remain calm so that you don’t burden your children with unnecessary angst.
“As a parent, you need to be very careful not to put your fears and anxieties onto your child,” says Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Early Childhood and Psychological Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. “Even if you’re feeling very anxious, you don’t want to catastrophize.”
What you choose to tell your child depends in part on their age. “Give them information in amounts they can handle according to their developmental level,” says Dr. Cohen. “There’s no need to bombard them with the whole CDC report. They need bits of information that are easily understandable.”
It’s important to clarify any misconceptions they may have, she adds. “Ask your kids what they have heard about the virus, so you’ll understand where their fears are coming from. As is the case with any situation, let them know you are available to speak to them about any concerns they might have.”
Tips on Avoiding Viruses
Finally, share with them the best hygienic practices to prevent them from catching the virus, as well as a cold or any type of respiratory illness (see below). Says Dr. Cohen, “Be their role model when it comes to handwashing and other preventive measures.”
Avoid close contact with people who are sick.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.
Stay home when you are sick.
Cover your cough or sneeze with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash.
Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces using a regular household cleaning spray or wipe.
Follow CDC’s recommendations for using a facemask.
CDC does not recommend that people who are well wear a facemask to protect themselves from respiratory diseases, including COVID-19.
Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially after going to the bathroom; before eating; and after blowing your nose, coughing or sneezing.
If soap and water are not readily available, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol. Always wash hands with soap and water if hands are visibly dirty.
Community members attended the March for Change in honor of Thomas Valva on Feb. 8 at Heckscher State Park in Suffolk County. Credit: Shelby Knowles
My head is still spinning after reading “How the system failed Tommy” [News, Feb. 16], a story about the tragic death of 8-year-old Thomas Valva.
The harrowing story has a Rashomon quality of contradictory interpretations of events by many individuals charged with protecting Thomas.
I did find a few constants in the story. Although unstated, Thomas likely experienced traumatic stress from being maltreated and then subjected to a long line of presumably well-meaning strangers, charged with determining how to best keep him safe. The other constant was his mother’s repeated warnings to the authorities that “his life is in danger.”
The system did indeed fail Thomas, yet no one individual was reported to have stated that they made any missteps.
For the sake of Thomas’ legacy, some degree of individual responsibility will have to be taken to advance systemic change.
Andrew Malekoff, Long Beach
Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of the nonprofit children’s mental health center, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights.
From left: Jacqueline M. Goode, Laura Schaefer, honoree Angela Susan Anton, Joanne K. Adams, Erin King Sweeney, Laura Curran, Laura Gillen, Silvia Cabana, Kimberly Bancroft, Patricia Reinhardt, Libby Imperio (Photos by Tab Hauser)
Philanthropy is of the utmost importance to Anton Media Group, particularly to publisher, Angela Susan Anton. In 2019, the charitable publisher continued her tireless efforts working to give back to the community while also attending many events and publicizing the fundraising efforts of many different important organizations.
A sellout crowd of 245 people joined together for North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center’s annual spring luncheon at Glen Head Country Club this past spring. The event, which supports the Guidance Center’s mission to restore and strengthen the emotional well-being of children and their families, was a record-breaker, raising more than $87,000.
The Elcano sails into Boston Harbor on April 26.
The joint ceremony and meeting held in Boston on Spain’s Training Ship, The Sebastian Elcano, on the weekend of April 26 was an overwhelming success with both “partners” agreeing on future plans to work and help spread exploration worldwide beyond 2019. It all began on the main deck of the Elcano at a Boston pier with all of the officers and crew on deck, along with the representatives of the Explorers Club (EC). Moving to the main mast, preparations took place to raise the flags of the Explorers Club followed by the Flag of Spain. Angela Susan Anton joined more than 100 people in conversation about the education of their ship and training.
Later in spring, the Belmont Child Care Association’s (BCCA) annual Spring Fling Hat Luncheon and Fashion Show was held on May 30 at the Garden City Hotel. The event honored Anton Media Group publisher Angela Susan Anton and the National Charity League-Garden City chapter. Guests donned colorful hats and welcome spring into their wardrobe. Honoree and publisher Angela Susan Anton wore a hat crafted of her own newspapers, designed by Anton Media Group’s art director Alex Nuñez and assistant art director Cathy Bongiorno. BCCA provides quality child care and education for all of the children of the working families of NYRA’s thoroughbred racetracks, year-round.
Guests enjoy the ‘80s exhibit.
Then, in June, Nassau County Museum of Art (NCMA) went back to the ’80s, hosting the “So ’80s” museum ball, which honored Joseph Graziose, the EVP of residential development and construction for RXR Realty. RXR also sponsored the ball, while NCMA board of trustees president Angela Susan Anton chaired the ball committee, along with co-chairs Lisa Lechleider and Melissa Stark. The black tie ball encouraged guests to wear their best ’80s attire, and they didn’t disappoint with pops of color and accessories fitting in with the theme. Proceeds support the museum’s art exhibitions, public and private programs, art classes, community outreach, family activities and programs for those with special needs including autism and memory loss.
In August, the Nassau County Museum of Art united art and science with energy in a groundbreaking exhibition titled, “Energy: The Power of Art.” Top-tier science and major art by Jackson Pollock, Alexander Calder, Jasper Johns, James Rosenquist, Julie Mehretu, Frank Stella, Joseph Cornell and Man Ray were fused into one dynamic and interactive exhibition. Working with the Brookhaven National Laboratory and the Tesla Museum, this innovative project juxtaposed masterworks in many media with images produced by the most advanced scientific instruments.
In October, Old Westbury Gardens hosted its annual Children in Bloom Luncheon, celebrating its 10th anniversary at Orchard Hill in Old Westbury. The theme was “Diamonds Are Forever” and the event honored Arlene Levine, a founding member of the Children in Bloom Council and a major philanthropist. Money raised from the luncheon support the educational and environmental children’s programs at Old Westbury Gardens and help children of underserved schools. Angela Susan Anton is a longtime supporter of Children In Bloom and its commitment to educating children.
Catherine Castagna and Ernie Lagoja enjoyed the festivities as the Guidance Center co-hosted an event at Brooks Brothers in Manhasset.
Roslyn Heights, NY, December 12, 2019—Earlier in December, for the second year in a row, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Centerpartnered with Americana Manhasset’s Brooks Brothers store to co-host an opening night celebration of Champions For Charity®.
The event featured live jazz, great food and drink, and wonderful conversation as shoppers took advantage of the opportunity to buy beautiful items while contributing to great causes. Twenty-five percent of the pretax price on clothing sold was donated to support the Guidance Center’s mission and that of other charities.
“We’re thrilled that North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center participates in Champions for Charity®, Americana’s annual holiday shopping event benefitting over 100 not-for-profit organizations,” said Catherine Castagna, President of Castagna Realty Co. Inc. “Their dedication to helping children and strengthening families is an inspiration, and they are an indispensable resource in our community. We are proud to support their efforts.”
Since its inception in 1996, Champions for Charity® has raised nearly $14 million. Taking an active role in the community has been an integral part of the Castagna Realty Retail Group’s mission, particularly throughout Americana Manhasset’s 63-year history.
Lauren McGowan, Director of Development at the Guidance Center, said, “We’re very grateful to everyone at Americana Manhasset and Brooks Brothers. They continue to be an invaluable supporter of our lifesaving work.”
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
From time to time, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center has used animal assisted therapy (AAT) in its mental health treatment programs with children and teens, working in partnership with local canine and equine organizations.
In animal assisted groups, the therapist works closely with the animal handler or trainer. Think of the handler as an interpreter who teaches about the animal. The handler loves to talk about the personality of the animal and its unique qualities. They can humanize how the animals “speak” and keep appropriate boundaries.
Although using dogs is a little easier to arrange logistically speaking, there are a growing number of settings that offer equine facilitated therapy. Following is an illustration of animal assisted therapy using horses that helped build social skills and self confidence in a group of young teenagers who were identified as painfully shy or socially awkward.
After they arrived at the stables, the girls and boys sat around a table. Group work with horses mostly entails ground activities. Sitting on or riding the horses is the exception. The horses were led outside and the group members were asked, “How do the horses welcome each other? How did they say hi?” Or “Look at Rusty: he looks like he is trying to get away from the others. Why do you think that is?” This opened the door for humor, as one of the more quiet boys said, “Maybe he has B.O. or bad breath.”
The handler then said, “Oh, did you see that? Rusty tried to kick that horse. Why do you think he did that?” This led the way to some discussions about anger and aggression.
In time the process became a little more sophisticated—for example, when the teens were asked, “How do the horses communicate?” The group could see that horses are powerful animals. The handler taught them that horses are prey animals that are always on the lookout. They learned that these majestic animals are instinctual and that they don’t see straight ahead but side to side, thus the rule to always stay on their side. (And, similarly, when a group is working with canine therapy, they learn not to look a dog in the eye because he can take it as aggression.)
The handler said, “See, you stay on their side because horses look side to side to scan the horizon.” Later, they learned that approaching and petting animals is a lesson in respecting one’s boundaries.
It was all about observation and metaphor, helping the young people build their observational muscles and reflect on what they saw and sensed. The activities were both direct and yet metaphorical in nature.
After a while the group members were asked, “Which horse do you want to spend some time with and why?” One group member said, “I’ll take Rusty; he’s a little shy but I think he is a tough horse and nobody’s gonna mess with him.”
Some of the teens we work with are immigrants from Central America, who escaped treacherous circumstances, and being with the horses brought back fond memories and staked a little claim to fame for them in the group. For example, Maria shared, “I know something about this. My family has horses. That one over there looks sad.”
The handler then talked about the “sad” horse’s history. Many of the horses were adopted and/or donated. This piqued the kids’ interest as the horse’s experience became a metaphor for their own dislocations and transitions. These issues were explored in a subtle, sensitive manner whereby the participants could project their feelings and experiences on the horses in an emotionally safe way.
By working with horses or dogs, children and teens learn many lessons, among them the importance of expressing their emotions, the ability to bond (both with the animal and with the other kids) and ways to keep calm and decrease stress. It’s a profound experience that can have lasting positive effects.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To learn more about the Guidance Center’s innovative programs, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
In this episode of Well Said, we’re talking about something that many may think of more as ancient history than contemporary health – the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth. Sadly, deaths related to child delivery still occur and happen at higher rates in the United States than in most other countries in the developed world. Our guests will help us understand just how risky pregnancy and childbirth are today, and why.
Special thanks to Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell first-year students Joy Achuonjei and Alec Xiang for research and production support for this program.
The law to require mental health education in New York schools is a good step [“LI Schools’ New Focus on Mental Health,” News, Nov. 28]. However, almost half of all children in the country with a mental health disorder did not receive necessary care from a mental health professional in 2016, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association.
We educate children to spot signs and symptoms and find resources – and then, in a cruel twist, many cannot access care.
Federal law requires insurers to treat mental health benefits the same as medical benefits, and to provide enrollees with timely access to a sufficient number of suitable mental health providers. This is known as network adequacy.
Too often, this does not happen, especially for middle-class and working-poor families, because health insurers pay substandard rates of reimbursement for the mental health care, thus depleting the networks. When families call for help, they are too often told, “I don’t accept your insurance.”
The health insurance industry does not comply with federal parity, and New York State does not adequately enforce the law. The state mandates mental health education in schools and lets the health insurance industry slide.
What do our kids learn? Once stigma is lifted, discrimination kicks in.
Andrew Malekoff, Long Beach
Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, a children’s mental health center in Roslyn Heights.
Misunderstanding and fear are common among people who have incorrect ideas about mental illness. The result: Young people suffering with mental health issues feel isolated, believing that there’s something innately wrong with them that can never change.
In 2018, public schools in New York State were mandated to begin educating students about mental health. Among the goals are to recognize when help is needed and to learn how to find help. This initiative was the result of long-overdue legislation signed by Governor Cuomo in 2016.
But offering instruction aimed at advancing emotional wellness and reducing stigma is not the norm everywhere. For example, trouble is brewing in a school system in Raleigh, North Carolina regarding a program that was initiated to support students’ emotional well-being.
A group of Raleigh parents who identify themselves as “Parents for the Protection of Students” hired an attorney to advocate for them against the school system’s use of “Community Circles” to build a sense of belonging and friendship.
I obtained a copy of the attorney’s letter, which was addressed to the Apex Middle School principal and which lays out the parents’ concerns. Although the school initiative in the Raleigh schools was not mental health instruction per se, it was, in essence, an effort to support the mental health of students.
Following is a portion of their attorney’s five-page letter:
“I represent PARENTS FOR THE PROTECTION OF STUDENTS, an unincorporated grassroots association of concerned Wake County parents who have been disturbed by recent actions taken by the Wake County Public School System.
“The specific concern addressed by this letter is a practice that has been instituted at Apex Middle School and perhaps other schools in the system as well – ‘the Circle’ . . . As described by our parents and their children, as well as the school’s own materials about the Circle, it is expressly intended to address ‘difficult emotions and difficult realities.’ Moreover, this activity effectively compels disclosure of highly sensitive and personal information from students, including the following [partial list]:
• What it means to “listen from and speak from the heart.” • Answering, “If you were a kind of weather today, what would it be?” • What it feels like to be “bullied.” • Talking about a “high point” and a “low point” in the student’s past week. • Describing “friendship” for the student. • Aspirations for who the student wishes to be. • Describing the student’s family. • Experiences of being “hurt” and “angry.”
“The program makes clear that its purpose is to ‘talk about [the student’s] feelings’ and furthermore that there is ‘no hiding behind a desk.’ These are not academic topics; they are topics for a group therapy session.
“Group therapy, like other forms of traditional psychological treatment and counseling, can bring great benefit to many people. But it is not within the purview of a school to conduct such treatment during the school day, without parental consent, and outside of the supervision of duly-trained and licensed psychological and counseling professionals. Therefore, we call for the immediate discontinuation of this activity.”
In researching the implementation of the Circle, what I discovered is that although school staff members were trained in implementing the Circle program, an important step was missed in planning these groups.
In my role as a licensed clinical social worker, I have worked with children and teenagers in groups since the early 1970s. I have written extensively on the subject, including the textbook, Group Work with Adolescents: Principles and Practice, now in its 3rd edition.
In the case of the Wake County School System, I believe parents are rightfully upset. From what I have been able to gather, the parents were not adequately informed about the Circle program or told that they had a choice to opt out.
Balancing the tenuous relationship among parent, child and school should be paramount when a program like the Circle is being considered. This requires foresight and careful attention, particularly before rolling out a program that is not academic in nature.
Forging a working alliance with parents of children who participate in mental health-oriented groups in a school system is essential. For a group-oriented mental health program like this to succeed in a school, this important element of planning cannot be overlooked.
Although it will require extra work to fully engage parents, in the end it will be worth the effort to implement a successful program and prevent the kind of fallout that the school system in Raleigh is now experiencing.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
A representative from makeup company lilah b. helps a Guidance Center client enjoy a day for self-care.
All moms deserve some pampering, but when you’re a mother who is experiencing postpartum depression, a day out dedicated to your wellbeing is a much-needed healing experience. This fall, the place of healing was Neiman Marcus in Roosevelt Field. The renowned retailer, which is a dedicated partner and supporter of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, offered a “Beauty Master Class” for several moms who are clients of our Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program.
The mothers were treated to a personalized makeup application from two representatives from lilah b., a natural line of beauty products made in Italy. “The lilah b. reps were just wonderful,” said Vanessa McMullan, supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset. “They talked to the moms and helped them choose the right makeup for their skin.” The mothers also went home with a gift bag of products from lilah b. McMullan also expressed her gratitude to the staff at Neiman Marcus, which has partnered with the Guidance Center for the past four years, offering a variety of beauty events and also a mentoring conference for some of our teen girl clients. “Neiman Marcus had a special room set up just for us, with extra help to care for the babies that came,” said McMullan. “All of the moms loved being together and getting some TLC. It was a perfect day!” “One of the pillars of our company is supporting the communities where Neiman Marcus stores are found,” said Neiman Marcus Roosevelt Field Vice President, General Manager Doris Wilshere. “We are thankful for the relationship that we have built with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center over the four years since our store opened. We applaud the Guidance Center for the support they provide to the many Long Island families that rely on resources like the Maternal Depression Program to live happier and healthier lives.”Neiman Marcus will be hosting more events for our Guidance Center’s maternal depression clients later this month and for the foreseeable future. To find out more, contact Vanessa McMullan at vmcmullan@northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 484-3174, ext. 415.
Roslyn Heights, NY, November 19, 2019 — All moms deserve some pampering, but when you’re a mother who is experiencing postpartum depression, a day out dedicated to your wellbeing is a much-needed healing experience.
This fall, the place of healing was Neiman Marcus in Roosevelt Field. The renowned retailer, which is a dedicated partner and supporter of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, offered a “Beauty Master Class” for several moms who are clients of our Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program. The mothers were treated to a personalized makeup application from two representatives from lilah b., a natural line of beauty products made in Italy.
“The lilah b. reps were just wonderful,” said Vanessa McMullan, Supervisor at the Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center in Manhasset. “They talked to the moms and helped them choose the right makeup for their skin.” The mothers also went home with a gift bag of products from lilah b.
McMullan also expressed her gratitude to the staff at Neiman Marcus, which has partnered with the Guidance Center for the past four years, offering a variety of beauty events and also a mentoring conference for some of our teen girl clients.
“Neiman Marcus had a special room set up just for us, with extra help to care for the babies that came,” said McMullan. “All of the moms loved being together and getting some TLC. It was a perfect day!”
“One of the pillars of our company is supporting the communities where Neiman Marcus stores are found,” said Neiman Marcus Roosevelt Field Vice President, General Manager Doris Wilshere. “We are thankful for the relationship that we have built with North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center over the four years since our store opened. We applaud the Guidance Center for the support they provide to the many Long Island families that rely on resources like the Maternal Depression Program to live happier and healthier lives.”
Neiman Marcus will be hosting more events for our Guidance Center’s maternal depression clients later this month and for the foreseeable future. To find out more, contact Vanessa McMullan at vmcmullan@northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 484-3174, ext. 415.
A representative from makeup company lilah b. helps a Guidance Center client enjoy a day for self-care.
About Us:
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is dedicated to restoring and strengthening the emotional well-being of children (from birth – age 24) and their families. Our highly trained staff of psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, vocational rehabilitation counselors and other mental health professionals lead the way in diagnosis, treatment, prevention, training, parent education, research and advocacy. The Guidance Center helps children and families address issues such as depression and anxiety; developmental delays; bullying; teen pregnancy; sexual abuse; teen drug and alcohol abuse; and family crises stemming from illness, death, trauma and divorce. For more than 65 years, the Guidance Center has been a place of hope and healing, providing innovative and compassionate treatment to all who enter our doors, regardless of their ability to pay. For more information about the Guidance Center, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
If my count is accurate, I was one of just three men (aside from the tech guy) who attended the Maternal Mental Health Conference on Oct. 2, at the Morrelly Conference Center in Bethpage. Yet the message of this conference was as germane for men—fathers, brothers, grandfathers and coworkers—as it was for mothers.
The conference was led by a terrific panel of health professionals, health educators and advocates. In the comments to follow, I will not cite any one in particular but I credit all five—Pauline Walfisch, Dr. Ariela Frieder, Vanessa McMullan, Sonia Murdoch and Phyllis Kaufman—who are all champions for pregnant and parenting moms.
We must begin with understanding the false ideal imposed upon many new moms. The ideal is that when a woman becomes pregnant, delivers a child and becomes a mother who cares for that child, everything is supposed to perfect.
Undoubtedly, some moms are able to acknowledge that being a mother is messy. They can adjust their sights, recognize that the ideal of perfection is a fantasy and adjust to the new reality of their lives. Naturally, it helps enormously to have the consistent support and understanding of their partner, family members and friends.
For some moms, though, messiness is harder to tolerate, especially when they experience what used to be known exclusively as postpartum depression and is now known as perinatal mood or anxiety disorders (PMADs for short). The latter term broadens the focus by recognizing that depression can occur during pregnancy as well as after giving birth, and that anxiety may also be a part of the picture. In other words, postpartum depression, the term most well-known by the lay public, is just one type of PMAD.
It is important here to pause and explain the difference between baby blues and clinical depression. The term baby blues represents the normal and characteristically mild ups and downs that new moms might experience for a few weeks after giving birth. Postpartum depression, on the other hand, can be the result of a confluence of stressors including the shifting of reproductive hormones following the delivery, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, isolation, inadequate partner support, poverty and health issues of mom or baby, for example.
When you couple all this with the myth of perfect maternal bliss, the result is that many moms living with PMADs suffer in silence. Anything other than 100 percent perfection evokes feelings of stigma and shame.
Some mothers who are clinically depressed live with the belief that they should just “suck it up.” Others are advised to “pray it away.” Moms are very hard on themselves; they can begin to feel hopeless and harbor the feeling that things will never get better.
The good news is that there is help. The better news is that you can help. As one of the panelists advised, just ask the question. In other words, ask how mom is doing. The focus is most often on how the baby is doing, totally disregarding the mom, which just reinforces the idea that moms should be happy, holding their own and thrilled to be a new mother.
Whether you are a partner, parent, friend or colleague—female or male—asking the question is the first step toward eliminating stigma and shame. It can make all the difference in the world for a new mom who is suffering in silence. Ask the question.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. To find out more, including information about the Guidance Center’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is thrilled to announce that its Celestial Soirée raised more than $485,000 to support the Guidance Center’s mission to bring hope and healing to children and their families who are experiencing mental health and substance use challenges.
The Oct. 24 gala, which honored Louis P. Iglesias, president and Chief Executive Officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., is the Guidance Center’s biggest fundraising event of the year.
“The Guidance Center provides an essential service to our community,” said Iglesias. “The importance of providing a safe environment to address children’s mental health issues cannot be overestimated. I am proud to be part of such a great cause.”
A dedicated group of Guidance Center supporters made the evening a huge success. They include event co-chairs John Bender and Wesley Dupont both from Allied World; journal co-chairs Nancy and Lew Lane; and emcee Stacey Sager of WABC TV’s Eyewitness News, whose grace and generous spirit made for a fantastic evening.
“We are so grateful to Lou Iglesias and co-chairs John Bender and Wes Dupont for helping us raise the funds that support our mission to bring emotional healing to children and families who are struggling with mental health issues,” said Paul Vitale, Board president at the Guidance Center. “Each year, we are blessed to have so many dedicated supporters who understand the importance of our work, and who enable us to serve 10,000 individuals each year.”
Sager, who emceed the event for the first time this year, said,“I can’t think of anything more critical than the mental health and well-being of our children. Working with a group as dedicated as the Guidance Center assures me that children and their families will always have a place to turn for the lifesaving help they may desperately need.”
A former client named John, now 17, spoke about his journey with ADHD, and how the Guidance Center’s unique Wilderness Program—which takes at-risk youth on hikes to nature settings—made all the difference in his success. “The reason the Wilderness Program is so important and helpful to people like me is because it’s a safe space for people to be able to be themselves and learn and improve at their own pace,” John told the audience. “The program made me feel like I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.” Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff expressed his gratitude to the honoree, speaker, emcee, donors, sponsors and all who worked so hard on the gala committee.
“For more than 65 years, we have been dedicated to providing mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay,” said Malekoff. “And because of the generosity of everyone involved, we will be able to continue to provide the best in care to the community.”
All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about the organization’s services, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call 516-626-1971.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is thrilled to announce that its Celestial Soirée raised over $485,000 to support the Guidance Center’s mission to bring hope and healing to children and their families who are experiencing mental health and substance use challenges.
The Oct. 24 gala, which honored Louis P. Iglesias, president and chief executive officer at Allied World Assurance Company Holdings Ltd., is the Guidance Center’s biggest fundraising event of the year.
“The Guidance Center provides an essential service to our community,” said Iglesias. “The importance of providing a safe environment to address children’s mental health issues cannot be overestimated. I am proud to be part of such a great cause.”
A dedicated group of Guidance Center supporters made the evening a huge success. They include event co-chairs John Bender and Wesley Dupont both from Allied World; journal co-chairs Nancy and Lew Lane; and emcee Stacey Sager of WABC TV’s Eyewitness News, whose grace and generous spirit made for a fantastic evening. “We are so grateful to Lou Iglesias and co-chairs John Bender and Wes Dupont for helping us raise the funds that support our mission to bring emotional healing to children and families who are struggling with mental health issues,” said Paul Vitale, board president at the Guidance Center. “Each year, we are blessed to have so many dedicated supporters who understand the importance of our work, and who enable us to serve 10,000 individuals each year.” Sager, who emceed the event for the first time this year, said,“I can’t think of anything more critical than the mental health and well-being of our children. Working with a group as dedicated as the Guidance Center assures me that children and their families will always have a place to turn for the lifesaving help they may desperately need.” A former client named John, now 17, spoke about his journey with ADHD, and how the Guidance Center’s unique Wilderness Program — which takes at-risk youth on hikes to nature settings— made all the difference in his success. “The reason the Wilderness Program is so important and helpful to people like me is because it’s a safe space for people to be able to be themselves and learn and improve at their own pace,” John told the audience. “The program made me feel like I could accomplish anything I put my mind to!”
Guidance Center Executive Director Andrew Malekoff expressed his gratitude to the honoree, speaker, emcee, donors, sponsors and all who worked so hard on the gala committee. “For more than 65 years, we have been dedicated to providing mental health services to all children and families, regardless of their ability to pay,” said Malekoff. “And because of the generosity of everyone involved, we will be able to continue to provide the best in care to the community.”
All proceeds will benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about the organization’s services, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
If your child needed a life-saving chemotherapy drug and you were told that because of a shortage you were out of luck, how would you feel? What would you do about it?
Sadly, this is no fantasy scenario. It is a 21st-century reality for treating childhood cancer. According to a recent New York Times report, “Doctors are warning that they may soon be forced to consider rationing doses” of the drug in question: vincristine. Rationing means making decisions about who gets the drug and who doesn’t.
In other words, although vincristine is an essential part of the best practices treatment regimen for pediatric cancer, some kids would not receive it; some would get it less frequently than called for, and others would be prescribed a poor substitute with more intense side effects.
As a cancer survivor, vincristine was a part of the cocktail of drugs that I received intravenously during my chemotherapy treatments for non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
My understanding, though, is that this chemotherapy drug is not used as widely for adults with cancer as for kids. In fact, the American Cancer Society reports that children represent less than 1 percent of all cancer diagnoses.
The bottom line: Apparently there is little profit incentive to produce a greater volume of vincristine, despite the fact that most kids with cancer take it and it helps save their lives, according to a recent Newsday story.
Although chemotherapy is not easy to tolerate as an adult, I cannot imagine being a young child and going through it. What is even harder to fathom is not having access to the most effective drug to treat my disease and then having to settle for a less effective and less tolerable substitute.
At present, only one pharmaceutical company – Pfizer – supplies vincristine, which is an older and more inexpensive drug. Only one other company – Teva – produced the drug but, according to the FDA, Teva “made a business decision to discontinue the product.”
In a May 9, 2018 story, the Financial Times of London explained, “When prices of older, off-patent drugs decline, manufacturers may leave the market, leaving a limited number of suppliers for certain medicines.”
According to New York Times reporter Roni Rabin, 19,000 children and teens develop cancer each year and the cure rate is 85 percent. She added that shortages create disruptions in treatment, citing the New England Journal of Medicine which noted that “in 2013, 83 percent of oncologists said that they were unable to prescribe the chemotherapy agent they wanted to use because of a shortage and that they had to substitute a different drug or delay treatment.”
Dr. Peter Adamson, chair of the Children’s Oncology Group, stated in the New York Times story: “It’s hard enough for any family having a kid with cancer, and having a child with cancer likely to be cured except we can’t give the drug is beyond the imagination. How can we do that to families?”
Perhaps Erin Fox, Director of the Drug Information Service at the University of Utah Health Care in Salt Lake City, has the answer: “We see the most shortages with generics, specifically generic injectable products because they have low-profit margins and are difficult to make.”
To sum up, we’ve come to a place where an FDA-approved chemotherapy drug has been proven to help save children’s lives, but the drug is in short supply because it is not profitable to manufacture; therefore, some children will have to suffer from a taking a substitute drug that causes more severe side effects.
This is not a new story; just a variation on an old one. For example, we know about insulin’s high cost in keeping diabetes patients from taking their medicine. It is available but unaffordable. Vincristine is affordable but is fast becoming unavailable.
I’ve written before in this space about access to mental health care and the role of the health insurance industry in denying and delaying access to care. The story of vincristine adds further evidence of the corporate reality in which profits trump people every time.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
As young people all across the U.S. reach their 18th birthdays, they will become eligible to vote in their first presidential election in 2020. It’s shaping up to be a record turnout ever since the vote went to 18-year-olds in 1972, after the 26th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified.
Although the law was written to prevent government from denying a citizen who is at least 18 years old the right to vote, a number of state governments have found a way to do just that—and not only to 18-year-olds, but anyone who they think might vote against a favored candidate or proposition.
In a June 13, 2019, report for The Atlantic, writer Ron Brownstein cited Michael McDonald, a University of Florida political scientist who specializes in voting behavior. McDonald stated that the greatest increase in eligible voters comes from “young people who turn 18 and immigrants who become citizens.”
The increase in eligible voters doesn’t necessarily determine how many of them vote. Who shows up to vote does. And who is turned away doesn’t.
In recent years, there has been a fair amount of political bluster about rampant voter fraud, which has not been substantiated except in a miniscule number of individual instances. What has been well-documented historically, however, is voter suppression to prevent or discourage particular groups of people from voting. Many tactics are used to disenfranchise voters from casting ballots that range from inconveniencing voters to physically intimidating them.
For example, Jim Crow laws were passed in southern states after the Civil War to suppress poor and racial minority voters. Such laws were made illegal after the enactment of the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Nevertheless, in 2013 the Supreme Court decided to eliminate Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act; the loss of Section 4, it has been argued, results in voter suppression among African-Americans. In the intervening years more than 1,000 polling places were closed that were in close proximity to where many African-American eligible voters live.
In 2014, attorneys for seven college students argued in a North Carolina case that a voter ID law suppresses the youth vote. According to an ABA Journal report by Debra Cassens Weiss on July 18, 2014, “The North Carolina law at issue eliminated same-day registration, shortened the period for early voting, and eliminated a program that allowed teens to fill out registration forms that took effect on their 18th birthday. A photo ID [would be required] but student IDs won’t be accepted and neither will out-of-state driver’s licenses, in most cases.”
The next presidential election will be held Nov. 3, 2020. If you are a teenager who has or will become eligible to vote before that time, it is important that you register to vote and know your rights.
Depending on where you live, you can become eligible to cast a ballot in all state and federal elections when you reach 18. Check out www.usa.gov/voter-registration-age-requirements for age requirements by state. Another good resource regarding voting rights is the League of Women Voters (www.lwv.org) whose mission is: Empowering voters. Defending democracy.
Your vote counts. Get registered and use it.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Singer Alanis Morissette had the foresight to prepare for a recurrence of postpartum depression following the birth of her third child [“Postpartum blues for Morissette,” Flash!, Oct. 8]. Sadly, this is not the case for most new moms who experience depression.
It is important to understand that baby blues represents mild ups and downs and stress that new moms might experience for a few weeks after giving birth. Postpartum depression is the result of factors that can include the shifting of reproductive hormones following delivery, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, isolation, inadequate partner support, poverty and health issues of mom or baby.
Most women with postpartum depression are very hard on themselves, suffer in silence and harbor feelings of shame. This can spiral into hopelessness and a belief that things will never get better.
The good news, according to Sonia Murdoch, co-founder of the Postpartum Resource Center of New York, is that others can help. How? Just ask the question! Ask a new mother how she is doing — a first step toward eliminating the hopelessness that a new mom might be feeling. Ask the question.
Andrew Malekoff,
Long Beach
Editor’s note: The writer is executive director of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, which operates the Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression program in Manhasset.
Despite the contentious politics that the public is exposed to on a daily basis, there are valuable lessons to be learned.
For example, I wonder how many working people are fully aware that they have whistle-blower protections and what they are.
Their only exposure, until most recently, may have been to whistleblowers that have been popularized in films like On the Waterfront, Serpico, All the President’s Men, Silkwood, and Erin Brockovich, to name just a few that might ring a bell.
As the executive director of a nonprofit children’s mental health agency, it is my responsibility to make sure that we have a whistleblower policy.
This is to ensure that all employees understand the organization’s commitment to prohibiting intimidation, harassment, discrimination or other retaliation for reporting actions that are illegal, unethical, and fraudulent or in violation of any organization policy.
According to Tim Barnett, a professor in the Department of Management and Information Systems at Mississippi State University, whistleblowing policies should have the following components as a minimum:
1. A clear statement that employees who are aware of possible wrongdoing within the organization have a responsibility to disclose that information to appropriate parties inside the organization; 2. The designation of specific individuals or groups outside the chain of command as complaint recipients; 3. A guarantee that employees who in good faith disclose perceived wrongdoing to the designated parties inside the organization will be protected from adverse employment consequences; and 4. The establishment of a fair and impartial investigative process.
The Whistleblower Protection Act that was signed into law by President George W. Bush in 1989 extends the Civil Service Reform Act of 1978 to offer protections to federal government employees from retaliatory action for voluntarily disclosing information about dishonest or illegal activities occurring in a government organization.
If you follow the news you know that a federal employee – a whistleblower, recently filed a complaint involving the president’s phone call with the Ukrainian president. The President denies that any wrongdoing occurred. He is entitled to a fair hearing. Congress is investigating.
In the meantime, the President has asked, “why aren’t we entitled to interview and learn everything about the whistleblower and also the person who gave all of the false information to him?” That’s a fair question. The simple answer is because it would be a violation of the protections detailed in the law.
According to University of South Carolina professor Xuhong Su, “anonymity is of paramount importance for both protecting whistleblowers, but also in the long run, to incentivize more acting whistleblowers along the road.”
The president went on to say that the whistleblower is “almost a spy” and made reference to how spies were dealt with in the past. He didn’t spell it out, but spies were subject to long prison sentences or execution.
In fact, in 1971 when U.S. military analyst Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers, exposing decision making regarding the Vietnam War, he was charged under the Espionage Act of 1917 and faced 115 years in prison. The charges were later dismissed.
Imagine if a whistleblower at my workplace filed a report against me for some wrongdoing and when I learned of it if I announced, “I want that person in my office ASAP so I can get to the bottom of this.”
Although I’ve never been the subject of a whistleblower report, it would be most disconcerting to have someone unknown to me, report me for some alleged wrongdoing. Nevertheless, agency policy would prohibit me from doing anything other than waiting for a fair hearing.
I’m sure I would be upset and probably angry. And, I would wonder who made the report. I would likely speculate. I might have some fantasies about what to do about it. I’d like to think that I’d wait out the investigation. Would I make a death threat? I don’t think so.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
Despite the contentious politics that the public is exposed to on a daily basis, there are valuable lessons to be learned.
For example, I wonder how many working people are fully aware that they have whistle-blower protections and what they are.
Their only exposure, until most recently, may have been to whistleblowers that have been popularized in films like On the Waterfront, Serpico, All the President’s Men, Silkwood, and Erin Brockovich, to name just a few that might ring a bell.
As the executive director of a nonprofit children’s mental health agency, it is my responsibility to make sure that we have a whistleblower policy.
This is to ensure that all employees understand the organization’s commitment to prohibiting intimidation, harassment, discrimination or other retaliation for reporting actions that are illegal, unethical, and fraudulent or in violation of any organization policy.
According to Tim Barnett, a professor in the Department of Management and Information Systems at Mississippi State University, whistleblowing policies should have the following components as a minimum:
1. A clear statement that employees who are aware of possible wrongdoing within the organization have a responsibility to disclose that information to appropriate parties inside the organization; 2. The designation of specific individuals or groups outside the chain of command as complaint recipients; 3. A guarantee that employees who in good faith disclose perceived wrongdoing to the designated parties inside the organization will be protected from adverse employment consequences; and 4. The establishment of a fair and impartial investigative process.
The Whistleblower Protection Act that was signed into law by President George W. Bush in 1989 extends the Civil Service Reform Act of 1978 to offer protections to federal government employees from retaliatory action for voluntarily disclosing information about dishonest or illegal activities occurring in a government organization.
If you follow the news you know that a federal employee – a whistleblower, recently filed a complaint involving the president’s phone call with the Ukrainian president. The President denies that any wrongdoing occurred. He is entitled to a fair hearing. Congress is investigating.
In the meantime, the President has asked, “why aren’t we entitled to interview and learn everything about the whistleblower and also the person who gave all of the false information to him?” That’s a fair question. The simple answer is because it would be a violation of the protections detailed in the law.
According to University of South Carolina professor Xuhong Su, “anonymity is of paramount importance for both protecting whistleblowers, but also in the long run, to incentivize more acting whistleblowers along the road.”
The president went on to say that the whistleblower is “almost a spy” and made reference to how spies were dealt with in the past. He didn’t spell it out, but spies were subject to long prison sentences or execution.
In fact, in 1971 when U.S. military analyst Daniel Ellsberg released the Pentagon Papers, exposing decision making regarding the Vietnam War, he was charged under the Espionage Act of 1917 and faced 115 years in prison. The charges were later dismissed.
Imagine if a whistleblower at my workplace filed a report against me for some wrongdoing and when I learned of it if I announced, “I want that person in my office ASAP so I can get to the bottom of this.”
Although I’ve never been the subject of a whistleblower report, it would be most disconcerting to have someone unknown to me, report me for some alleged wrongdoing. Nevertheless, agency policy would prohibit me from doing anything other than waiting for a fair hearing.
I’m sure I would be upset and probably angry. And, I would wonder who made the report. I would likely speculate. I might have some fantasies about what to do about it. I’d like to think that I’d wait out the investigation. Would I make a death threat? I don’t think so.
Andrew Malekoff is the Executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
16-year-old Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg (Photo source: Greta Thunberg Facebook)
On Sept. 18, I listened to Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old Swedish climate activist who testified before a U.S. Congressional hearing on climate change. Her message was brief and then she answered questions along with a number of fellow youth climate activists.
She told the congressional members that she had no prepared remarks and, instead, was leaving them with written testimony. She said, “I am submitting this report as my testimony because I don’t want you to listen to me, I want you to listen to the scientists. And I want you to unite behind the science. And then I want you to take real action.”
Nevertheless, four months earlier she did offer more extensive remarks to the British Parliament. Here, in part, is what she said:
“My name is Greta Thunberg. I am 16 years old. I come from Sweden. And I speak on behalf of future generations. I know many of you don’t want to listen to us—you say we are just children. But we’re only repeating the message of the united climate science.
“Many of you appear concerned that we are wasting valuable lesson time, but I assure you we will go back to school the moment you start listening to science and give us a future. Is that really too much to ask?
“In the year 2030, I will be 26 years old. My little sister Beata will be 23. Just like many of your own children or grandchildren. That is a great age, we have been told. When you have all of your life ahead of you. But I am not so sure it will be that great for us.
“I was fortunate to be born in a time and place where everyone told us to dream big; I could become whatever I wanted to. I could live wherever I wanted to. People like me had everything we needed and more. Things our grandparents could not even dream of. We had everything we could ever wish for and yet now we may have nothing.
“Now we probably don’t even have a future any more.
“Because that future was sold so that a small number of people could make unimaginable amounts of money. It was stolen from us every time you said that the sky was the limit and that you only live once.
“You lied to us. You gave us false hope. You told us that the future was something to look forward to. And the saddest thing is that most children are not even aware of the fate that awaits us. We will not understand it until it’s too late. And yet we are the lucky ones. Those who will be affected the hardest are already suffering the consequences. But their voices are not heard.”
Greta went on to offer more specific information about reductions in greenhouse gases including methane gas escaping from rapidly thawing arctic permafrost. A note of clarification: When methane leaks into the air before being used it absorbs the sun’s heat, warming the atmosphere. If you would like more scientific detail you can read Greta’s full remarks to Parliament by clicking the link provided at the bottom of this column.
Greta concluded her remarks by stating, “We children are not sacrificing our education and our childhood for you to tell us what you consider is politically possible in the society that you have created. We have not taken to the streets for you to take selfies with us, and tell us that you really admire what we do.
“We children are doing this to wake the adults up. We children are doing this for you to put your differences aside and start acting as you would in a crisis. We children are doing this because we want our hopes and dreams back.
“I hope my microphone was on. I hope you could all hear me.” Just as Greta wanted Congress to listen to the scientists, I would like you to listen to her.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To learn more about the Guidance Center’s innovative programs, call 516-626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
During the early months of each year, North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center conducts an informal study in an attempt to understand who is calling us for help and what needs they’re calling us about. In recent years, the trend has been that most of the children and teens we see are experiencing depression, often coupled with anxiety.
Approximately 1 in 5 teens experience major depression, but about 60% do not receive treatment.
While everyone can have a bad day or two that eventually passes, with serious depression there is a more intense and prolonged feeling of hopelessness and inability to function in the important areas of one’s life, at school, at home or with peers.
“Both children and teens are at risk of depression when they experience traumatic events in their lives, such as divorce, death of a loved one, abuse or illness,” says Elissa Smilowitz, LCSWR and Coordinator of Triage & Emergency Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center.
But there isn’t always a dramatic event that triggers depression.
“Beginning around puberty, the risk of depression in teens increases,” says Regina Barros-Rivera, Associate Executive Director at the Guidance Center. “Their bodies are changing, and they’re experiencing hormonal fluctuations that can make them irritable and moody.”
During the teen years, peers become the number one influence in each other’s lives, but that doesn’t mean your role as a parent is any less significant. “Even though you feel them pulling away, your teens still need you during this time,” says Barros-Rivera. “They are more likely to begin engaging in risky behavior, so your influence is as important as ever. They need you to help them develop good judgment.”
Along with adolescence comes a whole host of new pressures. Schoolwork, body image, sexual orientation and peer pressure all can combine to make a teen feel overwhelmed.
So, while moodiness is a hallmark for adolescents, how do you know when your teen is experiencing depression and might need professional treatment?
Here are some signs that may indicate depression:
Withdrawal from friends and family
Anxiety
Low self-esteem
Increased anger
Worry about loss of control
Crying often
Inability to feel joy
Changes in appetite (either increased or decreased)
Sleeping more or less than usual
Feeling tired
Changes in grades or attitude toward school
Having trouble concentrating
Physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches
Use of drugs and/or alcohol
Expressing thoughts of suicide or wanting to die
Remember, it’s important that a medical doctor examine your teen since some symptoms of depression can have a physical cause such as thyroid problems, diabetes or other conditions. It may also run in families.
If you begin to see several of these symptoms lasting two weeks or more, contact North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center at 516-626-1971.
Note: For some helpful tips on preventing depression in your child or teen, click here for an article from the Mayo Clinic.
I just finished reading an op-ed piece that was published in the Hofstra Chronicle, entitled: “Anti-Semitism is alive and well at Hofstra” (Sept. 12). The author – Leilah Abelman, moved from San Diego to attend college at Hofstra last year. Abelman, an orthodox Jew wrote: “What I discovered was that anti-Semitism is alive and more insidious than I had expected.”
Her introduction to anti-Semitism occurred before she even stepped foot on campus. When two roommates assigned to her suite discovered that she and another roommate were religious Jews, they opted out. And, then early in her first semester when she told a professor that she would be absent from class during the Jewish high holy days, she was advised that she should reevaluate her religious beliefs.
Shortly after the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh in which 11 Jews were shot, she recalled, “another professor asked the class to discuss whether the shooter was “truly evil.” Many students expressed the belief that the shooter, who murdered 11 innocent Jewish people, could not be considered evil as he did what he believed was right.”
When Abelman expressed her discomfort with one professor asking the class to “imagine a world without Jews in it,” she was told by him to be “less sensitive.” She went on to address her concerns about these and other incidents with university administration and was told that since no university rules had been broken there was nothing they could do about it.
On page 9 of the Hofstra University Handbook, 2019-2012, Dean of Students Gabrielle St. Léger greets the campus community and speaks to the values expected of all Hofstra students regarding the importance of taking personal and social responsibility – and contributing to the greater campus community. The values she cited include: demonstrating respect for yourself and those around you, focusing on acting with integrity and developing into an ethical leader, and exploring the rich diversity around you.
According to Abelman, “Anti-Semitism at Hofstra may be more subtle than a swastika spray-painted onto a Jewish professor’s office door, which happened at Columbia University last year. However, it is just as dangerous.”
Abelman concluded her commentary by stating that she is tired of being ignored by the administration and “told by professors and students alike that anti-Semitism isn’t a real problem, or that it’s not as bad as other forms of racism and bigotry plaguing this nation.”
As the 2019 Jewish high holy days are upon us, we owe a debt of gratitude to Leilah Abelman, who had the courage to speak out and, in so doing, exemplified one of Hofstra’s core values: acting with integrity and developing into an ethical leader.
Andrew Malekoff is the executive director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, call (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.
