By Guest Blogger Abby Schiff

Social media is at the center of many people’s day to day lives. For moms today, the constant intake of online information has a plethora of negative effects. These include toxic comparisons, feelings of inadequacy, and stigma around postpartum and perinatal care.

North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Diane Goldberg Maternal Health & Wellness Program works to combat these issues, along with providing help to mothers, soon to be mothers, and their families.

Toxic Comparison

Many people perfectly curate their social media platforms to look like the “ideal” life. They exude perfection in every frame. Their baby is happy, they are happy, they look good, their house looks good, and the list goes on.

For people looking in, this causes intense comparison with themselves to others, even family and friends who post online. They see a picture of a video of someone who is happy in their snapshot, and instantly feel like they are not doing enough or the correct thing.

“Everything looks so perfect when people are posting, but it’s not real. You are looking at someone’s life in a small moment in time, and you don’t know what happens before and after,” says Marsha Smith, LCSW.

“People with body image issues who haven’t lost weight after pregnancy are online comparing themselves to people who have,” says Dr. Sue Cohen, Director of Clinical Services.

When asked about the social media space for mothers, Smith says, “People doomscroll and get so much information. The algorithms perpetuate with negative content. It causes doom and gloom.”

Once you see one video about an issue with childbirth or life with newborns, they start flooding in and it is easy to get caught in the chaos.

The team at the Diane Goldberg Maternal Health & Wellness Program recommends that pregnant and postpartum moms sign off of social media to avoid the negativity that the platform can bring.

Stop the Stigma

Postpartum and perinatal treatment is incredibly stigmatized, motherhood is met with the expectation that everything is joyful and perfect leading up to and after birth. This can make it incredibly difficult for new mothers to seek the help they need, resulting from fear of judgement and feeling shame.

More women than ever are getting their advice from social media influencers and not professionals, which can lead to a delay in getting the help they need.

In order to decrease the shame and stigma surrounding postpartum and perinatal treatment, there needs to be more education surrounding it. More people need to become aware of what can happen to mothers before, during, and after pregnancy, and that it is not something to judge or be ashamed about.

The Diane Goldberg Maternal Health & Wellness Program

Many women experience mild mood changes during pregnancy and after birth, but 15-20% of women experience more significant symptoms. These can include signs of postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) such as: trouble eating or sleeping, trouble taking care of yourself or your baby, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, having uncomfortable/scary thoughts.

The Diane Goldberg Maternal Health & Wellness Program provides services to help women in need. Services include: screening and assessments; individual, couple, and family therapy; crisis intervention consultation; psychiatric evaluations and medication management when needed; support groups; back to work family support; self-care practices; and workshop opportunities.

In-person connections between mothers in all stages gets rid of the highly filtered and polarized communities online. It allows for authentic and active support, facilitating emotions that can’t always be felt through the screen. Tangible support can be extremely helpful, as mothers can share supplies and lean on each other. Real life connections also decrease the toxic comparison culture, instead focusing on real, raw, unfiltered conversations and embracing imperfections.

The Guidance Center serves women with PMADs to make sure their moods are stable, they are not harming themselves or others, and administer medication management, if needed.

The program is located at the Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center at 80 North Service Road, LIE Manhasset, NY 11030. You can call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971 for more information on this lifesaving program.

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