North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center is pleased to announce that its golf fundraiser has raised $54,750 to support the organization’s lifesaving work.
As the preeminent not-for-profit children’s mental health agency on Long Island, the Guidance Center counts on donations to provide services for children, teens and families experiencing mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety — especially important during these unprecedented times.
For the safety of its supporters, the Guidance Center canceled its Jonathan Krevat Memorial Golf & Tennis Classic this year, a large fundraising event that typically has well over 100 attendees.
Luckily, Guidance Center Board Member Andrew Marcell stepped in and saved the day, hosting a smaller gathering of six foursomes at the Sands Point Golf Club, where social distancing and other safety measures could be taken.
“As a proud Board Member of the Guidance Center, I was thrilled to hold this fundraiser,” said Marcell, CEO of Aon Reinsurance Solutions, which sponsored the event. “I’m very grateful to my many colleagues and friends who supported the golf outing. They know that the work of the Guidance Center is instrumental in making the lives of our kids healthy and happy.”
Paul Vitale, president of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors, expressed gratitude to Marcell for making the event such a big success. “Andy’s dedication to the Long Island community shows in everything he does,” said Vitale. “With the Guidance Center team busier than ever providing therapy to children and families who are facing tough challenges brought on by the pandemic, it’s a real blessing to know that Andy is there for us.”
All proceeds from the event benefit the Guidance Center. To learn more about the organization’s services and how you can help, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.
Just one week from today, many Americans will be exercising their rights and heading to the polls—that is, if they haven’t already voted early or by mail. People on both sides of the aisle are calling this the most important election of our lifetimes.
It may surprise you, but the reality is that, for a variety of reasons, many people opted not to vote in 2016. The Pew Research Center says that four years ago, 40% of adults who were eligible to vote chose to stay home. In many states, this figure was closer to 50%.
If doing your civic duty isn’t enough reason to get you and your loved ones to the polls, here’s something that might help: There is a correlation between good overall health and voting!
According to the authors of a review that appeared in the July 2020 Public Health Reviews journal, overall, “Lower voting rates are consistently associated with poor self-rated health.”
And the opposite is true, according to another study that reported that voting participation in local elections “is positively associated with self-assessed health.”
Here’s how an article from University Health Services in Wisconsin put it:
“The relationship between health and voting is both well-researched and reciprocal. Research shows that the healthier you are, the more likely you are to cast a ballot. In turn, there is also research that shows voting can actually make people healthier. When a person is involved with civic life, they are social, efficacious and participating.”
The well-being of teens and young adults also correlates with taking part in this most honored tradition. A 2018 study in the journal Child Development followed nearly 10,000 youth ages 11-20 for 15 years and found that those who engaged in any of three activities—volunteering, voting or activism—were not only likely to be healthier, they also had higher incomes and educational levels than those who did not.
Another way mental and physical health are connected to voting: Politicians don’t all agree on healthcare options such as insurance coverage choices, access to care, preexisting conditions and affordability. It doesn’t matter if you are a Republican, Democrat or Independent, you deserve to be fully informed. So, do some research and find out the position of your local, state and national candidates on the ballot.
Remember, your vote can impact the level and quality of your healthcare, so don’t miss your opportunity to make your voice heard!
Are your youngsters excited about the upcoming holiday? Halloween is a favorite time of year for most kids, but this year brings some new challenges.
No one wants to take the joy of this annual fest/feast away from kids. To help keep them safe, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has put out some smart guidelines on trick-or-treating and other Halloween events.
Mask Up but Mask Right!
First, make sure that your child wears a mask—and that doesn’t mean one that comes with their store-bought costume. One strategy is to dress them up as a doctor or nurse so a surgical-type mask is a natural part of their outfit. But if they want to be a character from Disney or Harry Potter or just dress up as a traditional ghost or witch, in the time of Covid, masks are a must.
Important note: The CDC advises that it’s not a good idea to wear a costume mask over a cloth mask, since it can make breathing more difficult. Also, masks should not be worn on kids under two.
Handling Kids and Candy
The usual method of having children choose their treat out of a bowl or handing some treats to them are problematic this year, since safety requires as little physical contact as possible.
Some possible solutions: Set up a trick-or-treat “station” (or table) outdoors that has individually bagged treats that kids can pick up themselves. Spread them out a bit so each kid touches only his or her bag and be sure to wash your hands before stuffing the bags. You might even consider having hand sanitizer near the treat bags for kids to stay germ-free.
Since you may not want to miss greeting your young visitors, feel free to stand six feet or more away from your goodie bag table— and don’t forget to wear a mask yourself.
Tips for Trick-or-Treaters
Before heading out, make sure your children wash their hands after they’ve put on their protective masks. Bring hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol with you (or give it to your kids, if they are old enough to go out alone, typically 11 and up).
Going out in big groups increases the risk of transmission, so you may want to consider keeping it to just family or perhaps one or two good friends.
Once they bring home the booty, make sure they wash their hands thoroughly before eating any of it. If you want to be extra cautious, you could put it aside for a few days and have some candy on hand that you bought to tide them over.
The Usual Precautions
Pandemic aside, the normal safety advice applies to this year’s Halloween.
Some tips:
Tell kids to cross only at corners, looking left, right and left again before crossing, and never run across the street.
Ask them to leave the phones at home, or at least put them down so they can pay attention to where they are walking.
If your older children are going alone, plan and review the route that is acceptable to you. Agree on a specific time when they should return home.
Use reflective tape or stickers on costumes, which should never be too long to trip over. Carrying glow sticks or flashlights is also a good idea.
Remember to drive with extra caution on Halloween, both day and night, since kids may dart in front of your car.
Remove hoses, tools, bikes and other possible hazards from your front lawn and porch.
Go through your kids’ candy before allowing them to eat it; throw away anything with a tear in the wrapper or that is homemade; and set limits on how much candy per day can be consumed.
Protect your pets by keeping them inside and away from the front door.
Never let a child of any age carve a pumpkin without close supervision—better yet, decorate with paint and stickers.
Finally, if you’re not comfortable sending your kids out this year due to the pandemic, there are alternatives. Some ideas: Hide candy around your house; visit a pumpkin farm or corn maze (bring masks and hand sanitizer) that is practicing social distancing; attend a scavenger hunt; hold a socially distanced costume parade; or host an outdoor movie night with a few close friends and neighbors.
In this new monthly column, therapists from North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center will be answering your questions on issues related to parenting, mental health and children’s well-being. To submit a question, email NSCFGCexperts@gmail.com
Question: My son and daughter are athletes on their school’s sports teams, and they’re really struggling with the loss of these activities due to the pandemic. How can I help them deal with this difficult situation?
—Sports Mom
Dear Sports Mom: Being part of organized sports is such an important part of life for many of our children and teens, and you’re correct in describing this as a loss.
The many benefits of sports to a child’s physical and mental well-being are well known. Sports help kids develop fine motor skills, reduce stress and boost their immune systems. Children who participate in sports tend to have greater self-esteem. They learn teamwork, responsibility and perseverance, and they develop lasting friendships.
Many of our kids are experiencing a deep sense of grief. They’ve not only lost sports, but also many other important activities and the many relationships closely tied to those experiences.
As with any disappointment, encourage your child to discuss their feelings instead of keeping them all bottled up. You never want to give the impression that this isn’t a big deal. It is!
While they may want to spend more time on their screens, it’s important to set limits. Too much screen time is likely, in the long run, to make kids feel more isolated, unmotivated and demoralized. It’s fine to relax those rules to some degree, allowing for the diversion and connection with their peers, but don’t abandon reasonable limits altogether.
Perhaps your most important tool is to create other opportunities to keep your child healthy and engaged. Those could include family walks or other physical activities, such as practicing drills together or doing an online exercise class.
Although we don’t have a timetable for when the pandemic will be over, let your kids know that the best medical experts in the world are working on the solution and that you are optimistic that things will return to normal.
Question: Our daughters, one in middle school and the other in elementary, were taunted by one of their classmates because they are Chinese Americans. The boy called them derogatory names and said that they caused the pandemic. What can we do to protect them from this type of discrimination?
—Heartbroken Parents
Dear Heartbroken Parents: Sadly, anti-Asian bias has been widespread throughout the country and right here on Long Island. Verbal and even physical assaults against kids and adults have risen dramatically.
Your first job is to listen to your children closely and validate their feelings. They are likely frightened, angry and even embarrassed—all normal responses to such a traumatic event. Tell them they have nothing to be ashamed of and being bullied is not their fault.
Report the incident to their teacher, guidance counselor and principal. Suggest that they discuss bias and racism in the classroom and assemblies. Students need to be taught that any type of racist behavior or slurs will not be tolerated. They also need to learn about the value of diversity from a very early age.
Some more important steps:
Advise your children to record these interactions with their phones as soon as they begin.
Give children age-appropriate facts about the virus, so they know no culture is responsible for the pandemic.
Model the behavior you want to see in your children by being anti-racist yourself.
Teach them to stand up for themselves respectfully without escalating the situation further.
If the bias is an ongoing problem or there is any physical harm or threat of harm, contact the police, and make sure your children know to dial 911 if they are ever in danger. You can also report the incident to Nassau County’s Office of Asian-American Affairs at (516) 572-2244.
Bullies have been around since time immemorial, but with the heightened tensions and anxieties in our country related to the virus, politics, racism and more, children and teens are experiencing an increase in conflict and bullying incidents.
Bulling comes in four basic forms:
Verbal bullying involves the use of spoken words, with the bully threatening or calling someone by degrading names. It may also involve the use of slurs toward family or friends of their target.
Physical bullying involves hitting, kicking, pushing or any form of unwanted touch.
Relational bullying is when the bully purposely excludes his or her victim from activities, groups or events.
Cyberbullying is when someone uses Facebook, Instagram, texting or other social media to spread rumors and lies about another person.
While bullying can happen at any age, middle school is a particularly active time for bullies to do their worst. Here are some bullying facts:
One out of every five students reported being bullied.
Of those students who reported being bullied, 13% were made fun of, called names or insulted; 13% were the subject of rumors; 5% were pushed, shoved, tripped or spit on; and 5% were deliberately excluded from activities.
Students who experience bullying are at increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep problems, poor grades and dropping out of school.
The reasons for being bullied reported most often by students include physical appearance, race/ethnicity, gender, disability, religion and sexual orientation.
Students who reported frequently bullying others and students who report being frequently bullied are at increased risk for suicide-related behavior.
Bullies use intimidation as a tool to keep their victims quiet, which makes many kids reluctant to report the behavior. That’s why it’s very important for schools to tackle this subject directly, educating students on what bullying is and what they can do when they witness it or experience it themselves. In fact, research indicates that school-based bullying prevention programs decrease bullying by up to 25%.
Dr. Sue Cohen, director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center, treats many children and teens who have experienced bullying, and advises them to use their power to speak up.
“Look the bully in the eye and tell him or her to stop in a calm, firm voice,” she says. “If it seems unsafe, walk away immediately. Either way, tell a trusted adult about the incident.”
Confronting the bully directly may be frightening, she adds, so often it’s easier for the child to tell a parent, teacher or counselor. “Since silence only encourages the bullying behavior, speaking out is crucial. Keep the lines of communication open with your child.”
The prevalence of social media and other technologies has made bullying more pervasive than ever, so kids need to be taught smart ways to protect themselves online—and also how to not be a bully themselves. “Teach your children to be kind to others and to never post anything out of anger or that is gossip,” says Cohen. “Also, let them know they should never pass on a nasty message, photo or rumor about anyone.”
Parents should be on the lookout for signs that their child is using verbal or physical aggression to deal with conflict; talking about getting even with others; or suddenly has items that don’t belong to him/her.
Finally, if you are a parent and your child is being bullied at school or by other students outside of school, don’t confront the bully or the parents. Contact the school principal or guidance counselor, and contact the police if your child is threatened with harm.
