By Denise Ingenito, LCSW, Director of Clinical Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Originally Published in Schneps Media on July 25
Summer brings endless possibilities, whether it’s basking at the beach, riding roller coasters… or fighting with family. Vacations introduce stressors that might not come up at home, making it difficult to manage a packed itinerary and tired children alike.
Though many aspects of a trip are out of your control, parents do have a say in how they plan for and confront conflict that arises. A realistic outlook and openness to improvisation can help to ensure that your summer outing brings the family closer together, not further apart.
Traveling with Kids of Different Ages
Planning a vacation that accommodates children of all ages can prove to be quite a feat. Teenagers often desire freedom and time on their own, which might not always mesh with the rest of the family’s plans. Find activities that allow them to explore independently while still being safely supervised. Encourage them to take on leadership roles in group activities, but avoid putting too much responsibility on their shoulders.
For younger children, the disruption to their routines can lead to stressful moments. Be prepared for some flexibility in their schedules; if nap times or mealtimes get thrown off, don’t sweat it—just build some extra downtime into the itinerary. Keep an eye on their energy levels and emotional cues to gauge when they might need a break.
Set Expectations
Everyone has a vision of what a great vacation looks like, and these ideas can vary widely. Are you headed for a calming lakeside retreat or an action-packed adventure? By discussing and aligning on what each person hopes to get out of the trip, you can set realistic expectations and ensure that everyone is excited and prepared for the days ahead.
Encourage your children to express their interests and preferences. While not everything can be tailored to their exact wishes, giving them a voice in the planning process can help them feel more invested and willing to compromise. It’s all about finding a balance where everyone’s needs are considered, even if they’re not fully met.
Set Boundaries
Traveling brings a whirlwind of activity, and there will come a point when everyone needs a breather. Setting boundaries is key to managing feelings of overstimulation and irritation. Designate some downtime for the adults to relax and for the kids to enjoy some independent play. If teenagers have been taking on extra responsibilities, make sure they get time to themselves, too.
Create space for individual needs and moments of respite. This can mean independent play for the kids or periods where everyone can unwind individually. Respecting these boundaries helps prevent conflicts and ensures that everyone returns to the planned activities feeling refreshed.
Dealing with Disappointment
Even with the best-laid plans, no vacation is perfect. Conflicts and disappointments are inevitable, but how you handle them can make a big difference. If things don’t go as planned, take the time to acknowledge and discuss the feelings of disappointment. Reflect on what could have been better and what you can do differently next time.
Be sure to focus on the positives as well! What went smoothly? What was everyone’s favorite part? What made you laugh? Sharing these reflections with your family can help to shift the focus from disappointments to memorable moments. Opening the door to these conversations fosters a positive outlook and helps everyone appreciate the trip more fully.
After the Vacation
Once the vacation is over, take some time to review and savor the highlights. Break out the photo album and discuss your favorite moments from the trip. These discussions can create lasting memories that bring you closer together, even when things don’t go exactly as planned.
To learn about our lifesaving programs, call the Guidance Center at (516) 626-1971 or visit www.northshorechildguidance.org. In case of an emergency after hours, contact our partners at Long Island Crisis Center, (516) 679-1111.
