By Denise Ingenito, Director of Clinical Services at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center
Originally Published in Schneps Media on May 8, 2025
A tragic reality that has become all too common has left parents and children grappling with fear on a daily basis. Data tracked by Everytown for Gun Safety shows that, in the first five months of 2025 alone, there have been 47 incidents of gunfire on school grounds, resulting in 13 deaths, 41 injuries, and a widespread environment of anxiety and uncertainty for our most vulnerable population.
According to Pew Research Center, 57% of teens expressed worry about the possibility of a shooting happening at their school, while nearly 70% of parents worry for their children’s safety while receiving their education.
This deeply rooted concern challenges the sense of security that is so important for children’s mental and emotional development, impacting their ability to thrive both academically and socially. It’s more important than ever for parents to instill a sense of safety and security in their children, strengthening the emotional well-being that allows children to learn, grow, and connect.
Open Communication
When a child brings up safety concerns, listen and turn the conversation into a teachable moment. Starting an open dialogue by asking questions about their experiences in school helps children articulate their emotions and empowers them to think through plans that can better their safety.
Though you don’t want to shelter children from current events, overexposing them to distressing media can heighten their worry and make them feel that the world is a dangerous place. Discussing news events as a family in a calm manner will help to manage their uncertainty and allow you to ensure they have accurate information about the situation at hand.
When symptoms of distress and anxiety emerge, create a safe and supportive space for your child. By validating their feelings, you are letting them know that it’s okay to feel worried or anxious, which helps to reduce any shame or guilt they might feel about being afraid.
Preparing Children Without Creating Fear
Balancing the need to prepare children for emergencies without creating more fear can be a challenge. Lockdown drills are scary for kids of all ages and should be presented as part of a broader safety plan. Walking children through what will happen step-by-step and explaining that these measures are there to keep them safe will alleviate some of the nervousness this type of exercise can cause.
Encouraging situational awareness and teaching children what they can do to keep themselves safe in different scenarios will help them feel in control. Emphasize that these measures are in place to prevent something bad from happening, rather than because a threat is inevitable.
Remind your children to look for the good in the world; there are always people willing to help in times of struggle.
The Relationships Between Parents, Teachers, and Students
Effective communication is the cornerstone of a safe school environment. Since children are perceptive and often pick up on the anxieties of the adults around them, parents and teachers should be mindful of how they talk about safety concerns, displaying a calm, confident demeanor and providing reassurance when needed. When adults work together, they ensure that children receive a consistent message about their safety.
While the stories seen on the evening news often feel entirely out of our control, we do have a say in how we respond. Parents play a major role in helping their children develop resilience and confidence, forming the tools they need to navigate a world full of uncertainty.
For more information about the Guidance Center’s lifesaving programs, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org or call (516) 626-1971.